Wowie. Tumblr notified me today that this blog is six years old. The setting's got so far away from me (and I haven't played since a couple months of Shadowlands) that I have to doubt I'd ever go back to WoW RP, but it was good times. Cauld was a fun character, and giving him a WoW incarnation turned out to be a blast. I made a few really special friends as a result of it -- and still have some variously amusing and embarrassing memories from it all.
It's silly, but I was admittedly pleased with the layout & pages I'd set up on this blog. Maybe I'll get around to revamping it for general use and square away the old stuff. I wouldn't mind kicking around on the good ol' hellsite again. <3
If I’m not overthinking things enough, sometimes the universe provides
this time, a person I don't know who pointedly tells me without explanation that I remind her of a bird
What? I
don't know.
Though, I didn't think I had a deficit. After all, I can think about:
My character's establishing post, as he prepared to depart from had-been-home. The subsequent convergence of two other OCs and a canon character, the former of which, after brief interaction, gradually departed the scene amid the canon character taking hours, half-days, days to post. My request for communication and/or resolution after that person complained about being stuck in a scene and unable to participate elsewhere, and the half-hearted run-on sentence of a post of their character also leaving that they wrote upon seeing it
and contend with the notion that what I set up was too boring or that I was otherwise for some reason at fault.
I’ll just accept that I’m a bird boy, tuck my head underwing, and await everything to cease before I take flight
Updated reference chart for my webcomic characters.
I’m re-re-refining my script again so I’ll be working on the comic again through 2019!
I’ve been quiet on Tumblr because it’s not been a good platform for me lately. I’m more active on Twitter: https://twitter.com/AeolianMode
There had been rumors when Cole Galloway stopped coming to school two weeks before the end of the school year.
The first that anyone heard was that Darcy Galloway had run off with one of her druggie boyfriends, and the three of them simply packed up and left overnight.
But that wasn't juicy enough. The real story - according to the lunch lady, allegedly - was that she'd finally snapped and OD'ed, but not before drowning her son.
But that wasn't grisly enough, and anyway, who drowned 13-year-olds? She'd bashed his face in, but when she saw it, it reminded her of what her husband's body looked like the night of the accident, and she couldn't live with what she'd done.
But that couldn't be right, because someone's uncle had seen Cole out sitting on the train tracks one night and chased him off, but no one had seen him since.
None of it was too surprising. He'd been a weird kid since Grade 5. Though, anyone would be, losing their dad like that. How was anyone supposed to talk to him, after what happened? What could anyone say to a classmate who even the teachers treated with delicate care, like every word they spoke to him for the rest of the year was carefully selected, then wrapped in an awkward tissue-paper lining? He didn't look as fragile as they acted like he was, but in the end it was easier just to avoid him altogether.
And then there was his mother, who seemed to believe that with enough shouting and petition-pushing and sign-waving she could change the way the mines were. It clearly hadn't made a difference, considering the explosion two years back. Unless you counted her efforts to be among the numerous fatalities. As far as anyone could tell, she just gave up after that.
Of course, there were those who claimed they saw her run up and punch the one survivor square in the jaw right after one of the TV interviews when he was out of the hospital -- not that anyone had caught it on camera, or had any other verifiable proof.
If life hadn't been difficult enough being "the kid whose dad died," that summer turned Cole into "the kid whose mom went crazy." The rumors didn't die down once the truth was out about her attempted overdose and his temporary placement into another home, but it would be months before he caught wind of those anyway.
This is apocryphal, and also doesn’t fit into a cohesive timeline, but I was inspired by a recent event. Tagging @dianadw although I suppose if Cauld was to write something like this, he wouldn’t know how to get it to her.
((With the dissolution of the Sixth Sword Accord -- a portion of Cauld’s living acquaintances -- I am posting here this small collection of Cauld’s inner thoughts and reflections as they pertained to some recent experiences.))
#1: You can’t go home again.
I've always felt guilty about how I acted the first time I saw the place where we lived in the Grizzly Hills. It wasn't the kind of home I thought we'd get when we ran away from Stormwind, and I guess then I was still thinking about what Dalaran had been like. But in the end, I didn't hate it. I probably shouldn't have complained like I did — I didn't really mind helping with the repairs. Even if it was a shitty cobweb hovel, we could have eventually got it looking nice. I think I'll miss living there, to tell the truth.
I know it looked shabby as hell, and always like it could fall in on itself any minute... come to think of it, I guess that kind of describes my dad, too. Maybe me, as well. I don't know.
I know he worried that the people there would question why we were where we were. I don't think it made a difference, but I never told him about the old lady that stopped me near the graveyard once when I was coming back from a job. Waggled her finger at me and everything, going on about how she was so sure I was up to no good, like she thought I was robbing graves or something. Bet she would've lost her shit if Rae had been there to croak at her. That would've been funny.
It doesn't matter, because here we are, running again. He introduced me to some pirates he met, and we're shipping off with them.
I hope he knows what he's doing.
#2. “I can’t explain what I mean. And even if I could, I’m not sure I’d feel like it.”
Boralus is alright.
It seems okay, I mean. I found my dad in a fucking brawl with some codpiece who was drunk off his ass, so that was.. Yeah, that was something. It apparently got us room and board for a week, so at least there's that. It doesn't sound like we'll be staying here long, but that better not be what it takes every time we need a place to stay. I'll beat the shit out of someone, I swear I will.
Sometimes I really do find myself wanting to ask someone why things just can't be normal.. but I don't even know what I mean by that.
A normal family. A normal home, a normal life.
It's better than it was. Ever since Ky found me there, it's been better than it was. Even at the worst times.
But about Boralus..
We're a world away from Stormwind here. Everything feels foreign, but maybe it's not all that bad.
We've only been here two days, but.. In a way, I'm starting to feel like maybe I'm finally free.
#3: Monsters
Everyone I know is monsters. I'm starting to realize everyone I've ever known is, in one way or another. Or, rather, that everyone is.
I wonder what kind of monster I'll be.
I think I saw a glimpse of it once, but.. I don't like to think about that. ..Well, that part of what happened, anyway. Light knows I still think about the rest of it...
But, uhh..
Monsters. Right.
If everyone's a monster, maybe the only thing that makes a difference is what you decide to do about it. Maybe it's if you apologize, but.. I don't know. That never actually changes anything.
My dad still wouldn't know he's a worgen, if they hadn't made me tell him. Maybe it wouldn't have happened again that night he disappeared, if not for that. Maybe. I just know he sure as shit wouldn't be worrying now about it happening again.
I think for him, he's turned it into an excuse to hate himself. Evelyne's like that too, in some ways. She was ready to just turn herself over to those paladins, like she didn't think there was anything about her worth saving.
The monsters like Shaw, I think they embrace being monsters. Who wouldn't, with that kind of power? To never be downtrodden, to never feel helpless..
They’re not right, but are they completely wrong?
What about these pirates? I don't know anything about them yet.
Then there's the ones that refuse to admit they're monsters, and some people never see through it.
When that elf grabbed me, and tried to drag me back to Stormwind..
Piss, it still bothers me that he tracked me down here. Wasn't even three days.
I got to thinking about how I could've just gone with her, and what I could've done to make sure I'd be free of him for good. For real this time, and not to let him stop me. Wouldn't have to feel like I'm running away, if there's no one hunting me.
And then I thought..
She said he paid a fortune to bring me back. I started thinking, what if it's because he actually, really, wants me back? If he handed over that much, it had to mean he cared. What if it meant things would be different? That it would be better. That I'd have a home, and not just failed attempts at living somewhere. That I wouldn't feel like this all the time.
That’s bullshit. Like there's anything he could do to make up for the shit he put me through.
.. I'm disgusted that I thought it at all.
I might not have a home, but my dad's the only family I need.
#4: What the shit?
What the fuck? I knew he'd been acting weird.
#5: Inadequate
Reichart is alright, I guess. Maybe I shouldn't have called him what I did. We're fortunate he was there when he was. I don't know what would have happened if he hadn't been there that one time. Maybe I shouldn't have been being useless.
I still feel weird about this. I guess I knew, but.. maybe I didn't want it to be true. Maybe I'm selfish.
But Ky's my dad. It's good that they have each other and all, but..
What if he stops caring about me?
#6: Death
I tried to kill Reichart.
I tried to kill Reichart.
I was trying to protect both of them, but then my mind filled with so much anger and hate. He needed help. I know I meant to stop it before it could swing another tentacle at him, but..
I think the worst part is knowing, even now, that some of what that thing whispered in my head.. was true.
No. The worst part is that when I heard it, I wanted to kill him.
Dianara said.. she was impressed by my death magic. I don't understand, I don't know what she meant by that. I only channeled the arcane. I didn't conjure anything else. I didn't want to cast anything at all, but then I thought that was the way to stop it.
She did mention the dead bodies in the sea.. it had to be from those.
I want to say she was just mistaken, but I saw how much it fucked up Reichart's face.
I don't know what to do. Ky didn't want me there, because he was afraid he might hurt me. He's going to hate me for this.
The old man was right. It is my fault people get rid of me.
I feel like throwing myself off this ship.
#8: Suffer
I need to talk to Dianara.
I thought I would last night, but I.. I don't know, I couldn't. And then she asked me if I wanted to help her look for books, and.. well, I didn't feel like doing that either.
Probably should have. It couldn't have gone worse than what did end up happening. I'd forgot I had something I was supposed to drop off. I wasn't going to wake Ky up.. if he was asleep — note to self, don't ever try going in there again — so I just went alone.
Didn't think there'd be anyone around. Or that.. ..yeah.
Ugh.. I feel like shit.
At least I stopped dry heaving by the time I got back to the Octopus. Wouldn't have wanted to explain that to anyone.
I'm sore all over. Feels like even my blood hurts. Whatever's left of it, I guess.
Ugh. I look like shit, too. Maybe Ky won't notice. He definitely can't know what happened.
#9: Worthless
Someone woke me up and told me he was okay, that they had found a healer for him. I think I heard him out there arguing with someone, so I guess he is.
I don't remember the trip back, but I wish I hadn't gone.
He never needed me.
Dianara told me I had to stay ahead of him, and that it was up to me to protect him. Told me what to say to the tidepriest when we got down there. I don't know what it was, but I memorized it just the way she said.
Not that it mattered.
Just when I was going to do it, suddenly he was just walking right out into the open in front of me. It didn't even matter, because he called out to the tidepriest himself and right away the guy was acting like they were long lost friends.
I thought I was going to collapse while we were walking back. Why do I still feel so weak?
I saw him get thrown back by his magic when everyone was fighting that squidface, and I tried to help him -- hell, even Reichart got onto me the other day for not helping him -- but then.. well, that happened, and he just went tearing off.
Then he got hurt, and I just.. I can't even remember. I couldn't do shit. I don't even know how we got back. I remember my stomach twisting, and trying to puke again. It still hurts.Someone must have brought me here, but I hope no one made a fuss over it. I hope they didn't tell.
I can't do anything. What's the use. I'm either in the way and failing to protect anyone, or I'm trying and I'm just hurting someone who I'm supposed to care about.
I'm worthless. I really fucking am.
What have I ever done but cause him trouble and worry that he doesn't need? All I ever do is make things more difficult for him.
