Time Loop Luncheon

𐐐𐐅 𐐃𐐡 𐐏𐐅? 𐐐𐐍 𐐔𐐆𐐔 𐐏𐐅 𐐘𐐇𐐓 𐐐𐐀𐐡?

[anonyymoose]

boss makes a lemon i make a lime. we work at the citrus factory

[sawed-on-shotgun]

when youre looking at a half moon and can sort of make out the full circular shape of it and suddenly register that its an actual physical object in space that is real and tangible and exists and its not just a projection in the sky

[charl0ttan]

horses cant scratch themselves but humans cant go fast. we support this legandary partnership

[cutecipher]

fuuuck. they spent $1...

[crabussy]

walking up to a parent and a child and saying haha that smaller one kind of look like you lol that’s weird

[dubiousculturalartifact]

The new Odyssey adaptation has inevitably gotten people talking about a Muppet version of it, and they’re frequently suggesting Kermit as Odysseus, Miss Piggy as Penelope.

I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:

We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.

Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?

It ain’t Kermit

[anyroads]

Miss Piggy tied to the mast while Statler and Waldorf heckle her from the sea

[middleearthorcseeksspaceorc]

I would watch this forever.

[winged-void]

just remembered that my middle school bullies were named Chase and Hunter. what was up with that. what was going on there.

[myriapoda-1306]

One time I came home from uni very upset and my younger siblings asked what's wrong. I said that mutated flies in our lab escaped because someone broke their jar. I didn't even realise how scary it sounded to them until I saw their faces lmao. I was upset because we were short on said flies (they don't reproduce very well) and my siblings thought that some crazy radioactive fly monsters escaped and we are all fucked now. Love being a mad scientist in their eyes lowkey

[thatsoup]

The light inside an oven is crucial to getting breads to rise. Without the light inside simulating the sun, the bread can't tell which way is up, leaving it twisted and ruined.

[default-cube]

who up wasting their only shot at life through complete and utter inaction

[wordfather]

[markovchaingang]

fired from my job at the microbiology lab and having to carry all my things out in a little cardboard box the size of a thimble

[batsandboba]

me: hey inat i found this weird bug in the bathroom can you help me out? it’s like a moth fly thing

inat:

hm. well. can’t argue with that i guess.

[zmpl]

i had a dream that there was a new pokemon challenge called “pokemon normal” where you could only use pokemon that closely resemble their real-life animal counterparts (e.g. you could use rattata because it closely resembles a rodent, but not pikachu) and you could only use moves that a real-life animal could do (e.g. tackle, growl, bite, scratch, etc)

[greelin]

kind of feel bad because there’s a cardinal who visits frequently and i guess it’s molting time so. you know. but whenever he shows up to get nuts and i happen to notice him i just shout BALDDDDD. every single time

[sinsinewave]

for some reason i constantly have to stop myself from reading "detroit" as if it's a french word

[anonyymoose]

went to the beach ten minutes after an actual thunderstorm and got so cold i started coming up with a “fish” cover of creep by Radiohead which I was singing out loud over and over again. imagine me waist deep in the waves no feeling in my legs getting over a cold voice singing “i wish i was urchin. you’re so fucking urchin”