this Tumblr will mostly b for my ao3 updates & overall silliness!! Here’s why you should really follow me & listen to what I have to say! 😁
my AO3 Is whodancy
&& currently i am writing:
Yours & Mine (Haymitch x Effie | Hunger Games)
Saviour Complex (Grian x Scar | Life Series)
** i do Not write explicit! i usually aim for General audiences or Mature (if im being silly)
Regarding Asks:
- ask anything!!! literally anything! although i will / have organized all my posts by a hashtag depending on the ship ! so search up th ship name and it’ll be there =) Probably. also to make sure there are no repeat questions, gonna use #FAQ to organize all future Asks!
Upload schedule:
- i fear I do not have one. i try to update at least One of my fics per month, but i’ll use this Tumblr to update what WIP I’m currently working on anyway!
Please read some of my fics today!!! ❤️❤️❤️ & feel free to put in some Asks if you are wondering something. & my Dms are open if you just wanna send me stuff too! =)
i think stories without a romantic subplot are so important actually because i didn’t even realize how much internalized aphobia i had rolling around in there until i saw ryland grace be genuinely happy and fulfilled by platonic relationships
wip just so you know that a: I'm still alive? b: I love this movie normal amount c: I can't find a reference for his stupid ass awesome quilt so it's a random-bullshit-go time
I don’t think it was *one* moment in particular, but rather a series of events that led to his feelings and his growing awareness that they exist. They are:
1) Clarke mercy kills Atom; Bellamy realizes she’s more than capable of making hard choices.
2) Day Trip: Bellamy finds someone he can trust and rely on, and someone who believes in him. He’s never really had that before. Also before everything went to hell he noticed she was pretty.
3) Clarke tackle-hugs him and Bellamy realizes just how broken he’d have been if he never found her.
4) Clarke says “I can’t lose you too;” Bellamy reels from the implication.
5) He’s the last person she says goodbye to before leaving and there’s something inside of him screaming to be let out–something telling him that he can’t let her go because he can’t be without her. He ignores that voice and lets her go because what she needs is more important than what he wants.
6) They receive intelligence that Clarke is being hunted. Bellamy loses his goddamn mind with worry, especially after finding Niylah beat to a pulp.
7) He finds her, bruised and tied up but alive. The rest of the world fades away, and when it comes roaring back in the form of Roan and pain, Clarke bargains his life for hers.
8) He breaks.
9) Bellamy tries to save her again but this time she rejects him. He breaks again.
10) Clarke comes to him for help and he can’t break again, not when he’s already broken. So instead he tries to break her, because he’s in so much pain and she doesn’t seem to understand why.
That was seriously overdramatic of me (sorry can’t help myself) but my summary would be: Bellamy slowly fell in love with her over the second half of season one and all of season two. He almost admitted his feelings for her to himself at the end of 3x02, but the triple whammy of Clarke staying in Polis, losing Gina, and then Clarke trying to use him (from his POV) in 3x05 has made him want to ignore those feelings even harder now.
OKAY, SO WHILE I WAS HUNTING DOWN GIFS TO RESPOND TO THIS…THIS GLORY WAS ADDED. THANK YOU.
And the three gifs that sum things up for me all link up with your list (I agree with ALL of it btw)
So yeah…1x03 was the moment where he realised that she was SOMEONE.
And then Day Trip was the episode where I think he started to get all tingly, and honestly…it snowballed after this episode and I could pick pretty much all of their interactions from that point. BUT I’m going to pick THIS moment because he was just like WOW.
BUT THE MOMENT I THINK BELLAMY REALISED HE’S IN LOVE WITH CLARKE?? (Note: I don’t know if he’s accepted it yet, because 3x03 happened and it BROKE him so he might very well be mired in complete denial right now BUT)
FOR SOME DUMB REASON I CANNOT FIND THE GIF BUT…. ‘WE CAN’T LOSE CLARKE.’ There is a REASON that 3x02 exists, and there is a REASON that EVERYBODY got a reaction shot to Bellamy’s outburst.
I’m here for this because @nataliecrown I totally agree about this little moment in 1x08, just because look at Bellamy. He’s already started to just minutely tune into Clarke the way you do when you’re IN to someone, you know? Like he’s watching her talk about him in a way he’s never heard anyone talk about him- giving him credit for saving all their lives when his whole life he’s felt like he could be on the brink of getting his mother and Octavia killed. But then Clarke turns to look at him and look at the little minute shift in him, his eyebrow lifts just slightly, he almost flinches under her gaze because she sees so much in him, things he can’t see in himself. But then instead of pulling back, he just sort of turns just slightly more toward her, opening up to her gaze. Like fuck, the boy is there for her, he’s ready to be whatever she needs because she sees him as more than a monster, as more than family. She doesn’t “owe” him anything and yet she’s bargaining for his life with full confidence in him. Yeah, it’s all down hill from there. (I just stared so hard at that gif for like 10 minutes, sorry not sorry)
I agree with all of this but I have to ask WHAT ABOUT THE FIRE SIDE!!??? What about that moment when he’s watching her sleep and he realizes (I think) that Octavia was no longer the only person he couldn’t do without. This was I think the show’s interpretation of that iconic line from the book.
Octavia was the only person in the world who truly knew him. There was no one else he really cared about ever seeing again. But then he glanced over Clarke, who was leaning over to breathe in the scent of a bright pink flower, the sun catching the gold strands in her hair, and suddenly he wasn’t so sure. –Kass Morgan
(Side note: Okay, when I first start to reply to this post, it was late and I started to making dinner, taking a bath, all of that stuff xD
So, I already realized that I lost a lot of replies, but I’m going to hijack this one and add what I wrote anyway xD Have fun! xD )
Let’s start.
I think this moment:
Changed everything to Bellamy.
Every single thought he has about her being a privileged princess, changed here.
He started to see her in a whole new way after this scene.
I’m not saying that he started to fall in love with her, I’m just saying that his previous opinion about her, changed radically in this scene.
The truth is: Clarke choose help Atom to die because Bellamy didn’t have the guts to kill him. When she said: “Ok. I’m going to help you, alright?” in that moment, even without knowing, she’s not only help Atom but Bellamy as well. Not only Clarke was helping to ease Atom pain, she was helping easing Bellamy‘s at the same time.
Now, let’s talk about “Day Trip”. Yeah, I’m not going to lie, it’s one of my favorites Bellarke episodes xD
Feelings, so many feelings in this episode!
Let’s see, Bellamy Blake is not used to be put in the first place you know?
He’s the one who puts everyone first, he took care of Octavia his whole life, he took care of the Camp in the beginning (I’m not saying the way he did it it was the right way to do it okay? I’m not defending his actions from the beginning of the show.) but I think that, in the moment he sees Clarke trying to save him from Dax and being attacked by him, he’s thinking: What the hell did I do to deserve being put first? When this happened? Why is she risking her life, trying to save me?
I know that by this time, their relationship already changed a lot (Never forget that when they were torturing Lincoln he says to Clarke “You don’t have to be here for this.” - not saying the same to Octavia, HIS SISTER, that was in the same room… or when he touched her hand saying: “Who we are and who we need to be to survive are very different things.), BUT I’m sure as hell that seeing Clarke defending him is/was a big deal for him.
And it’s even more of a big deal when she tries to ease his pain, when she offers him forgiveness and says that she needs him. That they all need him.
The same way when she asks for Jaha to forgive him. This is a big deal for Bellamy, because she CHOOSE to help him, despite their hard beginning.
So, who wants to talk about the massive flirting between this two on “Unity Day”?
I totally think Bellamy’s feelings started to change here. Well, I think he started to “fall in love” with Clarke by the end of “Day Trip”, but this episode is a massive case of flirting between them.
Clarke is no innocent either.
Their glances say it all.
They both feel attracted for each other and no one is going to convince me otherwise.
I think that he started to fall in love before her.
I have a big problem in figure Clarke out because personally, I identify myself with Bellamy a lot.
Even when I’m writing fanfiction is difficult for to write in another point of view besides Bellamy’s.
She cares about him, she’s attracted to him and hell, she has feelings for him as well, he’s the person she trusts the most (again, no one is going to convince me otherwise), I just think she’s too afraid to let her feelings go and act according to them.
For me, the realization of Bellamy’s feelings for Clarke come in this scene:
The way all of this scene happens is, clearly, to show us something more.
To show us that HE FEELS MORE THAN FRIENDSHIP FOR HER.
The realization of this is undeniable, ESPECIALLY because they choose to focus on him, on the way he looks at Octavia first and on the way he looks at Clarke second.
(I’m no expert here, but I think that every single scene between them has a meaning behind, the way they focus on their faces, their hands, their eyes…And let’s not talk about the hug…)
I wrote about the “I can’t lose you too.” scene on here a while ago.
I think that scene is so important for them, for their relationship.
After everything Clarke has been through, the only constant in her life is Bellamy. She trusts him more than she trusts her own mother.
She believes in him, she knows he’s there for her, to support her, to believe in her, to not let her down. Bellamy is her constant and after losing Finn, she can’t lose him because if that happens, she’s going to lose herself in the process.
Again, Bellamy’s face in this scene kills me. A second ago he was willing to leave her, his sister, and everyone else to go to MW to save his people, but with one single line, Clarke convinces him to stay.
He doesn’t take orders from her, but she can’t lose him and she needs him. From all the other reasons that could have make him stay (being killed in a dangerous mission, never see Octavia again…) he’s staying because of her, because she asked him to.
If this isn’t love, I don’t know what love his.
If Season 3, Episode 2 isn’t a serious case of showing the audience “Bellamy Blake Is In Love With Clarke Griffin.” I don’t know what they were expecting.
Everything about that episode was about Bellarke.
Everything about that episode was about feelings.
The way he reacts when he sees her in the cave. The way he touches her. The way he smiles. Gosh, I died.
The way he goes “beyond and above” to save her is a proof of how much he cares, of how much he loves her.
He doesn’t need to say out loud “I LOVE CLARKE GRIFFIN” because his actions show the audience that he does. (even when we know he has a girlfriend…RIP Gina - you deserved better)
When he says “WE CAN’T LOSE CLARKE. WE CAN’T LOSE HER.” - we all can see how much it hurts him being so close to save but not being able of actually doing it.
P.S.: Let’s just add a few more scenes.
Last one:
I’m so sorry for how long this has become, but with a last comment, I’m reblogging this:
(Silently waiting for the post about Clarke feelings for Bellamy :b)
Hii, my mind has been running every direction all at once lately, so RAW BULLET POINTS IT IS! 💥🔫
● It all starts when Jimmy asks Grian to help him with bore holes for their survey last fall.
(In his head, Grian agrees the very first time Jimmy comes to him, but enjoys taunting him for another week nontheless)
The place is in the middle of nowhere, and the entire way there — the entire long, tiring, mostly off-road way there — Grian wonders how they found this valley to begin with. Locals in the last village they pass smile at them condescendingly; forester is a bit more straight-forward: they look like three presumptuous idiots, Joel, Jimmy and himself, with their car getting stuck miserably at one point.
The very first bore hole drills directly into a human skull.
The complex swirl of emotions on Jimmy's face is like nothing Grian has seen before.
And so it was settled.
● (Yes, the skull they drill into was Jimmy's.)
● Next summer Grian brings along Mumbo, his fellow geologist and dear friend ever since their university times; he has never worked with archeologists before and is, naturally, chuffed to bits.
Scar has been eager for some kind of vacation for a long time, too, and gladly takes the opportunity to try something new.
The only other wild card in otherwise pretty well-established group of archeologists is Tango, who lost a bet to Skizz and is now stuck helping his boys.
(Cub was invited by multiple people as well, but sadly he's too busy with work and couldn't make it, despite planning to. Scar calls him every time he's able to catch the signal).
● At first everything goes normally. They get to the place, set up their camp near old cabin of local gamekeeper, move their provisions and most of the equipment inside the cabin, check out the river and find a good spot to get down to it easily. The weather is pretty nice, the nature around is gorgeous. The first time they go to take a proper look at the site itself Grian feels a bit dizzy, but he doesn't pay much attention to it and quickly joins the discussion of outlines of the buildings visible on the ground.
● The oddities begin a couple of days later, when they finish with the camp and start the actual work.
Specifically, Grian starts acting weird.
Not like it's out of character for him, but neither Scar, nor Joel or Mumbo recall him having, say, troubles with hearing; now, often he's not reacting when someone calls out to him directly, but mentions hearing people talk when nobody spoke. Sometimes he looks openly lost or suddenly stops in his tracks and gives them confused glances, as if wanting to ask something or surprised to see them. A couple of times he wonders off into the woods alone (to "check what's out there" )
The gang are reasonably worried about him, but hesitate to confront him openly. Most of them are not exactly familiar with Grian's personal life and don't want to overstep, and each time someone who is tries, he brushes them off.
● At some point in the beginning of the second week, Grian suddenly breaks into laughter when they uncover yet another skeleton. It's loud, abrupt. Hysterical.
Scar, who's getting real concerns now, steadies him by the shoulders and leads him away from the sun, back to the camp; but Grian barely notices.
On their way from the site, Grian locks eyes with Scott, who goes pale and stays that way for the rest of the day. That's enough for Grian to gather he's not the only one who's rapidly going insane.
● And Grian starts thinking he's going insane. At first he blames it on the nerves. The last couple of months have been stressful, the weather is hot lately, he's not getting enough sleep, he must have overworked himself...
But this barely explains what he's actively hallucinating, and eventually it all sinks in. The realization, the deja vus. The dread. The feeling of being trapped, helpless, stuck in a loop he had no idea existed and likely has no control over.
He withdraws into himself and starts avoiding people; particularly Scar, because oh, Grian is terrified of visions of him. Of hearing his voice say words he can't understand, of echo of his laughter carried through the valley, of his silhouette following him along the treeline. Of seeing what remains of his bones and trying not to throw up.
There are visions of others, too, and they mess with Grian's head all the same, sure, but Scar is just... different. Too much. Grian can't look him in the eye now, can't stand the warmth of his touch. But can't get away either.
They must've loved eachother then, too. He can tell.
This revelation makes Grian feel relieved and betrayed at the same time, and all he can think about is the question of free will.
● Scar is very confused by this change, even when he starts getting visions of his own.
Grian doesn't kiss him anymore. Doesn't smile at him. Often doesn't even sit near him or Mumbo at breakfast and lunch, too deep in conversation with Big B. He refuses to talk about this; ignores Scar only to suddenly brush shoulders or lean into him, and then act like it never happened.
Worst of all is the way Grian is looking at him lately — well, mostly he doesn't, — but when he does, it's with an emotion Scar can't identify. A mix of anger, sorrow, longing, guilt, and something else, much softer, tender. It drives Scar crazy.
Most of the expedition members don't even know there's something between them. Although they were never officially together, so even Scar himself is not sure anymore. He thought they were fine, but apparently he messed something up, didn't he? Overstepped somewhere, misunderstood something, rushed, did something wrong... Otherwise why would Grian be like this when they're clearly meant to be together, what in the world is he doing to both of them? Is he blind??
● (I really liked how poetically Birdie put this when I rambled about it to them):
● And so, while Grian is staring at visions of Scar from the past with fear and sorrow, Scar chases the visions of Grian, curious about this version of him, needing to know more. He feels uneasy about some of the hallucinations at times, sure, but they intrigue him nevertheless.
● The expedition carries on, nevermind the awkward silences between people, half-truths, shared looks of confusion and deep, unspoken sadness.
● Scar paints local views, trees, mountains, the riverbank. Sometimes Bdubs or Pearl join him and they disappear together for hours, only to later return with hands full of sketches, wet canvases and Scar's trusty painter's case, with smudges of oil paint all over their hands and faces, laughing and chatting.
He tries to be a bit more sneaky about this, but he also draws people, Grian chief among them: little portraits of him are scattered all across his sketchbook, both real and the one from the visions. Along with Jimmy, Lizzie, Mumbo, Bdubs and others.
● They find a couple of old fishing rods in the cabin, and with a bit of tinkering and Etho's professional fishing kit, there's an impromptu fishing club on the weekends. Grian finds some peace in these evenings.
● The work goes at a fast pace; there are very few problems with identifying artefacts and deciding where to expand the excavation next. Nobody bothers asking questions anymore.
Pearl stops talking to Scott. Martyn doesn't seem to leave Ren's side. Cleo frowns at them and sticks to teasing Etho and Bdubs.
● The breaking point comes when the weather gets bad. There are several rainy days in a row, and they're forced to mostly stay at the camp and busy themselves with cleaning and cataloging the artefacts. Grian sorts through things that used to belong to some other version of him and decides he can't take it anymore. He wants to leave. As soon as possible, as far as possible. This prompts a heated discussion amongst archeologists, but Cleo gives Grian a knowing look and backs him up, assuring Martyn she'll deal with the paperwork herself when they return at the end of the season (and will personally make sure Grian doesn't get a single penny out of this). Besides, they've been planning on sending Joel to the store anyway.
● Scar is not as nonchalant when he learns about this, — did Grian even plan to tell him?
He's mad, in fact.
Upset and done with playing this silent game with ever-changing rules, he confronts Grian about what's going on; about them and their history (both as they knew it and the one discovered more recently).
(here's a little snippet):
They fight outside as the rain gets heavier and heavier, and Scar storms off to "check if the site is properly covered", secretly hoping to see a vision of Grian from the past there; he'd be much more pleasant to deal with right now, that's for sure.
Grian doesn't follow.
He returns to the camp alone. Joel tells him there's no way they're driving through the mess that are the forest roads right now, and nobody sees him for the rest of the evening.
● The next day Scar wakes up with a nasty cold. The sun comes out, though. It's getting hot again.
● The worst of the puddles and the mess on the road dry out in a day, and Grian and Joel set out for the trip. They're worried about Scar (Grian feels so, so bad about this) and propose taking him to the hospital, but Cleo gives them a look ("it's a bloody cold, Grian, he's not dying. Although he might, if you try taking him on that hellish roller-coaster with a fever") and waves them off.
Mumbo stays; he's glad to find Scar asleep when he comes to check on him.
● The entire way to the nearest village with a convenience store — the entire gloomy, bleak, mostly off-road way there — Grian contemplates on existence in general and the last several weeks of it in particular. On the concept of soulmates. On what Scar had told him. On assuring himself he's in charge of his own life, and living said life without Scar in it.
Joel curses his car on every bump and tries to pull Grian out of his thoughts. It works, for a while. But when they finally get to the store, all Grian can think about is the pack of pistachios on the shelf and every time Scar said he wanted some this month. About how Scar is wallowing in his tent right now, sick and miserable, in the middle of nowhere. How this is Grian's fault entirely, how he made this choice for both of them, and now runs like a coward.
How unimportant and not right everything seems suddenly, when Scar must be heartbroken and so lonely — bright, kind, handsome and mischievous Scar...
● Joel pays at the checkout and joins Grian at the stairs in front of the store with two cans of beer.
The moment Grian thinks he's about to be lectured, Joel is already starting his "alright, Grian, what's blummin' wrong with you, you stupid arse". So Grian grins into his can and enjoys playing dumb. Because oh, he's got no idea what Joel's talking about, who's going where? He never said he's leaving-leaving, just volunteered to help a friend with groceries, he's nice like that.
When he senses he's about to get punched, possibly in the face, Grian gets up and starts loading Joel's car with grocery bags and boxes (maybe that's what saves him from a bruise after all).
● Joel gets his first flashback when he and Grian are getting out of his jeep late in the evening, talking about families and prospects of Joel settling down and starting one with Lizzie. He's very confused, but his experience is the least traumatizing of them all :'D
● (another snippet):
And Grian stays, truly. He tries not to run from visions anymore, but searches for Scar's hand every time he feels panic crawl into his chest instead. It's not that he stops contemplating the questions of fate and free will in all of this, as much as he finds it doesn't really matter anyway.
They leave together with half of the group two weeks later, causing several surprised gasps (and a cheerful whistle from Mumbo) when kissing on the site one last time, as a goodbye to it and whatever happened there.
(And what exactly happened there? Nobody knows yet, and nobody will never know for sure. That's history for you, baby >:] )
________________
There you go! Most of this is directly from my notes, so hope it's not too chaotic and maybe even understandable :'D
Hello! Welcome to Double Hearted Volume 2. Thank you so much for all the support and patient for this part, it means the world to us.
Volume 2 is the official start of the chronological timeline for Double Hearted. Therefore, every new part will be important to understand the story.
Can't wait to continue with the comic! And I hope you all continue supporting us with this project, this wouldn't have been possible without your support!
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