Whoa Plants

I'm not here to fuel your hippie plant blog aesthetic

[flora-file]

[flora-file]

Haworthia cooperi (by flora-file)

[cireks]

As if "swallowed by the earth" is a way to describe someone who's gone missing without a trace, particularly in the woods, but in Ditovo it may be more than just a saying. At least if you believe the many legends and folktales about giant plumsaina, or as they're more commonly known "earth belly". The plant does exist but usually it is only big enough to catch small vertebrates, which it does when prey step onto its camouflaged trap door and fall into the pit of the plant filled with digestive liquid and downward pointing spikes preventing escape. The roots of the plant are for storing nutrients and other substances, as well as firmly anchoring the plant in the ground when prey is thrashing about inside it. In order to reproduce the earth belly sprouts a red flower above the surface, a red flag that may perhaps save the life of one who recognizes it.

[flora-file]

Crassula corymbulosa ‘Red Pagoda’ (by flora-file)

[thememedaddy]

[headspace-hotel]

Speaking of willows. There's a species of willow. Salix herbacea. Known as the Dwarf Willow. And this thing. IT ONLY GROWS 1-6 CENTIMETERS TALL. IT'S KNOWN AS "ONE OF THE SMALLEST WOODY PLANTS" BECAUSE ITS A TREE THAT DECIDED TO BE 1 CENTIMETER HEIGHT

[headspace-hotel]

just look at it. incredible

[headspace-hotel]

It lives waaaay up in the Arctic. There's actually a bunch of willows that evolved to be tiny in the Arctic regions. but this one is the most tiny

[mushroominawaterbottle]

Cryptozoology is my favourite kind of fake science stuff. Wish there was also cryptobotany, like mothman but its just a really big fern in the middle of a field with literally nothing else around it , that spawned in the dead of night, might have killed a few people and never shows up in photos, and no one is sure its even real

[lord-aldhelm]

Hey guys, I found a cool leaf today.

That's it, that's the post.

I put it on my flatbed scanner. And scanned it. Very cool.

[o-kurwa]

Huacrapona palm tree

[ghrugirlclub]

[tauforged]

why does my caladium act like she is starving for light. hang on

[tauforged]

every day i ahve to reposition the damn lamp cuz she’s dead set on sticking her first leaf Right The Fuck In There and i don’t want her to burn. but every day i come home from work and she has closed the distance anyway. bestie PLEASE cooperate with me

[tauforged]

i finally caved and moved her to the windowsill but this has clearly not satisfied her because she still presses that leaf RIGHT up against the glass

[tauforged]

apparently instead of actually growing new leaves in order to increase her light intake she’s decided that these are PERFECT conditions to flower in

BABYGIRL YOU HAVE ONE LEAF PLEASE

[jackalopeonline]

[cleverwordsandotherstuffilike]

Peacock Plant

[captainhowdie]

dot marimo

[floverious]

Milliat Fleurs 

[snaps-away]

[botanyshitposts]

a couple months ago someone sent me an ask asking if I’d ever heard of Boquila trifoliolata and I was like ‘no way. this can’t be real’ and i looked it up and it was and I forgot about it until just now when my supervisor and I got sidetracked and I looked it up again to prove to her that it’s real and found out that not only does this plant vaguely mimic the leaves of whatever plant it’s vining on, it does it when it climbs on fake plants too so any theories about how it does it that include gene transfer or chemicals or touching it in any way are just out the window and those were like, the only theories the original researchers had about how it might be doing it. so anyway I am screaming and crying and whatnot

[whoaplants]

Bruh what

[botanyshitposts]

Hows the corn plant doing .o.

i hate to say this but alas, it did not make it. the grate it grew in was in a high-traffic area where people needed to push and pull large objects for up to 8 hours a day. i could only protect it for so long. i tried to lift the grate up to rescue it, and couldnt even get it to budge. hephaestus himself hammered that shit into existence and they must have installed that 1 square foot metal grate with a crane as a little man stood nearby stroking his handlebar mustache. i get its just there to catch water from the industrial sink like 3 feet away but one day somebody's phone or something is gonna fall down there and THEN it'll be a crisis.

the dude's final height was about 8 inches tall; it made its way through the grate and had a pretty long first leaf growing. in doing this (falling down a cold wet grate surrounded by cement into a pile of sand), it accidentally recreated a test we do here called a cold test, which tests how various seeds perform under cold and wet conditions by putting them on soaking wet substrate in a fridge and letting them sprout there. a good result is a plant that looks normal, if not a little shorter and weaker than it would have grown in an incubator. in the context of that test, it would have done very well.

i apologize for saddling you all with corn grief...... i take refuge in the fact that the next seed that falls down there and germinates will be able to feed off the nutrients of its dead body. rip king

[budcortfancam]

[ilovecocina-deactivated20160622]

*me sees it raining* me: good the plants deserve this