"In"correct Quotes

It's Always Sunny in Gotham

[incorrectbatclan]

Bruce, making mashed potatoes: It just feels like you don’t trust my cooking.

Alfred, also making mashed potatoes: Don’t be daft, Master Bruce.

[incorrectbatclan]

Tim: Ah yes baguettes, the snakes of bread. We’ll take two of your freshest yeasty eels, good sir.

Dick: What?

Jason: Ignore him.

[incorrectbatclan]

Tim: Are you crazy? We’re not medically trained to help people.

Dick: I know DDR.

Jason: …What?

Dick: It’s what you do when people can’t breathe. DDR.

Tim: It’s not DDR.

Dick: Yes, it is.

Tim: You can’t Dance Dance Revolution on people’s lungs.

Dick: You can try.

[incorrectbatclan]

Young Bruce: I'm pretty easy going

Young Selina: I once saw you use a ruler to measure another ruler

Bruce: It was off by half a centimetre. It never should've been in circulation

[incorrectbatclan]

Tim: When I get murdered, make sure my case is unsolved.

Bruce: What?

Tim: I want to be on BuzzFeed Unsolved

Bruce: Let’s go back to the ‘when I get murdered’ part.

[incorrectbatclan]

Jason: I relate to Belle because she loves books and likes people for who they are.

Dick: I relate to Tinkerbell because she needs attention or she dies.

[incorrectbatclan]

Steph: What’s the first thing you notice when a man approaches you?

Babs: The audacity.

[incorrectbatclan]

Dick: Alfred, do you have any books on turtles?

Alfred: Hardback?

Dick: Yeah, with little heads.

[incorrectbatclan]

Dick: Welcome to my first blog where I will be testing different hair products

Dick: *Sprays hairspray directly into his mouth*

Dick: Right off the bat, I can tell you that this one is not very good

[incorrectbatclan]

Jason: I was babysitting Lian today and when I told her she couldn’t eat ice cream for breakfast she told me that I wasn’t her best friend anymore.

Jason: So we compromised. She’s on her second bowl of ice cream and now I’m her best friend in the entire world.

[incorrectbatclan]

Tim: *Taps table gently*

Jason: *Taps back*

Wally: What are they doing?

Dick: Morse code.

Tim: *Aggressively taps table*

Dick: Ooooooooooooh!

Jason: *Slams hands onto table*

Jason: YOU BITCH TAKE THAT BACK

[incorrectbatclan]

Tim: And, as I always say, quality over quantity.

Dick: For the last time, that saying does not apply to sleep!

[incorrectbatclan]

Jason: Where's Tim?

Dick: In the bathroom. He takes really long showers when he's upset

Steph: How long do you think he'll be in there?

Dick: I don't know; he took a chair with him

[incorrectbatclan]

Damian: And how do you think you’re going to stop me?

Tim: I’ll tell Dick.

Damian: …

Damian: You sick bastard.

[incorrectbatclan]

Jason: You know my motto: Carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles

Clark: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s that last one?

Bruce, sighing: Seize the dick

[incorrectbatclan]

Medic: You’re losing a lot of blood! Quick! What’s your type?

Dick: Red hair, green eyes, tall…

Medic: I mean your blood type.

Dick: *Squints at wound*

Dick: Red.

[incorrectbatclan]

Damian: So hypothetically, if I were to get another dog.

Bruce: Damian, you are not to bring another dog into the manor!

Jason: So hypothetically, if Damian lost a dog in the manor 20 minutes ago...