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help us get meds for the baby and get my partner to the doctor

our baby is teething and has silent reflux and we need meds for her pain and stomach and our paychecks won’t be here til September 7. my partner has something seriously wrong with their neck and has been steadily increasing in pain for weeks to the point where they cannot easily pick up our child and I cannot stand to see them in pain like this.

please help us.

paypal is: [email protected]

squarecash: eattherichh

venmo: neoliberalismkills

neoliberalismkills

please reblog this - it just takes a second and helps us out immensely.

left-reminders

"There will come a time when our silence will be more powerful than the voices you strangle today!" - August Spies

#haymarket martyrs #may day #1956 #anarchism #1886 #1887

Am I even allowed to be upset when someone promises to do something for me, yet I know it won't actually happen? When I actually tell them that it won't actually happen, and I turn out to be right? It's like, yeah, sure, I knew it wouldn't happen, but couldn't you at least have had the common courtesy not to promise that you'd carry through with it, so that I wouldn't feel like shit over it not happening? Why even bother? What's the point? I really just don't get it.

#personal #obligations #depression

Probably one of the more dehumanizing aspects of food service is that people think common respect/courtesy are only required if you're buying something, and then only as part of a script. Like, if I'm working a station, and someone comes up and they're not sure whether or not they're going to buy anything, I say hello (as I do to the people who are sure). They will literally look up, meaning they heard me, say nothing, and then look back down. If they decide they don't want anything, they'll just walk away without saying anything at all. In the same vein, the whole scripting thing is bizarre. People will walk up and say some variation of "Hey, how are you," and then continue to give their order so close on the heels of the question that it actually would have been impossible to answer. It's fine, I guess. There are some alright people.

#work #food service #dehumanization

mxoliviasparrow-deactivated2017

neoliberalismkills

ugghhh really don’t want to make this post again l m a o

but hey, guess who (surprise) needs your help again!

so for a very quick rundown on my situation for those of u who don’t know: I escaped a very physically/emotionally abusive relationship and ran away to Arizona to crash at my grandma’s house until such a time as I am back on my feet

AND it’s going very well, I got this bitchin new job where I make captions for phone calls for deaf n hard-of-hearing people BUT I don’t get my first check till the 22nd

I need money for food and a bus pass so that I only have to walk 2 miles to work n not 5 which, now that the heat is in the 100s, is a lifesaver lemme tell u

so please: paypal.me/phoenixglass

squarecash: $PhoenixGlass (this is the quickest way but w/e works!)

thanks, y’all. you’re all babes and I love you.

I don't know how to explain how I ended up here. I just don't know. When I was young, I thought I was going to be a dancer. But realistically, I can't be a dancer. I was a fabric designer for a long time, but I hated that industry. I think that, unfortunately, the fact that I have been here as long as I have is not as much a testament to the quality of the job as it is to my complacency. I mean, this job is only meaningful to someone who really needs my assistance. I don't think that in the larger scheme of things being a salesperson has any meaning at all. And I think I'm a little stuck here because it's not an uncomfortable place to be, but it's not the place I want to be, either.

from the account of Alex Cho, Hat Salesperson, contained in Gig: Americans Talk About Their Jobs at the Turn of the Millennium (2000)

#capitalism #inertia #gig #class #dreams deferred

This low-level bickering surprised Laing, but after his arrival at the apartment building he soon recognized the extraordinary number of thinly veiled antagonisms around him. The high-rise had a second life of its own. The talk at Alice's party moved on two levels--never far below the froth of professional gossip was a hard mantle of personal rivalry. At times he felt that they were all waiting for someone to make a serious mistake.

from J.G. Ballard's "High-Rise"

#High-Rise #JG Ballard #antagonism

neoliberalismkills

look… I don’t expect this to go anywhere, but I’m at the end of my rope.

I am in a state w no one but a man who hits me. I’m bruised, I’m tired, I’m scared. my family is far away. I am alone.

I can’t find a place to go. a tiny town so there’s nowhere to go. help me get to a hotel or… something. god, please help me.

my Paypal is [email protected]. Thank you.

eraserz

Fun Little Depression Things That Piss Everyone Else Off

- Forgetting literally everything from phone calls to visits to where you put your wallet(I just had it I swear )

- Needing 12 hours of sleep everyday but only in the middle of the day

- Void days

- “I’ll clean my room tomorrow” everyday

- eating everything or nothing

stag-bi

- being bitter about other ppl having fun and being happy

- feeling guilty/like a failure when u cant be happy for other ppl

- TERRIBLE, ALL-CONSUMING JEALOUSY

- being angry at other ppl when you just dont have the energy to be angry at urself anymore

- whining allllll the time

- talking abt how u wanna die but knowing its annoying everyone and making everyone upset but u cant stop talking abt it

becuzitisbitter

When I started writing all my feelings down about this, I meant it as sort of a worker’s inquiry (despite never having read an actual worker’s inquiry in my life) but instead found myself realizing that I’m actually just mad. Like, super mad. Not only does my job suck so hard that I legitimately contemplate throwing myself down the stairs on my way to the staff bathroom so I can claim some workman’s comp, but also because we’re here staring at the ugly mug of the end of the world. Like, bruh, I read the news. I don’t wanna be just another dick on the internet making apocryphal claims re: the apocalypse, but California is drying up. Oregon and Washington (and California, again) are fucking on fire. The ice caps are melting, bees are disappearing (???) and the world is generally becoming more and more strange as we realize how indifferent it is to our survival, which would be cool if the planet was, idk, an absentee parent or a long-lost romantic interest: the sort of thing whose indifference we’ve already learned how to cope with, but I spent a good part of my life really thinking that mankind’s big problem was gonna be the sun exploding in five billion years and then I grow up just to learn that shit’s gonna get super hairy in my lifetime? And I have to spend my time before then sitting around at work handing out cups of noodles and listening to so many stories about gendered violence that they start sounding like madlibs where only the names, dates and places have been changed? That’s some shit, man. I mean, work would still suck even if one day I was gonna get to retire to some beautiful grassy meadow somewhere that looked like The Shire but where everyone was really cute and had a crush on me and life was free of troubles, but if all I get to look forward to is an increasingly depressing, dystopian cyberpunk future interspersed with exponentially-worsening deadly acts of g-d (which are actually byproducts of our shitty cyberpunk society that doesn’t even have the sweet aesthetic I was promised by 1980’s sci-fi movies), then this sucks, and I’m not having it. Anyway, fuck work. Fuck my job. Fuck all jobs, but fuck mine in particular. Y’know?

http://www.ultra-com.org/project/fuck-work/ (via johnbrownsbodyy)

atlanxic-deactivated20250205

sometimes you say or do bad things while you’re in an awful mental place. sometimes you say things that are rude or uncalled for or manipulative. and i’m not going to hold that against you. mental illness is hard, and no one is perfect. but once you’re through that episode, you need to take steps to make amends. you need to apologize.

“i couldn’t help it, i was having a bad episode” is a justification, not an apology.

“i’m so fucking sorry, i fucked up, i don’t deserve to live, i should stop talking to anyone ever, i should die” is a second breakdown and a guilt trip. it is not an apology.

when you apologize, the focus should be on the person you hurt. “i’m sorry. i did something that was hurtful to you. even if i was having a rough time, you didn’t deserve to hear that,” is a better apology. if it was a small thing, you can leave it at that.

if you caused significant distress to the other person, this is a good time to talk about how you can minimize damage in the future. and again, even if it is tempting to say you should self-isolate and/or die, that is not a helpful suggestion. it will result in the person you’re talking to trying to talk you out of doing that, which makes your guilt the focus of the conversation instead of their hurt.

you deserve friendship, and you deserve support. but a supportive friend is not an emotional punching bag, and mental illness does not absolve you of responsibility for your actions. what you say during a mental breakdown doesn’t define you. how you deal with the aftermath though, says a lot.

nebet-ren

This is the most carefully-nuanced discussion of this I think I have ever seen. Thank you for writing this.

Is it alright for me to feel really shitty? I left a group I was a part of recently, and one of the reasons was that I didn't really feel like anyone even cared if I was there or not. Since, not a single person from that group has approached me, either in person or otherwise, to ask why I left, express disappointment/anger/whatever, or literally just to talk. Of course, after one of the only two people I considered actual friends is gone, I have to be reminded that I have no friends, am incapable of making any friends, and that, regardless, no one would want to be friends with me anyway. I can't believe I manage to keep forgetting that.

#personal

neoliberalismkills

IT’S THE FINAL COUNTDOWNNNN

without boring you with the details, here it is: we pulled together money for the car to drive me back home. due to a miscalculation on the side of my dearest, sweetest grandmother who is quickly developing Alzheimer, we were only made aware of this price a day ago or so.

we need to gather $170 by tomorrow. like, this is a timed mission, speed level, etc.! I gotta get home to my partner and I damn sure have to bring my cats with me. I gotta keep my tiny, makeshift family together.

please PLEASE send some capital my way. I am wracking my brain for other solutions so if I happen to find one, I will refund all donations.

thank you. you are an angel among capitalist.

click this lovely, enticing sentence to help Phoenix and her two cats, Azula and Nipple, home safe home~

neoliberalismkills

AS A BONUS, YOU WILL GET A PICTURE OF MY CAT WITH EACH MILESTONE WE REACH. BEHOLD: NIPPLE.

maritimegothic

i think a big thing that disconcerts adults about learning new skills is that learning as an adult means you are very aware of how bad you are at the beginning in a way children aren’t.

i picked up the saxophone when i was 11 and played until i was about 17. by the end of it i was first chair in our highest ensemble, a district honor band player, etc. but at the beginning – and this is important – i was bad. for the first year or so, i had no rhythm, i couldn’t make my tongue line up with my fingers, i was consistently sharp, etc. etc. other kids actually made fun of me for my lack of skill.

but 11 year old me didn’t care. 11 year old me practiced, but she also thought that being able to play the pink panther made her incredible (i shudder in retrospect). i mean, i was aware i wasn’t a master, but my skill level didn’t deter me from wailing out those notes in a way that i’m sure had my band director questioning his career decisions.

right now, i’m trying to pick up the guitar. it’s a very different instrument from the saxophone, and i struggle a lot with things like strumming patterns and barre chords. and sometimes i don’t want to play, because i know i’m bad at guitar. and sometimes i beat myself up when stumbling through a poor acoustic rendition of Everybody Wants to Rule the World because it’s not how i want it to sound. and it’s made even more frustrating because i can navigate the saxophone so smoothly.

but then i remember that i have to think like a kid. i might not be the best at guitar by any stretch of the imagination, but every little bit of progress is still progress. humility is a big part of learning, but if you treat a practice session like your own private concert, it becomes so much more fun, even if you’re bad like i am. when you’re first picking up a skill, whether it be an instrument, or a language, or a fine art, no one is expecting you to be the yo yo ma of that thing. forget about how little you know about the skill and think instead about how much you have to learn – that’s fun! do your best!!

laboradorescence

i find that as you get older, people think that you have less of an excuse to be bad at things, no matter when you started learning them

but after you get good suddenly people start praising you for “being ahead of the curve”

the instant you can start divesting yourself from this horrid world of expectation, the easier it becomes to try any new thing

zakuro-san

Guys this is so important!! Give yourselves some slack and just keep on trucking! Just focus on yourself and be proud of what you have achieved so far. Even if what you achieved is a little thing, little pieces pile up eventually to something big! You’re doing great, keep it up :D

glumshoe

I pretend to be complex and clever but in reality, nothing has ever made me laugh harder than those bad Chinese subtitles from the bootleg Lord of the Rings DVDs. Tears streaming down my face, core aching, slowly suffocating because I’m laughing too hard.