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Hair grow long like chia
High protein pancakes I made the other day
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short stories of a gay man
(The story on how I finally got a car at thirty two years old)
It had been a few months since we started talking online. I wanted to ask you on a date but the problem was I didn't have a car. I was embarrassed that I had my license but I had never had a car. The first time you asked me to meet you was after I was out all day during pride and I had already been drinking. Obviously I took the bus to that pizza parlor where you were. I always mentioned to you how much I loved public transportation and that was the reason why I used it instead of driving. The truth is I didn't have a car but I do love public transportation. I kept wanting to see you but I was ashamed to say I didn't have a car. Tired of feeling useless and wanting to see you, one day I decided to go to the dealership to buy a car. Mind you never in my life had I been to a dealership or knew anything about buying cars. So I went in there and said I'm here to buy a car show me the one I can afford. And within thirty minutes I was ready to sign documents on my new used car. In my head I was already making plans on taking you out on so many dates and take you anywhere you needed to go. In my head I knew you were going to like me more and think I was cool for having a car in this city. In my head I was already planning our wedding.
recently ive been really scared of being forgotten. and i wonder if thats like a type of mental disorder. i get anxious when i think about all the friends and people i met and have known and how 90% of the time we dont talk or reach out as we used to. most of the friends i have live so far 365 miles away and texting and social media can get a little tiring mostly social media. i dont wanna be on instagram or tik tok a lot its draining me but at the same time i wanna stay in touch with friends. i hate that i cant just hit them up and hang out in person. as someone who is 35 and single i dont want to make new friends. what do you guys think?
reflecting on ten years
(i apologize for any grammatical errors i started writing this at 7 am hahaha) dec 5 2024 it's crazy to think that ten years have gone by. ten years of friendships and experiences. i wanna say that i started living my life at the beginning of 2014 when i moved to anaheim. being there was the best time of my life, i was 23 pretty much living on my own. but i felt old at that time i felt like i was a late bloomer compared to all the people around me that i was meeting that were barely turning 21 and on their own. now looking back and seeing 23 year olds now, i was a babbbyyyy. from 23-29 years old i pretty much lived the same life with different obstacles and chapters and stories in between to tell, I'm gonna bookmark this time era as part 1. i never thought my life was gonna change. my mind was set on doing the same thing forever. when 2020 happened and i was out of work and laid off from my long time "dream job" i knew it was time to tweak my life a bit and try something new this is where part 2 starts lol. if you scroll down my tumblr you can see i had a fascination with la. and it was a dream to live there. although i lived in orange county for so long i never left that little bubble and la felt so far. i wanted to live the 2016 la instagram life at the beginning of 2021 i made the big move. for three years i lived in hollywood hills let me tell you: it was the best time of my life part 2. this is where i came out of my second shell. pretty much shedding all my shells as i experience new things. i love la but i did have a few obstacles there. i didn't care because living there made up for it.
now it's been 8 months since i left la. i think about it everyday, i think about all my friends there i love it there so much. i had to move back to my hometown because i was struggling with my mental and physical health and financially i was not doing well either. obviously i'm a work in progress and my problems didn't magically disappeared but i'm slowly working on them. :)
in those 8 months that I've been back in nor cal, there has been some trial and error experiences like where i wanted to permanently live. i've decided to stay in my little bubble and where i felt more cozy and stress free. this is where part 3 starts :)
who knows where the rest of my life will take me i'm just glad im here
thank you for reading my think piece
ttyl bye
Me me me me