Team Free Will: A Complete Beginner’s Guide, by Dean Winchester.
1. This is Dean. The star of the show.
He specializes in being being heterosexual and kicking monster ass.
2. There are three things Dean Winchester absolutely does not do:
3. He’s also always 100% honest with himself.
4. This is Sam. Also known as “the less handsome one.”
He specializes in having stupidly long, girly hair and being really tall.
5. Dean absolutely does not project his personal issues onto Sam.
Like wearing women’s underwear.
Or being attracted to guys.
6. He’s a bit of a weirdo.
(But if you touch even one stupidly long hair on his head, I’ll skip rope with your entrails.)
He specializes in being a weird, dorky little guy and having stupidly pretty, stupidly blue eyes with stupidly long lashes, that you just want to heterosexually drown in forever.
Oh yeah, and then there’s the whole “angel” thing.
8. Cas doesn’t really get sarcasm. Or pop culture references (though he’s kinda gotten better at that last part.)
When he’s confused, he tilts his head to the side and scrunches up his eyebrows, and you kinda just want to heterosexually hold him forever and ever.
9. And most importantly, Dean Winchester is NOT attracted to Castiel.
He doesn’t have wet dreams about the sound of his voice.
He doesn’t touch him just a little more than he needs to, and think about it for days on end.
He never thinks about what it would be like to cook for him, and cuddle up on the sofa, and watch chick flicks together.
I mean, yeah, he does occassionally fantasize about what it would be like to run his fingers through his hair, but don’t ALL straight guys do that with their platonic bro-pals?
And yeah, he has occasionally gotten a heterosexual boner while looking at him, but that’s only natural. I mean, just look at the guy.
So yeah, Dean Winchester is not attracted to Cas. Because Dean Winchester is 100% straight.
10. So yeah , that’s Team Free Will: one ex-bloody junky, a high school dropout and my boyf- my huggy bear- and CAS.
And no, we’re not accepting any new admissions.
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