Aenyell'hael

[mothercain-deactivated20231124]

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This happy feeling will fade away, And that is liberation.

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Astronomy in Australia

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The Paradox of the Journal

The Paradox of the journal, Is that it exists between worlds; It is not of the world of litriture, It is not of the world of the experiential, It is not of the world of the everyday, It is not of the world of the transcendent.

I think, I think I must write to record, My health throughout the day, When I sleep, When I feel lost, When my focus medication enters my bloodstream and exits. How my focus meditation makes me feel, I think I must write to record.

I feel that when I write, For the purpose of recording my health, I bring only suffering.

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My image of the Kiss is that it can't exist with just one Being

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It is only suffering once you know there's a cure

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Why I read Plato's Republic (And Where it Sits on My Bookshelf)

I am reading the Republic; This is a book I am not particularly drawn to, at least not in the sense of having a strong desire to keep reading the next page, but I am reading it out of philosophical duty, as a task that I must undertake at some point, and why not now? This is not to say I don't enjoy reading it. On the contrary I find much of Plato's thought on what a State should thought provoking, albeit quite archaic. As an example I don't recognize as a legitimate political necessity the censure ship of all poetry that depicts hero's as having 'ill', or bad emotions/ control of the spirit (Hamlet is by far one of the standout works in my consciousness), but I am fascinated by both the allusions to Greek cultural poetry and by the arguments as to the effect they have on youth. When I sit down to rest, such as I had intended now, I don’t pick up Republic to get lost in another place distant from that my body and self inhabit. I pick it up late at night, or on the train, or in other places when waiting, to just get a little more read, and get a little closer to rounding out my philosophical education. On the other hand, I have on my kindle; Reveries of a Solitary Walker (multiple translations; I shall come back to this anxiety); A Room with a View; Old Path, White Clouds; The Epic of Gilgamesh; and the God of Small Things (Note these are the books with possibility left in them, not those I have read or otherwise archived). The Choice of what to read is one fraught anxiety of the infinite. I wonder what I will be drawn to read next.

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I still have this on my wall, a portrait of high school me, complete with a blue jumper, courtesy of my old friend and wonderful artist Julia.

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I found this very old writing when moving around my room. It's not dated, but I believe it is from before 2013. I was a wise child.

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The Day seems Long, and Full of Moments

Not all days feel like this. Maybe more accurately, no day feels like this in retrospect, having this quality of sitting on the edge of the truth of historicality and the open call of infinity that is the future. As I can never be in two days at the same time, it is hard to compare.

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The Task - Building Ones Subjective Foundations of Knowledge Anew

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Moment of Peace

There is now NOW in the online world. The online space is only motion, pixels, electrons, bytes, messages. If you Freeze Time, all you are left with is a blank screen, a nothingness where you desire something to be.

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Need five voice actors of any age/gender + Some music + podcast help!

Hello all.

Over the past couple months, I’ve been working on an audio anthology project, similar to a Twilight-Zone-esque podcast. The first two episodes are in the bag, and I’ve just finished the script for the third episode.

I’m looking for people! First off, several voice actors:

The  genders and ages of the following characters are not super important,  and current names/genders are just there as place-holders. Audition deadline - October 16th Please  send auditions/samples to [email protected] (if you  have a  portfolio you would like to send, please feel free to). These  are just audition lines, so I don’t mind the format. Please do save as   “Yourname_audition_linex” The episode revolves around three  truckers and the owner of a truck stop as they attempt to figure out  what it means that one of them has been followed by a raven overheard  for almost 200 miles. KEVIN Kevin is a trucker who has been on  the road for 16 hours straight. He is exhausted - he is not a  professional and does not seem used to the hours, despite the fact he’s  been doing the job for years. Although Kevin has done nothing wrong, he  feels a strange, heavy sense of guilt weighing down on him almost  constantly. It is almost as if his tiredness is more reflective of his  moral state than his physical one. AUDITION LINE ONE: “The last time I did sleep, though, I had this dream… It’s strange because it – well, because it’s not that strange, I guess. It doesn’t feel like a dream, it feels like a memory that didn’t happen. It’s not surreal, and it’s not foggy. It’s just… Far away.” LINE  TWO: “It’s like, you look away for an instant, and you look back, and  so much time has passed. You look down at your hands and you feel like  you’ve aged a year. Then you look back up at the road and you don’t know  where you are anymore” DWIGHT An older, down-to-business  trucker who wants to hear stories and chat before he has to head out. He  doesn’t mince words much and although he’s friendly he’s not one to  dwell on a conversation he’s bored with. AUDITION LINE: “Worst  that ever happened to me? Couldn’t tell ya, I tend not to dwell on it.  Saw someone with a chicken in the passenger seat the other day though.  Didn’t look happy to be there” EARL Earl is a friendly  trucker, mainly there to listen. He’s a professional and isn’t phased by  much, and mainly wants to have a chilled out time when he’s off work.  Not one for confrontation and lets lots of things slide. AUDITION  LINE: “You ain’t seen Duel? Really? Spielberg flick? Look, no worries! I  just figure being a trucker, it’s a… Pertinent film, is all” JARED Jared  is a strange individual. They speak quickly and often regurgitates  swathes of information without so much as a moment to think. Jared has a  particular interest - some would say obsession - with birds, and a  complete lack of understanding in social ques. AUDITION LINE 1: “Magpies liking shiny objects, my God. It’s demeaning to insinuate that one of the few animals in the world able to recognise itself in a mirror, with a nidopallium comparable in terms of relative size to a chimp’s neocortex, would be fascinated by glitter.” AUDITION LINE 2: “Yes, magpies really are that smart… It’s why they’re mean.” SUSAN The  calm, friendly owner of the truck stop. They usually keep to themself,  but are taken with the situation and feel the need to engage from  time-to-time. They want to help, but more than that, they want tounderstand what’s going on. AUDITION LINE 1: “Well, you certainly know more about birds than you do about people. Working  here all my life I feel like I’ve seen the world second-hand through  half-remembered stories. I guess that means I do have a pretty funny  view of the world” Mostly, I would like to see how you  interpret these lines. However much direction I give you’re really going  to be forming the way this person speaks more than  me. That said, if  you have any questions or want any tips, please don’t  hesitate to ask.                              

If you’re a VA or know any, please do get in touch. If you don’t like the sound of this episode but are interested in collaborating in the future feel free to also get in touch.

Secondly, I am looking for music. So far each episode ends with a track by a musician I’ve contacted on Tumblr. So far the first two episodes feature the wonderful music of @sloth-hooks and @vickisigh. For the third episode, I need:

Outro music for the episode: Something preferably not too loud or boisterous. Slow, quiet and somewhat dark in tone fits the bill quite well.

I also need music for when one of the characters describes a dream they had. This music should be somewhat ethereal, and a little melancholy - maybe bittersweet is a better term?

If you have songs in mind or would like to just make me aware of your work so I can peruse, shoot me a message!

If ya have any idea about how to best promote/spread the word on this thing I’d also appreciate it.

I also need to name this thing, which I’ve honestly been struggling with a while.

Again, direct messages sent via tumblr as well as at [email protected] please! Reblogs to spread the word much obliged

Thank you all again for all the support

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This is an opportunity to engage with a new community that I want to take up. Community is one of my most important values; It was only last week in discourse that I discovered that. I desire to move towards auditioning for a volunteer voice actor role. (Aside: Oh how I miss theatre. I wonder if I have the courage to upload 'An Actor's Nightmare', to here?

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Bleeding into Infinity

Why am I drawn to wrestle with infinity? What is it that draws me to look outside, My experiential cage, My Absolute Being in the Present, Dasein, Now, What IS and all that is IS... .... What causes me to look out? Towards Future happenstance? Why does the Merchant gain a Debt of Flesh Which he says he can pay back when his ships return? But the ships don't return, But I cannot answer why he thinks they would. If I leave this poem without an end.... Bleeding into Infinity, 'We must stop it!' Is the cry.

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A Poem: A Struggle With Infinity

Infinity lears, As a monster we must avoid, I make plans, To Ensure a Profitable ending; The Merchant assess the risks, Of sending his goods by ships over the sea, He makes plans based on their safe return, But how can one plan for the infinity of happenstance. The Future is a void, Who eats infinity, Do we make friends with him? For some strange reason we must, But there seems no sense it in. If we wrestle with infinity, With what form do we twist and turn?

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This is what I learnt today.