p i z z a

being a teenager is......

[whatislifewithnotears]

body dysmorphia is a bitch

[whatislifewithnotears]

From a Tiktok I saw....

I saw this TikTok that talked about how this person learned to love from the women in her life and I thought it was beautiful. My mother, sisters, nieces, cousins, and dearest girlfriends have taught me more about love in its purest form than I have ever felt from any man in my life.... even my father. They love me when I wake up looking shitty, drunk, or tired from crying all night. In the good and in the bad, they have loved me through it all. They loved me on days when even I did not want their love. Sometimes I get sad about the fact that I haven't been loved by a boyfriend or the guy I would constantly daydream about, but I barely get to dwell on those thoughts as the women in my life flood me with so much love and appreciation that I have no time to think of anything other than myself being loved.

[whatislifewithnotears]

familial love

I’ve unearthed an interesting thing about my sisters growing up, and it’s that they are insanely clingy. Being the youngest is hard for someone who shies away from affection because I’m the direct receiving end of it. I love those women to death but sometimes they scare the crap out of me. I get calls at random days with one sister asking me why I never call her enough or tell her I miss her or hang out with her. I have another sister who leans on me a little too much and asks me to hug her constantly (which is funny because I don’t particularly like hugs) or sleep beside her or comfort her. And when I hang out with my friends they get all possessive and ask me why I’m never hanging out with them when we literally LIVE TOGETHER. I don’t know. Sometimes I love them to death but other days I think about how ridiculous they can be. They love me a little too much that they want my full attention on them and I love them I really do, but sometimes I just want to run away from them. Like of course I’m their little sister and I will always be their little sister. I fear that they see me growing up and they can’t let go of the idea of me always being their little girl. It’s also funny because they forget that I also have a life of my own and I don’t hound them when they spend time with their friends. I really don’t understand why they’re so clingy and possessive over me. THIS IS THE DILEMMA OF BEING THE YOUNGEST OUT OF 6 CHILDREN.

[whatislifewithnotears]

A series: 2023 realizations

I realized I’m actually quite anti-social and very much introverted. Yes, I do love spending time with people that matter to me, but I also equally enjoy just resting. I haven’t been able to properly REST for a while. My life and everything around me always seems to be ablaze but all I want to do is sit in a corner and lay there for a longer time. Maybe this is my hibernating period because I get all giddy and outgoing as the month’s progress. Maybe I’m just worried about going back to school and feeling exhaustion again that right now all I long for is absolute rest.

[sickofshitsickoflife]

it’s back. ber months draining what little energy i have left. im

fucking exhausted.

sept 27, 2022

[whatislifewithnotears]

when November hits, the feelings start fading

[whatislifewithnotears]

anti-hero

"it's me, hi, i'm the problem, it's me"

i wouldn't want to blame myself but sometimes i think that maybe there really is something wrong with me. why do i always lose them when it gets good? i think that maybe this could be something special, maybe my turn has finally come, and then it all comes crashing down. i've only ever had bad experiences and i don't know why i always let my guard down. maybe this time it's because it's been so long that i forgot i was not someone people easily stayed for. and in the end, i was right, alone again, left behind. i kind of want to rest for a while, all these disappointments have led me down a self-sabotage spiral and i have no more energy left inside of me. i want to take care of myself for once, put me at the top for once. i will be fine, even if i've been sulking for the past couple of weeks. i'm a certified lover girl and i just don't know why things never work out. lmao. anyways, i'm happy for my friends and for the people that love and appreciate them. they are so beautiful and so kind that seeing them appreciated makes me feel happy. they deserve that love they really do.

[whatislifewithnotears]

a random person airdropped me a note in the library when I felt like absolute shit and it warmed my heart because that was the first time it had ever happened to me :')

[whatislifewithnotears]

tired.

back in my zero energy era

i hate being introverted

this shit is so annoying in my head

[whatislifewithnotears]

alone again.

[whatislifewithnotears]

Vincent, I still think of you on nights I feel alone

[whatislifewithnotears]

growing up

I think that the saddest thing that happens to us growing up is realizing things aren't as happy and perfect as they seem

You realize that the adults you used to adore aren't as amazing as they used to be and are actually shitty people who do shitty things and you slowly start to learn more about the fucked up world we're living in and suddenly all the childhood magic is gone and you didn't even realize that it had suddenly disappeared.

[thepersonalquotes]

[whatislifewithnotears]

lmao i basically forget abt my tumblr acct for months then remember and shit post all in a day then disappear again

[whatislifewithnotears]

jokes are half meant

I lowkey feel like I should see a therapist though I joke about it a lot with my fam

[whatislifewithnotears]

I've been having mental breakdowns and crying all over the place because I feel like my life is going on without me, people I love are making memories without me and I feel like I won't be able to catch up with everything that's been going on, i'm trapped at home and I feel like shit all day and at first I told myself it was gonna be okay and that I should make the most of everything right now but I finally hit my limit and I'm slowly spiralling to the fucking bottom, I told my bestfriend about it and I love her for comforting me but I don't think she really understands what I meant when I said I am frustrated like wanting to bang my head crying in bed frustrated, if nothing good happens to me I'm going to be stuck in this zone

[whatislifewithnotears]

no one ever told me it would be so hard to tell people about my feelings when I'd grow up and now I don't know how to tell people when i'm not okay or when I need someone to be there for me or just listen to me, subconsciously I fear that they'd disappoint me and I realised that I have no more energy to put up with that when I, myself am all alone