Post-Trans?
I just submitted to a call for work for a show called “Post-Gay?” put on by the Boston LBGTQIA Artists Alliance. In the aftermath of same-sex marriage and transgender prominence among others, “Post-Gay?” discusses how Boston queer artists “respond to this visibility and consider ways they are investigating, celebrating or criticizing these changes. Where does growing mainstream acceptance leave more marginalized queer identities, and how do the myriad of LGBTQIA identities conceptualize themselves in the face of shifting cultural opinion?” Writing about my work in this way kind of forced my mind to bend in ways that it hadn’t bent before, so it really threw me for a spin. It was overwhelming actually. I felt so moved by my reflections that I wanted to share them.
My work features many different aspects of identity. As a transgender individual, I have a unique relationship with my gender identity in that it evolves and changes. For me, the question is, are we “Post-Trans?” As transitioning is currently a hot topic, my gender identity in my work could be seen as trendy and irrelevant.
I started my medical transition from female to male five years ago, when I started testosterone. My earlier work between 2011 and 2013 focused on my relationship with my own body; it consisted of nude self-portraits with my breasts, which was how I handled my discomfort. In June of 2013 I underwent top surgery. I created a small series of work titled Post-Op that documented the recovery process for top surgery, an excerpt featured in Four Hours. The Post-Op Series deals directly with identity and visibility by confronting a personal aspect of transitioning. For me, Post-Op was the conclusion of that direct relationship.
In between Post-Op and my later work, I created a video appropriation (Like A Man, mid-2014) directly discussing breaking the barriers of masculinity. During that time I was struggling with how I balanced my femininity and masculinity in terms of how I was perceived externally. I still had insecurities, including the social aspects of the aftermath of transitioning. Yes, I was viewed as male but I was commonly mistaken for a gay male due to my stereotypical feminine mannerisms, which only furthered my insecurities and discomfort.
Between Like A Man and my next body of work, I moved to a new social environment where my peers didn't know of my transition, it was up to my disclosure. My work took a turn towards the passive.
Fast forward to late 2014 when I started work on combining a sculptural narrative into my photography. I wasn't thinking about masculinity at the time, but comparing Post-Op to these fantasy forms show an unintentional move towards identity in the realm of Post-Trans. The images from Bond Series realize a fantasy of James Bond, an iconic masculine form. While more subtle, the assertive portrayal of masculinity is present.
Following through to mid-2015 when I completed my American BBQ series, which featured me in a more mainstream and indirect masculine form. In the Unite States, barbecue is viewed as masculine cooking but it's still more passive than James Bond, for example. American BBQ shows an even further development with my Post-Trans relationship in terms of my confidence in myself in that my commentary on masculinity happened naturally. All of my work since transitioning has served as a way to counteract trans-masculine erasure in popular culture. We have trans-feminine icons such as Laverne Cox and Caitlyn Jenner, but not so much with trans-masculine icons.