INTRO POST
Weird Fanfiction Writer|He/Him|21|Certified Boy Kisser|Frank Iero Lover|Petekey Believer
MINORS DNI
Requests and asks are welcomed and encouraged!
Ao3: SoorPloomCowboy
Masterlist
Main Blog
AI Use Statement (I do not use AI)
🪼

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Fai_Ryy
No title available
occasionally subtle
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
KIROKAZE
Glass Animals
h
Cosmic Funnies

shark vs the universe
Game of Thrones Daily

titsay
d e v o n
EXPECTATIONS

TANKHALL
Noah Kahan
YOU ARE THE REASON

pixel skylines

Love Begins

seen from Brazil

seen from United States

seen from Philippines
seen from United States

seen from Brazil

seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from Germany
seen from United States

seen from Colombia
seen from Brazil
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Ecuador
seen from Mexico
seen from Venezuela
seen from Ecuador
seen from Colombia

seen from United States
seen from South Africa
seen from United States
@whereisyourb0yt0night
INTRO POST
Weird Fanfiction Writer|He/Him|21|Certified Boy Kisser|Frank Iero Lover|Petekey Believer
MINORS DNI
Requests and asks are welcomed and encouraged!
Ao3: SoorPloomCowboy
Masterlist
Main Blog
AI Use Statement (I do not use AI)
But I’m A Cheerleader! (Chapter 8)
illi mcmillin x female reader
tags - high school, lesbians!!!!!!, slow burn(ish), mikey bonding time!!, lowkey filler episode (and that's okay !), mikey x reader friendship :D, reader lowkey suffering (a necessary evil)
content - An unlikely new friendship in-bloom makes the return to school slightly less daunting
4k words
Brother - 8/17
Homecoming came to you like a strange, surreal dream; a blur of hazy, illuminated bodies, and dark, viscous blood-drenched petticoats. In the days following, the concept of time became a distant memory to you; you didn't sleep, didn't eat, didn't talk to anyone, instead you spent hours writhing in your bed and scrawling in your diary, accompanied by the ambient noise of late-night MTV and your phone ringing intermittently. Missed calls from Lacey, Andy, Hayley, and even Pete racked up as the days melted together. You spent most of the daylight hours lying on top of your bed, staring up at the ceiling as the fan wafted a slight breeze towards you, it's gentle humming the only sound in the room. Guilt and disgust burrowed through you like a rodent making it's nest, weighing heavily as it settled in your stomach. You dragged yourself out of bed and over to your vanity, brushing your hair for the first time in days. A gaunt, sunken-eyed face gazed back at you as you worked through the knots. "What have you done?" you sighed.
Despite all your spiralling and endless contemplating, by the time Monday rolled around your mind was no clearer; in fact it felt foggier than ever, and was now looming with dark clouds foreboding social interaction and reputations to be upheld. In all your years, the drive to school that morning was the most dread-filled, even more so than when you sat your SATs. At least you wouldn't actually be at school, you thought. Today was your history field trip, meaning you and a handful of your classmates would be visiting the National War Museum just outside the city. As though the hum-drum rattle of life was not already echoing in your head, you had to endure four hours at some boring World War II exhibit. "Heaven help me," you muttered, getting out of your car and trudging to class for registration.
You slumped down at your usual seat, the glints of bright, burning sunlight peaking through the blinds giving you a headache already. Ms Danzig was fluttering around the room trying to get everything in order as the last few of your classmates filed in. Mikey flopped down on the seat beside you, tapping away on his phone at record speed, as you rested your head on the desk. You muffled a "Here" in response to Ms Danzig as she took registration, before heaving yourself out of your seat, your class making their way down to the mini-bus. Your feet hauled your sluggish, heavy body down the corridor, loud steps thumping out from underfoot as you trudged towards the exit.
You pulled a pair of sunglasses on as you traipsed out the door into the car park. Ms Danzig led you all towards the small, dark blue bus parked just outside the gates, motioning back to the dozen of you in attendance to hurry up as she juggled her coffee, a clipboard, and a stack of crumpled papers. "Just to be safe!" she smiled, taking registration once more before you boarded, just in case she'd lost one of you on the two minute walk outside. Each of you filed on, with you at the back of the queue, the sun making your eyes ache and sweat bead on your brow as you waited. "Looking forward to the trip?" Ms Danzig asked, her curly, auburn hair gleaming under the sunshine as she cocked her head at you. "I could just about die of excitement," you replied, monotone as a flatline, before climbing aboard.
You scanned the washed-out, yellow, cushioned seats in search of somewhere to sit. A small group of sweaty, nerdy boys, the kind of boys whose glasses were permanently smudged and wore cable-knit sweater vests, had taken up the back row and were flicking through various comics with scantily-clad, muscular women on the cover. Nina and Beth, the only other girls in the class, sat sharing a pair of earphones, with Nina reading some old, mammoth-sized book and Beth doodling in a notebook. You approached the aisle Peter, a quiet, mousey boy, was sitting in and he instantly pulled his bag onto the seat beside him before sticking his nose in a sudoku. You let out a sigh, surveying the few remaining seats, before trudging back up the walkway and planting yourself beside Mikey. "Is it cool if I sit here?" you asked, pulling your headphones from your bag. "Uh, yeah, of course," he replied shyly, looking at you over the rim of his glasses. "Cool," you answered bluntly before shoving the cable into your headphone jack and putting them in your ears.
You didn't bother to take them out or pause whatever Bikini Kill song was playing as Ms Danzig addressed the class before you set off. The screaming guitar and pounding drums continued, blocking out all around you as you drove through the city and past farmlands, the sun beaming through the window. You sat with your eyes closed for a while, your mind having not stopped running since Friday night. What the fuck were you playing at? It's not normal to do that with other girls, let alone her. Not to mention you already have a boyfriend. You were disgusted with yourself. But if you were so disgusted why did your heart race and your thighs instinctually press together when you replayed the moment?
A soft tap on the shoulder drew you out of your daydream, your eyes opening as you yanked your earbuds out and barrelled round towards the source. "What?" you snapped, brows furrowed as you looked at the boy. "S-Sorry, I was just wondering what you were listening to," Mikey looked at you with big, wet eyes, clearly taken aback at your response. "Ugh, no, Mikey, I'm sorry, I'm just not really in a good mood today," you sighed in response, offering him a meek, apologetic smile. "That's okay, I'm used to moodiness with Illi," he chuckled, smiling back at you. "How is she doing, anyway?" you asked, acting as nonchalant as possible. "She's actually really good, I mean you'd think after homecoming she'd be in a rut, but she just doesn't really seem to care," he began, gazing out the window as he spoke. "She was in a really good mood all weekend, come to think of it," he continued, shrugging his shoulders as he turned back to you. Your cheeks burned slightly as he spoke, your lips desperately trying to conceal the smirk growing on your face. "T-That's good, I mean at least she isn't letting it get to her," you replied, hoping your face wasn't exposing how smug you felt inside. "I know right! Whatever you said to her in the changing room must've really helped!" he exclaimed, both of you exchanging smiles. "Oh, I sure hope so," your cheeks were scarlet as you chuckled back, the bus pulling into the museum's parking lot.
Ms Danzig led you all off the bus, reiterating her expectations of your behaviour, and safety precautions as you made your way down to the entrance. "Most important of all, though, is that you kids have fun and learn something! I have a funny feeling you might just enjoy yourselves!" she chuckled as you collected your passes, before ushering you away to one of the many exhibits and displays dotted around. You and Mikey made your way up the steep, marble stairs to the upper floor, wandering aimlessly down the hallway before making your way into a small, dim room. A few rickety chairs were littered through the otherwise barren room, a black and white film projected onto the front wall. Mikey and you took a seat, pulling your notebooks onto your laps as you watched the grainy video. As the narrator droned on you learned about the Nazi regime, and more so it's victims. Part of the video particularly loomed on the subjugation of gay people under Hitler's rule, and how they were also imprisoned in concentration camps alongside Jewish people. Both you and Mikey squirmed through the video, laying your pens to rest as a sense of melancholy filled the room.
The fluorescent lights above your head flickered to life as the film came to a close, the old tape distorting slightly at the end. The pair of you silently gathered up your things before rising from your seats, exchanging awkward, uneasy glances as you made your way out of the room. You roamed the halls quietly, wandering in and out of exhibits and jotting down notes, before making your way to the main hall. "Wanna stop for lunch?" Mikey asked, breaking the silence which had been held for the last ten minutes. "Uh, sure," you mumbled in reply, the two of you resting against the wall beside a Spitfire replica. A more comfortable silence resumed as the two of you set up your makeshift picnic, pulling snacks and soda from your bags.
"Mikey...do you mind if I ask you something kinda, uh, personal?" you spoke quietly as the boy peeled open a tube of Pringles. "Yeah, go for it," he replied, before taking a swig of his Dr Pepper. "Okay, uh...how did you know you were gay?" you queried, cocking your head at him. "Who says I'm gay?" he chuckled, setting the can down and looking back at you. "B-But I thought...you and Pete?" you narrowed your gaze on him in confusion, feeling there was something you weren't getting. "Oh, yeah, I love Pete, but that doesn't make me gay," he replied matter-of-factly. "But, but...I am so confused," you sighed, resting your head in your hands. "What's so confusing? I'm bi," he continued on, now cocking his head back at you. "What's bi mean?" you probed further, more intrigued than confused now. "Oh, bi? Like bisexual, I like girls and boys," he answered. "Girls AND boys? I didn't even know that was an option, I figured you had to choose one or the other," you looked back at him in amazement, as though he had just shown you an entirely new, unknown world. "I don't really think you choose regardless, I think it chooses you," he chuckled, looking over the rim of his glasses at you.
"What makes you ask?" he continued, eyeing you. "I don't know, I-I guess it's just been on my mind recently, and that video...it must be hard," you replied, your voice low and morose. "Eh, not so bad when the fact you have a boyfriend is a big secret," he answered, forcing a half-hearted chuckle. You scooted closer to him, rubbing his arm gently. "I'm sorry, Mikey...He's just trying to look out for you, you know?" you whispered to him sympathetically. "I know, I just wish we could tell everyone and not be afraid," he mumbled back before you took his hand, giving it a small squeeze. "Well, you don't need to be afraid with me, I'm not judging you," you offered him a small smile. "Thank you...you know, you're actually really nice, I used to be so scared of you," he replied, laughing slightly. "What?! No way! Why?" your jaw hung agape in bemused shock, awaiting his answer. "You know, you kind of have a reputation, you, Hayley, and Lacey are like 'Mean Girls' or something...I thought you were scary! You seemed mean...and bitchy," he continued on, still chuckling. "Fuck you, Mikey!" you punched him playfully in his thin, bony arm. "Ow! Hey, I already said you're nice, don't make me take it back," he laughed, rubbing his bicep as he spoke. "Bitchy, I'll show you bitchy," you snapped back jokingly, before poking the boy in the ribs. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I was wrong!" he choked out between belly-laughs as you prodded and tickled him. "Thank you, Michael, that's all I wanted to hear!" you giggled, finally pulling away from him. As the two of you composed yourselves and caught your breath, you turned to see the entirety of the hall looking at you; elderly couples scowling and some greying, middle-aged men muttering under their breath as they located the source of the squawking filling the hall. Unfortunately for them, this only made the pair of you laugh even more.
The two of you continued eating your lunch, sharing your earbuds as you delved into your shared appreciation of Irvine Welsh novels and Real Housewives. Mikey's playlist, consisting mainly of The Smiths, Iron Maiden, and Fugazi, droned on in the background as people passed by, the amber sky outside casting thick, sharp shadows onto the cold marble beneath you as the sun began to set. "Holy shit, is that the time?!" Mikey did a double-take at his watch, his face growing a shade paler. "We needed to be at the bus, like, ten minutes ago!" he exclaimed, jumping up and cramming the surrounding empty wrappers, soda cans, and sprawled out notes into his satchel. You swiftly joined him, stuffing your own notes and water bottle into your bag. The two of you dashed towards the exit, dodging statues and displays in glass cabinets as you went, laughing. Mikey stretched out his long, slender arm towards the door, with you running out from beneath it into the parking lot, the lanky boy close behind you.
Ms Danzig stood outside the bus tapping her foot against the asphalt, her usually-cheery face now appearing pinched and stern, as the rest of your classmates waited onboard. "She's gonna be so mad at us," Mikey squeaked, finally catching up to you. "No she won't, watch this," you continued charging towards the bus, the gap between you closing. "Just follow my lead, okay?" you looked at the visibly-anxious boy, to which he nodded hesitantly back at you. "Whatever your excuse is, I do not want to hear it," she began, looking up at the skies as if for some heaven-sent strength. Let the show commence. "Ms Danzig, I am s-so sorry!" you began to wail, flinging yourself against Mikey as tears began to form on your waterline. "I-It's all my fault! M-Mikey told me not to go in!" you continued, snivelling and taking big, dramatic, deep breaths. "W-What happened? Oh, honey, come here," and just like that, her 'bad cop' act crumbled as she opened her arms to you. Mikey shot you a look of total bewilderment as you embraced Ms Danzig, with you returning him a smirk before resuming the performance of a lifetime. "I'm so sorry, M-Ms Danzig, it's my own f-fault!" you continued sobbing, urging tears from your eyes. "Mikey, what happened?" she asked him as she continued stroking your hair. "Uh, we, uh, went into one of the exhibits upstairs and it was pretty, uh, graphic, and I guess it just really got to her," he replied, surprising even himself with how quickly he came up with that. "Oh, you poor thing, let's get you on the bus, shall we?" she began guiding you up the stairs, offering you a small tissue from her pocket. "Mikey, would you mind keeping an eye on her for me, please?" she turned to the boy, looking between you and him sympathetically. "Yeah, no problem, Ms D," he replied, joining you near the back of the bus.
You gazed out of the window wistfully as Mikey sat down beside you, a few remaining tears still running down your cheek. "Okay, what the fuck?" Mikey looked at you with wide eyes, laughing slightly. "I don't know what you're talking about," you turned to face him, wiping the wet streaks from your face and smiling deviously. "Are you okay? Need a shoulder to cry on?" a grating, nasal voice spoke from behind you. Both you and Mikey turned to find it's owner, a boy named Owen who belonged to the group of sweaty, acne-ridden, muscle mommy enthusiasts stinking up the back row. "She's fine, thanks," Mikey answered before you could even open your mouth, turning back around and folding his arms. "Whatever, McMillin," Owen snarled back, slumping back into his seat. You faced Mikey, both of you exchanging baffled, slightly disgusted glances before bursting into laughter. "What a day," he sighed, the bus finally making it's way out of the parking lot.
The golden skies above began turning a silvery-blue as you drove back to school. Rain began to pour outside, each droplet rattling against the tinny bus roof and racing down the dirty windows. You watched the other cars on the highway passing by, windshield wipers doing overtime as the rubber of their tires gripped the slick, black asphalt of the road, whilst Mikey typed away on his phone. He let out a deep groan before shoving it in his pocket, and rubbed his brow. "What's up?" you asked, his frustration evident. "Ugh, nothing, it's just Illi already went home so now I need to walk in this," he huffed, motioning to the downpour outside. "I could give you a ride if you wanted," you replied, knowing their house was at least a 30 minute walk from school. "I mean, if it isn't a bother! I don't want to be a pain," he rubbed the back of his neck, all shy and awkward. "Don't be silly, Mikey! It's miserable outside, I'm not gonna let my friend walk home in that," you chuckled back at him. "Your...friend? Are we friends?" a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth at your answer. "Yeah, Mikey, we're friends," you laughed, offering him an earbud. A warmth fell over the two of you like the softest of blankets as you plugged the headphones in, both of you staring out the streaky windows and listening to your playlist as you cruised along the road.
The rain was still battering against the roof and windows as you pulled into the school's car park, which was mostly desolate with the exception of a few cars, your own and Ms Danzig's included. You all reluctantly left the dry, sheltered sanctuary of the bus, and traipsed outside into the showers. "I don't want to keep you too long, but I just wanted to say I look forward to seeing your findings from the museum today in your upcoming reports," Ms Danzig began, holding her clipboard over her head. "I will see you all on Wednesday, get home safe and get warm and dry, folks!" she smiled, waving goodbye before darting across the lot to her car. Mikey and you followed suit, swiftly making your way over to where you were parked, and climbing into the car. You shook off the rain as Mikey examined his hair in the sun visor's mirror, slicking it back and taking off his glasses to wipe them. "You look like a total vampire right now," you laughed as you cranked up the heat. "Who told you?" he whispered, a grin on his face, before pretending to bite your arm. Both of you laughed as the car heated up, with Mikey turning the radio on and flicking through stations.
You pulled out of the lot, slowly creeping down the road through the traffic, when Mikey was finally satisfied with the radio's offerings, stopping on a station playing The Smashing Pumpkins' 'Today'. "You know earlier, when you were asking me about being gay and stuff?" he began, watching people cross the road as you waited at a red light. "Uh, yeah?" you answered hesitantly, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye as you awaited the light changing. "What did you mean when you said it's been on your mind?" he continued to probe, now looking at you over the rim of his glasses. "Uh, I don't know, erm, I guess just cause of like, uh," you began, tripping over your words and stuttering. "Y'know there's you and Pete, and, uh, Frank and Jesse, I guess I'm just friends with a lot more gay, or, uh, bi people now," you continued, desperately trying to hide your burning cheeks and the sweat beading on your forehead. "Illi's gay, too, y'know," he replied casually, examining his bitten nails. "Yeah, uh, I know," you chuckled nervously in reply, wondering where this was going. "Have you ever thought about girls...like that?" he smirked, gaze narrowed on your expression. "Uh, I-I mean, doesn't everyone have thoughts like that sometimes? Not that I'm saying I do think about girls...like that, I'm just saying that sometimes things pop into your head and, uh, it's hard to get them out," you waffled on, feeling yourself digging this hole even deeper with each word, whilst Mikey just grinned at you. "What?" you cocked your head at him as you spoke, your eyes wide. "Nothing! Just interesting, that's all," he chuckled, a knowing look in his eye. "You and Frank are the exact same, I'm telling you! We had pretty much this exact conversation not long ago!" you exclaimed, finally pulling up outside the Way household.
"I think Frank and I will be having a little conversation if that's the case," he replied, unbuckling his seatbelt. You shook your head at him, a small scowl playing upon your face as you watched him gather his things. "Nothing bad, I promise," he laughed, offering you his pinky. You took his finger, wrapping your own around it and giving him a stern look, making him laugh even more. "Thanks a lot for the ride, I appreciate it," he smiled at you, pushing the door open. "Don't worry about it, I had a lot of fun today, even if we were in a museum," you answered, smiling back at him. "Me too...Well, I guess this is goodbye," he continued, getting out of the car. "I'll see you around, Mikey...tell Illi I said hi," you replied, waving him goodbye.
He began making his way up the path to the front door, the rain lashing against his hoodie and darkening his jeans, as you got ready to set back off. Suddenly you stalled the car, rolling down your window and calling out to him. "Mikey! Hold on!" you shouted, making him turn and run back to the car. "Yeah? What's up?" he crouched down to the window, glasses speckled with raindrops. "Uh, next weekend I'm having a Halloween party, if you and Illi wanted to come? I already asked Frank but you know how forgetful he is," you asked, trying to appear nonchalant. "Are you kidding? Me and Illi love Halloween! Usually we just stay in and watch movies together but a party sounds fun, we'll be there!" he beamed, wiping his soaked fringe from his eyes. "Sick, I'll see you there! You better be in costume!" you replied, pulling back onto the road and beeping goodbye to him. You watched him race up the path to the door, no doubt soaked to the bone, and laughed as you drove away.
Today hadn't been so bad, you supposed, even with the downpour, which continued pummelling down as you drove, and the boringness of the museum, which was surprisingly more interesting than you'd expected. Mikey made it a lot better, you thought, chuckling to yourself as you were reminded of him trying on an army uniform in one of the exhibits, and how he'd looked like a kid wearing his dad's clothes. He was a nice boy, you thought, as your car lugged down the road. However, your conversation in the car made you wonder what he knew, and what he had to talk to Frank about. Nonetheless, you hoped that he and Illi would be in attendance next Saturday at the party.
Soon the rain stopped, and as you drove through the windy roads of your cul-de-sac and into your driveway, a rainbow appeared amongst the gloomy clouds. You got out and locked the car, before standing and admiring the display of colour hidden within the endless grey of the sky, savouring how the cool, brisk wind felt upon your face. "Everything's gonna be just fine," you assured yourself, your voice silenced by the breeze, and you headed into your house.
ILLI NATION!!!
FINALLY.
A MIKEY CENTRIC CHAPTER!!!!!
My darling @yourladyofs0rr0ws is burning through this fanfic, so you all better read it fast to claim your spot as an og But I’m A Cheerleader fan!!!
A lot of hard work and brain power goes into writing such a great fic for you all, I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do when I hear the updates
Happy reading illi nation!
Vampire frerard fic has made it out the planning stage
But I’m A Cheerleader! (Chapter 7)
illi mcmillin x reader
tags - high school, lesbians!!!!!!, slow burn, underage drinking (womp womp), hurt/comfort (!!!!!!!), homophobia/bullying :(, cheating (but it doesn't count in my eyes x), tension of colossal proportions
content - "Ever seen 'Carrie'?"
10k words (exactly 10,000 according to my word counter lol)
★ special thanks to @maretteram for allowing me to use their incredible artwork for this chapter - they are massively talented, please drop them a follow! ★
Dance, Dance - 7/17
Your room was filled with the musical stylings of Avril Lavigne blasting from your CD player, glitter and perfume lingering in the air as you sat at your vanity taking the rollers out of your hair. You hummed along to the the music as you attentively unfurled each section of hair, occasionally sipping at a wine cooler, before brushing them out slightly and spraying them with a healthy dose of hairspray, gassing the room in your wake.
Your eyes were painted with dark, smoky eyeshadow, cheekbones glistening with shimmer, a deep red spread across your lips. You admired yourself for a moment in the mirror as you finished your drink, reaching that state of tipsy where you get a bit of an ego, before your phone buzzed. You flipped it open to see the message had come from Stacey; "OTW!!". You set aside eye-fucking yourself and jumped up from the stool, making your way over to your closet. You took the sleek, black dress hanging from the door, pulling it on and tugging at the fabric until it sat how you wanted. After some preening, you sat on the edge of your bed and pulled on a pair of chunky, leopard-print pumps. Your mum had given you them and you'd been looking for an excuse to wear them, though were unsure of how long the exceptionally high heels would remain on your feet. Your phone began to ring as you popped a pair of gold hoops in, running to grab your bag as you rushed out of your room.
"I'll be right there," you held the phone to your ear with your shoulder as you threw your lipstick into your purse, making your way downstairs. You flipped it shut as you strutted towards the front door, pulling on a black fur shrug, before calling out to your parents. "Mom! Dad! I'm leaving!" you shouted, as footsteps from the living room followed. "Oh! Sweetie! You look beautiful! Let me get the camera!" your mum gasped from the doorway, before running back into the room. "Okay, but quickly, Mum! They're waiting on me!" you rolled your eyes as you spoke, itching to leave. "You look so...grown up," your dad looked at you in confusion. "And what's with all this makeup, you don't need that, you're only eighte-" he began, before your mum re-entered. "Oh, leave her alone, Dale! I think you look fabulous, hun," your mum scowled at him before beaming at you, raising the camera to her eye. "Smile!" she called out, before a series of flashes blinded you. "O-Okay, I really need to go," you muttered, squinting at them before opening the front door. "Have a good time! Stay safe!" they shouted from behind as you made your way up the drive to Andy's truck.
He pushed the door open for you and gave you a hand up as you climbed in, with Lacey and Pete squashed into the back seat behind you. The air was tinged with the scent of beer and Lacey's perfume as Eminem played on the radio, with you turning to face Andy. "That dress is real nice on you, babe," he looked you up and down as he spoke, the scent of malt liquor hitting you in the face. "Thanks," you replied, pulling down the mirror and further examining yourself. "Hey, Lace!" you hummed upon meeting eyes with her in the reflection, turning to face her. The two of you chatted and giggled as though you hadn't seen each other only a matter of hours ago, and, as you spoke, you saw Andy scowl at you from the corner of your eye before pulling out of the driveway.
The orange glow of streetlights streaked past your window, the sky a sort of mauve shade outside, as you took the familiar route to your high school. You and Lacey shared a beer as you drove, with Pete and Andy milling on about football practice, before you pulled into the lot. It was swarming with cars as you dodged between lanes trying to find a parking spot, snagging one near the main entrance. The boys finished their bottles as the four of you got out the truck, making your way to the main door. Balloons and fairy lights were strung across the entryway and down the corridor as you made your way to the hall. Ms Danzig sat at a plastic table in front of the double doors, a small till along with stamps and boxes of yellow tickets sat before her, a large banner which read "HAPPY HOMECOMING" in blue and white paint hung above her head.
"Hi, folks! Got your tickets ready?" she smiled as you approached her, with Andy presenting the four of them to her. She stamped each of your wrists before you entered, wishing you a good night with a grin as you made your way through the large double-doors. Your assembly hall had transformed in the dark of night; a disco ball hung from the ceiling, the room sparkling under it's reflection all shades of pink and blue, a DJ booth sat on the stage, the bassline blasting through the speaker rumbling the old, wooden floors and swelling in the air, people strewn about the place, glistening with sweat as they danced under the strobing lights or loitering on the outskirts of the hall.
The four of you made your way into the swarm of bodies scattered through the room, with Andy and Pete bumping into some of the other guys from the team. Lacey and you stood there for about five minutes as they both snubbed you to converse with the boys, before making your way over to the punch bowl. You filled your red, plastic cups with slightly-watery pink juice, propping yourselves against the table. "You know, I'd put on a better party than this," Lacey muttered, scanning the room. "You have put on a better party than this, many times," you chuckled in agreement, both of you unamused by the night's beginning. "It's still early though," you supposed, turning to see her topping up her cup with a hip flask. "Lacey Stump, are you out of your fucking mind? What if a teacher sees?" you spoke in a hushed tone, eyes wide, moving closer to her. "So what? Half of them are probably drunk too! We need something to make the night interesting," she giggled, pouring some into your cup. "You are a very bad influence, young lady," you laughed, taking a sip, the thinly veiled taste of cheap vodka lingering in your mouth.
The hall began to fill as the pair of you made your way to the dance-floor, relocating the guys to find Hayley and Joe had joined them. She ran over to Lacey and you, wrapping an arm around each of your necks sluggishly. She was drunk, you figured, she'd probably been drunk before she even got in the car here with how merry she was. She grabbed both of your hands, pulling you further into the crowd, the three of you spinning and swaying your hips to the music. As you twirled beneath the glittery lights something, or rather someone, caught your attention; Illi. She stood with Ray and Patrick by a wooden column next to the drinks table. You eyed her through the blur of the dance-floor; she wore a strapless, pale blue dress which cinched in at the waist and puffed out just above her knees, paired with frilly socks and patent Mary Janes on her feet. She looked like an antique China-doll, her dark hair shining and her pale skin illuminated under the lights. She looked beautiful.
Hayley cut your ogling short as she grabbed your hand, leading you and Lacey to the bathroom. You stared at your reflection in the streaky mirror, yellow-ish fluorescents flickering overhead, as Hayley slurred and giggled from the stall. "You can't just say that to people!" Lacey replied half-jokingly as she perched on the edge of the sink. "Yeah, well, her dress was ugly, and not even like, boring, dull-ugly, like, genuinely hideous, it's giving me a migraine to even think about," the door slammed open as Hayley spoke, making her way to the sink. You and Lacey merely chuckled and shook your heads at her in response as she reapplied her lipstick. The three of you laughed and chatted, passing around Lacey's flask, adjusting your dresses, touching-up your makeup, when the door abruptly flew open.
In walked Illi, your eyes lighting up upon her entering the bathroom, a warm, slightly-wobbly smile playing upon your face as you looked at her. Her gaze met yours, a warmth taking over her face, and she returned your smile. Her cheekbones sparkled under the buzzing lights, her eyes lined with thick wings, her ghostly complexion softened with rosy blush. “Makeup?” you thought, analysing each inch of her face as you looked at each other. You’d never seen Illi wear makeup before. You didn’t even know she owned makeup. She looked so…different; you felt different looking at her.
“You look nice, Illi, who you trying to bang tonight?” Hayley’s voice suddenly rang out from behind, making both yours and Illi’s heads snap round. “Uh, t-thank you? Uhm, I-I wouldn’t say I’m trying to bang anybody,” Illi’s head hung low as she responded, thick, dark locks of hair shielding her from Hayley’s sharp gaze. “Oh, come on, in a dress like that? You must have guys falling at your feet!” she barbed, her nose turned up at the girl before her as she leaned back on the sink. “Leave her alone, Hayley, she’s just trying to use the bathroom,” you bargained with her, looking to Lacey for some backup. “Yeah! Let her pee!” she spoke with conviction, despite slurring slightly, trying to do her best “serious face”. “Well, sorry for trying to be nice!” Hayley flung her hands up, rolling her eyes as she spoke. Illi shuffled past the three of you, heading into a stall as you opened the door to return to the hall. “Who knows, Illi, you could be homecoming queen!” Hayley taunted before the door swung shut behind her.
The three of you emerged from the bathroom back into the strobe-lit hall, the air sticky with sweat and sugary, pink punch. You relocated the boys down near the stage, making your way over to them. “Where’ve you been?” Andy’s warm, faintly beer-scented breath hit you in the face as he spoke, grabbing at your hips. “I was in the bathroom with the girls,” you answered, pulling your face away from his as he left sloppy, wet kisses on your cheek. “She was talking to her new friend,” Hayley scoffed, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “What new friend?” his question was muffled as he tried to shout over the music, repeating himself twice before finally sighing and pulling Hayley over to him, cupping a hand around her ear as he spoke. Your eyes locked on the way his hand wrapped around her waist with such ease, as if there was a certain knowingness there, as if it had done so countless times before. You watched as they whispered to one another, their two bodies pressing against each other slightly. She giggled as he spoke into her ear, her eyes glinting in the light as she shot you a glance. An all-too-familiar deep, black pit burrowed through your stomach as you watched them, and you froze; a statue amongst the swarm.
“Illi McMillin?!” Andy finally managed to return his attention to you, looking at you with a mixture of bemusement and bewilderment. “What are you talking to that dyke for?” he continued, laughing. “Don’t fucking call her that!” your face twisted in disgust at him as Hayley continued giggling beside him. “It’s her homecoming too, okay! She’s actually a really nice girl! She deserves to have a good night just as much as we do,” you spat at them, the pit curdling in your guts and burning your throat as it shot venomously from your lips. “Who gives a fuck if she has a good night? She's a nobody," he retorted, taking a gulp from his cup. "You don't have to be such a dick all the time, Andy!" you snapped back at him, eyes darting between him and Hayley, his hand still around her waist. "You know what, since I'm such a dick, to you up there in your-your fuckin' ivory tower, I'll make sure she has a night to remember, how about that?" he replied, a devilishly smug look upon his face as he turned and left you in the crowd, taking Hayley with him in tow.
Rage surged through your body, hot, pulsing anger flowing through your veins, as you stood there for a moment. You could feel your face burning and your jaw tightening as the music continued playing on in the background. Hot tears blurred your already slightly hazy vision as you replayed the previous moments in your mind. You turned his words over in your head, knowing if he followed through on them that nothing good would come of it. You gently wiped the tears from your waterline before they fell and ruined your makeup, taking a deep breath and trying to calm down. You had to find Illi and warn her, and quick, there was no time for waterworks.
You began making your way through the crowd, thinking she may still be in the bathroom or somewhere on the outskirts of the throng of people. Just as the bathroom door came into sight, you felt a warm hand clasp your shoulder. "Pete?" you turned to face the boy attached to said hand, dark hair stuck to his forehead slightly, skin glowing with sweat under the lights. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he began, slightly out of breath as though he had ran to catch up to you. "I just wanted to say thank you," he looked at you genially, his eyes slightly glossy. "Thank me for what?" you laughed in reply, cocking your head at him in confusion. "Y'know...for the other day, with Mikey," he shuffled his feet awkwardly as he spoke, no longer maintaining eye contact. "Okay, you've totally lost me now," you laughed, unsure of why he was acting so sheepish. "It's just, I-I don't know how the guys would react if they found out, y'know, let alone the full school, so I appreciate you not telling anyone," his voice swelled slightly as he spoke, his head now hung low in embarrassment.
At that moment, the penny dropped. "I knew Illi was being sarcastic!" you suddenly gasped in realisation, prompting a confused look from Pete. "Oh, uh, sorry, she'd just made a joke about you two being, uh," it was now your turn to eye him awkwardly as you explained. "About you two being really good friends, uh...I guess I get it now!" you mumbled, before Pete began to chuckle. The two of you laughed, somewhat awkwardly, together as you stood there, as though you were in your own bubble no one else knew about. "Wow, so you and Mikey, huh? How long's that been going on?" you asked, half-drunken nosiness getting the better of you. "Uh, on and off for maybe, like...a year and a half now?" he replied, prompting you to spit out your drink slightly. "A year and a half? Jesus Christ, Pete, you sure know how to keep a secret!" your jaw hung open, looking at him in awe, to which he laughed in reply. "I sure do...speaking of which, I won't say anything about you and Illi, don't worry!" he smiled at you, though your face returned to the same perplexed expression it had donned a few moments ago. "Me and Illi? What are you talking about, Pete?" you chuckled as you cocked your head at him. "Are you two not?" he squinted at you, now also in confusion. "It's only cause Mikey had said..." he trailed off, rubbing his brow. "Said what, Pete?" you tried to lure an answer from him. "Nothing! Doesn't even matter! Have a good night!" he replied, wide eyed, before returning to the crowd. `
You found yourself stood alone in the crowd once more, this time in a state of confusion rather than rage. "Are we not what?" you wondered, making a mental note to try and track down Pete later and question him further, before setting back on your noble quest to save the princess.
You continued wading through people until you reached the girls' bathroom, praying Illi was still inside. You pushed the door open, calling her name as you crashed into the room. It seemed she had vacated, with only your reflection keeping you company in the dingy toilet, but you tried all the stall doors just to be safe. The first two swung open to reveal nothing but stained porcelain bowls and toilet paper sprawled across the floor, but the third one wouldn't budge. At first you thought maybe the door was just stuck, barging it with your shoulder slightly, but you were sure you heard feet shuffling behind it. "Illi? Is that you in there?" you shouted, hoping the door would open and you may be graced with the sight of her face, but to no avail. "I know someone is in there, open up!" you began banging on the door, your patience growing thin. You put your ear to the wood, listening for any sounds of life, and could hear two hushed, panicked voices coming from behind it, with one of them saying your name. "Right! That's it!" you announced, standing upright once more and going into the next stall, slamming the lid shut and beginning to stand on top of it with wobbly ankles. You stood up, steadying yourself against the wall and gripping on tight, before peering over the edge. "What have we here!" you barbed, peering over the top of the stall to be met with a truly shocking scene.
"What the fuck," your eyes widened as your voice, shrill with shock, echoed through the bathroom, silencing the pop music booming outside the door. You stumbled off the pan, almost falling as you clambered down, before exiting the stall and leaning against the sinks outside. The pulling-on of clothes and fumbling with a belt could be heard from behind the door, followed by the soft clink of metal as it was unlocked. Lacey slinked out of the stall first, blonde hair sticking up in tufts, her dress riding up dangerously high, lipstick gone. The two of you locked eyes in the mirror, with her leaning sheepishly against the wall and eyeing you in embarrassment as you awaited her counterpart to show himself. Lacey opened her mouth to speak before snapping it shut again as the door opened once more, a certain Mr Toro following her out of the stall with a smug, though slightly awkward, grin.
"We weren't even doing anything, I swear!" Lacey cried, making her way over to you and pawing at your hand. "His face says otherwise," you met her gaze, a smirk curling at the corner of your mouth. Ray stood there like the cat who got the cream, shirt clinging onto him by the two buttons that were done up, hair slightly askew, pinky-peach marks smeared up his neck and along his jaw before finally reaching his lips. He began to chuckle at your remark, breaking the tension slightly and coaxing a giggle from you, before the three of you all erupted into laughter. You ran your hands through your hair as you looked between the two of them, once again hearing the penny drop in your mind. "Lacey," you turned to her, taking her hand. "Uh, yeah?" she replied, audibly nervous. "Vodka. Now, please," you stated, causing Ray to laugh once more.
"Do I even want to know?" you asked, taking a glug from the small, bedazzled flask. "It's nothing serious, we're just having fun for now, right, Ray?" Lacey chirped in response, batting her lashes at the boy. "What she says goes," he hummed back, seemingly still in a daze after the events within the cubicle. As you eyed the two of them you realised they actually, kind of made a good pair; Ray was tall and broad, which Lacey went crazy for, and had a good head of hair, and they were both goofy, and kinda smart in their own way. Not to mention the way his eyes would follow her every movement, as if he were totally beguiled. "Please don't tell anyone," Lacey mumbled, fixing her hair in the mirror. You quirked a brow at her over the edge of the flask, confused partly because she knew you would never and partly because you weren't sure why it was such a big secret. "You know how Hayley is! Not to mention the rest of the girls! They'd ice me out, say I'd committed social suicide," she continued, glancing between you and her reflection. You rolled your eyes, finally pulling your lips away from the cold metal. "Who cares about Hayley? Or the girls? It's none of their business anyway," you began, rambling in your slightly drunken state. "Plus, Ray's a good guy, as long as he's looking after you and treating you right I couldn't care less," you continued, shooting him a smile as you spoke. Suddenly, Lacey pulled you into a tight hug, squeezing you as Ray returned a warm, broad smile to you from over her shoulder.
You stood with your arms wrapped around the small, blonde girl for a few moments, swaying from left to right together, before you finally pulled away. "I'm gonna leave you lovebirds to it, but you better be careful nobody else catches you!" you began, making your way towards the door. "Ray, you wouldn't happen to know where Illi is, would you?" you continued. "Uh, I'm not sure, maybe with Patrick? Or Frank? Probably lingering near the punch bowl somewhere," he answered, wracking his brain as he spoke, his hands wrapped around Lacey's waist. "Thanks a bunch, man, see you guys out there," you flashed them a smile before pushing the door open, emerging into the pulsing crowd again.
You began, again, squeezing through the horde of classmates and underclassmen in the increasingly humid hall. You heard voices calling on you through the crowd, girls from the cheer squad trying to grab your hands and dance together, familiar faces smiling at you, but you hadn't any time for that currently. You rushed over to the punch bowl, spotting Illi stood in her previous spot with Patrick. You wasted no time with "excuse me's" as you pushed your way over to her, only to feel a hand clamp around your wrist just as you almost reached her.
"There you are, I've been looking for you all night! Come here for a minute, there's someone I want you to meet!" Frank spoke excitedly, pulling you in the opposite direction. You glanced back over your shoulder, taking a deep sigh as Illi faded from your eyeline once more. "Love the shoes by the way," he smiled as he dragged you towards Mikey and some boy. Upon closer inspection you recognised the boy as Mercutio from the play, or rather Jesse. "This is my friend I was telling you about!" Frank beamed, presenting you to the dark-haired boy with a gentle shove. "Uh, hi, uh, Jesse? Right?" you shifted awkwardly where you stood. "Yeah, I think we're in English together or something?" he replied, the two of you exchanging shy glances. Frank beamed as he stood beside the two of you, poking Mikey and pointing at you both as though you were two cats that had just been introduced, and he was impressed at the lack of hissing and claws.
You continued making small talk with the boy, with Frank and Mikey eventually joining the conversation, but your mind wandered. You couldn't help but worry about what Andy might do to her, you knew she was sensitive, and you knew how nasty he could be at times. Your gaze lingered in her general vicinity, hoping you might catch a glimpse of her and she'd be alright, but she was hidden amongst the crowd. "What's the matter with you?" Frank's voice cut through the droning, dreadful noise filling your head, pulling you back to Earth. "What? What do you mean?" you muttered back, taking a sip of your drink as you tried to avoid looking at him. "Normally you won't shut up, why so quiet? And what are you staring at?" he retorted, narrowing his eyes on you. "Nothing, nothing, I just, uh, sorta need to talk to someone," you finally met his gaze, trying to maintain an air of nonchalance. "Wow, sorry, I didn't realise we were holding you hostage," Jesse quipped, distracting you from your nerves for a moment with a chuckle. "Who do you need to talk to?" Frank cocked his head at you, trying to read your expression for some kind of answer. "Just, uh...Illi," you replied hesitantly, lowering your head slightly.
The three boys fell quiet, each of them exchanging strange, sly glances, as though communicating with their eyes instead of speaking aloud. You raised your head to see Jesse half-smirking at Frank, who's shit-eating grin spread wide across his face. Even Mikey looked kind of smug, as though he knew something you didn't. "What?" you finally broke the silence, growing irritated with their schoolboy behaviour. "Nothing, uh," Frank began, before cutting himself off with his own sniggering. "I swear to God, Frank, spit it out," you asserted, shooting him a stern look. "Go talk to Illi, I'll stay with this idiot," Mikey suddenly spoke, smiling at you. "Okay, uh, I'll catch you guys later...Nice talking to you, Jesse!" you replied, shooting him and Mikey a small smile, reserving your "fuck you" look for Frank, before departing.
As you once again found yourself searching for Illi, the music abruptly came to a halt. The sea of bodies ceased swaying and flowing as the sound of muffled static replaced the Britney Spears song which had previously been playing. Suddenly, a blinding, white spotlight was beamed onto the stage, with the DJ having vacated and the principle, Mr Hargreeves, having taken his place. "Good evening, students," his words boomed through the microphone and bounced off the walls. "I hope you are all enjoying the dance so far, but I believe there are some declarations in order," his voice, low and raspy, commanded the attention of all in the room. "That is, of course, the declaration of homecoming king and queen!" he exclaimed, causing the hall to erupt into applause and whooping.
The pit in your stomach seemed to swell and expand inside of you as you frantically scanned the crowd of faces in a final desperate attempt to find her, but it was no use. Instead, all you could do was watch on as Hayley, of all people, delivered the winning envelope to Mr Hargreeves. The rest of the room buzzed and hummed with excitement, the girls smoothing their dresses and checking their makeup whilst boys adjusted their ties and their hair. You, however, stood completely still, your stomach twisting and jumping with uneasiness.
"First, we shall crown our beautiful homecoming queen!" the old, greying, spindly looking man spoke once more, after giving his glasses a polish with his handkerchief and pushing them up his long, pointy nose. The anticipation in the room was tangible, a certain electricity surging in the air, though to you it felt more akin to watching a horror film; you know, when nothing has happened quite yet but you can feel it approaching, and you're gripping the arm of the seat so hard your knuckles turn white and you're sure you might tear the fabric. "This year's homecoming queen is...drum roll, please," Mr Hargreeves’ bellowing voice was followed by people thumping their feet and battering on tables. You could feel your heart pulsing in your throat as the rabble died down, and Mr Hargreeves leaned into the microphone.
"Illi McMillin!" the name which would normally bring a smile to your face rang through your ears like an air raid siren, followed by scattered, half-hearted applause and hushed chatter. "Was she even on the ballot?" a group of girls nearby whispered to one another. "Who voted for her?" sniggered a boy behind you to his friend. She, in fact, hadn't been on the ballot, and as guilty as it made you feel to admit, you knew even if she was nobody would vote for her. You swivelled your head round, scouring the crowd for Frank, or Lacey, or anyone really. Panic truly began to sink in, it's cold, sharp hands digging into your guts and twisting them to the point of nausea, as you watched Illi shuffle onto the stage.
She stood beside Mr Hargreeves, her face flushed and sporting an expression of confusion. She squinted as she looked at the crowd before her, half blinded by the spotlight shining on her. Suddenly, Ms Danzig joined them on the stage, a satin sash and bouquet of flowers in-hand. She delicately draped the ribbon over her, the soft pink matching her rosy cheeks, and handed her the bundle of tulips and roses. Finally, Mr Hargreeves placed a small, shiny tiara atop her shiny, black hair, offering her a warm smile as he adjusted it. "A big round of applause for your queen, please," the old man's voice filled the room once more, though softer this time. Illi walked sheepishly to the front of the stage, with people beginning to clap and cheer through their confusion. You could hear Frank somewhere behind you whooping her name, bringing a small smile to your face as you looked up at her. For a moment, the dread subsided, and you simply admired the way the light danced across her face, illuminating those twinkly, hazel eyes and high cheekbones.
"Hey, Illi!" a voice, rumbling like thunder, yelled from the audience. She brought her hand over her eyes, searching for the voice's owner, recognising it as someone familiar. "Ever seen 'Carrie'?" it called out once more, making your neck spin round in it's direction. You recognised it too. Just then, you felt something lightly spray across the side of your face, making you jump. You wiped your finger against your cheek, examining the liquid. "What the..." you thought, rubbing your fingers together. It was hard to make out what colour it was under the lights, but it had a slightly metallic smell to it. Three pennies rolled around inside your head like an empty piggy-bank as you returned your attention to the stage.
Illi hadn't moved. She stood, in that same spot, dripping in blood. Her babydoll dress sagged at the hem under the weight of the liquid, the powder blue lace now stained crimson. Her hair stuck flat to her head, small, red droplets rolling off her crown and dripping from her split ends. Shades of scarlet and maroon streamed down her face and splattered across her ghostly complexion. Her bouquet, formerly an array of velvety pinks and buttery yellows, lay limp in her arms like a stillborn. The room welled up with the stench of sickly, rich iron as people in the first few rows wiped blood specks from their faces, though no one so much as uttered a word.
You couldn't pull your gaze from the stage as Ms Danzig sprinted back on, pulling off her cardigan and wrapping it around Illi before ushering her off the stage. The whole time Illi just stood there, cradling her flowers, eyes fixed on her shoes. She could hear Ms Danzig speaking to her, trying to take her to safety and offering to clean her up, but all she could focus on were the droplets rolling off the deep, black patent leather and pooling around her feet. She could hear her frilly socks squelching in her shoes as she trudged off the stage, drowning out the sound of Mr Hargreeves' roaring.
"I am absolutely appalled at the display I have just witnessed here," he began, his stern voice cutting through the whispers and chatter. "I frankly cannot believe my students would do something of such horror to one of their own classmates...Whoever you are, I hope you're happy with yourself. Homecoming is over! And we will be investigating this come Monday!" he continued, a large, purple vein throbbing on his forehead. "And believe me, folks, I will not rest until the perpetrator is found. And when you are, because I will find you, you better hope Illi shows you some more grace and forgiveness than I will! Get out of my sight, all of you!" he concluded, his eyes narrowed on the sea of stunned faces before him.
A solemn tear rolled down your cheek as you joined the mass of bodies filing down the hallway to the exit. You didn't bother trying to find anyone in the crowd this time, instead your head hung low and your gaze fixated on your shoes, shuffling slowly down the corridor. Hushed tones and muttered conversations swarmed about your ears, and you could feel your face burning, angry tears boiling and brimming against your waterline. They were all talking about it, about her, and you couldn't stand it. Furthermore, you couldn't stand that he had done this to her. Sure, you'd seen him push a few kids into lockers and he'd gotten into fights before, but this? This made you see him entirely differently; this made your blood run cold at the thought of being alone with him, this made your head pound and your vision blurry with contempt, this made your stomach churn at the thought of his touch.
As the fresh, crisp night air freed you from the looming stench of sweat and dollar-store perfume that had carried from the hall through the corridor, you felt a warm hand upon your shoulder. You wiped your under-eyes before turning to face Lacey, who was looking at you with those big, sad, glossy eyes. "That was terrible," she breathed, taking your hand and walking beside you. "Do you think she's gonna be okay?" she continued, after you didn't reply. "I don't know, Lace...I mean how would you feel?" you answered her, your voice slightly wobbly. She merely nodded her head back at you, a silent sense of understanding, giving your hand a slight squeeze as you stood in the parking lot. "Who would do something like that?" she spoke quietly, biting at her lips anxiously. "I have a funny feeling we already know who," you replied matter-of-factly, your brow furrowed.
You both remained quiet as bodies continued swarming from the exit, the dark lot illuminated with headlights as people clambered into their cars whilst some clumped together, a cacophony of kids calling their parents to come get them early, yelling for their friends or blathering on about the night. Lacey began to speak, only you couldn't hear her, for the moment you raised your head from the blistered, black asphalt beneath your feet you spotted him. He walked out the door, skin flushed and dappled with sweat, with a big smile on his face as he laughed at something Pete said. He caught your gaze, oblivious to your scornful expression, and beckoned you and Lacey to the car with a wave.
Lacey looked between you and him, uncertainty and fear glossing over her steely-blue eyes, as if waiting for you to signal it was alright to go over. You looked back at her, softening your face and offering her a meek smile before turning your attention back to Andy, who was now waiting with Pete by the truck. You took a deep inhale as you began to stride across the lot, narrow, stony gaze locked on the boy as your heart pounded in your chest. You could hear cars honking at you, and Lacey calling out something incoherent from behind you, but you just continued marching on.
"Do you think you're fucking funny?" you greeted Andy with a shove, sending him staggering backwards into the hood of the car. "Woah!" Pete shouted, putting himself between the two of you. "What the hell?" Andy straightened himself up, looking back at you in bewilderment. "Do you think I'm fucking stupid? I know it was you!" you cried, trying to push past Pete and claw at Andy. "I don't know what you're talking about?! You're acting crazy!" his condescending tone only angered you more, with Pete practically holding you up in the air away from Andy. "This isn't a game, Andy! She's a fucking person! You went too far this time!" you bawled, finally giving up and going limp in Pete's arms before Lacey grabbed you and pulled you close to her. "Clearly someone's had a little too much to drink, you aren't thinking straight," his voice oozed patronisingly, with him cocking his head at you as he spoke. "No, actually, I think I'm seeing things more clearly than ever. You're a monster," you spat back at him, wiping a hot tear from your cheek. "Babe, come on, just get in the car and we can talk about this!" he pleaded, opening the door. "I'm not going anywhere with you," you muttered before taking off across the lot.
You went and sat on the wall at the far end of the car park away from all the blinding headlights and watching eyes, away from the whispers and the sly chatter. Streaks of grey duller than the sky above you stained your cheeks, your hands trembling as you perched on the cold, gritty ledge. You could hear your phone buzzing from inside your purse, the small bag vibrating against your thigh as you held your head in your hands. You were angry, the pit in your stomach consuming your guts like a starved black hole, leaving hellfire in it's wake. More so than angry, though, you were blue; the kind of blue you can't quite distinguish from black, dark, biting waves washing over you as you replayed the scene in your head. Most of all, you were confused; if this had happened last year you wouldn't have cared, hell, you probably would've laughed. What changed? Was this just growing up? Realising who you are, and what's right and what's wrong, and what you like and what you don't like? But what did you like?
A soft voice suddenly cut through your spiralling, startling you slightly. "You okay?" the voice was quiet, but you recognised it even through the bustle of cars and distant conversations. You lifted your head from your palms to Frank kneeling in front of you, a meek, sympathetic smile on his pale face. "Yeah, I-I'm fine, just, me and A-Andy had an argument," you squeaked out between sniffles, Frank rubbing your knee gently with his thumb. "Yeah, uh, I heard," he murmured back, trying his best to maintain the gaze of your teary eyes. "Oh, God! Did everyone see?" you clamped your hands over your face, wishing the ground would swallow you whole where you sat. "Listen, don't think about that, everyone else don't matter right now. What's wrong? Talk to me?" he wiped the seemingly unrelenting stream of tears from your cheek as he spoke. "I don't know! I don't know what's wrong! I just know I am so fucking angry at him!" your voice rose, the flames in your stomach scorching your insides. "Frankie, I know it was him, you've gotta believe me," you cried, Frank now rising to sit beside you, taking you in his arms as you sobbed. "When I get my fucking hands on him..." Frank muttered under his breath as he rubbed your back soothingly. "Where is she?" you pulled away from him, wiping your under-eyes once more. "She's in the locker room, Ms Danzig's trying to find some spare clothes for her," he replied, scanning the lot.
"Oh fuck," he spoke lowly now, eyes fixed on the tall, broad figure approaching. "Are you gonna get in the fucking car or what? I've been calling since you stormed off, I can't wait around all night because you're throwing a tantrum!" Andy's voice boomed, making your head snap round to face him. "Hey, don't talk to her like that!" Frank suddenly stood up, puffing his chest out at the boy in feigned bravado. "Or what, Iero?" Andy began closing the space between them, twisting his face at the noticeably smaller boy. "Leave him alone, Andy!" you cried, pushing yourself between them, causing both boys to stumble backwards, exchanging glares as you stood in the middle of the two. "So, what? You're protecting him now, too? What the fuck is going on with you?" Andy growled, his scowl now directed towards you. "What the fuck is going on is that you are a jerk! You're nasty, a-and you're a bully! And for what you did to her...You're an animal," you howled, unable to even look at the boy you were meant to love. "Oh, I'm the jerk! Since when did your loyalties lie with these freaks anyway, huh? Come on, you're not one of them," he eyed you like prey as he spoke, his voice low and taunting. "Fuck you, man, what's that supposed to mean?" Frank cut in, pushing against your outheld hand as you tried to keep them away from one another.
You found yourself caught in the eye of the storm between the two of them, expletives and insults being hurled from all directions. You felt as though the walls were closing in as they both pressed against you, with your pleads and yelping muffled under the tension in the air. You pushed most of your weight into Andy, struggling to hold him back as Frank pointed in his face from arm's-width away, fearing what he might do to the short, slender boy. You lifted your head to Andy pulling his arm back, his knuckles white as he clenched a tight fist, eyes fixed like a rifle onto Frank's face. Then, suddenly, the sound of palm connecting with cheek echoed in the dark corner of the lot. Your hand swung like a golf club through the air, striking Andy's face fiercely. If you were in a comic there would have been a bright, jagged speech bubble which read "THWACK!".
You staggered backwards into Frank, rubbing your slightly red, stinging palm. Andy rubbed his jaw slightly, a faintly blushing handprint burning on the surface. His eyes met yours, devoid of any remnants of light or emotion, slightly wide and unblinking. Your breath faltered, that "deer in the headlights" feeling returning, your heart rising to throb in your throat. "Bitch," he spat, shooting daggers at you as he turned on his heels, making his way back across the car park. Your pulse continued racing, with you and Frank both standing completely still until he was out of sight. As he disappeared from view, Frank spun you round and brought you into a tight hug. "Thank you," he breathed, and you could feel his heartbeat racing alongside your own as you pressed against each other.
The two of you waited until the lot was empty before heading back inside, making your way through the winding, fluorescent corridors until you reached the locker room. Mikey was slumped against the wall nursing a Dr Pepper from the vending machine whilst Ray paced up and down. The two boys cocked their heads slightly upon noticing Frank had brought you in tow. "Is she still in there?" Frank asked, glancing between the pair and the door to the changing room. "Yeah, there wasn't anything in the lost and found," Ray spoke solemnly, gazing at the door. "Think she's trying to wash her dress in the sink, but it's been quiet in there for a while," Mikey added, raising his head to look at the two of you. "Well, one of us is gonna have to cough up," Frank began, rubbing his brow. "Ray, you give her your shirt and I'll give her my trousers," he continued, starting to take his belt off.
"Hold on...I think I might have some clothes in my locker," you spoke quietly, causing Ray to pause the unbuttoning of his dress-shirt. You rushed up the hall and around the corner quickly to your locker, punching the code in and grabbing the small, drawstring bag containing your gym kit before hurrying back down. You shot the boys a small smile before swinging the door open.
You entered the dingy, dimly lit room, clearing your throat to announce your presence. You could hear a tap running as you walked through to the back to find Illi hunched over the sink. She stood in her underwear and socks, all stained varying shades of crimson and scarlet, scrubbing her equally stained dress. Her skin dripped with blush droplets from where she'd attempted to scrub the blood off, rose-tinted streams streaking down the back of her legs and torso. "It's not coming out! I'm gonna have to drive home in my underwear, great!" she sighed, turning the tap off. "I have something that might help," you replied quietly, though she still jumped at your words, clearly not expecting your voice to answer hers. Suddenly she jolted round, pulling the sopping wet fabric in front of her in a vain attempt at modesty. "I, uh, wasn't expecting you, s-sorry," she was unable to meet your gaze, instead staring at her ruined garment. "Illi, it's okay," you began softly, offering her a warm smile regardless of if she was looking or not. "It's not as if this is the first time one of us has seen the other in her underwear," you chuckled, coaxing a stifled laugh from her. "Let's get you cleaned up," you announced, approaching the girl.
You helped Illi rinse her hair out in the sink as best you could, gently brushing her dark locks out under the water with a hairbrush you'd found in the bag. The blood clung to her skin like deep, red glue, with the pair of you trying to scrub it off the best you could, but it didn't make much of a difference. You helped her dry off with some of the towels in the storage closet before giving her the contents of the bag to change into. "I-I'm really sorry, Illi," you spoke barely above a whisper as she shuffled about in the stall. "It's okay...not like it's your fault," she sighed in response between pulling on clothes. "I know, I just...just feel bad is all," you replied, staring at your reflection in the mirror as you waited. "If it makes you feel any better, I slapped him," you called out, trying to offer sympathy in any way you could. "You did?" she chirped back, her voice slightly lighter. "Yeah, you can ask Frank," you chuckled, rubbing circles into your palm with your thumb. "You didn't have to do that for me," you could sense the blush forming on her cheeks from through the stall door, a smile curling at the corners of your lips at her coy response. "Yeah, well, he earned it for what he did, and you know you're-" you began to reply, before the stall door suddenly unclicked and swung open.
There stood Illi, your hot pink Juicy shorts clinging to her thighs and stretched over her hips, her chest squeezed into your tight, white tank top. You'd never seen her show so much skin, the pale flesh of her midriff and her legs glistening under the pale blue light. Your eyes couldn't help but roam over her, lingering on every curve the fabric struggled to contain; the way her chest spilled out over the hem of your vest, how her nipples pierced through the thin, white fabric, the way the velour of your shorts was cutting into her thick thighs. There was something more provocative about this than her in her underwear, somehow; there was something about how good she looked in your clothes. You felt your pulse quicken, your stomach suddenly fluttering and flipping as she stood before you, unsure where to look.
"It's bad, isn't it?" she squeaked, trying to pull the vest down to cover her stomach. "What? No! It's not bad! Hardly something I'd expect to find in your wardrobe, but not bad!" you replied, taking a step towards the girl. "You know, you actually look kinda...hot," you breathed, your chest tight with nerves. Illi raised her head and met your gaze, her cheeks burning slightly, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "Oh, shut up! Me? Hot? Those two things don't belong in a sentence together," she chuckled, turning away from you. Your hand wrapped around her wrist, pulling her back to face you slightly closer now. "Illi, don't say that," you began, furrowing your brow at her. "I think you're beautiful," you continued, your face softening as you stared into her eyes.
The words came out soft and light, though the air between the pair of you grew thick and tense. Illi seemed surprised at your statement, the blush on her face growing hotter as it burned across her cheekbones. You were so close you thought you could feel the heat radiating from her, her breath hitting your face as her gaze danced between your eyes and your lips. You could feel your heart rising to beat in your throat, excitement and unknowingness mingling within you. Your grip on her wrist loosened, though your hand lingered on her waist. Illi's hand rose to mirror your own, gripping your hip slightly as the other one found it's way to your jaw. You found yourself pushed back against the sinks, pinned by her strong, broad hips pressing into you.
"Illi..." you whispered practically against her lips, your body pulsing. "What?" she taunted slightly, not breaking eye contact. "W-We shouldn't," you stuttered, the pounding heartbeat in your underwear thinking differently. "Shouldn't what? We're not doing anything, are we?" she continued, a newfound authority in her voice. "If you keep pressing against me like that we might," your voice was meek but your eyes were dark, siren-like, even, as you watched her face falter slightly as your words rang out. Suddenly she was pressing against you even harder than before, quirking a brow at you provokingly.
Any remnants of willpower you had were lost on you as you finally closed the space between your mouths, your lips meeting with desperation. She kissed you, firstly, with care and tenderness, before primal need took over and she began to devour you. It was sloppy, spit and blood exchanging between your mouths, as her hands suddenly scooped you up and slammed you onto the counter. She found her way between your legs, gripping your hips so hard you were sure she'd leave bruises. Your hand tugged at her thick, dark locks slightly, still damp from you washing it. Heat grew between the two of you, pulsing, tangible heat that filled the room and drowned out Ray and Frank's calling from the corridor. She bit your bottom lip with hunger, her teeth sharp and jagged, as you pawed at her.
Her hand travelled down your waist, a watery, crimson handprint squeezed onto your thigh as her fingers trailed up your dress. They lingered against the wet patch in your underwear, with Illi chuckling slightly against your lips as her fingers made slight contact. You thrust forward into her hand, chasing any sort of friction you could get, moaning slightly into her mouth. Your hand made it's way to her chest, grabbing her slightly as her fingers pressed against the dampness between your legs. She trailed breathy kisses down your neck, followed by a deep purple bruise. Her teeth sank into your warm, plump flesh, making you whine slightly, gripping her hair harder. She rubbed small circles against the heat between your legs as she sucked at your collarbone, your head flung back in submission. Your free hand tugged her top up, the fabric sticking to her slightly with sweat and blood. Your cold fingers squeezed at her bust with desperation, making her nipple harden. You toyed with it slightly, smirking against her lips as she moaned as you swiped your thumb over it. She was just hooking her fingers through the black lace of your underwear when a voice cut through the air, "Guys, come on! We gotta get going!".
Your bodies remained tangled together as Mikey spoke, a silver string of spit connecting your mouths as Illi pulled away from you slightly. "We'll be out in a second! God!" she shouted back, irritation prominent with each word. Your hands reluctantly left each other's bodies, with Illi pulling her shoes on as you slunk off of the sink, pulling your dress down awkwardly as scarlet burned feverishly across your face. Your eyes remained on the ground as Illi gathered her things, her shuffling around and a tap gently dripping taking the place of the heavy breathing and soft moans which had filled the room moments ago. "Good to go?" she spoke barely above a whisper, her voice meek yet tender. You raised your head, finally meeting her equally coy gaze, and nodded. The two of you began making your way out of the changing room, a sense of sweet awkwardness lingering between you, before Illi paused in front of the door. She turned to face you, cupping your face gently and placing a soft kiss to your lips before pulling away just as quickly and heading out the door.
"I don't want to hear a word," she spoke bluntly to the boys, all of whom were trying their best to conceal their laughter at what she was wearing. She strode ahead of the rest of you, her dress leaving small droplets on the floor as she carried it down the corridor towards the exit, Mikey and Ray exchanging whispers and muffled laughter as you and Frank lagged behind them. "You could not have picked a better outfit if you tried," Frank chuckled as you walked, his words lost on you as you swayed down the hall, your mind still in the locker room. "What took you guys so long in there anyway?" he linked your arms, eyeing you suspiciously. "Huh?" you cocked your head at him, suddenly brought back down to earth. "You guys were in there for like thirty minutes? Pretty long time if you ask me," he continued, eyes narrowing on your face. "She was covered in blood! We had to wash her hair, rinse out her dress, try and scrub as much off her skin as we could, all in a fucking sink! These things take time, Frank!" you exclaimed in reply, your pitch gradually getting higher as you spoke. "Okay! Okay! Damn, somebody's defensive," he chuckled back, pulling away from you dramatically before you pulled him back in, poking him in the ribs. "Fuck off, Iero," you laughed, fake fighting the boy as you made your way out of the exit.
The parking lot was quiet, now, the cool, billowing wind the only sound other than your footsteps. The five of you made your way over to Ray's beat-up, brown Ford, the chill in the air quickening your pace. Illi and Ray climbed into the front, whilst Mikey, Frank, and you piled into the back. "I don't want to sit in the middle!" Frank cried as you and Mikey forced him in from either side. "Well I need leg room, and you're the smallest anyway!" Mikey replied, shuffling in behind Illi. "What's your excuse?" he snipped at you as you put your seatbelt on. "I'm a lady, I shouldn't have to sit in the middle! And you are the smallest! We're literally getting out at the same place, quit whining," you retorted, coaxing a laugh from Mikey. Frank huffed and muttered under his breath as Ray pulled out of the car park, crossing his arms dramatically like a sulking child. The car was quiet, other than the Queen song playing gently on the radio. It wasn't an awkward silence, though, rather a comfortable one, each of you in your own worlds; Mikey was half-asleep, Frank was maintaining the huffy toddler act, and Ray was focused on the road.
Between your gazing out the window, you and Illi exchanged glances in the rear mirror, making your heart race slightly. You lingered on the feeling of her hands on your body, grabbing, wanting, of how soft her lips were and how sweet she tasted, of how you would have let her do whatever she pleased with you if Mikey hadn't interrupted. You stared at her longingly through the mirror, noticing the slight blush on her cheeks even in her reflection. You could feel the heat in the car rising, your body flushed and tingling as you looked at one another. There was something naughty about it, dirty even; the two of you stealing glances, both of you replaying the same exact thing in your minds, lust and desperation running rampant between you two, unbeknownst to all those around you. What was dirtier, though, was that it only fuelled the fire more. And like some sick joke from God himself, "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects began to hum from the radio.
Ray pulled into yours and Frank's little cul-de-sac, pulling up on the curb between your two houses. "Finally!" Frank huffed, undoing his seatbelt. "Thanks for the lift home, Ray," you smiled, purposefully delaying your exit purely to annoy Frank. "Don't worry about it," he smiled back, both of you exchanging a knowing glance. "Guess I'll see you guys around, bye Mikey," you continued, the boy rousing from his semi-wakened state to shoot you a wave goodbye. "Yes, yes, goodbye everyone! Now can we please get out the car, I'm tired!" Frank squirmed in his seat, urging you out. "Fine! Let's go since it's past baby's bedtime!" you groaned in reply, finally opening the door and turning to climb out. "Bye Illi," you smiled at her in the mirror, shooting her a wink before turning to get out, but something stopped you in your tracks. Frank's eyes were fixated on your leg, or more so the faint, red handprint pressed into your upper thigh. Your eyes widened, matching his own as you met his gaze, pursing your lips together before turning away from him and jumping out the car.
The two of you stood between your driveways until the car was out of sight, before turning to one another. Frank had that all-too-familiar shit-eating grin on his face, his eyes narrowed on you. "So, the handpr-" he began before you pressed a finger to his lips. "Don't," you interrupted, an awkward heat burning on your face. Frank began to laugh, before you pulled him into a hug, making him stagger back slightly in surprise. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, pulling you in closer. "Okay, I get it, you don't want to talk about it, but you don't need to suffocate me!" he chuckled into your hair as you squeezed him. "Shut up and just enjoy it," you laughed back, gently tapping him upside the head. "What's this for, anyway?" he continued, his voice soft and light with laughter. "I'm just grateful for you protecting me tonight, is all...You know, I'm really glad you're my friend, Frankie," you replied shyly, embarrassed to get all sappy on him. Frank just squeezed you back even tighter, his smile widening. "I'm really glad you're my friend, too," he responded softly, swaying you slightly where you stood.
The two of you eventually parted ways, bidding each other goodnight from over the hedge as your key hit the lock, entering into the warmth and quiet of your house before dragging yourself up to bed. God, what a night!
ILLI NATION!!! YOUR WAIT IS GREATLY REWARDED THIS CHAPTER!!!
THE TENSION HAS RUPTURED
My beloved lesbians, lady lovers, sapphics, yuri fans and other people that read this lovely fic, please please please show it some love, a lot of time and effort went into this, many long calls of writing together, proof reading and fanboying hard finally came together to create what is quite possibly the best wlw pay off of the century.
@yourladyofs0rr0ws I am so proud of you!!
If you haven’t already read this fic and you’re a Illi fan, GET TO IT!! You will not be disappointed x
AI USE ACCUSATION
Hi everyone, I recently received a comment on Ao3 concerning my recent fic (The Bathroom) which accused me of using AI.
I have never and will never use AI to write any work, I am actively against AI usage. I did reply on Ao3, but just incase anyone sees that comment and is put off reading my work, I’ve decided to make a statement here with some supporting evidence that this claim is untrue. Most of these are text message screen shots, but there are images of my written notes and photos of me in the actual writing process.
Here are some texts between my friend and I, they are cropped to protect their name and location that shows at the top of the chat and to only include relevant texts.
As you can see, there’s a photo of me actively writing the fic in Google docs, I’ll include another image of it without the surrounding text below.
The other image is something I sent to my friend on Snapchat (07/01/2026). I put a lot of hours into writing this fic, making notes and rewatching the film. I’ll include some photos of my hand written notes below.
There are 14 pages of notes, but I think these get the point across.
In regards to AI usage in the editing stage, I use the first spell checker that comes up when searching into Google, and I always turn off AI features on all programs, if I can’t, I find another website to use. Even within that, I do not click and accept every suggested change, I manually read through the work and correct spelling errors and grammar errors as I see fit. I take accusations like this seriously as a creative who disagrees with AI usage on a moral level. Anyone that knows me in my real life would happy vouch that I do not tolerate AI art, writing or usage at all. I hope this clears up the confusion, I understand the evidence is jumbled and not entirely concrete as my whole writing process wasn’t documented, but I have never had an issue with accusations like this before and didn’t document everything as I was not prepared for something like this.
I hope this clears up any confusion, concerns and misunderstandings. Feel free to leave a comment or use my anonymous asks to ask any questions you may have. My work will always be written by me and only me on a laptop screen, that will never change.
Thank you for reading.
- whereisyourb0yt0night
Hello! That is NOT a real person, it's a bot/ai trying to get you to delete your work so that they can scrap it for ai without any legal repercussions.
Thank you very much for keeping me and The Bathroom in mind!! I’d never had a comment like that before and just wanted to make sure anyone that comes across my fic knows it was written by me, you’re an absolute star and I appreciate your comments so much!!
every day I learn bot comments on ao3 are stooping lower and lower
anyway if you get a comment like this, chances are that they are bot and their goal is to do whatever it takes to get you to delete your work, most certainly (from what I’ve heard) it’s because they want to “safely” steal your work, use it to train their ai without you being able to rightfully claim ownership of your work since “there’s no proof that the work was stolen/was posted elsewhere first by you” because the original source has already been deleted.
THEY ARE ALL BOTS. at first it was “ao3 is deleting fics and your entire account will be affected unless you delete the fics yourself” then it was “this work contains contents that are illegal and they have already reported you and your fic to the police” (yes, that’s how desperate these bots are), and now it’s this.
report their comments to ao3 for spam—in this case, specifically, I think you may be able to report them for harassment too—and don’t pay attention to them, most importantly don’t delete your works, don’t feel discouraged by their comments. remember that they are bots and they mass comment something like this on people’s works at random to get people to delete their works. (or even if they’re not bot, they are still pathetic bullies who don’t deserve your time or attention.)
MORE ABOUT BOTS AND SCAMS PLAGUING AO3’S COMMENTS SECTION HERE
Sorry for the @, but I just wanted to share more info on the AI accusation comment you got on AO3.
@whereisyourb0yt0night
Don’t apologise!! I really appreciate it, thank you!!
Oh, and adding onto that, the comment asking to discuss making panels of your fic over discord is a bot too, trying to scam you and get your credit card info.
Yeah I’ve had that one before haha, crazy behaviour for a fanfic site, again thank you!! I appreciate the heads up :)
every day I learn bot comments on ao3 are stooping lower and lower
anyway if you get a comment like this, chances are that they are bot and their goal is to do whatever it takes to get you to delete your work, most certainly (from what I’ve heard) it’s because they want to “safely” steal your work, use it to train their ai without you being able to rightfully claim ownership of your work since “there’s no proof that the work was stolen/was posted elsewhere first by you” because the original source has already been deleted.
THEY ARE ALL BOTS. at first it was “ao3 is deleting fics and your entire account will be affected unless you delete the fics yourself” then it was “this work contains contents that are illegal and they have already reported you and your fic to the police” (yes, that’s how desperate these bots are), and now it’s this.
report their comments to ao3 for spam—in this case, specifically, I think you may be able to report them for harassment too—and don’t pay attention to them, most importantly don’t delete your works, don’t feel discouraged by their comments. remember that they are bots and they mass comment something like this on people’s works at random to get people to delete their works. (or even if they’re not bot, they are still pathetic bullies who don’t deserve your time or attention.)
MORE ABOUT BOTS AND SCAMS PLAGUING AO3’S COMMENTS SECTION HERE
Sorry for the @, but I just wanted to share more info on the AI accusation comment you got on AO3.
@whereisyourb0yt0night
Don’t apologise!! I really appreciate it, thank you!!
AI USE ACCUSATION
Hi everyone, I recently received a comment on Ao3 concerning my recent fic (The Bathroom) which accused me of using AI.
It has been brought to my attention that this is a bot comment, but it still stands.
I have never and will never use AI to write any work, I am actively against AI usage. I did reply on Ao3, but just incase anyone sees that comment and is put off reading my work, I’ve decided to make a statement here with some supporting evidence that this claim is untrue. Most of these are text message screen shots, but there are images of my written notes and photos of me in the actual writing process.
Here are some texts between my friend and I, they are cropped to protect their name and location that shows at the top of the chat and to only include relevant texts.
As you can see, there’s a photo of me actively writing the fic in Google docs, I’ll include another image of it without the surrounding text below.
The other image is something I sent to my friend on Snapchat (07/01/2026). I put a lot of hours into writing this fic, making notes and rewatching the film. I’ll include some photos of my hand written notes below.
There are 14 pages of notes, but I think these get the point across.
In regards to AI usage in the editing stage, I use the first spell checker that comes up when searching into Google, and I always turn off AI features on all programs, if I can’t, I find another website to use. Even within that, I do not click and accept every suggested change, I manually read through the work and correct spelling errors and grammar errors as I see fit. I take accusations like this seriously as a creative who disagrees with AI usage on a moral level. Anyone that knows me in my real life would happy vouch that I do not tolerate AI art, writing or usage at all. I hope this clears up the confusion, I understand the evidence is jumbled and not entirely concrete as my whole writing process wasn’t documented, but I have never had an issue with accusations like this before and didn’t document everything as I was not prepared for something like this.
I hope this clears up any confusion, concerns and misunderstandings. Feel free to leave a comment or use my anonymous asks to ask any questions you may have. My work will always be written by me and only me on a laptop screen, that will never change.
Thank you for reading.
- whereisyourb0yt0night
finishing off chapter 7 and i am hot under the collar MY GOD
I have heard.
And my god, you Illi lovers are in for a TREAT.
I’m not a part of lady lover nation, but I am blushing and kicking my feet for you all
The Bathroom.
SAW AU PETEKEY FIC
A lovestruck voyeur and a hyperphilliac find themselves chained up in a bathroom. With two saws, two tapes and three kidnapped bandmates, there is only one goal. The clock is ticking. Will Mikey face the consequences of his lustful actions and kill Pete, or let his brother and friends die?
Tags- Petekey, Pete Wentz, Mikey Way, Pete Wentz x Mikey Way, Saw 2004 AU, Chainshipping, Gerard Way Supporting Character, Frank Iero Supporting Character, Ray Toro Supporting Character, Matt Pelissier Mention, Blood, Self Mutilation, Bodily Harm, Death, Smoking, Profanity, Cocaine Mention, Alcohol Use, Drug Abuse, Sex Mention, Guns, Torture, Drowning, Stalking, Vomiting
Art by the incredibly talented @luvien0 !!!
Check out his post about it here!
20.9k words
Obscured darkness. Ripples. Bubbles. Drowning.
Panic rose in Pete’s chest as he opened his eyes, and simultaneously his lungs filled with a flood of dirty water. The faint taste of rot and sewage covered his tongue. He flung his arms to the side, a sharp clatter against his elbows causing him to open his mouth and gulp down more of the tainted liquid. He had to get out. His hands searched for something to help him escape the watery coffin, something to pull him up. Blindly reaching for a ledge half a foot or so above his face, he grabbed on and lifted himself from the fluid prison.
Spluttering and coughing, he sat up. He scanned his surroundings after spewing up at least a can's worth of water and bile into the soup he was sitting in. A bathtub. He was in a dirty white bathtub in a completely black room. The faint sound of water draining and the tick of a clock muddled in his water-clogged ears. He scrambled out of the tub. Sodden and filthy, he collapsed onto the floor, catching his breath before rising to his feet. Pawing at the walls and the cold metal of what he assumed were pipes, searching for any clue to his whereabouts. A scraping noise followed his every movement, and in the gloom of the dark room, he could barely make it out. He traced his hands down the pipe to the floor. He felt a thick, industrial chain wrap around the exposed pipe that ran along the ground level. ‘Fuck’, he thought to himself. He was chained here. He cried out into the abyss, frightened, frantic and a tad hysterical.
“HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME!”
A loud dragging sound somewhere in the room alerted him that he may not be alone.
“Is someone there?! HEY!”
He turned back to the corner, pacing as far as his leash would allow, his hands in his hair as he thought out loud. “Shit. I’m probably dead.”
From the other end of the room, a raspy voice sounded out to him.
“You’re not dead.”
He knew that voice. He was sure he knew that fucking voice. He turned to face where the voice came from, narrowing his eyes to try make out any figure in the midnight black. In the dark, everything further than an arm's width away seemed to be the same shade of nothingness. Something more than panic- a primal sort of fear washed over him as his breath quickened and he questioned the voice in an erratic tone.
“Who’s that? Who the fuck is that?!” He called into the room, hoping that he hadn’t imagined some dismembered voice of reassurance. The voice spoke again.
“There’s no use in yelling. I already tried that.” A tired, yet calm tone carried over feelings of condescension.
“Turn on the lights!” Pete begged, uncaring of the obvious rise in the pitch of his voice
“I would if I could.”
“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! WHERE AM I?!” Pete backed into the corner, touching the walls for support as he perched on an assortment of curved pipes that thrust into sharp, shattered tiled walls. He felt small and scared, like a prey animal whose mother had fled the scene for the first time. Cold and defenceless, damp and dismayed.
“I don’t know yet.”
A pungent and putrid odour filled Pete’s nostrils, almost causing him to gag. “What’s that smell?!” He exclaimed, covering his mouth and furrowing his brow in utter disgust.
“Shh! Hang on a second. I think I found something,” the voice echoed back. Signalling to Pete to stop his exaggerated boaking and gagging.
With a loud click, the humming of hospital-like fluorescent lights ignited a slow but steady stream of illumination from the voice’s side of the room to Pete’s. He squeezed his eyes shut; the sudden light felt biblically blinding as the darkness was consumed by clinical white overheads. Squinting in pain, he held his hands up to his face as if he was casting away the sun itself. He peeled his eyes open little by little amongst a whispered choir of soft groans. Adjusting to the light, his eyes scanned the room. Tiles coated every wall, a few were missing and a lot were discoloured with grime and shades of brown he didn’t want to think of the origin of. He shuddered at the thought, letting his eyes wander more.
On the other side of the room, there he stood. A familiar face staring back at him. He was taller, with light brown hair in a mess above a pair of white and black glasses. His face was angular, pretty even, with a sharp jawline and nose to complement it. The veins in his arms looked almost glossy under the gleam of beaming lights. He wore a tight T-shirt and even tighter black jeans. Upon closer inspection, the words ‘JOY DIVISION’ could be made out in faded white text on the sweaty, dulled and greying shirt. A smooth black leather belt with some sort of decorative buckle adorned his dangerously low-waisted jeans. Pete felt the hairs on his neck stand up, and for the second time, he thought to himself, ‘FUCK’
The man across from him stepped forward, his head bowed towards the floor, a sort of shell-shocked expression parting his lips. Horror consumed his features as Pete watched him. After a second's hesitation, his eyes followed the boy’s trail.
A still spreading pool of blood lay between them, and within that, a body. Lying face down, wearing only a pair of boxers and a now blood-soaked white T-shirt. He was bald, though his head hosted a disgusting reveal of brain matter splattered on the back of the skull. Pete was frozen; he’d never seen a dead body before, and now a gruesomely mutilated one lay only a few feet in front of him. He felt sick, dizzy and weak. The corpse grasped a gun in one hand and a tape player in the other.
“HOLY SHIT!” Pete screamed, breaking the silence and finally reacting to the scene before him. He hobbled over to the bathtub from where he had risen and began coughing and gagging up nothing. From the corner of his eye, he saw his apparent cellmate standing closer to the carcass, examining it with a look of fear and concern. Pete stops hacking up air, his stomach aching at the phantom release, and turns to face the body once more. His eyes dart from the corpse, to the walls, to the chains on both of their feet. He began to scream and wail, begging and yanking on his restraints.
“HELP!! SOMEBODY FUCKING HELP ME PLEASE!” He shouted, falling to the floor and using all his strength to pull at the chain.
“HELP ME PLEASE! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP!”
“No one can hear you.” The other chained prisoner replied, as if above the emotional response, his tone cold and bitter.
Rage prickles through Pete, but he suppresses it and stops wrestling with the chain; he tries to control his breathing, but the ragged heaviness is too strong for him to settle on command. He stood up from the dirty floor, his voice not yelling, but still clearly emotional.
“What the fuck is going on?”
“Calm down, just calm down.” The voice was smooth and gentle, as if talking to a tantrum-throwing toddler. “Are you hurt?”
Pete looks down at himself. The shackled ankle stinging slightly from the friction of metal rubbing against it, and his chest ached from the half-drowning attempt he endured, but otherwise, he was fine. Nothing too painful. “I don’t know… kinda, yeah!”
The voice spoke calmly, contrasting Pete’s frantic responses. “What’s your name?”
The question felt like a kick in the teeth. After 8 months, he was nothing more than a notch in his bedpost, a tally added to the ever-growing list of conquests. For 8 months, Pete hadn’t touched anyone else, let alone fucked them. He’d written songs and poems about a boy that didn’t even know his name. He knew he was obsessive, he knew he was in too deep, but for now, he had to swallow down the parts of him that wanted to bubble and scream, and play the game.
“My name is very fucking confused!” Pete jabbed sarcastically before demanding, “What’s your name? What’s going on here!?”
The brunette rolled his eyes, agitated by the answer he was given. He sighed loudly, “My name is Mikey- Michael Way. I’m a bassist. I just… woke up here. Just like you.” He reached up and wiped his face with the back of his hand, the heat from the lights brewing beads of sweat to form on his pale skin.
Pete turns away, facing the pipes that clung to the walls. He knelt back down in front of them, pulling at his chains once more, but with far less blind desperation and panic than his previous attempts. He winces as the cuff bites into his skin, welcoming a tut of disapproval from the other man in the room who was observing his behaviour.
“You recognise him? The body?”
Pete ignores the question, continuing to jerk the chain that tethered him to the rusted tubing. He doesn't turn to look at the dead man, nor the alive one interrogating him; he shakes his head, muttering sharply, “No.”
“What’s the last thing you remember?”
“Nothing!” Pete snaps; he turns his attention from the restraints and tosses a growling look halfheartedly over his shoulder. “I went to sleep in my shithole apartment and woke up in an actual shithole!” He threw his arms into the air, emphasising his prominent annoyance, as if the delivery of the statement wasn’t clear as day. He raised his left leg slightly, trying pathetically to pull his foot out from the cuff, sneaking a glance at his new roommate, who had shifted over to the other side of the wall and was slightly hunched, leaning on a pipe. He seemed relaxed, far too relaxed. “So what about you, huh? How’d you end up here?”
It was now Pete’s turn to do the interrogating. He watched as the boy shook his head, shrugging and stuttering on his words, “well there’s… there’s not much to tell, really.”
Pete paused his fight with the iron links and sat facing the other man, cocking his head. He continued, “I was on my way back to the bus, uh, after a show, and I- I don’t remember anything else”
Pete just sat there, the words leaving his head just as fast as they had entered, as he glanced over the third person in the room. The initial panic had settled into a gentler version of fear and shock; his voice softened as he spoke. “First dead body I've seen. They look different in real life. They don’t move…” He trailed off, eyes locked on the lifeless man between them.
Across the room, the taller man lowered himself onto the floor, leaning his back against the wall. He jiggled the chain that didn’t let him comfortably sit, muttering, “From the looks of these chains, someone didn’t want us to go very far.” He let go of the chain, letting the clattering sound ring against the ceramic tiles. Suddenly, Pete leaps up from the ground, fumbling with the fabric of his hoodie and t-shirt, lifting them to expose his bare abdomen and lower back. His panic was definitely back, although less intense; he examined himself, oblivious to the other boy already gawking too.
“Do you see any scars!?” Pete barked, turning on the spot to show as much skin as he could. His cellmate looked at him strangely, leaning forward to double check with a very prolonged gaze, “What?”
Pete turned to fully display his stomach, hiking up the bunched red fabric as far as it would go “Huh? This is what they do, man!” He gestured to his slightly toned, tanned midriff. “They kidnap you, drug you, and before you know it, you’re in a fucking bathtub, and your kidneys are on eBay!”
Mikey scoffed, rolling his eyes, “No one has taken your kidneys”
“How can you tell from all the way over there?” Pete thrust the hoodie back down his torso.
“Because you’d either be in terrible agony, or you’d be dead by now.”
“What are you, a surgeon?”
“Do you seriously think you’d still be alive with missing kidneys?”
“Maybe! I don’t fucking know!” Pete huffs, slumping back down to prod at the chain once again. The silence is thick in the room, the faint ticking and not-so-faint scratching of metal against porcelain are the soundtrack to the tense atmosphere.
“So, you gonna tell me your name, or what?”
Pete stands back up, turning to Mikey with a much calmer demeanor “Pete. Peter Wentz.”
Mikey gets to his feet, far less irritated than before. “Well, Pete-” He leans one arm out to lean against one of many oversized, oxidised ducts that patterned the tarnished walls. “-we need to think about why we’re here.” Pete simply watches, consoled, but still somewhat on edge. He hums and furrows his brow, trying to piece together any sort of clues that are scattered in his brain. He comes up short for answers.
“Whoever brought us here could’ve killed us by now”, Mikey began to pace, gesturing at nothing as he spoke. “But they didn’t. They must want something from us,” His eyes scan the room. “But what?”
Pete just shrugs in response, his gaze locked on the fetter that keeps him in this nightmare.
Mikey prattles on, mumbling and squinting at what seems like every tile in the walls and floor. He shuffles forward slightly, the abrading echo of his shackles piquing Pete’s interest. “What is it?”
“That clock.”
“What about it?” He focuses on it, seeing the hands ticking steadily along. Just shy of 1 o’clock.
“It’s brand new.”
“So?” Pete quizzes, not quite caught up on what Mikey is getting at.
“So? Someone obviously wanted us to know the time.” Mikey sighed, the irritation slowly coming to a simmer again.
Pete has a clueless sort of vacant look plastered on his face. He mulled over the observation as Mikey wandered as far as his chain would allow, tilting his head slightly at the battered metal door that caged them in the rank bathroom. Mikey’s voice cuts his pondering short.
“Wait, I think I can maybe reach the door!” He leans as far as he can, slamming against the reinforced barricade with his full body weight, but seeing as he weighs about the same as a bag of sugar, the door didn’t even squeak at the impact. Pete stands to watch the show, internally laughing at the poor attempt at jailbreak. He pauses, looking away from Mikey and down at his jeans. They were form-fitted usually, but they became skin-tight from the absorption of the bath contents, and clung to his legs like they were vacuum sealed on. Mikey continued to batter against the door, somehow still determined to break through the thick steel. He began to pat down his pockets, but his hoodie was empty. The front two pockets of his jeans were too, but in the back pocket, he felt it. Crinkling, something hard and rectangular pressed into him. He took a sharp breath and wriggled his fingers between the layers of damp, faded denim. Preparing for the worst, like a stick of dynamite or a tiny bed of nails, he fished out whatever it was. What he pulled out was far less threatening. A clear Ziploc bag, and within it, a sheet of paper. He unfolded the thin plastic, opening it to be met with an envelope, ‘PETER.’ scrawled in thick, black marker on the front. He stared at it in his hands, feeling a small weight inside. He toyed with the idea of telling Mikey, or throwing it in the tub behind him, but a larger part of him wanted to just rip it open, rip the bandaid off.
Just as he had settled on revealing the contents, Mikey looked over his shoulder. Pete tore the envelope, revealing a small cassette tape inside. He plucked the tape from the paper walls and held it with two fingers, studying it. Two simple words were written on the front label. ‘PLAY ME.’
Mikey turns away from the door, finally giving up on the idea of brute force being the escape route. He looked over, trying to see whatever Pete was examining.
“What is that?”
Pete didn’t answer; he just flipped the tape over in his hand, squinting at the same message written on the other side. “Excuse me!” Mikey’s impatience was the cue Pete needed to momentarily snap out of his inspection. He glanced up briefly “It’s a tape?” he more so questioned than stated, both startled and surprised at the discovery.
“Where did you find it?”
“It was in my pocket.”
Mikey mulled the thought over for a second before starting to dig through his own pockets. Like Pete, in his back pocket, there was an envelope proudly displaying ‘MICHAEL’ in the same lettering as Pete’s.
“It says play me,” Pete mumbled as Mikey emptied the contents of his letter into the palm of his hand. He held up a similar tape to Pete’s, the same message on the shell. Next was a singular bullet; he prods it, and his eyes linger on it for a few seconds before pocketing it, unsure of its purpose. Upon shaking the envelope once more, a small key is revealed. For the first time in this room, a smile graced his lips. He dropped to the floor instantly, trying to unlock the cuff around his ankle. The key will not turn. “C’mon, c’mon, come on!” he mumbles to himself. Pete watched on, noticing that the key seemed to be a dud.
“Throw it over here!”
Pete is greeted with a sceptical look, but Mikey holds up the key and launches it across the room. It clinks to the floor, on his side but not in his eyeline. He searches along the tiles and the moulded grout, finding it lying at the base of a cracked ceramic toilet. He picks up the tiny key, rushing to try it on his own shackle to no avail. He tries the padlock, clamping the chain to the pipe, but it doesn’t fit into the slim keyhole. “FUCK!” he slams the key onto the floor, cracking a browned tile with the sharp force of it.
“No?” Mikey asks, already knowing the answer.
Pete shakes his head, grumbling something under his breath before setting eyes on the body. The blood, the stained shirt, the obliterated skull, the gun.
The Walkman.
Pete lies down on his stomach, reaching his arms out as far as they can go, the pull on his ankle almost dislocating it as he stretches and groans. He couldn’t reach. The body was about three feet in front of him, and the outstretched arm even further than that.
“Use your hoodie, Pete.”
“What?” Pete tilts his head up to look puzzled at Mikey.
“Your hoodie, use it to get the tape thingy.”
Pete shuffles to his knees, pushing up with a moan as the iron around his foot clatters sharply into his bone. He looked down at himself, huffing and unzipping the ruby coloured hoodie, silently hoping he wouldn’t get any of the coagulating blood on his favourite garment. He wraps one of the sleeves around his hand, clenching his fist, then lies back down, stretching and throwing the hoodie towards the corpse’s cold hand. The zip sounded against the floor, the outstretched sleeve slipping right off the player. He reels the hoodie back in and attempts to catch it again; this time, it lands just shy of the Walkman.
“Come on, Pete, try it again!” Mkey encouraged, eagerly watching the scene unfold.
Pete tries again, only slightly tugging the cassette player from the rigor-mortis stiffened clasp of the deadman’s hand.
“It won’t work!” Pete pulls the hoodie back, getting back up on his knees in aggravation.
“Look around! There’s gotta be something else you can use!”
“There’s nothing!” Pete staggers to his feet, ready to accept defeat.
“Well, there must be something!”
Pete huffs, looking around him. Nothing. There’s nothing but dirt and grime and off-white flooring. No loose pipes or tools around him. “I’m not taking my jeans off,” he stated, wandering to the bathtub.
“I wouldn’t ask you-” The sound of jingling metal stops his sentence. Pete pulls up the plug from the tub, a long, beaded cord tied to the rubber. “Yes!” he whispers to himself, tying a knot around the arm of the hoodie. He slides onto the floor again, kneeling on all fours as he lines up his aim. The plug bounces off the floor, rolling on its axis away from the Walkman. Pete curses under his breath.
“Come on, man, you can do it!” Mikey encourages from across the room.
Pete inhales deeply, nodding to himself as he tries again, failing by an even further distance than before.
“Come on, Pete, again!”
Pete shoots Mikey a dagger, mumbling some sort of half-hearted insult as he slumps further, stomach down, onto the freezing ground, aiming for another attempt at shifting the player. He launches the hoodie and makeshift anchor across the floor, closing his eyes as he strains his arm, bracing himself for another shortcoming.
“YES!” Mikey exclaimed in victory as Pete’s eyes fluttered open. He’d done it. The rubber stopper had landed through the wired loop that poked up from the dead man’s hand. He glances at Mikey, who is smiling in relief. A look Pete had seen before in a far more intimate fashion. He shook his head to rid the Etch-A-Sketch thought, smiling to himself as he slowly drew the fabric closer to his body. Little resistance came from the carcass as the walkman travelled along the uneven path back to Pete. He untangled the cord from the wire, tossing his hoodie alongside it behind him, clambering to his knees, he opened the Walkman and placed his tape inside. He clicked the cover shut and pushed a few of the unfamiliar buttons before a crisp static began to play. Mikey stepped as close as he could, holding his breath to listen to the recording. A coughing, raspy voice soon filled the air.
“Rise and shine, Peter.-” The pair exchanged puzzled looks as the tape continued.
“- You’re probably wondering where you are. I’ll tell you where you might be. You might be in the room you die in!” Pete’s breath hitched as he gulped down the instant bile in his throat. Mikey stayed silent.
“- Up until now, you’ve simply sat on the sidelines, comfortably behind a screen, watching as the object of your desires lives out your dream life. But what do voyeurs see when they look in the mirror? Now, I see you as a strange mix of someone angry and apathetic. But mostly just pathetic. So are you going to watch yourself die today, Peter? Or do something about it?”
The tape rolls out with a crackle, humming as the audio goes flat. Pete stood still, the player winding in his hand as he stared blankly in front of him. Mikey shuffled slightly, going to say something as Pete pressed the stop button on the tape. “I- I don’t get it.”
Mikey doesn’t know what to say, though he feels a small urge to comfort the obviously shaken boy. He pulls his tape from his pocket, fumbling with it to try to catch Pete’s attention. It does. Pete lifts his head, glum and dejected. He peers at Mikey from behind his askew fringe, observing as he fidgets with his own message from the assumed captor. The air is thick, the silence is only pricked by the audible passing of time on the clock face and the soft slap of plastic against flesh as it’s tossed in Mikey’s palm.
“Throw me the player?”
“What?” Pete chirps back, instinctually clutching the Walkman tighter.
“Throw me the player.” Mikey demands rather than asks.
Pete pauses, thinking before replying, “No. You throw me your tape.”
Mikey sighs heavily, shooting Pete a dumbfounded look as he begins to pace in an oblong shape. He runs his hands through his hair and drags them down his face. “Look, we’re gonna have to work together if we want out of here, Pete. Now, just throw it to me.”
Pete immediately pulled the gadget to his chest, picking up a higher tone, “I’m not gonna risk breaking it! You throw me your tape!”
Mikey pauses, taking a shaking deep breath, catching his tongue before it can spit venom back at the other prisoner. “Fine,” he scoffed, raising his arm to throw the tape. It lands behind Pete, skidding to the hit off a patch of exposed concrete on the back wall. Pete mopes over to its landing place, kneeling to pick it up. He swaps out his own tape for Mikey’s, standing up and pressing play. The same hair-raising voice rang through the room.
“Michael Way, this is your wake-up call. Every day of your life, the tabloids and screaming fans say your music saves lives. Now you will be the one to take lives. Your aim in this game is to kill Peter.” Pete looks from the recorder to Mikey, wide-eyed, taking a step backwards as the tape continues.
“You have until six on the clock to do it. There’s a man in the room with you. When there’s that much poison in your blood, the only thing left to do is shoot yourself.” The message is interrupted by a wheezing, hacking cough on the recording, both listeners raising an eyebrow at the unexpected interval.
“There are ways to win this hidden all around you. Just remember, X marks the spot for the treasure. If you do not kill Pete by 6 o’clock, then Gerard, Raymond and Frank will die, Michael. And I'll leave you in this room to rot. Let the game begin.” The audio sizzles as the static muffles the commencement, shortly rolling into a humming quiet as the tape ends. Pete presses pause on the player, looking Mikey in the eye with a cocktail of fear, sadness and anger stirring within him.
“Give me that. Now.” Mikey orders. Pete doesn't hesitate as he throws the Walkman over the stiffening body into Mikey’s hands. Mikey rewinds the tape, pressing it to his ear as he listens.
“Gerard, Raymond and Frank will die, Michael. And I'll leave you in this room to rot-”
“Any idea who that is?” Pete whispers, frightened of the unknown answer. “He knows us.” He adds.
“Wait a minute.” Mikey holds up his hand to shush Pete’s rambling and rewinds the tape once more.
“What do you think? Probably some kinda joke, right?”
“SHHH! SHH!”
“Let the game begin.” plays from the Walkman, the volume now cranked up. Mikey whispers a quick “Listen”, instructing Pete to keep his trap shut for a minute more. On the tape, in a faint, hushed tone that’s riddled with static, the cruel, scratchy voice murmurs, “Follow your heart.” Mikey stops the tape.
“What the fuck does ‘Follow your heart’ mean?” Pete questions, his face screwed up in confusion. Mikey scans the room, searching every surface for something heart-shaped. Splattered in blotches of streaky brown, he spots it. On the front of the toilet tank is a finger-painted uneven heart, in the same faecal colour as the other smearings on the porcelain throne.
“There! Right next to you, on the toilet!” He points, jumping at his grand revelation and inviting Pete to take a gander at his discovery. Pete looks over to the toilet, stepping forward and bending down in front of it, his hands carefully placed on the least excrement-encrusted parts of the rim. He looks down into the cocktail of piss, shit and God knows what else that brewed to the lip of the bowl, it seemed to be almost breathing, like a rising tide. The urge to vomit hit like a punch to the gut, but he swallowed the liquid fire back down his raw throat and stared into the brown sewage, unsure of what exactly he was meant to be looking for. Mikey gestures as if to say ‘hurry up’ as he ushers him to scavenge for the next clue. “Come on, Pete!”
Pete looks up from the blend of muck, ‘you’ve gotta be kidding me’ nonverbally expressed by the look on his pale face. Mikey looks on expectantly, and Pete sighs. ‘I guess I'm doing this,’ he thinks to himself, grimacing and plunging his hand into the wet waste. He swirls his hand, pushing deeper into the biohazard as he gagged and spluttered spit.
“Oh God,” he mutters between sore, dry heaves, shortly pulling his arm out and desperately trying to shake some of the shit from his hand in pure disgust.
“Anything?” Mikey asks expectantly.
“No solids!” Pete grumbles, disgusted and looking around for something to wipe his contaminated hand with, still convulsing on his knees.
“Take off the lid!” Mikey points, losing patience. “Come on, man!”
Pete shoots him a perplexed look, stunned by the audacity of the man that isn't covered in shit, piss and bile. He stands up with a huff, lifting the lid from the tank and placing it down on the toilet seat. There was actual water inside, despite its pale brown shade, along with a black plastic bag. Pete fishes it out -taking an extra few seconds to try rinse the hardening cast of faeces from his hand and forearm- and holds it up to Mikey, clearly unimpressed.
“I really wish I had checked in there first.” He stated, lowering the bag.
Mikey smiled faintly, “What is it?”
Pete tears into the bag, reaching in and pulling out two seemingly new hacksaws. He drops the bag to the floor with a minute thud, dropping to his knees and picking up his chain. He places one of the tools to the side of him and begins to saw at the restraint. Mikey watches for a moment before calling over.
“Hey!” Pete turns around to see Mikey with his arms crossed. “Mind passing me the other one!?”
Pete grabs the other discarded implement, swivelling on his knees and carefully aiming and throwing it to Mikey. It skelped off a pipe just off the side of him. Seeing this, he rushes over and picks it up, sitting down to mirror Pete’s actions of trying to free himself from the iron confinement that latched to his ankle. As Mikey’s back is turned, Pete picks up the discarded bag and quickly tosses it into the bathtub beside him, shortly returning to sawing his own chain furiously. A few minutes pass, and Pete has only dulled the teeth of the saw, barely making a scratch on the tough metal. The blade snaps as he applies more pressure, and his temper explodes like a volcanic eruption.
“FUCK!” He bawls, enraged. His reaction turns violent as he batters the broken tool against the thick pipe in front of him. “FUCK!” he repeats as he launches the useless instrument, flying across the room. It smacks into a clouded mirror high up on the wall, sending pieces shattering across the floor. Mikey glances over to see what exactly the commotion is, returning to sawing his shackle after a quick look at the tantrum. Pete thuds down on the floor, his breathing heavy and rapid as he puts his head in his hands, digging his nails in as he squeezes in frustration.
Mikey gives up about a minute later, turning to slump his back against the wall. He sits with the saw in his lap, inspecting it as realisation bubbled to the surface in his mind. He holds it up, turning it to study it before he shakes his head, understanding now what the purpose of the hacksaw really is.
“He doesn’t want us to cut through our chains,” he states, looking up from the sharp, serrated blade.
“What?”
“He wants us to cut through our feet.”
Pete raises his eyebrows, meeting Mikey's eyes across the pool of blood that had begun to noticeably smell of metal, ignoring the third member of the party, he tilted his head in bewilderment.
“I think I might know who’s done this to us.” Mikey mumbles just loud enough for Pete to hear.
“What did you say!?” Pete staggers to his feet, immediately accusatory.
“It’s not someone I know personally! It’s just… someone I know of.”
“Tell me, who is it!?” Pete demands, throwing his arms up and pacing around.
“The last I heard, the police still hadn’t caught him.”
Pete jerks his hand, scrunching his brow and nose as he presses Mikey to continue.
“The only reason I know is because I was a suspect-”
“WHAT!?” “What the fuck?”
“Sit down, I’ll start from the beginning."
Pete obliges, distrustful and still puzzled about the whole thing.
“The newspapers started calling him the Jigsaw Killer, something about him carving a puzzle piece into his victims.” Pete looks somehow even more confused; he was completely oblivious to the whole thing.
“Actually, technically speaking, he’s not really a murderer. He’s never killed anyone.” Mikey continued.
“What?”
“He finds ways for the victims to kill themselves.”
“How the fuck do you know this?”
“I was on tour with my band, a support act for a few bigger bands. I was at the merch tent, meeting a few fans and signing some stuff with my brother, a journalist for Kerrang! I think? Something like that. She came over for an interview; she’d been following the tour, so I'd seen her around a few times, and she was asking questions about the setlist and stuff. I remember this kid cut in, he’s been at basically every show, always at the barrier. I’ve tossed him countless picks and a few sticks from the drummer, so he was a familiar face. I let him interrupt, nice kid. He asked for a specific song, and I said I'd see what I could do for him, and then two cops showed up, asking for me. They ushered me away, leading me just outside the fences where the buses pulled in and started questioning me on my whereabouts a few nights before. We’d had an off day in the new city we rolled into, so I was just at a few bars and ended up at a hotel downtown. I told them that, but with no concrete proof, they asked to take me down to the station. I told them I had to be on stage in a few hours, but they said it would only take an hour or two. My brother and my friend Ray came up to the gate to see what was going on, and the police said they were taking me for questioning at the station and to maybe try to find a stand-in for the show.” Mikey rubs his face, trying to recount the details as best he can. Pete stared at him like he was an alien, not finding any dots to connect in the story so far.
“We got in the car and arrived at the police station after like 10 minutes. I was told to wait in the interrogation room. I sat in there for about 15 minutes, and one of the cops - the scarier guy- came in. I asked why I was being questioned, and he pulled out two evidence bags. Picks I’d thrown into the crowd through the tour were in them. They asked if they were mine, and I said yeah, they have my name printed on them, so I couldn’t really deny it. I tried to explain that I give them to fans at the end of a show, but he cut me off with more accusations. His partner came in, saying how my lawyer had arrived. I hadn’t called anyone, so my brother or the tour manager or something must’ve arranged an attorney for me. Anyway, the cop left me with the lawyer guy, and I explained that I didn't know how my prints would show up at a crime scene. He was taking notes on what I was saying the whole time. He asked if I had any proof of my alibi, if I was with anyone who could consolidate it, and I had to tell him I was hooking up with someone. A fan I’d met at the bar, I didn’t keep his number, so I had no way to contact the guy, and I didn’t remember his name. I was really drunk. He told me I had to bite the bullet and tell the police my alibi now, because no one would believe me later. I didn’t exactly want to admit that, I didn’t want it to get out to tabloids or anything like that because I’d- I’d taken a lot of coke that night.”
Mikey twiddled his fingers, ashamed of admitting this to what basically is a stranger to him. Pete looked through his curling fringe, yet another verbal kick to the teeth was vocalised in passing. Mikey didn’t remember this hookup’s name, so no wonder he doesn’t recognise him. He felt that familiar sinking feeling form a pit in his stomach. He wanted to shout at him, tell him what an inconsiderate prick he is, some sharp insult to vent his frustrations on just being a past body to someone he wanted, someone he chased after like a race dog seeing a rabbit. Hot tears prickled in his chocolate brown eyes, but he didn’t dare let them fall. Mikey cleared his throat and continued, resting his hands on his knees.
“The lawyer left. Probably to talk to the police and tell them the name of the bar or something. They came in after about a half hour. I was scared shitless, I had just about two hours till soundcheck and thought I was definitely gonna spend a night in a cell. The band was going to the next stop on the tour after this show, so I’d be stranded with no phone or wallet. I couldn’t get home or back to the bus if they kept me in. Eventually, the two officers came back in, saying they checked out my alibi, and I asked if I was free to go. They asked me to stay and listen to a girl’s testimony. I said I really had to get back to the venue, but they kinda ordered me to stay to see if it ‘triggered something’. I watched through the glass as the girl started talking. She had been the only person to survive the Jigsaw Killer. She said what happened to her, some sort of contraption was locked on her head, it would rip her jaw right off her face if she didn’t complete the trial. She had to gut a guy for the key. She was told the guy was dead, but she said he was breathing, looking at her as she stuck the knife in his stomach. She got the key out just in time; the thing on her head went off just as she managed to get it out of her mouth. She was really shaken up, man, she had cuts around her mouth, and she looked ill. It was awful, hearing that. I can't imagine what she went through.” Mikey sniffled a bit, pushing a deep breath out from his mouth as he readjusted himself on the floor, his knees now pulled to his chest.
“The cops said the guy, the cellmate as the girl called him, had opioids in his system, paralysing him. They asked if the girl was a drug addict and asked if she thinks that’s why she was chosen. She was crying, she couldn’t speak, she just nodded. The cop in the room with her asked if she was grateful. And she said the Jigsaw Killer helped her. She was sobbing into her hands, and the officer in the room with me was staring at me as I sat there, completely shocked. They drove me back to the venue at that point. I had an hour till soundcheck and had to scramble for my bass and try to push down what I was feeling. Before I got out of the car, the bigger cop said something to me that still sticks with me. He said he had arrested a singer at a smaller venue in the city who had been involved with underage fans. He said musicians all drink from the same water when touring. That was 5 months ago, I've not heard anything apart from in the local news when passing through a few cities.”
Pete sits in his corner, staring at the floor as he digests Mikey’s story. He looks across to Mikey, asking in a soft voice, “Are you sure it's him?”
“Yeah. I’m sure.”
Pete grows frenzied for what feels like the millionth time in their few hours in the bathroom. He runs his hands through his hair, struggling to swallow the accusations that soon flowed from his mouth. “How do I know you’re telling the truth!?” He points at Mikey’s surprised face that followed Pete’s outburst. “You could be the bastard that put me here!”
Mikey rolls his eyes, the flame of anger and frustration now infecting him too. He bites his lip, shaking his head and exhaling to try to put out the fire that had ignited within him. He speaks lowly and slowly, “I’m in the same exact situation as you are, Pete.”
“WRONG!” Pete stands up from his place on the floor, kicking his chained food out to allow more length. “WRONG! You’ve got one thing I don't: Information!” He shifts as far as he can, trying to make himself seem bigger like a frightened cat, pointing over as he shouts across their unwilling setting. “You know who did this!” He picks up a shard of the smashed mirror from his earlier tantrum and holds it up in an attempt to intimidate Mikey, to which Mikey rolls his eyes. “Now you either tell me what is really going on-” Mikey smirks at the performance, a jolly good show really, seeing as he’s chained up about 20 feet away from him. “-Or I’ll cut you with this! You hear me!? I’ll cut-” Pete stops himself, paying attention to the makeshift blade in his hands, flipping it over, studying it, then back over again, his head sharply turning to the mirror on the wall.
Mikey notices that Pete’s poor threats have come to an early conclusion, lifting his head from staring at the floor, the only thing he could think to do that would conceal his amusement at Pete’s dramatics. He looks between the mirror and the now focused man on the other side of the room. “What?”
Pete looks over, his eyebrows slightly pushed down, “It’s a two-way mirror.”
Pete places the shard on the floor carefully, rummaging in the corner of the room and coming back to Mikey’s direct eyeline with a loose padlock. He lifts it as if pitching a baseball, sending it full force into the rest of the remaining mirror, sending sharp pieces cascading across the grubby ground. He reaches down, this time picking up a part of the mostly destroyed mirror frame and launches it against the final sliver of reflective glass that remained on the now dented wall. The rest of the glass breaks away, leaving nothing but a quarter of the frame mounted to the wall. Behind the deceptive reflections is another sheet of reinforced glass, and imprisoned behind the small cuboid cut out from the concrete was a camera, the red light recording light bright and steady as Pete steps closer. Mikey stands up, following suit and moving closer to get a better look at their electronic voyeur.
Pete starts shouting like a madman, waving an accusatory finger at the device. “Can you hear me in there, huh!?” His voice was rich with blatant sarcasm as he continued striking a supposedly threatening, violent pose. “I’m having a blast!” He snatches another piece of the sharp debris and sends it to strike the glass. “This is the most fun I’ve had without lubricant!” He grabs another piece of broken glass, walloping it against the protective layer of the camera’s now uncovered hiding spot. “Make sure you’re getting everything!” He remarks, retrieving another fragmented chip from the floor, aiming to throw another small rebellion against their watcher.
“That’s not going to break the glass.” Mikey scoffs.
“You just wanna leave it running on us!?”
“Well, you can’t stop it.” Mikey gestures to the unscathed panel, “That’s why we can’t cut through these chains, why you won’t break the glass. Every possible angle has been thought out by him!” He begins to line up the pins on the mental corkboard, connecting the dots on the elaborate setup. “This is shitty, but it’s brilliant. A brilliant design.” He mumbles under his breath. Pete swirls Mikey's words around his head; he’s far too focused on flinging whatever he can at the glass, but he quickly runs out of things to throw. “You sound like you admire this prick.” He replies, chuckling in disbelief.
“To overcome something, you’ve got to understand what a perfect engine it is. That’s how doctors fight disease, that’s how you write a meaningful song.”
“Not everything’s about your shitty music.”
Mikey casts him a look of disbelief, a small pang in his chest is covered with a matter-of-fact tone as he glances up to the ceiling. “The tape told us to find an X. It has to be somewhere in this room. Help me find it.”
Pete doesn’t move a muscle, a silent protest against the request for his aid. Mikey scans the walls as Pete becomes angrier. How the fuck can he stay levelheaded in a moment like this? It’s irritating, really. The whole facade of undisturbed composure will surely falter soon, right?
“How can you be all calm and collected when your band is probably getting tortured by some freak out there!?” Pete burst, clenching his fists in frustration as he snapped.
“ I AM thinking about that!” Mikey roars back, now facing Pete. “I’ve been thinking about the last thing I said to Frank.” He adds somberly.
Pete immediately softens, guilt slowly rising within him. No one would notice he was gone, he’s off tour, he hasn’t seen his friends in weeks, and his family for longer. But Mikey does, he’s got people that are suffering with him. He silently thanks his lucky stars that his loved ones are, to the best of his knowledge, removed from this. He regrets not calling more. The iniquity he feels for Mikey urges him to comfort him.
“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. He probably feels the same way.”
“No, he doesn’t, he was right.”
“What did you say to him?” Pete speaks softly, encouraging Mikey to get it off his chest.
Mikey looks up from his focal point on the ground before him, pushing down the urge to cry. His voice cracks as he begins the story: “It was just me and him on the bus. My brother was spending the night on another band’s bus, and the other guitarist, Ray, was at a bar, I think? I don’t really remember. We’d just arrived in Chicago for the next show. I was in my bunk, and he opened the curtain, looking like he’d seen a ghost or something. He said he thought there was someone outside the bus. I told him it was probably the crew or something, but he was adamant it was something else. I called him a pussy and went out to check while he sat in the kitchen near the door. I couldn’t see anything. I thought he was just overreacting because it was only us, and he’s an anxious guy. I told him that there wasn’t anyone out there and to quit being a baby. We’re writing and coming up with new stuff for the next album, and we’re butting heads a lot, so we’re not really on the best of terms right now. He blew up at me and called me a dick, and we were arguing stupidly, throwing insults left, right and centre. I got a text on my phone, and I checked it as he was going on about how inconsiderate I am, which is kinda fair at that moment. It was a text from a guy I'd met a few nights before, telling me I could come meet him now, so I started putting my shoes on to leave, which really annoyed Frank. He asked if I was really going to leave him alone when someone was sneaking around the bus, and I-” Mikey’s voice wavers. He takes a deep breath,h and his shoulders slump as if he’s starting to fold in on himself.
“I told him I didn't care what happened to him. That was the last thing I said to him as I walked out the door.”
“Jesus man, I’m sorry it went down that way.” Pete comforts, feeling out of his depth on the situation.
“We used to be best friends before this stupid album thing,” Mikey mutters, searching his pockets for his wallet. He finds it in a back pocket of his jeans, pulling it out, opening the gatefold and flicking through a few small photos he kept in the card flaps of his wallet. He smiles bittersweetly at a photo of himself with Frank. They were sitting on the couch in the Eyeball Records house, each holding up a beer, smiling into the camera as they huddled close, with an arm over each other's shoulder. He looked through the other photos, one of Ray and him jamming together that his brother had taken, a photo of him and his parents, and one of him and Gerard dressed as Batman and Robin as kids, which caused him to chuckle to himself, relieving some of the heaviness he felt.
“You wanna see the band?”
Pete nods, trying not to show that he already knows exactly what all the members look like already. Mikey tosses the wallet over, and Pete luckily catches it before sitting down to look over the printed images. Mikey follows after, sitting and leaning against the wall, his head raised to the heavens as he closes his eyes to try and breathe away the tears that threatened to spill from his warm hazel eyes. Pete flicks through the prints, commenting in passing as he looks through each photo. “That Mohawk is definitely something.” He chuckles, seeing the couch photo.
“Yeah, it was. Thankfully, he’s gotten rid of it now.” Mikey laughs, “There’s a picture of us all on the first day of tour in the back. My family back home always want one sent to them, but I kept the spare.”
Pete riffles through the images in Mikey's wallet, searching for this full band photo.
“It’s my favourite picture of us all together, sure, there’s photo shoots and stuff, but we all rarely take a photo together that's just for us.” Mikey rambles, a smile working its way across his lips. Pete passes the childhood snapshots and teenage memories and reaches the final picture. It’s a band photo alright, but not the one Mikey described it as. Instead of smiles and arms flung round each other in camaraderie, it shows a polaroid of 3 men bound and gagged, fear evident in their wide eyes. Under the developed image, there’s a puzzle piece scrawled in black marker. Pete takes a sharp inhale, not expecting such a sight and flips the film over. Written across the back, this time in white pen, is a message.
‘X marks the spot. Sometimes you see more with your eyes shut.’
Pete tries to keep his face neutral, hiding the disturbance that was trying to fight its way through his blank expression, as Mikey stares absently at the ceiling, he folds it up and puts it in his jeans pocket.
“It’s uh- it’s not here.”
Mikey is disturbed from his momentary nostalgia-fuelled relief, “What?”
“The photo you’re talking about…it’s not here.”
Mikey looks surprised. He reaches his hand out for Pete to toss the wallet over, “Really? Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” Pete throws the worn leather back over to Mikey, instinctively placing his hand over the pocket where he concealed the removed evidence and subtly looking for the mentioned ‘X’ within the bathroom.
Mikey rakes through all the images and scraps of artist passes and gas station receipts left in his wallet, “He- he must have taken it! I-”
Pete sits down on the edge of the tub, looking at the message from inside the walls of tarnished white acrylic. Mikey stands up, grazing his fingers on the plumbing beside him, looking up and around the room. “X marks the spot… X marks the spot… we need to search this room again, solve for X.” He looks across the room to see Pete hunched over the bath, “What are you doing over there!?” he questions.
Pete ignores him, turning the Polaroid around in his hands.
“Excuse me!?” Mikey bellowed, now catching Pete’s attention for a fleeting moment.
“Just because I'm stuck in this room with you doesn't mean I have to report to you every 10 seconds,” Pete mutters, glancing up, then returning to his secret inspection of the photograph.
“I really don’t see the point in us not helping each other.” Mikey sighs exasperatedly.
Pete drops the photo into the bath, standing up in an exaggerated huff, “Well, what exactly do you want me to do, huh? I’m on a leash!”
“That’s exactly why we need to talk! We need to think!”
“I am thinking!”
“Well then, don’t keep me in the dark about what you’re thinking, Pete!” Mikey snaps.
Finally, the cogs start turning in Pete’s head. Something about the sentiment strikes him.
“Turn off the lights.”
“What?” Mikey inquires, his eyes playing table tennis between Pete and the lightswitch.
“Turn them off now, please!”
“Why?” Mikey continues to probe, totally lost on why this sudden request is being barked at him.
“Just turn them off for a second!”
Mikey casts Pete an odd look, but obliges. He treads backwards towards the switch and reaches over and flips the lights off. Pete looks around, and Mikey shortly follows, but they both don’t find anything of note.
“This isn’t gonna help us.” Mikey remarks only to be shushed by Pete.
Beside Mikey, painted on the wall, the letter X shines brightly, glowing almost. Mikey doesn’t see anything and shrugs, but Pete spots it.
“Jesus! Look behind you!”
Mikey swivels to look, surprise evident in his tone as he discovers the illuminated omen.
“How come we didn’t see this before?” Mikey steps closer to the graffiti.
“The lights in here hadn’t charged it yet. It must be glow-in-the-dark paint or something!”
Mikey turns back and turns the lights back on, causing both of them to wince at the sudden change from pitch black to blinding white. Mikey grabs the hacksaw that he had discarded on the floor and trudges over to the patch of wall where the X was painted. He bangs the metal handle of the saw against the ceramic, sending shattered white shards to fall like hail. He breaks through after completely obliterating the tiles and chipping some of the concrete. Like the camera, inside a hidden drilling and carving is a gift for him. He reaches in, careful to avoid the sharp edges of the half-broken tiles that clung to the wall, and pulls out a small brown box. He looks at Pete with a small grin on his face. He sits down on the floor and places the box in front of him. He can’t believe it. They found the treasure.
“Open it!” Pete chirps excitedly, practically jumping up and down like a child in a candy store. Mikey holds up the box, turning it to face Pete. There’s a lock on the front. The pair just stare at each other, both of them over the mind games the tape had instructed them to complete. It dawns on Mikey, “The key!”
“What?”
“The key! The one from my envelope, where is it?”
Pete begins to hunt for the small silver key, scanning the floor. “Where the fuck..” he whispers to himself, “Here!” He retrieves the key that lay half covered by a piece of the destroyed mirror in the corner of the room and chucks it over to Mikey. It lands just shy of his lap. He snatches the key from the floor and unlatches the lock. Inside are a few seemingly random objects. First, he holds up a cell phone, smiling in relief.
“Cell phone. The most beautiful invention on this planet!” Pete cheers, wearing the same grin.
Mikey chuckles and holds up the next item, one of two loose cigarettes, to which Pete lets out a joyful laugh, “Make that the second most beautiful invention!” He reaches his hand out for Mikey to throw it over, “Gimme that.”
“Are you joking? You're gonna put something you found in this room? In your mouth?”
Pete takes a short pause to think about it, eventually landing on “Yes, I’m willing to risk it!” as his answer. “Give me that sweet, sweet cancer.”
Mikey ignores his request, throwing both cigarettes and the white, brand-new lighter to the side of the box. What’s left inside is a small, neatly folded note at the bottom of the velvet-lined box, ‘Shh Rockstar’ typed in a typewriter font on the top of the creased paper.
“I don’t care. I really don’t. Give me one of those!” Pete continues to beg for a smoke as Mikey reveals the message inside for his eyes only.
‘The cigarettes are harmless, I promise. Smoking is only poisonous when it ends in bloodshed. Think about this, Michael - you don’t need a gun to kill Peter.’
“May I please have a cigarette?” Pete pesters on. Once again, Mikey ignores his plea and instead flips open the phone. “I’m trying the police.” He dials the number only to hear a strange beeping noise as if the phone has no service. He tries again, only to find the same result. Confused, he flips the phone shut. “This phone…” he mutters.
“What about it?” Pete asks.
“It was meant to receive calls, not make them.” He pauses for a second, remembering, “Wait… this has happened before.”
“What do you mean?”
“Last night, when I was going back to the bus-”
“Yeah?”
“- I… I thought I was alone, but I'm sure someone else was there. There was this, like, flash of light, just off to the side. It spooked me. I looked around, but I didn't see anything. I saw a payphone. Mine was almost dead, and I wanted to call my brother and ask if I could bunk with him on the other bus because it was late. I didn’t want to see Frank. The same thing happened; the line was busy. I continued walking. The payphone was like a block away from where the bus was parked. I tried my cell again, but it started beeping when I called Gerard, and it died. I was frustrated, and I decided to just head for my own bus and deal with a probably drunk Ray and a pissed-off, snarky Frank. I reached the bus door and decided to take a second to prepare before opening the door. I got this- this sinking feeling. Like something was watching me. Like something was lurking around the back of the bus, so I fumbled for my keys to open the door. I was going as fast as I could and- and something ran at me.” He spoke vacantly, as if he were far off in his memory.
“That- that thing. It was waiting for me.” He exhaled sharply, then glanced over to Pete. He was just standing there, staring at him in a peculiar way. Something seemed a bit off.
“How did you know to turn the lights off?” Mikey asked, suspicion carrying the question.
“Who cares? It worked, didn’t it?” Pete replies, shifting on his feet.
“Yeah, but how did you know?”
Pete furrows his eyebrows, thinking before replying. “Uh… Instinct!” His tone was anything but believable.
“Instinct?” Mikey retorted, not buying Pete’s explanation one bit.
“Yeah.”
“You know what?” Mikey looks down at the box and then back to Pete, “You’re a terrible liar.”
“You say that like you know me.”
Mikey speaks calmly, but there is clear anger bubbling beneath the surface, “What else aren’t you telling me?”
Pete laughs, a cocky and sarcastic cackle rings through the air.
“Well, um, let’s see. A few years ago, my best friend Patrick punched me because I pissed in his shower. I didn’t tell you about that. I didn’t tell you that the last person I slept with-”
Mikey lowers his head into his hands; the onslaught of stupid tidbits about Pete was beginning to drive him up the wall.
“- Who was apparently in a ‘dangerous and fearless’ band, dumped me because he was afraid to admit he liked boys! Uh, I haven’t told you that my-”
“JUST STOP IT!” Mikey snaps, his head now pointed and focused at Pete as though he were aiming a rifle. “You knew to turn off these lights.”
Pete turns away, mumbling “Whatever” under his breath.
Mikey stands up, bitterness dripping from his lips. “I’m dealing with a fucking juvenile!”
The phrase cut deep for Pete. Immature, childish, foolish Pete. He’s reached his breaking point. “You really wanna know, Mikey!?”
“Yeah!”
Pete leans over the bathtub, retrieving a photo and hurling it across the room. “Here it is!” he calls as the Polaroid lands a few feet out of Mikey’s reach. Mikey looks down at it, glancing quickly at Pete, then lies stomach down on the floor and uses the box of treasures to pull it closer. He just manages to grasp it, sitting up and looking upon a picture of Gerard, Ray and Frank all imprisoned and gagged with yesterday’s eyeliner smeared down their cheeks.
“Oh God…” he whispers shakily, turning the print over in his hands. Pete’s eyes are trained to the floor, shame soon overtaking the slowly cooling vexation he felt moments prior. He couldn’t look at Mikey; he couldn’t bear to see the tears run down his pretty face.
“Where- where did you get this?” Mikey asked, small and weary.
Pete sighs, matching the tone, “It was in your wallet. Behind the photo of you and your brother as kids.”
“Why didn’t you show me this before?”
“I couldn’t do it.”
Mikey’s tears turned into shaky sobs, all attempts at composure failing as he ran his finger over his brother’s terrified face.
“I’m sorry, Mikey.”
Pete’s guilt begins to bite at him from the ankles up. He sits on the bath ledge and lowers his head, leaning forward to bury it in his hands as his elbows press hard into his knees. The weight of culpability made his head feel like a boulder. He felt heavy, wrong and dirty as he listened to his cellmate cry out for his brother and friends. He lifts the rockish weight from his palms as he notices the wailing draw to short sniffles. He watches as Mikey shakes and wipes his cheeks and eyes with his hands, turning to face the surveillance camera.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THEM YOU BASTARD?!” He shouted like a madman, waving the photograph around as he yelled. He knelt, hunched and folded in on himself, blubbering as he threatened the camera incoherently. He stared at the image in his hands; His brother's hair was brushed back out of his face. He never wears it like that. He’d never let his eyeliner smear that badly either. Ray’s hair was flattened on one side, as if he had been lying down; it looked so foreign compared to the perfectly styled curls he usually sported. And Frank? The off-white rag separating the rows of teeth was speckled with ruby around the corners of his mouth. Out of all of them, despite the fear that could be sensed through the developed film, he just looked done. As if he was prepared to see the pearly gates and shake the hand of God. The look of acceptance on his friend’s face only made him bawl harder. He’d never get the chance to apologise. They would both die knowing their last words to each other were shouted, not spoken.
Across the room, Pete let a few stray tears cross his lashline. He knew those people. Sure, it had only been a few paths barely crossing, but they were kind to him. They gave him the time of day as a smaller musician and as a fan. He didn’t care what happened to him, but he cared for Mikey and the people he loved, even if that wasn’t him. He looked through his fingers, seeing Mikey wipe his face and take a deep, ragged breath.
“Okay, I’ve got to think now.” Mikey quietly instructed himself. Pete peeked through his fingers to observe.
An idea struck Mikey as if it were a lightning bolt. He took another sharp breath and grabbed one of the cigarettes that lay like sleeping soldiers in the box in front of him. He looks to the camera, then to the corpse lying in a flood of stale bleedings and finally at Pete, whose head has returned to rest in his upturned hands. He reaches over towards the dead man as quietly as he can, dipping the lightable end of the cigarette in the poisoned blood that surrounds the stiff remnants of a bullet to the head. He retreats back, placing the poisoned smoke back in the box, the ‘Shh Rockstar’ note between the infected cigarette and its untampered twin, acting as a flimsy divider between life and death. Mikey stands up from the ground, his chain clinking against the tile, alerting Pete to look up.
“What are you doing?”
Mikey wordlessly goes to the lightswitch, flicking off the all-revealing light. The bathroom was plunged into darkness, causing Pete to panic.
“Hey! What the hell are you doing!?”
“Pete, listen to me,” Mikey whispers, praying the camera won’t pick up on his hushed tone. “I need you to play along with me on this.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I need you to pretend to die. Fake your death for the camera.”
“Why the fuck would I do that?”
“To escape!” Mikey quietly shouted, catching himself before he actually vocalised it at the volume he wanted to.
“How is that going to help, Mikey?"
“Listen to me, I got a note in that box. It told me that the cigarettes are fine, but if I dipped them in the blood, then I wouldn’t have to shoot you. That’s what I was doing when you looked up, putting the poisoned one in the box, away from the normal cigarette. C’mon, Pete, this could be our only chance.”
Pete thinks it over for a while, it seemed like a pretty foolproof plan, that is, if Mikey didn’t give him the tainted one.
“How do I know you won’t just poison me?”
“Why would I do that? I just met you, Pete. I don’t want you dead.”
Pete bit his lip; he was thankful for the darkness in this moment, because that phrase felt like he had gone 10 rounds with Mike Tyson. That’s right. They just met today. They are strangers. Pete doesn’t know his birthday, where he was born, his brother's full name, every song his band has released, or what he looks like naked in the faint glow of a clip-on light in a tour bus. Strangers. Complete strangers who met by chance, here today, in a dingy, scummy bathroom. Pete swallowed his pride, suffocating every part of himself that wanted to call Mikey a liar, to call him out for playing dumb, to call him an asshole and hope they both died together in this room. Instead, he answered with “Okay. I’m in.”
Mikey breathed a sigh of relief, quickly recounting the plan to Pete. “Okay, I’m gonna ask you if you still want that cigarette, reach into the box and pick up the one that isn’t dipped in blood and throw it over with the lighter. Have a few puffs, act relieved, then pretend to die and stay dead. Got it?”
“Got it.”
“Good.”
Mikey flipped the lightswitch, both men shielding their eyes from the invasive illumination. They adjusted to the light, both standing awkwardly with an island of dead meat between them. Mikey looked to the camera, seeing the red light’s steady appearance, he cleared his throat and turned to face Pete.
“So, uh, you still want that cigarette?”
“Um- yeah! Sure!” Pete feigned excitement as he put his trust in Mikey not to kill him via deadman’s blood infection.
Mikey made a show of reaching into the box, stretching his arm out and riffling around as if he was looking for the right one. He grabbed the undipped cigarette and tossed it to Pete, followed by the lighter. They land just before Pete, who takes a shaky deep breath as he reaches down and picks up the cigarette and the lighter. He takes a quick look at the lightable end, noticing no red residue; he blindly trusts Mikey and places the smoke between his parted lips. He casts a quick glance at Mikey, who is watching him intently. His hand quivers as he flicks the spark wheel with his thumb. It takes a few attempts before the flame spouts from the metal. He shrugs as he inhales, lighting the cigarette and praying his death will only be fictional. He takes a long drag, hesitating to inhale but allowing himself to once he sees Mikey’s small, encouraging smile. He pulled the smoke into his lungs and exhaled with a smile and a sigh of relief. He takes another puff and suddenly freezes, clutching his chest and jerking his head in all sorts of strange manoeuvres. He begins to make these choked, almost gurgling noises as his eyes widen and he drops the cigarette to sizzle in the beads of water that litter the floor from where his sodden jeans had dripped. His body was cartoonishly pulsating, his eyes widening as he held his hand over his throat, still making erratic flailing movements and the almost squeaky choking sounds that accompanied the strange actions. The unpleasant sound amplifies as he falls to his knees. It was like he was the unpractised understudy in a shitty high school production of a Shakespeare play; all of it seemed so comically exaggerated, yet he was dedicated to his act. He slumps back a bit, reaching out in front of him dramatically as he collapses backwards like a folded deck chair. He twitches and chokes a while longer, drawing out his faux death as if it wasn’t incredibly long and poor already. Finally, he lets out a long hacking cough, closing his eyes and lying like roadkill on the bathroom floor. Mikey is in utter disbelief at the performance; he wants to roll his eyes at the unbelievable nature of it, but instead, he turns to the surveillance camera, wiping the urge to laugh from his face and praying the watcher bought the act as he puts on his best angry persona.
“There! I’ve done it! I’ve killed him with the poison, just like you wanted! Now where’s my brother!? Where’s my band!?” He shouts at the lens, hoping the door would swing open and he would be free from this prison.
On the other side of the room, pure lightning rips through Pete's calf, travelling through every nerve within him, shaking his body uncontrollably as his chain emits sharp static through him. A loud electrical hum sounds through the bathroom as Pete spasms and jerks on the floor. Mikey looks upon the convulsing body of his supposed dead cellmate in utter shock as he can hear his knuckles clattering off the tiles below him. Pete sits up, gasping and clutching his ankle, his eyes blown wide like craters on the moon.
“JESUS CHRIST!” He yelps as he catches his breath. Mikey does not react in concern, but instead in rage, in complete disbelief that Pete would ruin their one chance of escape that didn’t involve injury or fatality.
“What the fuck!” Mikey exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air.
“I just got fucking electrocuted, is what!”
“What?” He rolls his eyes, adding “That was our way out!” in a hushed tone.
Pete looks at him, utterly perplexed, quickly snapping back at Mikey.
“Did you hear what I just said!?” He grabs at the cuff around his foot, pulling at it and shrieking, “GET THIS FUCKING THING OFF ME! GET IT OFF!”
“Stop acting.”
Pete drops the chain, looking up to face Mikey, beyond irritated.
“You think I would make that up just to fuck up your stupid little charade!?”
“All right, that's it!” Mikey barks, picking up his saw and slamming himself down to sit on the floor, trying to hack through the chains again, grunting and huffing as he only blunts the teeth of the saw. Pete, on the other hand, just sits with his back against the pipes. His breathing was heavy as he stared off into the lights in a daze. Mikey quickly gives up, throwing the blade against the floor, huffing and still facing the wall to avoid the sight of Pete.
“I remember everything now.”
Mikey turns to look at Pete, furrowing his eyebrows.
“I remember how I got here.” Pete mumbles, a look of realisation sweeping over his features.
“What? How?”
“I was walking up the stairs to my apartment, it was late, and I was listening to music on my headphones.”
“Is that it? You ended up here by listening to music?” Mikey replied sarcastically, folding his arms and rolling his eyes.
“Will you shut up!? I’m piecing it together!”
“Right, okay. Sorry,” Mikey said defensively, holding both his hands up in jesting surrender.
“I got to the top of the stairs and unlocked my door. I usually lock it after me, but I must’ve forgotten to. I went to the kitchen to look for something to eat, but I didn’t see anything I wanted, so I headed for my studio. It’s just a spare room, but it’s got a lot of my equipment in there. The walls are soundproofed, but I usually leave the door open a bit in case someone comes to the door. I sat on my armchair, facing away from the door, pulled up my laptop, typed out a couple of things and sent some pictures from my phone to my hard drive -nothing weird! Just a few snaps from a concert I wanted to post on my blog. I got my bass out after a while, I plugged my headphones into my amp so I didn’t wake the neighbours, and I was jamming for an hour or two, writing a few new riffs to pitch to the band and stuff. I must’ve fallen asleep sitting there. I woke up with my bass on my lap and my headphones hanging off my head. All the lights were off in the room. I got up from the chair, unplugged my bass and headphones from the amp and tried to flip the switch a few times, but the room stayed dark. I don’t know why the power was out. When I left the room, I could see the light from the complex hallway under my door. It’s not as if I didn't pay the power bill. I somehow made it to the kitchen in the dark. I raided the drawers for a flashlight I had bought a few months back; it was a shitty souvenir from this random pit stop we stopped at on tour. It didn’t turn on, it just kinda flickered and died. I tried to shake it and gave it a whack off the counter, but it wasn’t working. I was grumbling and complaining to myself, and threw it back in the drawer. I heard something moving outside the kitchen door. It scared the shit outta me, I thought it was just the neighbours or something, but I heard it again, it was like something was scuttling across the floor. I checked my pockets for my phone, the flash on that is kinda shitty unless I’m taking photos, so I used that to see if there was anything outside the door. I thought the neighbour's cat had maybe wandered in again, so I called her name and didn’t hear anything. I opened the door and stepped into my hallway, asked if someone was there and took a few more photos to light my way to the living room. I called out, saying I could hear someone and used the camera flash to peek into the living room. I didn’t see anything, so I walked in, passed the couch and went to look out the window to see if I could see one of my friends' cars, maybe they’d let themselves in and decided to mess with me or something? I don’t know. I didn’t see anything anyway. Then I heard this fucking laugh behind me. I thought I was going crazy, but I turned around and took a photo. This weird-ass clown puppet thing was sitting on the couch. It was wooden and had red cheeks and weird, long hair, and a suit on. It gave me the creeps; it was really sinister-looking. I called out for my friends and said it wasn’t funny and to turn the lights on. The puppet laughed again, so I freaked out and grabbed one of the basses I have hung up on the wall in the living room and started smashing the thing. It kept cackling as I battered it with the bass; it kinda distorted the more I hit it until it stopped giggling. I heard another noise from behind me, it was coming from the storage closet where I keep jackets and stuff. I asked who was in there and shouted that I had a weapon. I opened the closet door and didn’t see anything. I took a photo to get a better look, and then this fucking thing in a pig mask and robe ran at me from behind. That’s all I remember before waking up here.”
Mikey shook his head in confusion “Why are you telling me this now?”
“I just remembered! Getting shocked must’ve tripped my memory.”
“Oh yeah, the ‘electrocution’.” Mikey mocked in irritation, “You’re still lying about that?”
“Why the fuck would I ruin our shot out of here? I don’t exactly want to be here either!”
“You’ve got nothing on the line! Your friends are safe!”
“That doesn’t mean I want yours to suffer, Mikey!”
“How do I know that? I don’t know what you’re thinking half the time! You kept the photo from me, so who knows what else you’re hiding, Pete! You could be part of this fucking hell!”
“I’m in the same position as you! I got basically drowned and electrocuted! You really think I’d do that for kicks!?”
“I don’t fucking know, do I!? You could be one of those masochists who like that shit!”
“Funnily enough, I didn’t exactly like waking up with a lung full of water! And I certainly did not fucking enjoy getting shocked by-”
Pete’s rebuttal was cut short by the phone that lay in the box suddenly playing a cheery ringtone. The pair locked eyes, both confused by the sudden eruption of such an upbeat sound in the room. Mikey slowly reached down and grabbed the phone, carefully flipping it open and answering the incoming call.
“Hello? Who is this?” He asked as he pressed the phone to his ear, unsure of who to expect on the burner phone’s other line.
“Mikey?” a voice sobbed down the phone.
Mikey quickly stood up, his hand going to his hair as he spoke hopefully, “Frank?”
“Mikey, is that you?”
“Yeah, Frankie, it’s me.” He sniffled, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips in the bittersweetness of the moment. Pete watched on intently, studying the way his face seemed to brighten at the voice on the other end.
“Mikey, I don’t know what’s going on.”
“Don’t worry, everything’s gonna be alright, man, I’m gonna try to get us out of this. Where’s Gerard and Ray?”
“They’re with me.”
“Let me talk to Gerard. You’re gonna be alright.”
“There’s a guy here, some kid. He’s got us tied up. He’s got a gun.”
“What? What guy?”
“Please come get us, Mikes. I know we fought, but I- we need you right now.”
The sound of shuffling and haggard breathing floods through Mikey’s ears as Frank’s voice disappears into the noise.
“Hello? Frank? Are you there?”
His question is met with the muffled sound of shouting and panicked shouts.
“Frank!? FRANKIE!?” Mikey screams down the phone, tears starting to run down his reddened cheeks as he paces around, grabbing at his hair and closing his fist around the roots, pulling in frustration and fear.
“Mikey?” A soft, broken voice calls to him through the mobile, causing his hand to instantly loosen its grip on his sandy brown hair.
“Gee? Is that you?” Mikey sobbed down the phone, finally hearing his brother’s voice was the catalyst for the drops of salted rain that fell down his flushed face to turn into a floodsworth.
“Is- is Pete there?”
The question surprises Mikey. He turns to look at Pete and sees his eyes are already locked on him, with a worried expression on his face.
“How do you know? Gee, what’s going on?”
Gerard bawls down the phone, choking on their words as they try to deliver the message, “Don’t believe Pete’s lies. He knows you. He knew all about you before today.”
“What are you talking abo-”
The line went dead. His brother was gone. Frank was gone. He didn’t even get to talk to Ray. Mikey was desperate; he shouted against the dial tone, calling out for anyone on the other line to talk to him. “Hello? Gee? Gerard?” The dead line continued to hum. “HELLO!?” He wailed to no one. He turned to the camera in the glass cage in the wall and began to scream and bawl at the steady red light.
“FUCK YOU! IF YOU LAY A FUCKING FINGER ON THEM, I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU! YOU HEAR ME!? YOU SON OF A BITCH, I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!”
Mikey falls to his knees, hunched over and sobbing. His breath is unsteady and heavy as he lets the tears fall onto the tile. He slams his fist against the floor, cracking a tile or two in half with the force. Across the room, Pete watches cautiously, his eyes staying on Mikey as he cries like a child for his big brother.
He decides to extend an olive branch to Mikey, speaking quietly and softly, as if he was approaching a dangerous animal, “Are they okay?”
Mikey sits up, avoiding Pete’s watchful gaze, his voice stiff and robotic as he stifles rage.
“My brother, he uh, he mentioned your name.”
Pete acts surprised, the feeling of being caught out dawning on him, “Oh? What did he say?”
Mikey still doesn’t look up at Pete, instead choosing to speak firmly in reply.
“He told me not to believe you.”
“Believe me about what?” Pete can’t bear to look at Mikey as he feels his eyes bore into him.
“He told me that you knew me.” Mikey rises to his feet, shooting the sullen figure across the room, a look which carries the weight of a thousand wrongful deaths. “Who the fuck are you, Pete?”
Pete avoids Mikey’s eyes, attempting to cover up the now apparent holes in his claims.
“You know who I am.”
“Stop fuckin’ lying! You’re a liar! I need to know the truth!”
Pete’s final straw has been drawn. He’s fed up with hiding, and even more fed up with Mikey. He finally meets Mikey’s eyes, his tone sounding less pathetic and more jagged as he accuses Mikey of the same sins. “I’m a liar, am I? What did you do last night, Mikey? Go meet up with a guy you met? Hook up with him? You told me when you left the bus last night, you went to meet a friend.”
“That’s because it’s the truth.” Mikey defends.
Pete cuts back, a deadpan tone that seemed as sharp as a butcher's blade, “No, it’s not. Your brother is right, Michael. Don’t you recall all those blog posts written about you? All the seemingly random pictures of you that surfaced online?”
A million phrases flooded through Mikey's head;
‘Amazing New Mexico Sunset.’
‘I Wish You Were My Bass.’
‘Totally Back In Love.”
‘Fuck.
Pete Wentz.
A few drunken hookups on Warped Tour.
He looks completely different without the eyeliner and his hair pin-straight.
I should've recognised the tattoo earlier, but it all looks the same in the dark.’
Pete stands up, his voice fierce and dagger-like. If he’s a liar, then he learned from the best.
“I can prove you didn’t go anywhere near any guy's house last night. I know you met some seedy guy downtown to get your fix!”
He leans over the bathtub, pulling out a black bag and holding it high. Mikey’s heart feels like it's stopped. He’s been caught. Someone knows of his every wrongdoing, and he does not want to absolve him of his sin. Pete pulls out bundles of paper and photographs from their hiding place, of being wrapped in plastic, holding them up and scattering them across the room.
“It’s not the first time I've done it either, Mikey. I’ve been taking shots of you for months now!”
Mikey looks at the prints, words, blog posts, song lyrics, and pictures. Everything this guy had on him is presented right in front of him. He picks up one of the fallen photographs. It’s of him, last night, standing on the corner of a street in downtown Chicago, placing a wad of cash in the palm of a stranger. He scans the floor. Photos of him holding the hands of one-night stands and sneaking back onto tour buses while the sun rises lay amongst typed snippets of God knows what.
“You’ve had these with you the whole time?”
“I found them, over there.” Pete gestures over to the toilet just off to the side of him, “I don’t know how they got there.”
“Yeah, right. You’re so full of shit!” Mikey roars, balling up the image in his hand and throwing it in Pete’s direction. Pete scoffs, chuckling slightly at the pathetic action.
“Aww, c’mon. Face it, Mikey, we’re both bullshitters! But the camera isn’t. It doesn’t know how to lie. It only shows what’s put right in front of it! Just out of curiosity, what did you do in that alleyway? You got out of there pretty fast.”
Mikey turns and presses his forehead to the wall, huffing and stewing in his anger for a moment, then slowly looks over to Pete.
“Who was it?”
“Who was what?”
“Who told you where I was? Why did you follow me and write all this shit about me?”
“Just this guy.”
“What the fuck does that mean? Does that mean you saw what happened to me?”
“What I saw was you heading towards your tour bus. That’s it. I stopped following when you were nearing the parking space. I don’t know anything beyond that. I don’t know how you got here. I don’t know how I got here. I just tailed you for a bit and went straight home to get the photos on my laptop. Next thing I know, I’m chained to a pipe in some fucking prehistoric bathroom, staring at the guy I’ve been taking shots of!”
“Clearly, whoever told you where I was is the one who put us here.”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe? What do you mean, maybe? Of course it is! What did he look like?”
Pete shrugs, “I don’t know, he was just a guy.
“Was he tall? Skinny? Obese? What?”
“I didn’t take notes on his appearance!”
“You must remember something about him!” Mikey bellows, aggravated at Pete’s stupidity, or better yet, his continuous lies.
“I can’t!”
“You’re telling me you don’t remember a single thing about the guy?”
“I told you! I-”
“Oh, for fucks sake! I give up!” Mikey throws his hands to the heavens, the dummy act getting under his skin in a way he can’t ignore anymore. He turns away from Pete, leaning his forearm against the wall and pressing his head into the tiles.
“He’s a tall guy with a fuckin goatee, brown hair, kinda ragged look, okay!?”
Pete’s words get Mikey’s head to turn, the rug is quickly pulled from under the confusion as realisation wipes across his features.
“Matt! It’s fucking Matt! Our old drummer!”
“The guy who gave me the info was definitely not a musician; he couldn’t tell me anything about the actual tour.”
“No, no, we kicked him out of the band. He couldn’t keep up with playing live, so we replaced him after the album was done. He broke down after that, but that didn’t stop him from still contacting us; we got countless fucking lawsuits sent our way. He’s convinced himself it was me who got him kicked out; it was a band decision, not just me. I wasn’t even the one that suggested it! He’s crazy… like for real crazy. And you spoke to him. You got information from him to invade my privacy! How could you do that?”
“Call it my need for content.”
Mikey scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Right, right. You know what, Pete? You’re not a victim of this game, you’re a part of it!” He thrusts an outstretched finger in Pete’s direction; if he weren’t on a leash, it would be driven harshly into Pete’s chest.
“Oh, really? Obviously, the cops that questioned you thought YOU were the one behind it all! And this ‘Matt’ thought you were suspicious enough to give me all the clues I needed to follow you. He bought that I was a journalist, either that or he really thinks you’re to blame. What a good friend he is.”
“I told you, he’s not my friend! He’s a bottom feeder! Just like you!” Mikey sneers, turning back to face the corner. His nails dig deep into his palms, leaving reddened crescents in their wake.
Pete’s anger grows to an explosive level. There’s only so much biting your lip can hold back. Mikey’s accusations of involvement in this torture and his attitude towards him ignites an outburst that no amount of backpedalling can retract.
“What are you more pissed off about, Mikey? The fact that I took some pictures of you? Or the fact that I took some pictures of you while you were fucking groupies and getting coke?”
“I WAS NOT BUYING COCAINE!”
“Why do you care what I think anyway? I don’t give a crap if you covered yourself in the shit and had a 15 hooker gang bang!” A blatant lie from Pete. Every motivation for every single action he has made leading up to this has been motivated by just that. What he thinks. What he thinks about who Mikey is fucking. A jealous man by nature, and an envious one by nurture, he cannot help but obsess over everybody Mikey added to his never-ending list of hook-ups. ‘Half of Jersey, All of Warped’, a phrase that haunted Pete like some sort of poltergeist blinks like a warning sign in his mind’s eye. It wasn’t true, well, half of it. He doesn’t know about before him, but he does know that that summer, he was the only one. He does care. So much so that it’s landed him chained up in a disgusting bathroom with front row seats to the unravelling of Michael James Way. His breath is ragged, and his face is darkened with bubbling rage. The pair stand like cowboys before a sunrise showdown as Pete mimics Mikey, turning to face the pipes behind him.
Mikey digests Pete’s words, huffing and processing. Everything comes crashing down as he collapses to the floor, limp like a rag doll. He’s lost any remaining strength and control and starts to weep like a homesick child.
“How did I get here?”
Pete looks over his shoulder, seeing Mikey in the same position as the dead man on the floor, he turns around and sits on the edge of the bathtub, a pained expression wiping away the anger at the sound of a singular voice crack from his cellmate.
“I had…I had everything in order.”
Mikey turns on his side, facing Pete with streams of crystal clear running down his rosy cheeks. Pete watches on, staying silent as Mikey grasps the Polaroid of his band gagged and bound, looking over each face and stuttering between sobs.
“My whole life was in perfect order.”
Pete is at a loss for words. He doesn’t know how to comfort in a situation he made happen. He’s not sure anything he could even think to say would soothe Mikey anyway. He looks to the floor as the guilt swallows him whole. It’s his fault. All of it. If he could get over a summer fling like a normal person, he wouldn’t be here. If he didn’t stalk and write and photograph Mikey like a prowling stalker, he wouldn’t be here. Mikey wouldn’t be here. His brother and friends wouldn’t be harmed. Every single string traces back to Pete’s unrelenting desire to be the final notch in Mikey’s belt. Mikey’s gargling cries only add another hundred pounds to his concaving chest. He just wanted to hold his hand again, not have a hand in his torture.
Pete wipes away the liquid glass layer that had formed in his eyes and focuses on the floor. Photos of Mikey from the sidelines of a Warped tour stage caught his eye; he remembers that night vividly. He got to take Mikey back to his empty tour bus for the first time then. He sniffles as he scans the documents that litter the ground, pausing as he recognises something peculiar peaking from the side of a blurry candid of Mikey walking back to the bus last night. He squints at it, trying to focus his eyes on the figure. With a furrowed brow, he gets down on his hands and knees and stretches to reach the image in question. He swipes it from its sandwiched position between a draft of a song and a printed-out LiveJournal post, leaning back and examining the unfamiliar face that lurked behind the tour bus.
“Mikey?”
“What do you want, Pete?” Mikey exhales, preparing for the blow of another wisecrack.
“Was uh- was there someone else on the bus last night? Besides your friend?”
“No? What are you talking about?”
“Well, there’s someone here” He throws the picture over to Mikey, who gets up from the floor and sits down, picking up the paper and scanning for the aforementioned mystery guest.
That fucking kid. The one he gave the picks to.
“I know him!”
“Is he with the band? Crew or something?”
“No… no, he’s that kid that was there when I got questioned…” Mikey trailed off, racking his mind for the name. Zeke? Zayn? Z…?
“ZACK! His name is Zack!”
Mikey turns to face the camera, instinctively guessing that the person watching the surveillance footage is none other than the sick fanboy.
“Zach! You perverted little psychopath! I’m gonna take great pleasure in seeing you pay for this! You little bastard! FUCK!” Mikey’s face burns ruby red, shouting with every particle of oxygen left in his lungs. He pants as he glares daggers down the lens, anger clouding every sense.
“Look.”
Pete’s voice penetrates the resentful haze. He turns his head, only to see Pete not looking at him, but looking up at the wall. The clock hands split the face in perfect halves.
6:00
“We’re out of time.”
The two stare at the ticking hands, the impending doom now settling as certain doom within their knotted stomachs. They don’t speak a word, instead watching as the second hand walks its way around the clock face.
6:01
6:02
The ringing of the burner phone blasts through the thick air, startling both Pete and Mikey.
Mikey reaches into his pocket, quickly flipping the phone open and putting it to his ear.
“Is that you, Zack, you fucking bastard!? I know it’s you, you son of a bitch!”
Pete stands up from his perch on the tub lip, stepping closer to hear the conversation.
“Mikey?”
“Gee?” His eyes widen, the vicious tone being replaced with worry.
“You… you failed.”
“What?”
The sound of struggle pierces Mikey’s ear. Rustling, shouting, metal clanking, and groans travel down the line as Mikey shouts down the mobile.
“Hello!? Hello!? Are you alright!?”
More muffled sounds drift through the device, a hard thud followed by some audibly faraway demands.
“Don’t fucking move! Stay on the ground! Give me that phone. Give it to me! NOW!”
His brother's voice is fierce and commanding, a tone he’d only heard in teenage spats.
“Mikey?”
“Gee! Are you alright!?”
“No. No, we’re not… GET THE FUCK DOWN! Mikey, where are you?”
“I- I don’t know. I’m being kept hostage in a room somewhere.”
Gerard sniffles down the phone, disbelief and frustration evident in his tone.
“What? What are you talking about?”
The waterworks start yet again for Mikey as he croaks out an apology.
“I’m so sorry, Gee. I’m so so sorry.”
“Mikey, we need you here.”
“I’m so sorry for everything. It’s all my fault. Please forgive me. I love you. I love you so much.”
The words sit between the phone lines for a moment, and both the caller and the recipient are crying as the apology is spoken.
Ray’s voice breaks their simultaneous sobs from continuing through the phone.
“GERARD!”
Screaming and thunderous banging rage from the other end of the call, leaving Mikey to panic as his only clues on who’s alive are the chorus of pained yelps and cries that ring into his eardrum.
“GEE!?” He calls out for his brother, desperate and pleading for some sort of answer as the ruckus grows louder.
“WHAT’S HAPPENNING!? FUCK! GERARD!?”
The distinct sound of a gun firing blares as Mikey falls to his knees.
“GEE!? PLEASE!”
He listens as Frank shouts profanity at what he can only assume is Zack. Mikey’s heart rate accelerates like an F1 car on its final lap as he hears the sounds of distressed pleas and the impact of fists colliding with skin. He continues to scream his brother’s name down the phone, receiving no concrete answer. His eyes feel like they could burst from the pressure of flooding spilling from them. His head doesn’t feel much different. He can taste his pulse. All he can do is listen to what could very well be the death of his brother and his two closest friends.
Pete stares at Mikey’s crumpled body lying on the cold floor. Every fibre of him wants to reach out. To hold him. To stroke his hair and take off his glasses to wipe the tears from his eyes. The chain feels heavier as he watches Mikey convulse on broken sobs, unable to move, comfort or help the boy across the room.
“FREEZE!”
An unfamiliar voice stifles Mikey’s blubbering. He lifts his head from its position of being pressed against the bathroom tiles.
‘BANG!’
‘BANG!’
‘BANG!’
Gunshots.
A lot of them.
Screeching.
Sobbing.
Gunshot.
Gunshot.
Clattering.
Gunshot.
Shouting.
Gunshot.
Screaming.
Gunshot.
A guttural scream erupts from Mikey’s lips as he reacts to the symphony of terrifying sounds. He clutches the phone, silently praying to a God he’s not sure he even believes in for his brother, Ray and Frank’s lives to be spared.
“Mr Way? Iero!? Toro!? I’m gonna kill your brother now, Mr Way!”
Mikey’s blood runs cold. He looks over to Pete, helpless with tear-stained cheeks as the line goes flat. He’s met with a similar view. Pete’s eyes are pinkened and puffy, his lip quivering as he stands as close as his chain will let him go, shaking and vacant. Mikey’s face finds the floor again, lying in a complete mess, not even crying, just heaving and moaning lowly. He’s wept every tear his body could muster. The retching suddenly comes to a halt, swiftly replaced by a loud buzzing. Mikey's body jerks up as the humming starts, volts of raw electricity injects itself into his veins as he collapses backwards, his legs folded inhumanly beneath his seizing body. Foamy spittle starts to bubble at the corners of his mouth as Pete watches, wide-eyed and absolutely terrified.
“Mikey!? Mikey, get up!”
The spasming continues, and more drool and white bubbles spill from Mikey’s mouth as Pete stands frozen in place. The fit stops just as suddenly as it started. Mikey lies still and stiff on the bathroom floor.
“Mikey! Get up! I need you! Please!”
Pete finds himself crying for what seems like the millionth time over the absence of Mikey’s voice. He frantically starts pacing the floor. reaching his hands into his hair and yanking from the root.
Mikey can’t be dead. He can’t be alone in this fucking room. He can't handle this on his own. He needs Mikey. He needs the calm, collected boy on the other side of the room, no matter how he treats him.
In his spiral, Pete’s eyes stayed glued to the ground. He spots a piece of debris from the many things he slammed off the tiles and flings it towards Mikey’s lifeless body. It doesn’t hit him. Not even close. He picks up another piece of the destroyed bathroom, this time a large bolt that he assumes was holding the tubing flush to the wall. He closes one eye and aims for Mikey’s exposed stomach. He hopes for the best as he launches it over the bloody corpse that separated them. The bolt skelps off the floor, ricocheting to hit Mikey’s rib.
“Mikey!? C’mon, man, wake up!”
Pete holds his breath, waiting for some sign of life.
It feels like a lifetime before Mikey begins to stir awake, and Pete lets go of the breath he was holding in his lungs, a smile tugging on his lips. Mikey reaches a quaking hand towards his head, squinting as the lights penetrate his eyes and sitting up slowly. Pete cries out in relief. “Oh, thank God! I thought you were dead!”
“He… he electrocuted me…”
“I told you! The same thing happened to me, see? I wasn’t lying!”
Mikey leans over and grabs the chain, the source of his unneeded defibrillation. He snaps, whipping the chain off the sickly white tiles.
“FUCK THIS SHIT!”
He begins to yank and struggle with his chain, grunting and shouting as he tries to pry the cuff off his ankle. The familiar ring tone interrupts his pointless attempts as he quickly scampers to locate the phone. It lies out of reach, a good foot or so away from his fingertips. He flattens himself onto his stomach and desperately tries to grab the vibrating mobile, but his hands can’t quite reach the grey cell. He searches for something to use, a lasso or something to anchor the phone so it’s in reach, eventually settling on the hinged little brown box. He empties the contents onto the floor, flipping the box upside down as he tries to hook the antenna with the corner of the box. He can’t reach. Nothing will reach it. Nothing can help him find a sliver of salvation in this hellhole. He cries out in frustration again, hot tears blooming in his waterline as he throws the box towards the phone and attempts to stretch his hand out to get even a finger tip on it. Pete stood like a deer in the headlights as he looked on, unsure of what to do.
Mikey’s cries become howls as he thumps the floor with his fist, sending waves of agony through his knuckles.
“FUCK! NO! NO! FUCK!”
“Mikey, calm down. There must be a way out of this!” Pete takes on the role of the levelheaded, logical thinker, completely role-reversing all that has been set in their time within the 4 decaying walls.
“I CAN’T BE FUCKING CALM! My family needs me! Oh God!” He bawls and shrieks, forcing his body to stretch as far as it can to grab the still ringing phone. His ankle burns as the metal cuff bites into his tender skin, cutting into his heel as he extends his arm outwards towards what he sees as their key to rescue.
Pete shouts over Mikey’s guttural, primal screams, trying to ground him in any way possible. “Mikey, I have a family too! I don’t see them, that’s my mistake. It’s a mistake I'd like to fix!”
Mikey continues to lash out, his mental state visibly and audibly breaking down as he clutches the chain and cries out at nothing.
“MIKEY! STOP IT!” Pete yelps desperately, his grasp on calmness dropping from his hands as Mikey begins to take off his belt. Though it is a sight Pete has seen before, he hasn’t witnessed it with such unnerving sobs. The belt smacks off the floor, the decorative buckle slapping harshly against the ceramic.
“Mikey, please! Please calm down! There's a way out of here! There’s a way out!”
Mikey picks up the belt, letting the buckle clink off the floor as he begins to wrap it around his calf, feeding the tail through the metal as he pulls tight. The thin layer of fat bubbles over the cinched leather, making Mikey’s already pale-looking skin look almost strangled. He wraps the length of the leather around another time, tugging it tight and threading it through the metal hoop in the back. It’s only now, as Mikey’s eyes widen in derangement, that Pete realises what he’s preparing to do.
“MIKEY! NO! GOD, PLEASE NO! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?”
Mikey takes the tail of the belt between his teeth, pulling his head back as he digs his fangs into the printed leather. Pete’s screams and begs become background static in his ringing ears as he lifts up the hacksaw from the floor beside him. He puts the blade to his ankle, breathing heavily. The look in his eyes is no longer just madness, but desperation. He doesn’t care about walking nearly as much as he cares for his brother and his friends. If they make it out of this, he only needs his hands to play. He needs his brother far more than he needs his foot. Mikey glides the blunted teeth over his skin, screaming against the cow skin that fills his mouth. Prickles of hot crimson begin to slide down onto his foot as he slices through the layers of skin. He adds more pressure as he sees the layers of the cut ruby red part to reveal pinkish meat. The liquid scab spurts up as he carves into the tough muscle, splatting across his features like a vermillion smoothie.
Pete cannot help but vomit at the sight. Hot bile floods from his parted lips just as fast as the bitter salivation coated his tongue upon witnessing the first speck of blood landing on Mikey’s glasses. His pleas seem to fall on deaf ears. His throat is raw and dry as he hacks up the remnants of last night's dinner onto the floor, his jeans and his shirt. He falls to the floor, wincing and begging Mikey to stop, blubbering as he watches Mikey hack away at his own flesh.
The flesh has been split, the off-white of his lower Tibia peaking through the poorly cracked open foot. The syrupy gore covers his neck and chin like a blanket, still spraying like a fire hose up at his face. The white text on his shirt is now crimson as the drippings and sprayings fall down his chest. He can’t even scream anymore. The adrenaline numbs the pain only a little, but his throat feels hoarse from every gagged cry he tried to vocalise. He can only moan in agony behind the layers of hide that his canines hold punctured behind wet lips. The resistance from the hard bones only makes him work faster, in a desperate, rushed and sloppy shaving of his skeleton. The salted tears blend with the plasma, allowing it to thin and rush down his distorted face, trailing down his torso and pooling on his pelvis and thighs. The slop covered him like he had been bathing in it; barely any skin could be seen behind the scarlet soup. His glasses were completely obstructed by the blood storm, sliding off his wet nose and falling into the dampness of his jeans. His vision was shitty at the best of times, but with his own vein’s wine dancing on his eyelashes, he’s seeing blind, trusting the teeth of the saw to carve away at his Fibula without supervision.
The bone splits with a sickening crack as it lies limp on the floor, stringy tendons and stressed, stretched skin keep the hacked-away appendage fused to Mikey like a parasitic twin. He tears the Achilles tendon with a harsh swipe of the blade, leaving gravity to detach the unwanted extremity as the thin film of his ankle expands beyond its elasticity, tearing in a jagged line, and leaving a flap of long hide draping from the back of his calf.
Pete is hunched on all fours, crying and begging for Mikey to stop. He hears the thud of his foot slapping against the tiles and retches up air, dry heaving and coughing. His pleas are met, far later than he wanted them to, as Mikey drops the metal hacksaw from his sweaty palms, a sharp ding ringing through the air. He sits up, and Pete’s arms give out below him; the impact of padded cheeks scudding off the porcelain alerts Mikey to turn his head. Pete lies face down on the cold floor, weeping inconsolably and babbling incoherent nonsense, listening as Mikey groans and begins to move. He lifts his head to see Mikey wiping the lens of his glasses on the dry fabric that lies around the back of his shirt, gripping the fabric tight and pulling it around his toned, slender frame. He places the now white and pink glasses back on his face, not bothering to swipe away any of the blood that clung to his exposed skin. Pete begins to rise from his slumped position, kneeling tall to get a view of the three-limbed man that crawled across the ground.
“Are… are you okay?” Pete asks, already knowing the answer was likely no, seeing as the boy had just removed his own foot. Mikey groans in response, searching arms gliding through the spilled contents of his insides. Pete watches in terror as Mikey finds the object he’s been wading through the carmine river for.
A singular bullet.
“What are you doing!? Mikey!? What the fuck are you doing!?” Pete stutters the question, and Mikey slugs towards their deceased roommate, whimpering and wailing with every drag that his massacred leg takes across the filthy floor. He doesn’t have it in him to reply to his soon-to-be victim. Mikey's hand grips the cadaver’s wrist, using it to hoist himself closer to its rotten remains. The slickness of the blood on his hands makes holding on a difficult task, but he presses his nails into the body and uses what little strength he has to propel himself closer. From the dead man’s hands, he retrieves a small, black handgun.
“Mikey, what are you…” The sentence gets clogged in Pete’s throat as Mikey opens the chamber and slips the single bullet in one of the 6 holes. He closes the bullet chamber, shakily raising the gun up. He’d never shot one of these things before, but he’s seen enough zombie flicks to have a rough idea. He tries to stop the tears as he listens to Pete’s desperate attempts at convincing him there’s another way.
“Oh my god! Oh my God! Mikey, don’t!”
Mikey closes one eye, locking his eyes on Pete as he clambers to his feet.
“No! Mikey please! I’m begging you!”
Mikey steadies his arm, aiming the barrel of the gun right at Pete’s torso.
“Mikey, it’s not me who did this to you! Please!”
Pete does not expect the broken voice of Mikey to leave his greying lips.
“You have to die.”
Pete throws his hands in front of him in defence, moving side to side as if dancing on hot coals.
“No! I want to live! Please, I want to make things right!”
“I’m sorry.” Mikey croaks, his eyes draining of any light and his voice full of reluctance.
“I want to live!”
“My…family…”
His aim is locked on Pete with a sniper's eye, his finger gripping the trigger as Pete screams bloody murder, bawling and screeching at the gunman. He pulls the trigger, sending the silver bullet through Pete’s upper chest.
Pete collapses forward, smashing his tear-ridden face against the cold, hard tiles. Crimson blooms on the floor beneath him, spilling from his torso and his face to meet in a sickly pond of haemoglobin cocktail. Mikey lets the gun fall from his hands, crying his eyes out as he lies down on the floor. He killed him. He killed the only person that understands the torture of his room. He had a family. Friends. A band. Fans. And he took it away with one movement of his finger. Blood, sweat and tears collect on the floor beneath Mikey, a distinct salted metal scent filling the bathroom. He didn’t know if it was the blood loss or the blood on his hands, but he felt unbelievably ill. His stomach contents bubbled and boiled in the pit of his stomach. His head feels like it’s in a hydraulic press as he cranes it up from the floor. He barely manages a breath as he props himself up on his elbows.
The only survivor of the three men in this room.
“I’ve done it! I’ve fucking done it! Now show them to me!” He demands towards the camera- the sick, perverted voyeur that watched all 6 hours he spent trapped in this God-forsaken shit hole. He lets his arms fall limp as he lies back down, pressing his forehead to the floor, sobbing dry tears.
Mikey doesn’t know how long he’s been lying there, face down on the disgusting bathroom floor, but his head is jerked up by a sound from the other side of the metal door. The door slides open as Mikey manages to get himself onto his knees, turning to face the moving metal plane.
Salvation.
A saviour has found him.
He reaches his hand out towards the door, the grating sound of squeaking and banging forces his eyes shut in a wince. Out from the shadows steps a figure, much smaller than himself.
“Frank!? Is that you!?” Mikey's hopeful tone inspires a laugh from the shadow in the doorway. A sick, conniving snicker fills his ears.
The dust and smoke settle, revealing Zack’s bloodied and beaten form. The fanboy steps into the room, his eyes darting around the scene, settling finally on Mikey’s determined expression. He smirks, stepping around the one-legged man and heading to examine the fallen boy across from Mikey.
“You bastard! You fucking bastard! I’ll kill you! Don’t fucking touch him!”
Mikey reaches to grab at Zack’s legs as he passes him, but is too weak to do anything more than hit his fingers off his shins.
“I’ll fucking kill you! You sick little bastard!”
Mikey grasps the gun beside him as he yells, aiming at Zack and pulling the trigger. Nothing but empty clicking comes from the pistol as Zack steps closer to Pete’s body.
“I’ll fucking kill you! Don’t you dare fucking touch him! Don’t fucking touch him! Leave him alone! I’ll fucking kill you!”
Zack ignores the empty threats, kicking his foot into Pete’s ribs a few times. He’s met with no reaction from the dead boy. He huffs and turns to face Mikey, who still aims the empty gun at him.
“You’re too late.”
Zack raises his own weapon, pointing it between the arches of Mikey’s glasses in a standoff where only one of them can stand.
“Why?” Mikey asks weakly, his shooting hand quivering.
“It’s the rules.”
Zack clenches the trigger, a moment of hesitation pausing the death-inducing action. He doesn’t want to shoot Mikey. He looks up to him, admires him even. But staring down the barrel of Mikey’s own gun, what other choice does he have? He goes to speak an apology, but before the first syllable can leave his mouth, he feels a rough hand grip his ankle, pulling him down to the floor. The back of Zack’s head hits the floor harshly, the sound of a skull cracking making Mikey’s face scrunch up. Pete yanks him closer, reaching to swipe the gun from his hand, screaming in utter agony as he feels the bullet burrow itself further into his shoulder. The gun sends a bullet ricocheting off the ceramic-lined walls, shattering them on impact and scattering sharp shards across the room. Pete shakes Zack’s arm in an attempt to loosen his grip on the firearm. A second bullet escapes the chamber, this time narrowly missing Mikey. Rage fills Pete as he hears Mikey scream. He slams Zack’s arm down, sending the gun skidding towards the bathtub. He cracks Zack in the face, shifting his nose to the side as his knuckles collide with the cartilage. Zack is dizzied and stunned as he sways on his knees, then tumbles backwards, holding his nose and shouting muddled profanity. Mikey uses the little strength he has in his arms to crawl forward, screaming like a madman as Pete lifts the lid of the toilet’s water chamber from the floor.
“Pete! Don’t!”
Pete doesn’t listen; he doesn’t even notice Mikey’s slow movements towards him. He lifts the heavy porcelain lid above his head, crying out as he feels the tendons snap around the lodged bullet in his upper chest. He thumps the white slab against Zack’s head, instantly staining the shiny white with red blotches.
“Pete! Stop it! He’s down!”
He picks up the lid and slams it again.
Then again.
Then again.
“Pete! You’re gonna fucking kill him!”
He bashes the boy’s head again, snapping the toilet lid in half upon the final blow and letting the upper half of the slickened slab collide with the floor.
He raises the chipped cover up again, intending to use the makeshift weapon until he can no longer hold it in his hands. He lowers the lid, but is stopped before another strike can be made to the bludgeoned head below him.
What’s left of Zack’s skull is reminiscent of a smashed watermelon. Fleshy red lies obliterated above a mangled neck and shoulders. The peach rind of his skin falling like a discarded bed sheet around the pool of wound piss. Brain matter and hard, sharpened bones blend together with a disarray of chipped teeth acting as seeds in the fruit smoothie.
“Oh God-”
“Shhh. It’s okay. You’re okay.”
Mikey's hand rests on Pete’s arm, the soft contact immediately coaxing him to let go of the hunk of bloodied pottery. Pete falls forward, clutching his shoulder with his free hand and bawling like a newborn. His breathing is stuttered and interrupted with sobs on every inhale.
“It’s okay, Pete.”
Mikey moves in, pressing his forehead against Pete’s, swapping blood drops from skin to skin.
“You’re going to be alright, Pete.” Mikey barely manages to whisper the words to him as his bellowing cries slow to a silent, steady stream.
“You’re just wounded in the shoulder.”
Pete nods against Mikey’s forehead, hiccuping on his pain.
“I have to go- go get help.”
Pete’s eyes widened. ‘Go’ as in leave. Leave him here. Alone.
“Don’t leave me here! No! Mikey, please!” He grasps at Mikey's shirt, begging.
Mikey nods, pulling away from Pete and turning to face the door. Streams of silently wept tear drops fall from his eyes as he departs. He bites his lip to stifle the sounds that are fighting their way up his throat.
“NO!” Pete’s howls almost stop Mikey in his tracks. He can’t leave him like this.
“MIKEY! MIKEY! PLEASE! NO!”
He turns to look back at the bawling boy, revealing his own tears to him across the room.
“I NEED YOU! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME HERE! I NEED YOU MIKEY, PLEASE!”
“Don’t - don’t worry, I’ll bring someone back, I promise.” He manages to whisper in his lightheaded state. The pair stare at each other, a million unspoken words balancing on the tips of their tongues.
“Please?”
Mikey just bows his head, turning back to face the exit as he hears Pete’s whimpers slowly fade. He sets off on his journey through the metal door, down a dimly lit concrete hallway. He fights the urge to cast a look at Pete, deciding it’s better to escape and bring him help than to lie with him once more.
Pete and the bodies are all that is left in the room, his eyes following Mikey as he trails himself around a sharp corner, leaving only smears of blood behind him. He reaches a hand out, his throat too dry to attempt another shout to the departed, instead he lies pathetically on the floor, praying that Mikey keeps his promise. He allows himself to cry all he has left, mumbling Mikey’s name and an unspoken ‘I love you' to fill the silence.
He’s got to get out of here.
The murmurs of Mikey’s name are replaced with whispers of thinking out loud.
“Key…key…”
He starts raiding Zack’s pockets, patting him down and pulling out all the contents. There’s nothing of use in his jeans, only a few pieces of lint and a balled up receipt. He hums in frustration, throwing the useless items down on the ground and beginning to pat down the carcass' jacket pockets instead. He feels something hard, rectangular and heavy tucked inside the internal breast pocket. He hoists himself up on top of the corpse, wincing and swearing at the sharp pain in his shoulder. He rips open the coat, popping a few buttons as he flips the fabric over and reaches inside. He knows what it is just from touch alone. He pulls the solid brick out and gazes at it with an open mouth. He glances down at Zack, or what’s left of him, then to the object in his hand. He straightens himself up a bit more, moving to sit on the floor, rather than straddling the body. He presses play on the tape recorder.
‘Hello, Mr Hick. Or as your friends call you: Zack.
I want you to make a choice. There’s a slow-acting poison coursing through your system, which only I have the antidote for. Will you murder the band you’ve stalked and followed for months to save yourself? Listen carefully, if you will. There are rules.’
Pete drops the tape, his eyes glued to the mess of a man beside him. What has he done? It was his trap, too. Fuck.
He looks into the mix of bone, blood and brains, letting himself spiral as he swallows the weight of what he’s done. He almost misses the final surprise in his spiral.
Almost.
From the centre of the room, the third original member of the prisoners in this room begins to rise. Pete’s mouth falls agape as the supposed cadaver rises to his knees, stretching his back and shaking his head. The splattered blood and exposed cerebrum peel off in one swipe from the unharmed bald head. He can’t muster the courage to speak, instead watching in shock as the body stands up and cracks his stiffened neck.
“The key to that chain is in the bathtub.”
Pete’s instinct tells him to reach for the discarded gun that lay near the tub, quickly shuffling to clutch it in his hands. He aims it at the risen faux corpse, pressing his finger against the trigger. As he forces the metal clip back, his body is pumped full of electricity. Pete falls backwards onto the floor, his head smashing into the bathtub as he begins to spasm and seize on the floor. The lightning stops as he gasps for air, drawing in raspy, forced breaths. He sees the dead man walking towards the door, and all he can do is watch as the man flips the light switch and grasps the metal sliding door.
“Most people are so ungrateful to be alive. But not you. Not anymore, Peter.”
The man hauls the door across the opening with a loud grunt, stopping halfway as Pete shouts desperate pleas.
“NO! DON’T PLEASE! I’M GRATEFUL! I’M SO GREATFUL!”
The man says two simple words as he closes the door.
“GAME OVER.”
Hello whereisyourb0yt0night nation!
I’ve got some exciting news for you about my next strange horror fic!
My beloved friend @luvien0 and I have collaborated to create a story and an incredible art piece to go along with it! I’m so proud of the work we’ve created for this project, the art is absolutely amazing and I’m so happy I got to work with such a talented artist on something we are both so excited about. I’m finishing up the last few scenes of the fic now and I’m hoping to have it edited and posted within the next day or two!
If you care for The Summer of Like, Sweet Little Dudes, Warped Tour 2005 AND the Saw franchise, then this is just for you.
I cannot wait to share this with you all, please go give the very talented @luvien0 some love, he more than deserves it.
All my love,
whereisyourb0yt0night <3
Currently planning a doomed Bandom yaoi saw trap fic…
Frankenstein
PULSE (12/12)
NSFW / 18+ / SMUT
Heartfelt and heartless.
CHAPTER WARNINGS: smut, blood consumption, use of "pretty boy", use of "good boy", wound play, bareback sex, anal sex, oral sex, spit, degradation, praise, body image issues, slight body horror, bodily fluids, begging, biting, hickies, hair pulling, orgasm control, orgasm denial, 18+ MINORS DNI
Tags: Frerard Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Mikey Way and Ray Toro Supporting Characters, Horror, Frankenstein Inspired(abstractly), Body Horror, Gore, Graphic Imagery
AN at the end!
The kiss was brief, but full of care. The two held each other’s gaze, feeling their breath pooling together in the small space between them. The match had been struck, and the air in the room changed as the distance between them closed once more. Frank kissed back against the familiar lips, his hand clumsily finding the soft curve of his boyfriend's jaw, beckoning him forward with a guiding pull at the corner where his ear meets his jawbone. Gerard leaned into Frank, pivoting his body from a twisted sitting position to hovering above him, his arm pressed firmly against the sheets as he held himself up, his other hand lazily finding Frank’s leg, where his fingers danced like figure skaters against cotton pyjama bottoms.
Gerard pulled back, panting slightly. Frank raised a confused eyebrow before a dejected expression brought the brow back down.
“Yeah, no, I get it, I’m sorry-”
“I love you.”
Frank’s face shifted; the downturned form his lips had taken pulled into a subtle smile. He exhaled a small chuff through his nose, his tongue brushing against the curved steel of his lip ring. He grabbed Gerard by the shirt, pulling him closer and muttering a small ‘I love you’ as their mouths collided with an urgency the last kiss didn’t carry.
Soft lips began to dampen, slick with spit and stray tears that hadn’t quite dried. Both boys are hungry to consume each other’s taste with every groan and grab at clothing and barely exposed skin, teeth clattering against each other, drawing blood to plumpen already red lips. The ferocity of a training police dog clamping down on the bite suit arm.
Gerard knelt over Frank, a few inches away from straddling his leg, his thigh pressing lightly between Frank’s legs. In response, Frank slowly brought his knee up, a signature move to invite friction in the pants of the oddly domenearing boy above him as he tugged at the stitching at the bottom of Gerard's shirt. The pulling didn't go unnoticed as Gerard broke the kiss.
“Off,” Frank demanded, sitting up to assist in the undressing of his boyfriend. Gerard obliged, grabbing the collar of his shirt and hastily pulling it off with minimal struggle, thanks to Frank pushing it halfway up his torso. He threw the shirt aside, sending it to the graveyard of dirty clothes that cluttered the bedroom floor. Frank lay against the mattress, staring up at Gerard, awestruck. He admired how the glow of the lamp and its flimsy, uneven shade highlighted his body in a mosaic-like fashion. Patches of sun-kissed yellow and Halloween orange lay across the skin of his stomach as if the lamp had only been made to illuminate him. A bespoke painting Frank would frame in the gallery of his mind. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss on Gerard’s side and grabbing his hips roughly, causing Gerard to inhale a sharp breath as he leaned down into Frank’s neck, his lips ghosting over the sugar white flesh, and pushing the boy back down into the mattress.
“Take it off,” Gerard whispered between feathered kisses, his usual pleading tone absent as he inched his fingers up Frank’s t-shirt. He felt Frank pull the fabric back down frantically as the words left his mouth. Gerard pulled back, puzzled, tilting his head to the side as he watched Frank’s knuckles turn white as his fists clenched around the fraying stitches at the hem.
“What’s wrong? Did I do something?” Gerard asked softly, brushing his thumb against the ridges of Frank’s knuckles.
“It looks horrible. I don't want you to look at me like this.” Frank avoided his gaze, propping himself up on his elbows as he loosened his grip on the t-shirt.
“I don’t care”
“You’re just saying that,” Frank seemed to sink further into the pillows as his shoulders collapsed slightly, “It doesn’t exactly look attractive”, he muttered, shifting his weight uncomfortably.
Gerard leaned over Frank, his breath dancing on the lips of the boy beneath him, causing Frank to shudder at the sensation.
“Frankie, I don’t care what you look like. I love you, there’s nothing you need to hide from me.”
“It’s gross-”
“It still won’t put me off.”
Frank met Gerard’s eyes, the clementine light turning the boy’s eyes a warm honey shade in the otherwise dingy darkness. He sighed and closed his eyes, before he managed to speak, Gerard leaned in and whispered lowly in his ear.
“Let me see you, pretty boy.”
Frank didn’t need much more convincing as he slowly pulled the shirt over his head.
Exposed and fleshy, he lay down in the messy sheets, arms spread out like a partial crucifixion, every stitch and freshly forming scar unveiled. The face-framing curls that lay perfectly on his cheeks invited warm fingers to push them back. Gerard placed a weary hand on Frank’s chest, his fingers gingerly raised by the poor sewing craftsmanship. He loomed over Frank, letting his fingers slowly sweep against the boy’s chest. Frank lay, eyes locked on Gerard’s hand, waiting, anticipating the boy's next move.
Gerard leaned down, connecting their swollen lips in a gentle kiss, his hand trailing to the waistband of the boxers that poked out over the loosely tied drawstring of Frank’s bottoms. He pulled and pinged at the elastic, earning silenced groans that melted against his lips. Frank grabbed at Gerard, a tight grip on his bicep, and the other hand running through the lengths of black hair, desperately asking for the kiss to deepen. The motion of lips on lips became sloppy and unclean, strings of drool refusing to split between their mouths as they briefly pulled back for air before biting into another ravenous attempt to swap spit. Gerard began to trail down the side of Frank's face, his lips parted as he pressed kisses down his jaw to his neck. He nipped at the sensitive skin, leaving tiny red teeth marks before setting his target on Frank’s collar bones. The array of greys and sickly beiges swiftly welcomed the addition of plums and berries to the display as Gerard marked Frank’s skin, careful to avoid where the patches of mismatched hide joined together in staples and thread. Frank threw his head back, vulnerable and willing as he presented his neck to be subject to the same treatment. Every graze of jagged teeth coaxed hissing and ragged breath from his throat. He lay as a sacrificial lamb to the big bad wolf that seemingly wanted to eat him whole.
The bruises stung against him as the chilled air of the basement latched onto where hot lips had just departed. He was never one to give up without a fight, but tonight, he gladly accepted the role of a willing victim to the faux vampiric attack on his neck and chest. The biting softly melted into open-mouth kisses, following the now clearly defined desire path back to his mouth as their lips met again. The playful teasing at his waistband was enough to make him whine in desperation. He felt Gerard chuckle into the kiss as he lowered his hand to palm him through the thin layers of cotton. Frank bucked into the pawing hand instinctually, craving the feeling of Gerard’s hand on his skin. The fabric felt too thick, a now unwanted barrier between him and what he wanted. Against his thigh, he felt Gerard have a similar reaction, throbbing against the confinement of his boxers and pressing firmly into Frank’s leg. Frank’s whimpers filled the air, the friction becoming overstimulating, and his patience wearing thin. Gerard rarely took the reins, but now, as he felt Frank twitch under his touch, he wanted to hear more of him, feel more of him, see more of him.
To taste him.
Gerard broke the kiss, which caused Frank to almost growl in frustration at the lack of contact, his pathetic mewls quickly coming to a standstill as he watched, wide-eyed and panting at the boy before him as he slipped two fingers under the waistband of his boxers and slowly dragged them off his hips to his knees. Frank took no time kicking off the long pyjama bottoms that tangled around his feet, leaving only his underwear keeping his legs together. He struggled against the confinement of the tight material, finding it hard to concentrate as he felt a warm hand wrap itself around him. He eventually shrugged off the boxers, leaving him bare and exposed. He watched Gerard as he drew his hand back from his length to spit in his palm, then returned it to its desired position, running long, slow strokes from base to tip. Frank groaned at the feeling, his head falling back into the disorganised mountain of pillows, his stomach full of hellfire as he accepted the touch he so craved. His eyes fluttered closed as he fought against the cacophony of moans that brewed in his throat. He didn't see the way Gerard licked his lips, before parting them wide and lowering his head.
Gerard licked at the purpling tip, smacking his lips together as he savoured the droplets of precum that had seemingly trickled out during the friction of his earlier teasing antics. Frank’s eyes immediately flew open, and his head craned back up from the cushioned nest it was just cradled by. He followed the motion of Gerard's bobbing head, gazing at the way spit slid down in icicle-like drippings and started to pool on his thighs. Ignoring the tightening within his stomach, he reached his hand into the unruly mess of Gerard’s hair, pulling gently. He felt Gerard's warm mouth vibrate with a choked moan around him, igniting a sick need within him to feel the boy gag. He kept hold of Gerard’s hair, a fistful of black midnight contrasting against the pale skin of his hand, and thrusted further into the soft wetness of his boyfriend's mouth. His desired result was granted; the closing of Gerard’s throat around his tip was just the push he needed to finish. Frank turned his head to the side, a poor attempt to mask the sound of his guttural cries of satisfaction as he lazily thrusted into Gerard’s open mouth, riding out the feeling of his climax as he unfurled his clenched fist.
The streams of now clouded white drool lay like a half-decayed spiderweb along his thighs. Gerard gulped for air, swallowing what didn't fall from his lips and smirking to himself as he wiped at the residual spit on his chin and sucking the remnants from his shaking fingers.
“Jesus Christ-” Frank muttered from the cavity between two dented pillows, the statement sounding like a struggle from the rate of his ragged breathing. Gerard just chuckled, crawling up the boy like he was a measly prey animal beneath him. He grabbed Frank’s jaw, forcing his head to leave the chasm of comfort it was nested in and look at him. His chin was glistening with evidence of Frank’s enjoyment and a healthy dose of saliva, and his cheeks were flushed a hot pink colour. The sweat that prickled at his hairline slickened his forehead, his whole face looking wet as he leaned down over the boy below him and connected their lips in haste.
“I missed the way you taste”, Gerard spoke against Frank's lips.
“I missed you,” Frank replied, pulling the boy closer by the waist, his fingers tracing along the line where Gerard’s hips met cotton, eager to pull the fabric off and send it in the growing pile of freshly discarded clothes. Frank worked to untie the knot that held Gerard’s bottoms flush to his hips, pulling at the now loosened waist as he continued to kiss the diluted taste of himself off Gerard’s lips. His fingers wormed their way into Gerard's underwear; he made it to the second knuckle before a rough hand clamped around his wrist, extracting his searching hand from the underwear with precision and keeping it held high.
“What do you think you’re doing, Frankie?” Gerard taunted, looking between the open palm and the surprised face his boyfriend wore. Frank’s cheeks went from a heated simmer to a boil as crimson painted at his paper complexion, “I was just- Just-”
“Just what?”
“I want to, uh, return the favour?” Frank replied, as if it were an answer to a question he didn't know. He couldn't meet Gerard's eyes, his vision darting from every surface in the room, avoiding the only thing he wanted to look at.
“No.”
“No?” Frank questioned, with clear confusion in his tone. Gerard let go of the quivering hand, tutting patronisingly at the boy splayed naked below him.
“You’re not in control tonight, Frank”, he spoke, brash and brave, narrowing his eyes and pushing down his pyjamas. Frank’s eyes followed the agonisingly slow movement, the reveal of tartan boxers summoning salivation. Gerard stood from his kneeling position on the rickety bed, kicking the bottoms off and standing proud in his boxers. He was hard, visibly hard against the checkered blue, grey and black squares that decorated his underwear. Frank stayed quiet, waiting on instructions, lying still apart from his wandering eyes that visually licked every inch of exposed skin on Gerard’s body.
“Please,” Frank whispered, now sat up.
“What was that? Speak up.”
“Can I take them off for you?” Frank began crawling down the bed, a pathetic puppy dog look on his face as he begged to eliminate any modesty. Gerard simply nodded. Frank reached a nervous hand out, hooking two fingers into the waistband and looking up for approval.
“Use your teeth, put that pretty mouth of yours to use”
Frank whined, scrambling up the sheets to bare his teeth and bite down on the thin cotton, eager to please. With a gentle hand in his hair, he began to tug and pull the underwear down, using his fingers to guide them away from Gerard’s hips and letting his mouth do the work of trailing the plaid down pale thighs. He let go and watched as the boxers became one with the floor, nervous to look up. His head remained bowed, focused on the abandoned clothing surrounding the bed frame.
“On your stomach now, Frank”, Gerard ordered, walking around to the nightstand and briefly rummaging in the drawer beneath the surface and pulling out a half-empty bottle of lube. Frank quickly assumed position, his head turned to the side, resting on overlapped arms, and his back arched up on two spread legs. The mattress dipped behind him, the sound of weakened wood creaking swirled a familiar anticipatory feeling within his already blazing stomach. His breathing was deep and controlled, trying hard to concentrate on only that and not the feeling of Gerard’s wandering hands on his body. Gerard trailed kisses down his spine, paying extra attention between Frank’s shoulder blades, which garnered some squeaks and hums from him. The lips travelled to his mid back and eventually his lower back before he felt spit trickle down onto his ass. The audible sucking of fingers instructed him to spread his legs further as he waited for Gerard to begin to prep him.
“It’s been a while since you bottomed, hasn’t it, Frankie? I’ll be gentle, I’ll ease you into it,” Gerard spoke softly and sultrily, tracing his wet fingers around Frank's hole. Frank whimpered, nodding despite being unsure if Gerard could see his agreement. A short chuckle rang through the air as Gerard gently pushed a finger into Frank. He relaxed into it, moaning at the feeling and signalling that another digit could be added. Gerard soon obliged, pumping two fingers slowly in and out of Frank, being sure to praise him with every movement.
“You’re doing so well, you’re so good at taking my fingers, aren’t you?”
Frank whimpered and nodded, barely managing an ‘uh-huh’ as he felt a third finger being added, stretching him further and causing him to bury his face in the pillows.
“Let’s see how much more you can take, since you were such a good boy for me.” Gerard pulled his fingers out as Frank whined at the loss of contact. He continued to make pitiful little sounds intermittently as he waited to be filled again. Gerard uncapped the lube, squirting it onto his hand and rubbing it onto himself. The absence of a condom wrapper crinkling urged Frank to turn his head to look at the boy behind him.
“No condom?” He asked, his voice small and hushed.
“I want to feel you”, Gerard answered, lining himself up and cocking his head, “that alright with you?” Frank only managed a nod as he felt the knot in his stomach tighten at the idea.
“Good, head down.”
Gerard began to push himself into Frank, slowly and carefully, moving to let him adjust to his size. Frank moaned into the pillow as he felt himself be stretched around Gerard, his groaning turning to high-pitched, short cries with every gentle thrust. Gerard quickly followed after, raspy, breathy moans falling from his lips as he felt Frank tighten around him. He gripped Frank’s hips, picking up the pace and muttering degrading praise between each involuntary noise.
“You take it so well, don’t you, pretty boy?”
“Y-yes”, Frank struggled to whine out, pushing back against the thrusts and feeling himself reach the base of Gerard’s shaft, and letting out a string of profanities and gratitudes as he felt his G spot be hit rhythmically. The collision of sweaty thighs against the back of his own sounded like applause. Frank bit into the pillow to stifle the sounds of his pleasure, feeling himself throb at the sound of Gerard’s. The heat within him began to grow hungrier and hungrier. He gripped the sheets just as Gerard had gripped his hips, rough, tight and sure to leave crescent moon imprints from sharp nails.
“Please- please, can I finish?” He begged, finding his climax far closer than he had anticipated. Abruptly, Gerard stopped. Pushing himself deep inside Frank as he leaned over his curved back to grab the boy’s hair and pull his head up.
“I’m not done with you yet. Get on your back.” He demanded, pulling out and leaving Frank frustrated and confused at the sudden emptiness. His furrowed brow and huffing provoked Gerard to shove him onto his side.
“C’mon, pretty boy, I want to see you.”
Frank quickly turned, rolling over and instantaneously adjusting his legs to make room for Gerard to be between them, his eyes wide and pleading.
“Someone’s desperate, aren’t they?” Gerard mocked, the patronising tone causing Frank to squirm and roll his eyes.
“Shut up and fuck me already”, Frank grumbled, wrapping his hand around the nape of Gerard's neck and pulling him into a sweaty, heated kiss. Gerard gladly obliged, the friction of them rubbing together in the motions of the kiss was reason enough for desperate grabbing, low moans and needy whimpers to emit from them both. Frank began to trace his hand up and down Gerard’s length, his thumb swiping the tip with every stroke. Gerard pulled back from their embrace and tutted at the boy’s actions.
“That needy Frank? That desperate to touch me?”
Frank dropped his hand, stuttering on a reply that hadn’t yet formed in his mouth.
“Beg.”
“What?”
“Beg for it, Frankie, since you want it so bad.”
“I-”
“I said beg.”
Frank paused before he could splutter another messy, unfinished sentence, taking a deep breath and squeezing his eyes shut. He opened them to be face to face with an amused Gerard, a smirk playing on his lips as he waited patiently for his demand to be met.
“Please?”
“I’m gonna need more than that, Frank, don’t you want to be a good boy for me?”
“I do! I do! I just-”
“Just what?”
“I need you, please, Gerard, I’ll be good!”
“Hmm.”
“Please?”
Gerard lined himself up with Frank, teasing him with the tip as he pleaded for even just an inch more. Tears pricked in Frank's waterline as he begged and spoke promises of his best behaviour. Good manners open closed doors, and after sufficient beseeching, Frank was rewarded greatly. Gerard slid inside of him, closing the gap between their bodies as he buried his face in Frank’s neck, licking and kissing at the canvas white skin as he muttered praises. He picked up the pace, propping himself up on his arms as he looked at Frank’s open, gasping mouth, his eyes danced between the moving lips and the hooded, hazy eyes his boyfriend sported, with one arm supporting him he dragged a singular finger along Frank’s bottom lip, guiding it slowly into his mouth, encouraging him to take every knuckle. Frank swirled his tongue around Gerard's finger, sucking on it and moaning as the pair made eye contact.
“So eager to please, aren’t you?”
Frank nodded, a whine taking the place of the word ‘yes’ as another finger found its way into his mouth. He felt his throat tighten as the fingers stopped the moans that bubbled within him from being anything more than pathetic gurgles; his eyes widened as he whined and whimpered. Gerard removed his fingers from their warm, wet nest and relocated his semi-dampened hand to Frank’s shoulder, thrusting deeper within him as he gripped the boy tight. His hand began to slip, feeling far more slippery than the spit that coated his pointer and middle finger. The following sound from Frank was not the familiar pleasured sound Gerard could sing from memory; it was more guttural, more pained. Before Gerard could stop and examine the newfound liquid on his hand, Frank gripped his wrist.
“Keep. Going.” Frank growled, and Gerard drew his hand back, still thrusting as he saw the black sludge. A stitch on Frank’s shoulder had split with the tension of Gerard’s rough grip and was oozing the apparent blood substitute onto Frank’s chest and the mattress.
“I’m fine, keep going, please,” Frank moaned, his climax obviously just a few good thrusts away, judging by the increase in audible desperation. Gerard granted his wish, pushing his full shaft into Frank as the boy wailed, his eyes stayed focused on the trails of coal coloured ink that seeped from the gash he had caused, finding it anything but off-putting. The temptation to touch was far too strong as he bowed his head and licked the travelling liquid from around Frank’s nipple. Frank dug his nails into Gerard’s back, babbling profanities as he felt himself grow closer to finishing. A metallic taste clung to Gerard’s taste buds; he sucked his teeth as he lapped up more of the wrong shade of blood. His wandering tongue eventually ended up at the source as he plunged in to taste the fresh wound. He swiped between the flaps of uprooted skin, swallowing as the rich, sickly liquid coated his lips and stained his teeth, moaning in satisfaction.
“I’m gonna- Please can I cum?” Frank begged as he clawed at Gerard’s back, definitely drawing blood as his sharp nails punctured the skin. Gerard didn’t reply, instead giving his permission in the form of tonguing at the exposed flesh on Frank’s shoulder, feeling himself almost erupt just at the flavour.
Warm, white, sticky liquid squirted from Frank’s tip, painting both of their stomachs in thick strings of his cum. He whined at the sensation of release, panting as Gerard still thrusted fast inside of him.
“Please cum for me”, he whispered into Gerard’s ear. Gerard pulled his head up from Frank’s shoulder, his chin tinted grey as drips of smoky, blood-infused spit dribbled onto Frank’s chest. He grabbed Frank by the jaw, roughly planting his soaked lips on his boyfriend’s as he came inside him with growls and groans. Frank felt himself be filled as Gerard’s thrusts grew lazy and sloppy, riding out his orgasm and eventually collapsing on top of him, panting and damp with sweat.
Frank put his hand in Gerard's hair, running his fingers through it as he admired the scene he had created on his scratched back. Thin lines of scarlet ran through the centre of plump pink engravings on the bone white skin of Gerard’s back, stinging and tender. They lay together, catching their breath before Gerard rose off Frank, although still connected with the webbing of cum that strung between their torsos. Gerard pressed a gentle kiss to Frank’s forehead before pulling his softening dick out of him, expelling a trail of white that will be sure to stain the sheets. Gerard rolled to his side of the bed, exhaling loudly through his mouth.
“Thank you”, Frank was the first to break the comfortable silence. Gerard turned and kissed him softly, chuckling and cradling his face in his hands. “You don’t have to thank me, I love you.”
“I love you too, so much,” Frank spoke softly, placing his hand on top of Gerard's as they both smiled gently.
“Let’s get you cleaned up” Gerard quickly kissed Frank’s temple as he sat up “I’ll change the sheets tomorrow.”
“I saw a towel on the floor, it’s near the wardrobe, I think.” Frank gestured, pointing out a navy blue towel that was lying amongst a pile of t-shirts. Gerard wandered over to it, picking it up and wiping down his face, then his chest, stomach and thighs before coming to do the same to his boyfriend. The tender act of cleaning him up caused Frank to forget about the dull ache in his shoulder as he watched the midnight blue fabric wipe away any residue from his skin.
“Do you want a bandage for your shoulder?” Gerard asked as he threw the soiled towel back into the abyss of clothing.
“Uh, yeah, please”
“I’ll grab the first aid kit, love.” Gerard pulled on some shorts that lay crumpled by his nightstand, giving Frank a quick kiss before disappearing up the basement stairs.
He lay back into the pillows, pulling the duvet over his lower half. His serenity was shortly interrupted by his text tone. He searched for his phone on the bedside table, clicking on the notification and laughing to himself.
MIKEY - 6:17 AM
‘ R U 2 done? I want coffee ‘
He replied with a quick apology, giving Mikey the green light to walk into the kitchen, and his phone pinged again.
MIKEY - 6:48 AM
‘ Finally. U 2 R so gross ‘
Frank shouted a loud “FUCK YOU” as he heard the creak of the last step to the hall. Mikey’s laugh echoed through the house as Gerard clambered down the stairs to his bedroom.
“I don’t even want to know”, he shook his head, placing the first aid kit at the foot of the bed and climbing in next to Frank.
“He called us gross.”
“He’s just mad he isn't getting any.”
“I HEARD THAT!” Mikey bellowed from the top of the staircase as he ventured back to his own room, causing a fit of laughter to erupt from Frank and Gerard.
“Loser”, Gerard muttered, reaching for the first aid kit, flipping open the latch. Frank went to pull the kit closer to himself, wincing slightly as his skin pulled, but he was stopped by a gentle hand on his forearm.
“Lie down, I’ve got it”, Gerard spoke softly, pulling out antiseptic wipes and ripping the paper as Frank lay down. Light and tender, Gerard wiped away the remaining grime from Frank's chest and shoulder. He grabbed another fresh wipe for the wound. ”This is gonna sting.” He warned as Frank nodded and braced himself. Gerard was gentle, trying not to irritate the gash as he disinfected the area. Frank hissed and bit his lip as the cold wipe stung the laceration.
“You did great, I'm gonna put gauze and then the bandage on, then we can go to sleep, alright?”
“Alright.”
Gerard finished bandaging up Frank, placing the kit on his desk on his way to raid his dresser. He returned with fresh boxers and pyjamas for Frank, passing them over to him, then changing into some clean bottoms and climbing back into bed. Frank slipped the boxers on, leaving the pyjamas at the foot of the bed.
“Thank you, you’re so sweet, Gee.” Frank yawned, lying back down and pulling the duvet up to his newly bandaged shoulder.
“It’s just boxers-”
“No, not just for that, for fixing me up.”
“I’ll always look after you, Frankie, no matter what.”
Gerard lay down beside Frank, turned on his side to face the beautiful boy beside him.
“What?” Frank questioned, eyebrows raised.
“What?”
“You’re staring.”
“You’re just so pretty.”
“Oh, be quiet, you,” Frank blushed powder pink, smiling softly at the remark and opening his arms to the boy beside him. Gerard gladly nuzzled in, pressing his head to Frank's chest as they muttered ‘goodnight’ to each other.
“Goodnight kiss?” Gerard lifted his head, a cheeky smile plastered on his cherubic face.
“C’mere”, Frank cradled his jaw and sweetly pressed his lips to Gerard's.
“I love you”, Gerard whispered as he pulled away, setting his head back down on Frank’s chest.
“ I love you too, Gee.”
Gerard felt Frank relax into the mattress, shuffling slightly as he burrowed further into comfort. He smiled to himself, moving to get comfortable, and he tilted his head to look at Frank’s peaceful face. He admired the curve of his nose, his delicate, long eyelashes and his rosy lips before a yawn brought him out of his trance. He closed his eyes and let the room fall quiet around him, too quiet. There was no soft breathing audible except his own, no ticking clock or birds chirping. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter, concentrating hard to ground himself to the subtle thump of Frank’s heartbeat, but there was only silence in the room. Frank stirred, tightening his grip around Gerard as he mumbled incoherently. Gerard moved his head to the left, holding his breath to listen for a pulse that never came.
Notes: Thank you so much for reading all 12 chapters of Frankenstein!!! I am very appreciative of the patience I have been given between chapter uploads. Now the story is done, if you would like me to revisit this plot and create a prequel detailing what happened to Frank before the events of Frankenstein, feel free to leave a comment or ask. I hope you enjoyed, and again, thank you :)
Frankenstein
The Autopsy of a Dream (11/12)
The Dissection and resurrection of Frank Iero's doubts.
TW: Gore, Bodily harm, Detailed gore, Graphic imagery
Tags: Frerard Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Mikey Way and Ray Toro supporting Characters, Horror, Frankenstein inspired(abstractly), Body horror, Gore, Graphic Imagery
“It's like- like this terror. It feels like it’s happening to me, I can feel it.” Gerard stays quiet, consuming each word like its crumbs when you’re starving. He leaned forward, hands clasped and elbows resting on his knees, and he nodded at Frank in acknowledgement, signalling for him to continue. “I’m in this room, it's grey. Not clinical, but a dirty kind of grey. I’m lying on this cold table, strapped down with leather and metal. I can move my head to look around the room, but I can't lift it; it's strapped down. It’s so cold.” Frank’s tone seemed distant, as if he was commentating over a live sports game, narrating every move, everything he could see, and how it felt. Gerard made a mental note: Grey walls, a tray of surgical equipment and sewing supplies, a box with seemingly wet contents, a bright light hanging overhead.
“What did the guy look like, Frank?” Frank halted his recount at the question, his shoulders tense and his jaw now clenched, eyes avoidant and sullen. “I’m gonna get some water.” He stood from the couch and walked to the kitchen at a quickened pace. In the kitchen, Frank darted for the top left cupboard, grabbing a tall blue glass and filling it with water from the tap.
“You’re not meant to drink that, y’know.”
Frank jumped like a startled cat, sending the glass clutched in his hand airborne to collide with the tiled floor. The transparent ocean coloured glass shattering in a pool of polluted Jersey water. “Fuck!” Mikey spluttered apologies, grabbing a dishcloth from the bar of the oven door and trying to mop up the liquid. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-“
“It’s alright, man, I didn’t mean to scare you, it’s just a cup.” Mikey shrugged as he clambered up, grabbing the counter to pull himself up before setting off to locate the brush and dustpan his mother so effortlessly hid somewhere in some cabinet.
“There’s water in the fridge, man.” “Yeah uh- thanks Mikey,” Frank stuttered. He opened the fridge door and grabbed a bottle of water from the bottom shelf, decapitating the lid and gulping down the clear refreshment as if he had spent days in the Sahara. Mikey found the dustpan and brush eventually, after ripping open 3 previous cabinet doors. He dropped to his knees on the floor and began to sweep up the mosaic of Frank’s startling. “What’s wrong? Is everything alright?” Gerard appeared in the doorway, one eyebrow raised. He was met with no answer. “I heard smashing.” “Frank dropped a glass, it’s no big deal,” Mikey replied, standing up and emptying the ruptured glass onto a paper towel before placing it in the bin. Frank turned his attention to the marble slab of the kitchen island. Admiring the pattern of the swirls, lines, and veins. He could’ve sworn it was breathing if he focused hard enough. The design moved from random shapes to faces and object outlines in his mind. The tin man grey against the hospital white, seemingly darkening with every blink. “Frank? You good buddy?” The sound of Mikey's voice brought him out of his trance. “Yeah! Yeah, sorry, I zoned out,” he muttered, avoiding the gaze of both pairs of eyes that were set on him. “Do you want to come back into the living room? Tell me more about your dream, Frankie?” Gerard cooed, as if speaking to a frightened animal in a shelter. “Dream? What dream?” Mikey questioned, shooting a puzzled look between Frank and Gerard. “I had a nightmare. Gee thinks it could mean something.” Frank spoke, barely audible through the sound of artificial rainfall rattling against the sink from the still dripping faucet.
“It could be a vision, or a memory, or something. It could help us figure out what happened,” Gerard mumbled, a trace of embarrassment lingering in the words as he realised how it sounded “You sound like a hippie,” Mikey chuckled, earning a shove from his brother. “I just thought it could be a clue or something!” “We’re not in Scooby Doo!” “It could help!” “Since when did you start believing in hippie shit? You’ve smoked weed like 6 times!” “I’m not a fucking hippie!” Frank interrupted the bickering by crushing the empty plastic bottle in his hand. The crinkling, followed by the clatter of it being tossed against the shattered glass in the bin, caused the playful argument to come to a standstill. “I’ll come back through.” He traipsed back through to the couch, landing on it with a soft thud as he brought his knees to his chest. Mrs Way’s scolding of ‘no feet on the couch, Frank’ played in his head, plucking a small smile from the boy who was rebelling against her big rule against her knowledge. Both Gerard and Mikey followed shortly after, each taking their respective places on the couches. Gerard sat next to Frank, his arm brushing against Frank’s shin in an unconscious, familiar habit that neither of them seemed to notice, while Mikey perched on the other couch, his arm lazily holding his head up on the armrest. “Do you want to start again? Or continue where you were, love?” Gerard suggested, coaxing Frank to speak again. “I don’t know what to say.” He said in a quiet voice, looking down at his knees and burying his attention in the print of the pyjamas they were clad in. “It’s alright man, we’re not gonna say anything,” Mikey comforted, moving to sit up straight instead of lounging. Frank paused, stuttering slightly before speaking. “He cut my legs first. Like he was peeling a vegetable. I felt my skin sliding off after every cut. He left me bare.” Both brothers stayed quiet, allowing Frank to continue. “I remember how cold it was in the room, but how I felt as if I was on fire. I could hear him digging in the crate, muttering about tones or something. He brought back something wet-sounding.” “Jesus Christ.” Mikey whispered, a coating of bile beginning to grow in his stomach. Gerard pulled Frank into his side, rubbing the boy's shoulder and speaking in a low tone into his ear. “You’re doing great, Frankie, you can do it.”
Frank swallowed, turning his head into Gerard’s neck as he continued the story. “He was pushing sharp stuff into me. Into my muscles. I think it was pins. It felt like years. He was humming this creepy song to himself.” “Do you know the song?” Mikey asked, leaning forward and pushing his glasses up the bridge of his bruised, tender nose. “I couldn’t name it. But it’s familiar” “What does it go like?” Mikey probed further, now invested in the so-called ‘hippie shit’. “I can’t remember; it sounded like Pink Floyd or something like that.” “What happened after that?” Gerard asked, his hand now softly waving through Frank’s hair. “He started sewing. It felt like stop motion. I kept coming in and out of it.” Frank gulped to clear his throat as he got up from his place in the crevice of Gerard’s neck. He rubbed his face, pulling at the skin with his palm, in a silent attempt to wash away the image he could see so clearly in his mind. Every dream, talking of it, felt like he was reliving the same torture over and over, like he was in a saw trap version of Groundhog Day. “That sounds fucking horrific.” Mikey muttered, puffing his cheeks and rubbing a hand over his eyes. “I’m sorry Frankie.” Gerard spoke softly, worry and upset clear from his face and tone. Frank shook his head quickly. “It’s alright,” he said as if it was an offhand comment. He continued recounting the story. “The guy was standing over me, looking at my face. He’s familiar. I know him from somewhere.” “What does he look like? Anything distinct?” Gerard chipped in, offering a small smile to Frank in encouragement. “He-“ Frank paused, the words seeming to clog in his throat as he realised where he knew the perpetrator in his nightmares from. “It’s okay, Frankie, you’re safe.” Gerard whispered, his hand grazing Frank’s shoulder tenderly as he watched his face screw up in confusion.
“He looked like you.” He whispered, his eyes travelling to look at Gerard, then back at his knees, a swirl of fear and perplexity bubbling within him.
The air in the homely living room took on that of a morgue as a chill seemed to breeze through the walls. The silence was thick and fogging between the three boys. Gerard felt a sinking sensation engulf him as he wallowed in the sentence. “Can I go for a smoke?” Frank asked suddenly, already in the motions of standing up. “Of course, man, go take a breather.” Mikey said with a weak smile, a badly crafted facade to mask the obvious expression of bewilderment he wore moments prior. Frank began to walk out of the room, wobbling slightly, “just need to go get my smokes.” His voice wavered as he left the room and began to descend the stairs to Gerard’s bedroom, where he knew a pack of cigarettes was waiting. He picked up the carton and a shitty pink lighter and put them in his pockets before grabbing a presumably dirty hoodie from the floor. He wrestled his way through the inturned sleeves, pulling the bunching material down to his hips before setting off for the back garden.
As he climbed the stairs, he heard a muffled conversation from the living room. He tried to ignore the obvious discussion of his apparent ‘visions’ as he walked through the kitchen and twisted the door handle, leading to the bitterly cold autumn outside. He sat down on the porch, paying no mind to the rickety bench and choosing to rest on the decking. He flicked the lighter with a few failed attempts before a weak flame slithered from the metal casing. The hiss and inhale of the first drag filled his mouth with cadet grey intrusive smoke, trailing its way to the back of his throat, then exiting through barely parted lips. He leaned his back against the wall, followed by his head, staring up at the gloomy-looking clouds above him. The deck was still wet from the last downpour, and by the looks of the sombre sky, another was due. The clouds didn’t morph much; there were no hidden images or abstract Elvis portraits painted above him. Just a flat sheet of varying greys. Time seemed to move in a vacuum, no wind, rain, or lively neighbourhood noise. Just the distant sound of birds chirping and the hum of a few cars. He was practically done with his cigarette, the robotic, habitual movements on autopilot as he continued to look up. Inhaling and exhaling his own personal pollution as his mind wandered absently. He put out the lit embers on the deck, listening to the fizzle as it connected with the damp wood. He debated lighting another, but decided against it as he checked his deck to be met with a pitiful 4 left inside the carton. He huffed in defeat, standing up slowly with the assistance of the bench beside him, acting as a pull-up bar. He swiped at the damp backside of his trousers, knocking a few rogue leaves and twigs to the ground before turning to walk back inside. He closed the door quietly and stood in the kitchen for a while, adjusting to the change in temperature, then headed back towards the living room. He paused in the hall as he heard his name being mentioned. “Frank’s not upset with you, man, stop worrying so much.” “Are you joking, Mikey? He looked like me, the fucking evil guy in his dream was some version of me.” “But it wasn't you! It wasn't actually you!” “What if it was me!? I don't remember any of that night after Frank and Ray left!” Frank felt his body tense, raw, fresh panic spilling all around him as he stood vibrating with fear. ‘It couldn't be Gerard.’ ‘He wouldn’t do that.‘ ‘He loves me.‘ ‘He might not love me, but he likes me.’ ‘He wouldn't hurt me.’ ‘He could hurt me, he’s taller and stronger than me.’ ‘It was just a dream.’ ‘It could be a vision.’ ‘It was a nightmare, my brain was just trying to scare me.’ ‘It could be a memory.’ ‘He wouldn't do that to me.’ ‘He could if he wanted to.’ Frank’s mind raced between hope and doubt. Every thought he had was rebutted with another. He felt the thoughts that had plagued him when alone in his bedroom swallow him whole. Maybe he loved Gerard more than Gerard loved him. Maybe he’s just a pity fuck, a warm body, or a boy to experiment with. The unnerving silence from the living room created the perfect temperature for the bacterial thoughts to grow and for the parasites of anxiety to begin chewing on his brain. With every moment of quiet, the spiral quickened.
“Dude, look! I texted Frank a photo of you passed out with a cigarette in your mouth. You fell asleep by the time I came back from seeing them out. You’d remember if it was you, you wouldn’t do some fucked up shit like that! Relax, man, he was probably just filling in the blanks or something.” “When did you send that?” Gerard’s voice sounded weak and small. “Like 2 minutes after they left. You’re not some butcher or weirdo.” Mikey replied. Frank’s downward spiral slowed; while still on edge, he was less visibly shaken. He decided to make his presence known by opening the bathroom door and running the tap to wash his hands. He splashed the water in his face, looking at himself in the mirror's reflection as he pawed around searching for the hand towel. His hair was still a mess from where Gerard's hands ran through it. He looked tired and sunken. ‘Living dead boy,’ he thought to himself before burying his face in the towel and wiping away the droplets that clung to his skin. “Are you back, Frank?” Mikey's voice rang out behind the door. “Yeah! Just washing my hands!” Frank hurriedly replied, throwing the towel back on top of the radiator and opening the door. “You were out there a while. I was coming to check if you were alright.” Mikey spoke solemnly, a tender lacing in his voice. Pitiful, almost in tone. “I was just thinking for a bit, lost in thought.” Frank shrugged, wearing a small forced smile. “It’s alright, man, come back in,” Mikey motioned for Frank to follow him as he wandered back through to the living room. Frank sat down on the couch next to Gerard, but with a small gap between them. Gerard smiled and gave a small wordless greeting by waving slightly, to which Frank gave a small, awkward smile in return. The TV had been turned up during his time in the bathroom, an episode of Teen Titans playing on Cartoon Network captured all the boys’ attention. They sat in comfortable silence, and slightly uncomfortable silence for Frank, as they watched the team stop another villainous group yet again. The credits began to roll, and ads for kids' toys and next up shows began to play, pushing their attention from the screen to each other. “Frank? Do you want to keep going?” Gerard whispered, leaning closer to his boyfriend, who ever so slightly pulled away.
“I don’t know, man, maybe we can talk about it tomorrow? I’ll order us a pizza or something, and we can just hang out?” Mikey chipped in before Frank could reply.
“I can talk about it. I don’t want to bore you with it though.” Frank spoke weekly, quickly adding in “Pizza sounds good by the way!” a second later.
“We can wait for pizza, it’s alright,” Mikey reassured, grabbing the TV remote and turning down the volume. Gerard rubbed Frank's knee in reassurance, but Frank flinched at the contact, which caused Gerard’s lips to display a rejected frown as he withdrew his hand. Frank ran a hand through his hair, squeezing his eyes closed.
“Okay. After he sewed my legs, he like- injected me with something? It was clear in this huge syringe. He stabbed me in the chest with it. I remember feeling like I couldn’t breathe for a second, then I was out cold.
The Way brothers were quiet, both giving slight nods to show they were listening.
“I woke up again, and there was all this metal above me, it looked like claws or something. I looked down as far as I could and-” Frank choked on the words, his voice cracking and audibly strained. Before Gerard or Mikey could spout any reassurance or give a comforting touch, Frank croaked out the rest of the statement.
“I was torn open. The claw things were holding my skin apart. His hands were in my body, rummaging for something. He was pulling on my organs and taking them out and throwing them back in. I passed out again.” Tears began to fall from Frank's eyes, not the black grease it was in prior times, more like a murky grey, like the water left after rinsing a paint brush.
He fell into Gerard's arms, ignoring the tiny, but still there part of him that was unsure, and bawled into his chest. Gerard stroked his back, whispering reassurances that he was safe. The symphony of sobs drowned out the TV. He was wailing like a child as he clung desperately to the fabric of Gerard’s shirt.
Mikey stood up, walking into the hall and typing into his phone.
“I’d like to place an order-”
Gerard pressed a kiss to Frank's forehead, lifting his chin up to look directly at his tear-stained face. “I think Mikey’s ordering pizza, we don't have to talk about it anymore. I’m sorry I asked you to tell me about it. I didn’t know it was this bad. I wouldn’t have asked if I did, I just wanted to-”
“It’s fine.” Frank sniffled, wiping his nose with the back of his hand, “You didn't know.”
Gerard pulled him back in for a tight hug. “I’m still sorry.”
Mikey quietly walked back in, patting Frank’s back softly as he returned to his seat.
“Pizza should be 20 minutes, do you want to choose a movie, Frank?” Mikey whispered, careful not to interrupt too much. Frank inched up from Gerard’s chest, gradually sitting upright like he was before. He wiped his eyes and gave Mikey a pathetic smile, “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it, man, he’s paying for it anyway.” Mikey laughed, motioning his head in a nod towards Gerard, which sent his brother's eyes wide and his jaw agape. “What!?”
Frank chuckled a bit as the two bickered, eventually settling that Gerard would be the one to pay, much to Mikey’s amusement. Gerard got up from the couch reluctantly and went to collect his wallet. "You're answering the door then Mikey!” he called from the hallway, earning a laugh from the two remaining in their comfortable spots on the couches.
Gerard returned and threw his tattered old brown wallet at Mikey with an exaggerated huff and then sat down next to Frank, pulling a crumpled blanket over himself and feigning exaggerated annoyance. Frank wormed his way under the overhang of the blanket, eventually pulling some over himself and cozying up closer to Gerard, who instinctively lay his head on Frank's. An unremarkable 20-something minutes passed before the door was opened to 3 hot pizzas.
“Keep the change!” Mikey commented to the delivery boy as he closed the door, which rustled another look of exasperation from Gerard.
Mikey sauntered back in, placing the 3 pizzas on the table and opening the lids. “This one’s just cheese,” he said, passing the box to Frank, who smiled up at the towering boy as he took it into his lap. They decided to let the TV play rather than arguing about what film to watch, and Courage the Cowardly Dog displayed on the screen as the trio wolfed down their pizzas. Gerard and Mikey had their usual dispute about sharing a dip, which always ends in Gerard’s victory and Mikey sulking. They rattled through the pizzas, demolishing all 8 slices each and leaning back with burst bellies like slaughter pigs.
The title card for Adult Swim flashed up at the end of a few mismatched reruns of random shows, a signal that the night was burning on faster than they had expected. The lighthearted childish cartoons became that of raunchy humour and strange storylines, which Mikey took as his invitation to go to his room.
“I’m gonna head to bed, I still haven’t read that magazine…” He trailed off, as if guilty about abandoning the group just as the shows got good.
“That's alright, man, see you in the morning.” Gerard waved his hand, though his eyes were stuck on Robot Chicken. Mikey rolled his eyes, walking out the door and up the stairs to his room.
“Night, Frank!” he shouted from the top of the stairs.
“Goodnight, Mikes!” Frank called back.
“Do you want to head to bed too?” Frank asked Gerard.
“After this episode,” Gerard mindlessly replied, consumed completely by the short sketches.
Frank chuckled and pushed his shoulder, then stood up from the couch. “I’ll meet you down there.”
Gerard nodded and beamed at Frank, who just shook his head and left the room.
Frank pulled the hoodie he was still wearing over his head and threw it back in the pile he got it from and climbed into bed. He pulled his phone from his pyjama pocket.
NO NEW MESSAGES.
He tossed the phone aside, lying down and pressing his face into the pillow. He didn't know if he should cry or scream. He was still simmering softly with fear, though it was nothing compared to the boil it had reached in the hallway. His thoughts began to flood in; the dam had broken, and all the doubt and recollections of the dream obliterated any calm he had felt.
The stairs creaked as Gerard plodded down, Frank turned his face up from the pillow to see his boyfriend holding two mugs in his hands. Frank smiled to himself, sitting up to greet the other boy.
“Tea?” Gerard asked, pushing a mug towards Frank as he set the other on a small, uncluttered space on his nightstand and turned on the lamp. Frank gratefully took the mug, pressing his lips to the rim and drinking the caramel brown coloured liquid. He made an exaggerated, pleased sigh after he swallowed, which made Gerard laugh. The pair sat together, basking in the glow of the orange-tinted bulb, drinking tea in bed like an old married couple.
“How’re you feeling?” Gerard asked, placing his mug down and moving to sit across from Frank on the bed.
“Honestly? Not good.” Frank mumbled, hanging his head and cradling the mug with two hands.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Gerard spoke sheepishly, his hand now trailing around Frank’s waist to rub at his side
“I just- I’m scared,”
“What are you scared of?”
“You...” Frank whispered, careful not to look at Gerard.
Gerard was wounded, though he swallowed the feeling to ask Frank softly, “Me?”
“It felt so real, I don’t know. I’m scared you don’t like me anymore.”
Gerard pressed a kiss to Frank’s temple, sighing into his hair before pulling away.
“Frankie, I love you. That hasn’t changed. It won’t change.”
“But I’m- I’m fucked up now,” Frank breathed out, “Even worse than before.”
Gerard took Frank's face between his hands, holding the boy's face tenderly.
“I love you. Fucked up or not. I don't think there’s anything wrong with you, there never has been.”
“I look terrible. I've been carved up and sewn together. I don’t blame you for not being attracted to that.” He couldn’t meet his gaze; he looked down at their touching knees, speaking as if he was giving a eulogy on their romance.
“I don’t care. I love you, Frank, that won’t ever go away.” Gerard swiped a stray tear from the corner of Frank’s eye, practically begging for eye contact.
“Are you sure?” Frank questioned, his eyes finally meeting Gerard’s, “I’d understand if-”
He was cut off with a kiss.
NEXT CHAPTER
I’m so sorry it’s been over a month, but Frankenstein chapter 11/12 is about to be posted!
I hope you enjoy it and it was worth the wait
All my love,
whereisyourb0yt0night x
But I’m A Cheerleader! (Chapter 6)
illi mcmillin x reader
tags - high school, slow burn, lesbians!!!!!!!, alone together, TENSE, science project, forced proximity? kinda?, PETEKEY MENTIONED
content - Yours and Illi's chemistry project aren't the only experimental thoughts you're having.
6.7k words
Ecstasy - 6/17
The following morning after the play, you awoke well-rested and sprightly. You cast open your curtains, warm morning sunlight flooding into your room, before getting ready for school.
You drove leisurely, humming along to David Bowie's 'Changes' as it played from your radio. You admired how Autumn creeped in through the array of colours amongst the falling leaves; emerald green and bitter lemon scattered amongst seas of marigold and rusty copper. You pulled into the lot and briskly parked, with only a few minutes until the first bell.
You stepped out into the cool air, taking a deep breath as you hauled your backpack onto your shoulder. You scanned the lot in search of one of the girls, noticing Lacey stood by her car talking to...Ray? You opted not to interrupt them, bookmarking it to pull her up on later, and instead began to make your way to chemistry to get a head start on the morning rush. You made your way to the small laboratory, slightly embarrassed to find yourself the first one in the class. "Ah, someone was up early! Good morning!" Mr Mendel grinned as you settled at your table, with you shooting him a weak smile in return.
The lab slowly began to fill, with your classmates filing in from the fresh morning air. Illi sat down at her usual seat across from you, flashing a smile at you. Once the last few students had entered and settled down, Mr Mendel addressed the class. "Morning folks, if you look back in your planners from the beginning of semester, you will find that you have a project due by Friday next week," he began, his voice filling the room. "For this you will be paired up, and must conduct an experiment and provide a detailed analysis of said experiment. The only condition is that the study must be based on household products. Think soaps, detergent, batteries, dye, food, just make it interesting!" he continued, scrawling on the chalkboard as he went.
"Now, I will allow you to pair yourselves up, but may I remind you this is not an excuse to mess around with your friends. This is worth 30% of your grade, let's stay focused, guys," he turned to face you all again, his tone slightly more stern than before. The class grew lively with people swapping seats and assuming their pairs. Your stomach grew heavy as you scanned the room, not a friend in sight, and you shifted awkwardly in your chair. It seemed everyone else had found their partner as you turned to face the dark-haired girl across from you. She offered you a weak smile, and shrugged her shoulders at you, lugging her stool round beside yours and sitting down. "I suppose you're stuck with me," she chuckled awkwardly, pushing her hair behind her ear.
The two of you discussed the project, whittling down your ideas to a "citrus battery" style experiment, before deciding to work on it at Illi's on Thursday, and your house on Tuesday. A strange, anticipatory feeling brewed within you in the days leading up to your solo time with her. You chalked it up to being stressed about the work itself, but some small, repressed part of your mind knew you were nervous; nervous to be alone with her, in her bedroom, in your bedroom.
Thursday 5:49PM
You practically wolfed down your dinner upon arriving home from school on Thursday, swiftly scoffing it before heading upstairs to get ready and head to Illi's. You pulled on a pair of True Religion jeans and a cami-top, pairing them with a pair of Converse and a Juicy zipper. You quickly touched up your makeup before piling your textbooks and notepad into your bag alongside your laptop, then headed back downstairs. "Gee, that must've been record-time! Where are you off to in such a hurry?" your dad quipped from the dining room, rising from his seat to lean in the doorway. "Oh, just going to Illi's to work on a chemistry project," you replied casually. "I thought you hated chemistry?" he asked, cocking his head at you. "Who's Illi, honey?" your mum joined you in the hall. "Just a girl from my class," you tucked your hair behind your ear, itching to get going already. "Is she that girl I always see with Frank? Oh, she seems nice," she continued. "Pretty, too," she remarked, prompting you to cut the conversation short and head out the door.
You punched Illi's address into your GPS, pulling out of the garage. The radio blared as you made your way across town, a strange mixture of excitement and nerves gurgling in your stomach. Within fifteen minutes you were pulling onto her street, taking deep breaths as you parked outside. You eventually climbed out, making your way up the path to the front door. You rang the doorbell, anticipation gripping you as you awaited it opening. You heard faint voices and shuffling within the house before the door creaked open, revealing Mikey. "Oh, uh, hi! I'm here to work on a project with Illi," you announced, the boy rubbing his eyes as he looked back at you in confusion. "Ooooh, yeah, of course, come on in," he motioned you into the hallway, the warmth of the house welcoming you inside.
You made small talk with Mikey as you waited on Illi, before a small woman with golden blonde hair appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. "Ah, hello! You must be Illi's lab partner! I've heard so much about you!" the woman beamed at you, ushering you into the kitchen. "Oh, yeah, hi, uh, you have a lovely home!" you smiled back at her politely. "Oh, aren't you sweet! Can I get you anything, hun? Have you had dinner? I've got casserole on!" she continued in her sing-song voice. "I've already eaten, thank you! Smells delicious though," you lingered by the counter, Mikey watching on in bemusement. "So, you're a cheerleader, huh?" she queried as she pottered away. "Yeah, I am, yeah," you answered meekly. "That doesn't surprise me, Illi wasn't lying when she said you were beautiful," she smiled, her remark making your cheeks burn, and causing Mikey to let out a chuckle. "You know, I used to be a cheerleader back in my day. Happy memories! Illi tells me you're the best on the team," she went on, stirring a pot idly.
Suddenly Illi appeared from a wooden door across from you, dim lights flickering behind her. "Mum! What did I tell you!" she stressed, shooting you a small smile. "I wasn't bothering her! I was just asking her about her cheerleading, that's all!" she replied, turning from the stove to face her daughter. You let out a small chuckle before Illi started leading you through the door, scowling back at her mum half-jokingly. "Bye, Mrs Way," you smiled, before descending down the small set of stairs behind the door into the basement.
"Sorry, the bulbs in those have gone to shit, let me put the lamp on instead," Illi mumbled, flipping a switch. The room was illuminated by the diffused light from the lamp. It was spacious but cluttered, with a sofa and coffee table before a TV set in the centre, a desk hidden beneath stacks of comics and sketchbooks sat in the corner, and her bed, sporting Batman sheets, in the other corner. Stale, half-drank mugs and glass ashtrays appear on every surface, the aroma of tobacco and coffee filling the room.
You slumped down on the couch, pulling your books and pencil case from your bag. “Sorry about the mess,” Illi muttered, looking around sheepishly. “Don’t worry about it, I've seen worse,” you assured her, offering her a soft smile. "I mean have you seen Frank's room? I remember when we were kids half the time you couldn't even see the floor in there!" you continued, coaxing a laugh from her. She sat down on the couch, pulling the table closer and haphazardly clearing magazines, CDs, and empty wrappers out of the way.
You began laying out your notebooks and research, setting your laptop on the table, whilst Illi rifled through varying jotters. "Do you want me to stick the TV on or something whilst we work?" she asked, leaning back into the corner of the couch. "Uh, yeah, sure," you answered quietly, feeling slightly unnerved being in her domain. She picked up the remote, bringing the screen to life and flicking through channels.
"What do you wanna watch?" she queried, eyes glued to the screen. "I'm not sure, uhm, what about-" you began, before something caught your eye. "Daria," you and Illi spoke in sync, turning to each other, startled. "Wait, you like Daria?" Illi asked earnestly. "Yeah, uh, I love Daria! I didn't know you were into it," you replied, smiling across at her. "Me too! Wow..." she looked back at you pensively. "What?" you cocked your head at her, watching the cogs turning in her head. "Just, I don't know, I didn't expect that from you," she answered shyly. "What? Because I'm a cheerleader, or whatever, I can't be into cool stuff like you?" you questioned her, scowling playfully. "Hey, I didn't say that!" she retorted, laughing. The two of you chuckled together, with Illi flipping back to MTV and playing Daria.
Once you had settled down you got to work, with you typing away, creating a PowerPoint presentation, whilst Illi did research. You sat in comfortable silence on opposite ends of the couch as the dulcet tones of Miss Morgendorffer filled the room gently. The pair of you slaved away, sifting through articles and papers, jotting down your thesis in pain-staking detail. Hours of meticulous note-taking, planning, and analysis passed, with you both realising it was already 8PM, deciding to take a small break.
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom, if you don't mind showing me where it is?" you asked meekly, surveying her as she stretched her arms high above her head, her t-shirt tugging up to reveal the pale skin of her waist as she arched her back. A warm flush took command of your face as you quickly darted your eyes anywhere else in the room, realising what you were doing. "Yeah, no worries, I'm gonna grab a drink whilst I'm upstairs if you want anything?" she replied, yawning slightly as she rose from her seat. "S-Sure, just, uh, whatever you're having," you stuttered in response, unable to look at her. The two of you made your way up the slightly rickety staircase, with your foot slipping between the steps and you almost taking a tumble. Illi steadied you with a firm hand on the small of your back, leaving goosebumps and faintly-pulsing heat in her wake. "You all good?" she asked, absent-mindedly rubbing your back in a calming way. "Uh, yeah, s-sorry, such a clutz!" you replied, continuing up the stairs.
You entered into the kitchen, before Illi directed you down the hall and to the left. "You need to get a grip. You are here to work, focus for God's sake!" you told your reflection as you washed your hands, before taking a deep breath and emerging into the hall, only to be met with a certain Mr Wentz. "Pete?" you blurted out, both of you absorbed in utter shock. "Oh! Hey! What are you doing here?" he replied, attempting to appear nonchalant and failing miserably. "Uh, I have a study date with Illi, wh-what are you doing here?" you answered, making a wry face at him. Suddenly the door behind you opened, with Mikey swinging out from behind it. "Pete, what's keeping you?" he whined at the boy, before his face turned chalk white as he noticed you. You looked between the two with narrow, perplexed eyes. Pete shifted awkwardly where he stood, whilst Mikey froze completely, looking at you with wide eyes. "Sorry, uh, I was holding him up, Mikey," you cut through what felt like ten minutes worth of uneasy silence. "Nice seeing you, Pete," you shot him a suspicious grin before leaving the two boys in the hall and returning to the kitchen.
"Did you fall down the toilet or something?" Illi chuckled as you re-entered. "What?" you giggled back, leaning against the chair across from her. "You were gone forever! What took you so long?" she continued, grinning up at you. "Oh, I bumped into Pete in the hall, I didn't realise him and Mikey were friends?" you replied. "Oh, yeah, they're really close," Illi snickered before going to the fridge, grabbing two Pepsis. You noted the sarcasm in her voice, and how stand-offish the boys had been, the tense air that swallowed the hall. "Surely not..." you thought as she slid the can across the table to you. You cracked it open, the ice-cold, fizzing liquid bubbling and spitting from the can as you gulped it down. "Back to it?" Illi asked, tilting her head. "I suppose so," you grumbled, the two of you heading back into the basement.
You flopped down in front of the TV once more, running your hands through your hair. Illi slumped down beside you, slightly closer now. You returned to your work, completing the first draft of your thesis, and decided to finish the project on Tuesday. You were exchanging your notes as you leaned over the table to grab a paper, leaning slightly over the top of Illi. You caught her from the corner of your eye looking at you, eyes darkened as they roamed your form. You could feel her gaze wandering over your body, checking you out, and became flustered. Your hands trembled as you tried to grab the paper, with it flying from your hand onto the floor. "Clutz, what did I tell you!" you joked, not meeting her gaze.
You picked up the paper, passing it to her and flicking your hair in a flustered manner. A pink-ish tint burned across your face as you attempted to describe whatever the paper said, tripping over your words as you unsuccessfully tried to recall the last few hours' work. Soon after, the two of you wrapped up, with Illi seeing you to the door, not returning inside until your car was halfway down the street.
Illi waited until Pete had left before bursting into Mikey's room, having been given a few hours to reflect on your time together she had much to say. "Holy fuck, I can't believe she was in our house! In my bedroom!" she exclaimed, flinging herself down beside Mikey on the bed. "Yeah, okay, you were working on a science project, it's hardly the height of romance, Illi," he laughed, amused with his sister's brimming energy. "Yeah, but still! She was in my room! With me! Alone!" she continued, a cheek-aching smile plastered to her face. "Did she say anything about Pete being here?" the boy queried, biting at his nails. "Just that she didn't realise you two were friends," Illi answered, devious look on her face. "Illi, what did you say?" Mikey asked, jolting up and looking at her sternly. "Nothing, just, uh..." she began, chuckling. "What did you say to her?!" he demanded, growing irritated. "I just said you were really close! That's all!" Illi choked out between laughs, only fuelled further by Mikey's unimpressed face. "Illi! Come on, seriously, man! What if she goes and tells everyone?!" he bellowed, swatting at her. "She won't! She won't!" she shrieked, pawing Mikey's prodding hands away from her.
He huffed, crossing his arms and turning away from her. "Come on, don't be mad," she pleaded, still giggling. "You are such a dick," he laughed, turning back to her. "Now, tell me everything!" he implored. Illi ranted to him about your mutual affinity for Daria, how you had joked and laughed together, how out of nowhere you had gotten all coy before you left. "So she just randomly started blushing and stuttering? What were you guys doing?" he eyed her over the rim of his glasses. "Nothing, just work, honest!" she replied, Mikey's gaze unchanging. "Do you seriously think if I'd somehow managed to get in her pants I wouldn't tell you?" she continued, to which Mikey laughed in response. "There must've been something, though!" Mikey pondered, lying on his stomach with a teddy tucked under his chin. "Nah, I mean, I was kind of, uh...checking her out," Illi confessed sheepishly. Mikey stood up suddenly, pacing the room, as though a lightbulb had just lit up in his head. "That must be it," he began, cogs turning in his brain. "What, what is it?" Illi asked, grabbing at his arm. "She must've caught you...and by the sounds of it, she must've liked it," he chuckled as Illi looked at him wide-eyed. "No way," she muttered back, shaking her head slightly. "No, no, it all makes sense now...She likes you!" he smiled, piecing fragments together. "Oh, come on, Mikey, as if!" she replied bashfully, hanging her head. "No, I'm serious! I mean, think about it, she got all weird and flustered, we practically had to drag you away from each other last night...last night...I forgot to tell you!" he continued, before recounting the previous night to her in lengthy detail, how you had defended her from Hayley, the two of them squealing and rolling about the bed with excitement.
Tuesday 6:03PM
You heard the doorbell echoing downstairs as you lay on your bed, swiftly jumping up and rushing to answer it. You heard footsteps you knew to be your mother's approach the door and open it, followed by muffled greetings, and you raced down the stairs to save Illi from your mother's rambling. "So, lovely to finally meet you! You're friends with Frank aren't you?" your mum asked, smiling at her. "Uh, yeah, Frank's, like, one of my best friends!" Illi answered, shooting you a smile as you descended down the staircase. "Oh, Frank's a nice boy, isn't he? I knew I'd seen you before," your mum continued as you approached, standing beside her. "Thanks for letting Illi in, mum, but we're gonna be heading upstairs now," you announced, hoping to shoo her away. "Aw, okay, hun, do you girls need anything? Soda? Snacks? Ooh, do you want to sit in the TV room?" she waffled on. "We're fine, mum, thank you!" you stressed, practically pulling Illi away from her and up to your bedroom.
The two of you made it into your room, with you closing the door behind you. Illi looked around at the purple walls clad in posters and pictures, admiring your princess-style bed and your vanity. "Holy shit, you have such a cool room!" she declared, shrugging her bag from her shoulder and sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Thanks! I decorated it myself! Well, my dad built all the furniture, but other than that," you chuckled, surveying the room as if it were not your own. "I mean, look at all these posters!" she gazed up at the walls, taking in the décor. "Fiona Apple? Nice," she continued, examining each poster. "No way! Dawn of the Dead? You like that movie?" she exclaimed, turning to face you with bright eyes. "Yeah, uh, my dad never really liked scary movies, but my mum's a bit of a horror-buff, so when I was old enough she started showing me all of her old favourites. It's, like, our little thing," you smiled sheepishly. "That's actually really sweet," she replied, twinkling at you. "And that's pretty fuckin' cool of your mum, too," she continued, both of you exchanging chuckles and smiles.
You sat on the bed across from her, sprawling out your notes and papers alongside your laptop as she made herself comfortable, still gazing around your room in awe. "So, uh, how was your weekend?" you asked absent-mindedly as you coaxed your Lenovo to turn on. "Aw, nothing special, just D&D with the guys, watched a few movies," she began, pulling a notebook and a small, leather, maroon-coloured sketchbook from her bag as she spoke. "What about you, anything exciting?" she continued. "Not particularly, I was meant to go to that new Italian place in town, but it didn't end up happening," you replied, awaiting the screen to flash to life. "How come?" she asked, lounging across the bottom half of your bed casually, propping herself up on her elbow to face you.
A wave of confusion washed over you as she spoke, delaying your reply to her question. Usually you hated having someone else in your room, let alone your bed. Your room was your temple, you thought, your place of rest and peace, and your bed was your altar; you wouldn't even let Andy sleep in it. And yet, here was Illi McMillin sprawled across your plush, leopard print sheets; as if she had always lay there, as if the soft mattress had moulded around her figure as it had yours over the years, as if you had shared it from the day your father built it. Even more confusing, you weren't annoyed. She had done it with such nonchalance that you just accepted it, as though it were common occurrence.
Your pondering was brought to a halt as Illi waved a hand over your face, pulling you out of your daze. "You okay?" she asked with a chuckle, a semi-confused grin on her face. "Yeah, sorry, uh, where was I..." you began, turning your now-flushed face away from hers and returning your attention to the computer, which had finally loaded up. "Oh, yeah, the restaurant! Well, basically, me and Andy were meant to go on Saturday night after him and the boys went to some college-frat-open day thing," you continued, typing away at the keys as you spoke. "But they ended up at some frat party and got wasted, so we never ended up going," you answered, your files finally loading as you turned to face her, scribbling away in her notebook. "And...uh, how do you feel about that?" she probed, head rising from her sketchbook, face painted with varying strokes of both concern and thinly-veiled irritation; not towards you, but of how casually you had said it, as though this were standard. "It's whatever," you mumbled, trying to hide your faltering expression.
You had become well-accustomed to excusing and justifying everything he did. You would defend him time and time again, mostly from your father, who wasn't his biggest fan to say the least. Every date you were promised would be rescheduled and never was, every debatably flirtatious interaction with another girl, every night spent resting your head on a pillow damp with tears, you tolerated it all for him. At times even Lacey had said you were too forgiving, too good for him, but you continued turning a blind eye. Something about the way Illi looked at you, so sympathetic, so annoyed on your behalf, gave you some vision back.
The two of you worked quietly as the dull, greyish-blue sky outside shifted to a deep purple littered with bright, white stars amongst the dark, foreboding clouds. Muffled footsteps clambered up the stairs and down the hall, followed by a gentle knock at the door. "Come in!" you shouted, the door opening to reveal your mother behind it, pizza box in-hand. "Me and your father ordered some takeout and we figured you girls might be hungry," she began, entering the room. "It's just plain cheese because we weren't sure what you'd like, Illi, I hope that's okay," she continued, placing the box down between the two of you amongst the scattered papers and stationary. "That's very kind, thank you very much, ma'am," Illi replied, smiling. "I think I'm a little young for ma'am, don't you? Just call me Angie, sweetheart," your mother joked, grinning at the pair of you. You both laughed lightly, with you thanking your mum as she made her way back out of the room.
The scent of the freshly baked dough and gooey, melted cheese filled the room as you opened the lid, your stomach growling instinctually. "Do you want me to put something on whilst we eat? Or do you want anything to drink?" you asked, rising from the bed to turn the TV on. "Uh, sure, we can watch something," she began, her eyes following you as you moved. "And, do you have any Pepsi? Or Doctor Pepper, even?" she continued. "Yeah, we've got some Doctor Pepper, but you might need to wrestle my dad for it," you chuckled, turning back to face her as the TV flicked on. She let out a chuckle before you tossed her the remote, making your way to the door. "You can pick what we watch," you called back on your way out.
You traipsed down to the kitchen, pulling two ice cold cans from the fridge. You almost jumped out of your skin as you shut the door to discover your mother stood behind it. "She seems nice," she spoke softly as you desperately clung to the cans you had almost made airborne in your fright. "Jesus, Mum! Don't sneak up on me like that," you breathed as you sat the sodas down on the counter, clutching your now-pounding chest. "Sorry, hun!" she giggled at your dramatics. "But, really, she seems lovely! She's the kind of company you should keep around! And what a sweet face!" she exclaimed, rambling on as usual. "She is lovely, isn't she?" you muttered as she continued babbling, before grabbing the cans and heading back upstairs.
You returned to your room to find Illi sat upright, mouth watering at the pizza before her, a small grin playing upon your face. "Is it still too hot to eat?" you asked as you settled on your side of the bed, passing her a can. "No, I wanted to wait for you," she replied earnestly, meeting your gaze. A flutter of butterflies danced around lightly in your stomach as the two of you just sat and looked at each other for a moment, exchanging half-smiles and gentle, smouldering eyes. The warmth of your lamp painted her pale skin a soft amber shade, her flesh glowing and fuzzy in the light. Your mother's words replayed in your mind as you took her in, before 'South Park' resumed from the ads and interrupted the moment.
"A-Anyways, uh, shall we dig in?" you cleared your throat, feeling a thick air fill the room. "O-Oh, yeah, of course!" she replied, taking a brisk inhale as she spoke. The two of you sank slice after slice as Cartman's cutting, nasally voice blared from the television, lulls of laughter filling the room between mouthfuls. You polished off the pizza and lounged back against the headboard, agreeing to return to the project once the episode was finished. As you slumped against your pillows you found your bodies intrinsically drawn together; elbows resting against one another's, your knee resting ever so slightly on hers, hands laying mere inches from each other.
After giving your brains some rest and allowing your food to digest you resumed your work, finally completing your thesis before your practical presentation on Friday. "Thank God for that," Illi sighed as she began putting away her notebooks and papers. "I know right," you began, rubbing the bridge of your nose. "I can't believe we've been at this for almost five hours, I mean, when did it get so late?" you peered at your watch through blurry eyes. "Fuck, yeah, it's almost eleven, sorry to keep you up so late," she replied as she checked her phone. "Mikey's almost here so I'll be out of your hair soon," she chuckled. "Oh, don't be silly, I've actually enjoyed having you as my lab partner," you yawned, leaning back onto your elbow.
Heat spread across Illi's face in a scarlet blush, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "I've really liked having you as my lab partner too," she sang, placing her hand beside yours, within pinky's reach. Once more you locked eyes, though this time her face was not glowing or fuzzy but shadowed and angular as she bowed her head to look at you. Her gaze was still soft, but her eyes had narrowed on you slightly, as though behind the warmth loomed something burning. You felt your throat run dry as she eyed you, your heart throbbing slightly harder in your chest than before. "You know, you're very be-" she began in a low voice, before she was interrupted by her phone ringing.
"Okay, Mikey, I'll be out in a minute! Ever gave patience a try? God!" she grumbled, before flipping her phone shut. "Uh, Mikey's outside," she said, a sense of disappointment in her voice. "Oh, o-okay, let me see you out," you sprung up, desperate to flee the hot, heavy air your room was clouded with. The pair of you made your way out and down the hall to the front door, your mother bidding Illi farewell from the kitchen as she made her nightly cup of tea. "Well, uh, get home safe!" you half-smiled at her, the tension still lingering between you. "I hope I've not gotten you into too much trouble," you continued with a chuckle, trying to dispel the heat radiating from you both. "I'll take the scolding," she replied coolly, looking you up and down, before heading down the drive and into the car.
As they drove away you closed the door, pressing your back against it firmly after locking it. You let out a deep breath you weren't even aware you'd been holding in, and ran your hands through your hair. Your mind raced with the same three words playing on loop in your internal monologue; what the fuck. You ran up to your bedroom, dashing up the stairs two at a time, reaching your safe-haven and slamming the door behind you. You collapsed onto your bed, burying your face in the sheets. They smelled like her, the faint fragrance of black cherry and Marlboro cigarettes filling your airways with each breath. It was intoxicating. She was intoxicating. The downwards spiral in your mind continued as you lay there lifelessly; what was that shift in atmosphere? You feebly tried to convince yourself you had merely imagined it, but you could still feel it all around you, swelling within your room even after her departure. You could feel your blood pulsing through your veins, your guts swarming with something perverse, your skin flushed and tingly.
Just then there was a sharp tap on your window, making you jump up, wide-eyed, like a deer in the headlights. Frank stood on the other side of the glass, his cheery face turning to that of concern as you stared at him. You quickly got up, taking a sharp inhale as you opened the window for him. "You okay, man? You look like you've seen a ghost," he asked, his eyes brimming with worry, his voice low. "I was, uh, coming to see if you wanted to sit with me, and I, uh, noticed you laying there like a corpse for a while, uh," he continued after you didn't respond, chuckling awkwardly. "So I thought I'd check you were still alive, uh, but...I mean obviously you are! Uh, but you don't look too good...are you okay? You not feeling too hot?" he rambled on as he often did in uneasy situations, climbing into your room and sitting you down on the bed. "I-I'm fine, Frank, really, just, uh..." you began half-heartedly, rubbing your temples. "I can get you some water? Or painkillers? Or your mum? Something? Anything?" he stood in front of you biting his fingernails nervously, eyes blinking rapidly as he looked at you. "Honestly, it's fine, I'm fine, I jus-just have a lot on my mind, that's all," you answered in your most convincing voice.
Frank stood silently for a moment, eyeing you as he continued gnawing on his fingertips, before reaching into his pocket. "Would this help?" he quirked a brow at you as he pulled out one of the worst-rolled joints you had ever seen, which wasn't many. You narrowed your eyes on his poor craftsmanship, pursing your lips as you considered it. You'd only ever occasionally taken a few tokes at parties before, but you figured either it might give you some third-eye clarity or distract you for a while. "Fuck it," you decided, and with that Frank led the charge to the roof.
You closed your window slightly behind you, as to avoid the skunky smell infesting your room, before sitting down on the edge of the roof. Frank thumped down beside you, bringing a lighter to the end of the light brown, baggy paper, and lighting it up. "So...you wanna talk about it?" he spoke as he exhaled thick, grey smoke into the night air. "I don't even know what there is to say, I'm just...just confused," you replied, exasperated. "Well, what's confusing you? I mean, I know I'm not exactly smart, per se, but I can try and help," he offered you a half-smile as he passed you the joint. You reached out and took it between your fingers, bringing it to your lips and taking a puff. You watched small embers break off and float through the darkness as the sharp smoke seared your throat, a deep burning sensation filling your lungs. "I just feel like," you began, before being cut off by your own coughing. "I just feel like, I dunno, like, there's so much pressure on me, you know? To be what everyone wants me to be," you continued, taking another few drags before passing it back to him. "And, like, what if...what if I just can't be that? What if I don't want to be that?" you sighed, leaning back on your palms and staring up at the sky. "Well, I say, who cares what other people want you to be? It's your life, the only person you should be living for is you," he spoke calmly, his voice soothing you like an old favourite song you hadn't listened to in a while.
"I suppose you're right, it's just hard I guess! I feel like there's all these fuckin' expectations of me, and I dunno, I feel like maybe there's someone else inside me I wanna be that people won't like," you mumbled, your mind becoming fuzzy. Frank scooted closer to you, wrapping a warm arm around you and pulling your head onto his shoulder. "If this other you is who you truly are then the right people won't just like her, they'll love her! And anybody who doesn't can go fuck themselves," he asserted, rubbing your arm gently. "Hey, I'd love to meet this other you," he smiled at you, his eyes slightly bloodshot and closer to shut than open. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into a tight, warm hug. "Thanks, Frankie," you whispered as you held each other, before pulling back. "You look so fuckin' stoned, man," he laughed, your red, squinting eyes mirroring his own, infecting you with the giggles.
The two of you sat for a while in the cool, night air, laughing and reminiscing, when Frank's phone buzzed. "Who's texting you at this hour, Frank Iero?" you teased, making a suspicious face at him jokingly. "Nobody! Nobody!" he exclaimed, a smile forming on his face as he read the message. "I know that face, you've got a little something going on, haven't you?!" you challenged him, reaching for his phone. "Okay! Okay! Fine! I'll tell you!" he giggled as you tried to pry the Nokia from his hand. "You know Jesse? He was Mercutio in the play?" you were on tenterhooks as he spoke, looking at him with big, curious eyes as you nodded along. "Well, uh, we've been kinda seeing each other the last few weeks," he continued, a wide grin taking dominance over his face. "And you didn't tell me?! Oh my God, Frank!" you exclaimed, beaming at him. "Tell me everything, now!" you demanded, resting your chin on your knees like a child about to be read a fairy-tale.
Frank recounted the exchanging of glances and flirty note-passing that had taken place, of how he had bitten the bullet and asked for the boy's number, and of how they were going to the movies tomorrow together. The pair of you giggled and squealed like pre-teen girls would, discussing what he should wear, and how much cologne is too much. As he continued fawning over Jesse, it was as though some revelation had awoken in your mind as you paused for a moment. "Say, Frank...how'd you realise you were into boys?" you cocked your head at him as you queried, awaiting his response. "I dunno, I mean, it's always kinda been there? I used to make my G.I. Joe dolls bend each other over, it probably started there," he began, laughing. "I guess once I knew it was an option that was it. I mean it feels different with a guy, like more natural, I guess, like I don't have to try to like them," he continued, locking eyes with you as he spoke. "Hm," you mumbled back, weighing up his words in your head. "Why do you ask?" he replied, eyeing you. "Oh, no reason," you tried to be as inconspicuous as possible.
Frank narrowed his gaze on you, suspicion creeping into the back of his mind. It seemed you were forgetting Frank knew you, really knew you, he could read you like a book. He decided to test the waters. "I saw Illi at your house earlier, how'd the project go?" he probed, trying to push your buttons ever-so-slightly. "Uh, i-it went fine, we managed to get it all done," you replied abruptly, not meeting his gaze. "Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but you were sat in your room, right?" he continued, slightly more brazen now. "Yeah, we were in my room, what are you getting at?" you answered, looking anywhere but his face. "Nothing! Nothing! It's just you used to make me sit on the floor and sleep in the spare room," he began, trying to coax a reaction from you. "But she comes over one time and you're cuddled up in bed together? I just think it's a bit poor, really, I must say," he barbed, a mischievous look on his face. "We were not cuddled up! We were just eating pizza and watching South Park! That's all!" you protested, widening your eyes at him. "On your bed! Cut the shit, you never let anyone on that fuckin' princess bed, you always say people just mess it up and it smells weird after," he continued, raising his brows at you. "Hold on...were you huffing the sheets?" he guffawed, realisation washing over him. "No! I wasn't huffing fucking sheets!" you retorted, growing irate with his claims. "Well if you were just watching South Park and eating pizza, and you're not a sheet huffer, then why are you getting so defensive?" he asked, a smug sense of accusation in his voice. "I am not getting defensive!" you proclaimed, realising how high your voice had gotten and how animated you were being. "Fuck you," you chuckled in defeat as he laughed at you. "I'll say no more, I just think it's very interesting, is all," he smirked at you, to which you punched him in the arm.
Eventually, after another hour of waffling and theorising, the two of you returned to your bedrooms, with Frank saluting you as he entered his window. You climbed back into your room, closing the window gently behind you as to avoid waking your parents. You glanced at the clock with glazy, half-shut eyes to find it was 3:08 AM. You slipped on your pyjamas and dragged yourself into bed, cursing yourself in advance for how tired you'd be in the morning. Still partially baked, you melted into the soft pillows and mattress, enveloping yourself in the warm duvet as you closed your eyes. The faded scent of her perfume swilled in your head, lulling you to sleep with each breath you took.
This chapter took so long to write so you all better appreciate my friend’s masterpiece or I’ll show up and get you.
Guys I quit my job to focus on writing fanfic, when my notice is up expect greatness (more mediocre, drawn out, shitty gay writing)