“The truth has teeth.”

[whereigotounloadblog]

what's your mosaic?

Some things I do because of other people:

- When I can't sleep, I'll always rub my arms because my grandma used to do it to me when I was a kid

- I never cut my hair short because when I was a kid I had really short hair and someone told me I looked like a boy

- I always tell people I love them because one time a guy told me he'd never heard his parents say it to him before

- I always hug people tightly with both arms because my mom always says that hugging someone with just one arm is a half hug, and it's worse than no hug at all

- I always make wishes when I notice it's 11:11 because my childhood best friend used to do that

- I talk and see things with my hands because that's the way my mom does it

- I drink coffee because my dad drinks coffee

- I call people 'honey' because one of my favorite TV characters does it and I thought it was sweet

- I always put my right shoe on first because my dad used to say you should always leave the house on the right foot

- I always wear silver jewelry because my mom said it looked better on me than gold jewelry

[whereigotounloadblog]

reminder

STOP MOLDING YOURSELF

TO FIT IN SOMEONE ELSE’S

WORLD

YOU ARE

AND HAVE ALWAYS BEEN

A WORLD OF YOUR OWN

[whereigotounloadblog]

today is the 2 year anniversary of our breakup

I no longer remember what holding your hand feels like

[whereigotounloadblog]

Good times are coming; let’s hold on a little longer, shall we?

The day will come when we will be able to leave our homes in peace again. 

The day will come when I can hug loved ones without fear of giving them a deadly virus. 

The day will come when I can finally go on a date again. 

It will be almost a year in March since everything became online, I miss in-person classes, I miss going to work, I miss not wearing a mask, I miss being so close to someone you can smell even their mood. I miss being at the gym and not feeling anxiety when someone is too close to me. I miss laughing with a group of people bigger than 3. I miss traveling. 

I miss the world not being at war with something it can’t even see.

Imagine what everything will be like when this is all over.

Imagine how amazing it will be to get on a plane again, to not wear a mask, to not feel the need to stand 6 feet away from any living thing around you. The world will explode with joy. 

There will be parties, raves, hugging, dancing, kissing and so many little things that we all took for granted when we had them.

Good times are coming, let’s hold on a little longer, shall we?

[whereigotounloadblog]

Things I’m grateful for today

- a hot shower

- a hug from my mom

- freshly washed sheets + shaved legs

- I am healthy

- the sunset today

- forehead kisses

- made someone else smile today

- I have the next week off school to relax

[ashstfu]

must i pursue a career? is it not enough to be obsessed with classic literature, books museums and old records?

[whereigotounloadblog]

i long for the day where i stop seeing you everywhere

You

With your golden locks and deep green eyes

One look in my direction and I drown in my own waters

Eyes like yours cause chaos among the most calm of seas

You

It’s time for me to look away

Just one final peek

But I’m locked in your eyes, again

You

Will I ever stop longing your presence?

[whereigotounloadblog]

Funny how I didn’t know how I felt until I started writing it down.

- me, thoughts on a monday afternoon

[whereigotounloadblog]

“The never-ending ache of love and sorrow. Perhaps in some other life I could have refused, could have torn my hair and screamed, and made him face his choice alone. But not in this one. He would sail to Troy and I would follow, even into death.”

- Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles

My favorite quote from one of my favorite books. To know a love so strong is the greatest gift you can have in life.

[whereigotounloadblog]

Single on V-Day... Again

But who cares?

Being single on Valentine’s Day might have you reaching for the bottle of wine at 10AM - but it doesn’t have to be that way! February 14th is day to celebrate love for others, but also celebrate love for yourself.

I made myself miserable for so many years, longing to have a relationship and someone who cared enough about me to buy me a box of chocolates and flowers, or simply take me out on a nice dinner. I would scroll through social media and realize just how alone I was, just from seeing everyone’s post with their SO. 

But in reality, I am nowhere close to being alone! I have a loving family, the most amazing friends, the occasional friend that I can call for when I’m feeling lonely (if you know what I mean), and I have myself! 

I always thought I needed a special someone by my side to be able to enjoy this beautiful thing called life. One day I stopped, and realized that all I truly need is a good relationship with myself. Cliché, I know, but it’s the truth! 

How do you plan on loving someone with such strength that it hurts to even breathe, if you refuse to give yourself just the same amount of love? A ride or die love until your bones ache is what I want. I will not settle for anything less, because I deserve the best. It’s coming today? Great! Tomorrow? That works too. In 10 years from now? I’ll wait!

Happy Valentine’s day to all my single gals out there. Take yourself out for dinner, but yourself flowers, and invest on a good vibrator! Good things will come when they’re ready!

[majoalmighty]

i knew what i wrote was real when it scared me to write it

[quotemadness]

I write to find out what I’m thinking.

Julia Alvarez  (via quotemadness)

[whereigotounloadblog]

Things I’m grateful for, today

- my morning coffee

- I woke up in time for work

- the beautiful snow outside (though I won’t feel grateful for it once I have to actually start driving)

- my mom called me this morning to ask how my day was

- I was stressed out about school last night, and one of my friends sent me a free coffee this morning

- my hair looks pretty today

- my skin is clear

- I have a stable job that allows me to rent my own place and have my own life

- my dog licked my face to gently wake me up this morning

- I get to hit the gym today and have a killer workout

[whereigotounloadblog]

Stop procrastinating!!!

February 1st was such a bust. Allow me to explain.

I had a great weekend. I did absolutely nothing - which is essentially what weekends are for. But not when you’re a full-time student and full-time worker. This weekend I allowed myself to forget everything I had to do for Monday night and ignore the hell out of it (I’m slightly notorious for ignoring all problems until I have to deal with them, sorry, I’m a Libra). Monday comes around, and I worked all day at my 9-5 from home (thanks covid), and then came to the realization that I had 6 coffees all day, nothing to eat, and still had a project and 5 small assignments due at midnight.

I came to this realization at 5PM.

So I spent the next 7 hours glued to my desk, working away. I finished everything 2 minutes before midnight (the time it was due).

Moral of the story: stop procrastinating! It might feel good in the moment, but it won’t feel good the night when everything, and I mean everything, it due, and you have to rush through all your projects so you won’t get a 0. Because a low mark is better than no mark.

Plan your days. Time manage. Get it done!!!!

[whereigotounloadblog]

Note to self!

February 1st is here. Thank goodness. Did this month feel like 10 years for anyone else?

Something stood out to me today. I was on Tik Tok (as we all usually are at 2AM on a school night), and a girl posted this video saying “your future self is probably thinking about you.” Crazy, huh? Ever since I was a kid I would do this thing where I would think of what my life would be like in a year from now, and how in a year from now, I would also be saying the same thing to the next me in two years.

Why do we spend our days thinking of what we will be like in the future? Will I be as successful as I always imagined myself to be? Will I meet that person that will want to spend the rest of their days with me? Why not think of the now? Are we so deeply unsatisfied with our current role in life that we hope for tomorrow to save us?

[whereigotounloadblog]

New year, New me

Cliché, huh?

If this was 2020, I would have apologized right after saying that. Good thing it’s 2021, right? Non-apologetic all the way!

I know I’m about 9 days late to starting this ‘blog’ (though not sure if it qualifies as a blog since I will mostly be writing about nothing, while writing about everything at the same time). My no. 1 new years resolution is to start writing out my thoughts and feelings somewhere. I’m notorious for seeing existing problems and issues as a moo point - friends fans, you know what I mean. If you’re not a friends fan, who hurt you?

I get side tracked a lot, but my point is, 2020 impacted my mental health like never before. It creeped up on me so slowly that I didn’t see my social skills and ability to communicate my own feelings deteriorating as the year went on. In 2021, that is over.

Sometimes we just need a place to unload, and this is what it will be for me. Will I be sharing too much? Probably. But hey, sorry not sorry?