Uriah's Warrior.

"You just write about sex and killing yourself and how you hardly ever went to school"

[whenallisgoodwecloseoureyes]

Fuck me ive missed how weird tumblr is 😍

[iridescent-adolescent]

“dream job” bitch i don’t have one i don’t dream about being employed i dream about living in a cottage making soap and painting titties. capitalism is a nightmare

[lovecrumbss]

[theunvanquishedzims]

Werewolves are stereotyped as ravenous monsters because the transformations burn so many calories that they’re essentially starving afterwords. The more “controlled” werewolves are just the ones who figured this out and loaded up on calories beforehand, whereas the “wild” ones assume it’s part of their wolfish nature to hunt and eat whatever’s nearby.

The transformation back burns calories too, but by that point they’re exhausted from running around in the woods all night, not to mention the physical strain of two transformations. And filthy people showing up at Denny’s in the early morning are assumed to be hungover, so the ravenous beast idea is applied only to the wolf half.

[clownin-uwu]

are you suggesting people who eat at denny’s are essentially werewolves

[aridotdash]

not just essentially 

[ghost-nettle]

the smell of garlic cooking adds three years to my life and purges me of all evils, cleansing my whole soul

[bisexualr2d2]

SMALL TALK TIP FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE SMALL TALK: Ask people if they have any pets. This is light and impersonal enough to offend no one. People who have pets are usually pretty excited to talk about them and show off pictures, so there’s a good chance that you will be looking at kitties and doggos. People who don’t have pets will usually talk about the pets they wish they had, or have had in the past. People who neither have nor want pets are pretty rare.

[sadiie]

It’s a neutral topic to talk about but be prepared for the weirdest shit. I once spent an hour listening to a financial manager who kept tropical velvet earthworms

[dragon-in-a-fez]

that sounds like an excellent reason to try this strategy

[rainhann]

ok this is “earring magic ken” who was introduced in 1992 (and discontinued shortly thereafter)

basically mattel had done a survey and discovered that girls didn’t think ken was “cool” enough

SO someone had the bright idea to research coolness by sending people to raves which, at the time, were mostly hosted & attended by gay men. so they went to these raves and took notes on what the fashions were and finally landed on this outfit, mesh shirt & all 

this doll became the best selling ken doll in history, mostly because gay men bought it in droves. (many of them said his necklace was supposed to be a cockring) but mattel and a number of parents weren’t very amused and discontinued the doll 

[muffinsandmatriarchy]

OH MY GOD YOU’RE LEAVING OUT THE BEST PART

SO

MAGIC EARRING KEN. This bitch gay as HELL. supposedly the aforementioned rings on him are for “magic earrings” and clip on charms. These charms are advertised as totally COMPLETELY heterosexual, not gay at ALL, see there’s a Barbie that also has Magic Earring Action with clip on charms! Ken wears them to match, because he’s STRAIGHT

Here’s the issue: THERE IS NO MATCHING BARBIE. Magic Earring Ken is out here straight up wearing cock rings on his jacket with a thinly devised advertising ploy to make it SEEM not-gay. But it’s DEFINITELY GAY. (And if you’re thinking, why cock rings? Well way back in 1992 gay culture was HUGE on wearing cock rings, it was the in-style. Everyone who was gay wore one, even women; you sewed them to your leather jacket, and the placement indicated some of your sexual preference. In case you were wondering, Ken is a Bottom.)

AND IT GETS BETTER. Magic Earring Ken was on the shelves for six weeks before they pulled him. In that short amount of time? Magic Earring Ken became the BEST SELLING Barbie Doll Mattel has EVER SOLD. LET THAT SINK IN. SIX WEEKS. And now every time these wheezy old hetero windbag execs go to look at their sales board, they’re forever haunted by Magic Earring Ken at the top of their charts.

Gay as hell, Cock Ring Bottom Ken, the Best Selling Mattel Doll. Pride.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Our pets are the 1% of the animal world.

[kainosite]

[zooeydeschanel]

Lion (2016) dir. Garth Davis

[huglusted]

[beeandpupcat]

THE GREATEST JOKE ADVENTURE TIME HAS EVER WRITTEN

[goat-yells-at-everything]

[silver-tongues-blog]

[allieinarden]

[katielynn526]

[hayamika-deactivated20240815]

People like to make fun of animators but jokes on them…

[theinturnetexplorer]

Who wouldn’t want to sit with a baby crocodile for a bit?

[speciesofleastconcern]

crocodiles confirmed for cuter than human babies

[beggars-opera]

double confirmed

[kpfun]

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

thanks barbie

[redrahloo-deactivated20200802]

teen vogue 2k17

[did-you-know]

The first American woman to go to medical school was admitted as a joke. When Elizabeth Blackwell applied to Geneva Medical School in 1847, the students thought it was a prank- so all 150 of them voted her in. She graduated in 2 years, co-established and taught at a London women’s school, opened an infirmary for the poor, and started her own practice. Source

[theweirdwideweb]

[nevaehtyler]

[candiikismet]

Dear God in heaven

[did-you-know]

In 1949, Joseph Stalin arranged several assassination attempts on Josip Broz Tito, the Prime Minister of Yugoslavia. In response, Tito wrote Stalin a letter that said. “Stop sending people to kill me. We’ve already captured five of them, one of them with a bomb and another with a rifle… If you don’t stop sending killers, I’ll send one to Moscow, and I won’t have to send a second.” Source