mae

[whatsittomae]

I knew this moment was coming. Creeping up on us more and more as time passed by. For years I knew what was coming, I just chose not to see it for what it is.

[whatsittomae]

it’s hard to remember to be happy we ever existed even tho we no longer do. im happy to see you grow and mend from a distance. i know words and action come from a place of hurt so i hope forgiveness and happiness are your friends too.

there will always be the selfish part of me that longs for a friend like we were to each other before we grew.

[whatsittomae]

my sweet anonymous friend, you got me all types of ways rn!! How does your message from 8 months ago still hit and resonate so hard. Im sorry im just seeing it but it’s what i needed today.

Definitely a deep breath I needed. Thank you

[emotionalwords]

i’m loyal cause it’s in me, not because i need you.

[babbyygirrrl]

no one will ever fully be able to understand the internal battles you had to endure just to heal, just to grow, just to make it here today. be proud of the way you fought to save yourself. be proud of the way you survived.

[whatsittomae]

Anon, you continue to keep me strong. I’m glad I can go back and visit your kind and helpful words. I can’t thank you enough for helping me thru my internal battles

[whatsittomae]

Something I wish I could talk more about:

I lost my sister. I lost my sidekick. I lost my friend.

I lost someone I’ve known their entire life and someone I wished to spend the rest of my life getting to know. I didn’t lose her in death but I lost her emotionally. I don’t know if things will ever get better but they haven’t seemed to in the past few years. The gap just seem to get worse as more time passes.

A lot of the time I wonder if she misses me as I do her. I wonder if she wishes she can turn back time as do I. I wonder if she regrets the choices she’s made as I do mine.

There can be no right or wrong because I may always believe my beliefs as she will believe in hers.

I hope one day she will come to see and understand me in a new light. I hope our lives come together and we can be sisters again.

[whatsittomae]

Ive tried so hard to move on yet just like that im here in the same place… maybe even a worse place honestly

torn between all my feelings, all my rose colored memories and ideas of you, all my love and care for you.

Just like that I’m back at one

[whatsittomae]

Some people come at you with the pain you caused them but don’t even acknowledge the pain they caused you.

[whatsittomae]

happy heartbreak anniversary.

It’s been exactly 2 years since you told me you didn’t want to be friends or continue trying. It still cuts deep.

I wish I could call you and be with you - to share all of our moments together, good and bad. To laugh together and make new memories together.

I miss you everyday but all I truly hope is that you are happy and healthy. I hope you are still in a good place; that you are loved and protected.

[whatsittomae]

I heard that you're happy without me

And I hope it's true

It kills me a little, that's okay 'cause I'd die for you

You know I'd still die for you

[vangoghcore]

by sky_lover_920

[tokyoproxy]

♡ louiseseascapes ♡

[anxietyproblem]

[lightheartedsuggestion]

Stop convincing yourself you’re wasting your life away. The time you’ve spent resting and healing was and is necessary. You’re not a waste of a person if you find yourself struggling right now. Healing, recovering, sitting with your pain is foundational. It’s not a waste. You are still whole.

[whatsittomae]

[nothingbutunlost-deactivated202]

Lol it's me