Our Next Adventure

Wife. Lesbian. Portland. TTC. Instagram: MindeeJo

[whenistandontiptoe]

This is my first cycle back since having the polyps removed-

Today was the midcycle ultrasound- no bueno. Biggest follicle was only measuring at a 10, so I go back Thursday in hopes that it’s continued to grow.

I started this cycle so optimistic, and hopeful. Feeling like THIS is the one. I mean, polyps removed, uterus scraped, tubes cleared. Like how much more pristine could my uterus be? (Haha)

But nowww the last couple days I’ve just been filled with horrible what ifs.

What if I get more polyps? What if the polyps weren’t the root of the problem? What if we still can’t get pregnant? What if we blow through these next 3 tries?

I know I can’t get in my head about this stuff. It’ll all work out. I just hate knowing this is all out of my control.

[whenistandontiptoe]

It’s started.

I haven’t openly announced to my family that we’re trying to have a baby- but it’s also not a secret. It’s something that’s discussed a lot within my close family (mom, dad, sisters) I guess I just don’t see extended family enough to care to loop them in.

Anyways.

My grandma called me today, to tell me that my mom told her we’re trying to get pregnant. So she has a new co sleeper, baby swing, and something else (I forgot already) for us to store until we are successful. 🤣 She is very excited.

Not even pregnant, and the baby gifts have already started coming.

[whenistandontiptoe]

I need to start making notes and writing shit down before I go to the doctors.

I had an appointment today for a leg injury, and my (6 years and counting) special headaches.

I get so weird and nervous that my brain goes blank, she asks me questions and I suddenly can’t recall anything, and I sound like a moron.

Granted, I got the outcome I wanted, I still feel embarrassed. 🤦🏼‍♀️

[whenistandontiptoe]

Well, well, well.

Little life update.

We had to put trying to get pregnant on hold, until I got this uterine polyp situation addressed.

Luckily I have a great care team, and I was able to get into surgery relatively quickly. So today I had surgery to remove the polyp, and while in there she found even more polyps. Ughhhh. She didn’t clarify how many, just said multiple. BUT SHE GOT THEM.

I’m so excited to move on with our baby journey. I feel like we’re starting fresh. 🎉

In other news....

-My Birthday was last week, I’m 31. 👵🏻

-My bff and I had girls weekend in Seattle for circus, and I started learning a new move on German wheel and in flying trapeze. My new flying trapeze trick involves a flip to a catch and I’m STOKED. It’s not catchable yet, but I feel like I made good progress.

-My wife and I reserved one of those Getaway houses that are plastered all over Facebook and Instagram. 😆 I gave in to the ultra trendy. But it looks so cute! So we’re headed up tomorrow.

-Oh, and I can’t forget that I went a little wild post anesthesia and bought a new camera online today. 🤣🤣 I went and picked it up before Best Buy closed, but it felt impulsive, and I’m so excited about it. I’ve needed a new camera for a couple years now, and this is exactly what I’ve wanted. Only difference is I’ve always used Canon, and this is Nikon, so there’s a bit of a learning curve for me now.

Anywhoooo.

Thanks for catching up with me guys! 💜

[whenistandontiptoe]

Well, well, well.

HSG Test was awwwfullll.

But at least we have some answers.

Right tube, totally clear.

Left tube, Dr. thinks is clear.... but there was a struggle getting contrast to that side.

But— it looks like a have a polyp that’s acting as my own personal little IUD. Jerk.

Now I guess I wait for my doctor to follow up with me about what to do next.

[whenistandontiptoe]

I’m scheduled to do a HSG test on Monday.

I definitely googled it and read all the horrible things people said about how painful it can be.

Has anyone here done it?

What was your personal experience with it?

[whenistandontiptoe]

We’ve been dog sitting my sisters 8 month old golden for the last week and a half, while she’s training for a new job in Seattle.

I’m so over it.

I’m so mad at him this morning.

He decided to wake up at 2am and be ready for the day. No one could sleep.

So I stuck him in his kennel downstairs.

HE WOULD NOT STOP BARKING.

So at 3am I went and slept on the couch downstairs because that made him be quiet.

He proceeded to wake me up every 30 minutes from then on.

I get up at 5am for work. I have horrible cramps, so I refilled my hot water bottle to take with me, my hot water bottle is my saving grace. Nothing helps me, except melting my skin off. AND NOW THERES PUPPY PUNCTURE WOUNDS IN MY BOTTLE. 😭😭

And if that wasn’t enough to be on my shit list this morning.... I walked out the front door to go to work- and I caught the little jerk digging ANOTHER hole in our front yard. 😫😫

I’m so over him.

[whenistandontiptoe]

Spent Easter with my nanny kids. I love that they’ve adopted my wife and I into the family, and the little village we’ve all built.

The kids had an egg scavenger hunt, we judged a wicked deviled egg contest, and of course, I tortured my dogs with some bunny ears.

————————————

I was uncharacteristically upset this cycle when we got our BFN.

But I’ve had my 72 hours of self pity, and today I’m feeling ready to keep moving forward.

Our coordinator called and wants to schedule a new test since we’ve had 3 failed IUIs, I can’t remember what it was though. 🤷🏼‍♀️

And we ordered 3 more sperm samples.

My wife and I decided if after these 3 it’s still unsuccessful- she’s going to step up and try.

Dear god, my wife being pregnant would be so miserable. 🤣🤣 I love her.

[whenistandontiptoe]

IUI #3. Negative.

PMS has me real emotional this time around, so I’m definitely crying in my car right now. It’s cool.

[whenistandontiptoe]

What, like 8 days post IUI today?

My boobs hurt.

I woke up at 2:45am, for no reason.

I’m bloody exhausted.

The eczema on my eyelid is back today in full force.

And I feel like my period is gearing up.

Not diggin’ this Monday y’all.

Also side note:

I work from 6:30am-10pm THREE days in a row this week. (Starting today) 😭 I am sooo tired thoughhhh.

[whenistandontiptoe]

IUI #3 under our belts.

This was the smallest (by far!) sample we’ve had- only 12 million, but it only takes 1, right?

Feeling so much more crampy then I have the other two times.

Fingers crossed.

[whenistandontiptoe]

Just did my trigger shot.

Let’s do this.

[whenistandontiptoe]

IUI #2

Negative.

I know we’re early into our journey- and it’s only the 2nd IUI- but that doesn’t make me feel any less defeated and upset right now.

It sucks.

[whenistandontiptoe]

My nanny child is obsessed with my wife and it cracks me up.

She’s decided that every day she needs to FaceTime my wife, Lauren, at lunch time. So while I cook lunch, they have girl talk. (My nanny girl is 2.5 y/o).

Lauren is the best sport ever, because she’s equally obsessed with Lily. They’re best friends.

[whenistandontiptoe]

Take Two.

Took a mini break there for a minute. I was so annoyed with my cycle, I didn’t want to update anything. What did I say last? That I was feeling defeated, and I had started my period early?  Yeah, that was wrong, I spoke too soon- instead my body surprised me with some weird spotting. Last cycle- I literally went in for an ultrasound every single week, I got false positive ovulation tests, and then we MISSED actual ovulation. I felt so frustrated with my body.  Well. After WAY TOO LONG. (58 days, if we’re counting.) AF finally came.  So here we are now. Cycle number 3.

I went in for a baseline ultrasound, and started letrozole. Went in yesterday for a midcycle ultrasound and was just crossing my fingers that SOMETHING was growing, ANYTHING. I would have taken the tiniest follicle as a plus sign after last cycles bullshit. Hello little follicle, measuring a whopping 23! Which is obviously huge, so they did blood work to see if I had started to ovulate. Also positive! Whoo!! SOOOO TODAYYYY. We had our second IUI.  I’m psyched. Just so excited that things happened the way they were suppose to this time. 

[whenistandontiptoe]

This cycle just isn’t going to plan.

Two mid cycle ultrasounds, letrozole, and now.....

I started my period.

Early, in fact.

The irony in this, is, earlier today I was on the phone with my mom and I told her I didn’t feel good about this cycle and I wish I’d just start my period so we could start new.

I feel weirdly relieved-

But also bummed because this concludes that I don’t ovulate every month.

Mixed feelings y’all.

Here’s to the next cycle. 🥂

[whenistandontiptoe]

What a bummer.

Last weeks mid cycle ultrasound was a bust- biggest follicle was measuring at 7. Right?

So, today, we’re cycle day 30(!!) and we had another ultrasound- damn follicle is only measuring at 8.

So instead of waiting until next cycle to try letrozole- guess who is starting it today?

What the hell man. 😫

We’re pretending today is cycle day 3- and I’ll take it for the next 5 days, and go back in for a 3rd ultrasound on the 29th.