To be cruelly honest, everything is bittersweet for me.
Nakapasa sa mga CETs mga friends ko and I'm proud but at the same time I have this gnawing regret, bakit hindi ko tinry?
Everyone seems to be going straight to their own paths, achievement dito, recognition here, na figure out na nila yung mga gusto nila. I'm proud but I kept on thinking, ako kaya kailan?
Ang masama pa dito, I always remind myself that I can do better. Kung kaya nila, kaya ko din. Pero all that effort drowns into buti pa sila.
And all those sht na motivate yourself whatsoever is definitely not working.
Ang sakit - sakit - sakit.
Feeling ko nauubusan na ko ng oras, hindi parin ako makapagdecide, everyone is leaving me behind, wala na kong kakapitan, sana paggising ko tapos na lang lahat deba.
Ang sht kasi I want to be that someone na my love would be proud of, pero I guess I'll be this stupid and pathetic na, sana lang di nya ko iwan.
Sana hindi ko siya mahatak pababa. He deserves someone better talaga. And I don't mean this in a overrated manner, as in he deserves better. Not me.
Kasi I'm already stuck here, whatever progress he makes would always be bittersweet for me. I would be proud but I would also loathe myself for not trying hard enough. Tangina lang deba. Ang vicious nung cycle sana mag stop nalang everything.











