Incorrect anime

[whateveranimex]

Dazai: Oh, here's my award for the most rules broken!

Chuuya: That's not an award, it's an angry letter from our boss.

Dazai, hanging it on their wall: Well, it has the word 'most' in it, so I'm calling it an award!

[whateveranimex]

Dazai: How tall are you?

Chuuya: Extremely. Thanks for asking.

[whateveranimex]

Chuuya: I'm worried about you...

Dazai, dunking oreos in whiskey: Why?

[whateveranimex]

Dazai: Chuuya has only knocked me out three times this week. Our friendship is really developing.

[whateveranimex]

Dazai with puppy eyes: I baked you a cookie... But I eated it...

Chuuya: Don't you ever get tired of being fucking annoying?

[whateveranimex]

Chuuya: Do you think I'm ugly?

Dazai: It's not about looks, Chuuya. What's valuable is on the inside...

Chuuya: Osamu...

Dazai: For example, someone's heart.

Chuuya: Aw... Stop it-

Dazai: It could be purchased for more than a million dollars, you know.

Chuuya: Seriously, stop.

[whateveranimex]

Chuuya: Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this!

Dazai: Apparently, we're not.

[whateveranimex]

Dazai: I'd take you out...

Chuuya: Really?

Dazai: Maybe, I don't know, I be lying sometimes.

[whateveranimex]

Dazai: I'm like Heinz Doofenshmirtz because I, too, like being petty, singing off-key and over-sharing my deepest traumas for no discernible reason.

Chuuya: Not to mention that you think of yourself as evil but are, at best, a minor inconvenience.

[whateveranimex]

Chuuya: Hey bro, what you doing tonight?

Dazai: Nothin', how about you?

Chuuya: Having a party tonight, you down?

Dazai: Hell yeah bro, I'm down. What time?

Chuuya: 11pm, bro. There's gonna be a lotta fighting and a lotta fucking.

Dazai: Can't wait bro! You know who's gonna be there?

Chuuya: No one, bro. Just me and you.

Dazai:...Huh?

[whateveranimex]

Dazai: I feel awful about killing you.

Chuuya:

Dazai: Even though technically you never even died, so I don't know what you're bitching about.

[whateveranimex]

Dazai: When am I gonna be able to have my 100k slow burn enemies to lovers relationship...?

Kunikida: Stop reading fanfiction and get back to work.

[whateveranimex]

Chuuya: I owe you one.

Dazai: That's ok. You can just date me and we'll call it even.

[whateveranimex]

Chuuya: *dangles hand off bed*

Dazai, under the bed: *grabs hand*

Chuuya: This is nice

Chuuya: Wait, why the fuck are you under my bed-

[whateveranimex]

Chuuya: Did you buy eggs like I asked?

Dazai: Even better!

Chuuya: What the fuck did you-

Dazai: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy.

[whateveranimex]

Dazai: If you have knees, you are valid.

Chuuya: Homophobes have knees though?

Dazai: Not for long.

[whateveranimex]

Dazai: Bonjour, Chuuya. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

Chuuya: No, I don't want to sleep with you.

Dazai: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.