The Hawthorne Whisperer

The USS Gadge and Bellarke: Nice blonde girls getting the D.

[hawthornewhisperer]

for the best (epilogue)

Draco/Hermione, rated M. 50,000 words, complete.

It was a warm autumn day, the sort that still carried the remnants of summer. Hermione lifted her face to the sunshine, letting the rays warm her skin.  Her book lay forgotten on the other side of the bench, and the orchids around them danced in the light breeze.

Draco was on his back, his head in her lap as she ran her fingers through his hair, letting the strands slip through her grip and then starting over, a rhythmic process that had them both nearly hypnotized.

She thought he had fallen asleep, but when she went to stop stroking his hair he growled in annoyance. His book lay open but abandoned on his chest.  “Don’t you dare stop, Granger,” he warned without even opening his eyes.

Read the rest on ao3.

[frightfullytreeish]

[pilferingapples]

This is not a post I ever expected to make, but at least for now, do NOT search for "Javert" on Wikimedia Commons while at work/ anywhere NSFW material might be a problem. I will not be coy: the search returns both illustrations of the character and a ton of pictures of dicks, in every mode from pornographic to medical illustrations. I assume this is going to get fixed but for now at least Wikimedia Javert is NSFW:P

[pilferingapples]

Honestly proud of everyone in the tags who went and double checked that claim. You saw a weird post on Tumblr and did not take it at face value, but double checked with the original source. That's commendable, and we need more of that attitude in society. In this case however that impulse definitely brought you a bounty of dick pics. So uh. Sorry about that, or congratulations, depending XD

[purronronner]

currently this has been hit with the bandaid measure of “‘javert’ will not appear in the search bar dropdown”

[kim-jong-chill]

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

[mattheuphonium-blog]

fabulous 

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

[counterpunches]

#HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY

[uncahier]

Tumblr needed to see this

[knitmeapony]

I'm at a diner for breakfast. There's a post-club girl here in yesterday's makeup and sweats. Her friend says "Oh my God it's the 31st." This girl lifts her head off the table and says '..... of what?'

[knitmeapony]

The friend orders her breakfast. Recovery girl just kind of stares at the menu.

Friend: ".... She'll have breakfast potatoes and wheat toast."

The waitress looks so sympathetic and brings them more water.

[knitmeapony]

I get the feeling that this is a first week of college, freshly 21 thing. They are discussing going to the Dollar Tree for painkillers and Gatorade like it's a long walk to Mordor.

I need y'all to know that the Dollar Tree is across the street.

[knitmeapony]

Recovery girl is eating potatoes with a spoon and her cheek still on the table. It is a Process. All of a sudden she sits up and declares that "Kermit needs new water."

It's unclear who that is, but her friend is very patiently convincing her that Kermit can get new water after Recovery Girl finishes *her* water.

While I was typing this it became somewhat clear that Kermit is a fish? Or some other aquatic pet.

[knitmeapony]

As I'm heading out, Recovery Girl is convincing her friend that she can "definitely handle a cheeseburger."

May we all have a friend like hers, steadfastly reminding us "you're a vegetarian, babe" in our darkest hours.

[emziess]

David Corenswet as Clark Kent Superman (2025) dir. James Gunn

[richardcypher]

some iconic shots from LEGEND OF THE SEEKER (2008-2010)

[larkandkatydid]

Photos: Minneapolis Neighborhoods vs. ICE

In recent days, federal immigration agents continued enforcement actions in Minneapolis and St. Paul, while state officials fight the Trump

Sharing this photo collection from the Atlantic primarily to celebrate the incredible courage of the people of Minneapolis in the face of truly unprecedented state terror.

They are doing this for all of us. This cannot be stressed enough! They went after Somali immigrants in Minneapolis because they were confident that it would be easier than targeting Yemeni New Yorkers or Colombian Las Angelenos. What will stop them from occupying other cities and terrorizing other communities is that they will (again) break upon the resolute courage of the people of Minnesota.

[egberts]

looks like october is…. octover

[laurassecretlife]

i’m queueing this for next year

[finchjpeg]

Its nowvember

[homunculus-argument]

Being on reddit is like owning a cabinet with an infinite number of drawers, and each drawer is full of tiny goblins, and each goblin is full of infinite opinions. While the goblins can migrate from one drawer to another, each drawer is dedicated to a specific subject that they all have opinions about. The more ordinary the subject of a drawer seems, the more sharp, rigid, or insane the opinions in there are. But sometimes, when you are stumped by an oddly specific everyday problem, you may need to venture to the cabinet for advice.

You need to ask a question about peeling an apple, so you go to the apple subreddit. Your post is automatically deleted for asking about peelers, you should have known that the place to ask that question is at the peeler community. So you go to the apple peeler drawer and ask the goblins a question, and your post is automatically deleted for being a stupid question with an obvious answer. You should have read the FAQ, where it is clearly stated that the type of a peeler that you wanted to use is the worst peeler in the universe and if you own one, obviously you should simply kill yourself. You are now banned from opening either of these drawers.

It's best to not go to the goblin cabinet.

[ex-libris-craux]

this is why i love tumblr

no cabinet, no drawers, no containment; simply stand in the middle of your kitchen and shout your question into thin air and goblins will appear to provide a considerable amount of advice about peelers, their history, how to hold them; the best things NOT to use your peeler on; what you can use besides apples for the thing you are making; how one goblin's grandmother once won an apple peeling contest using only sandpaper and her teeth; a terrifyingly comprehensive breakdown of the nutritional content of the apples, your peeler, the table and goblin grandma; how to build an excellent bonfire for cooking the thing you are making (or just making s'mores if you've given up by this point); someone's dissertation on the colonialist/imperialist roots of johnny appleseed; how close the apples are to going extinct; how you can make wine from those same apples; at least three gifsets of dogs, cats, raccoons, possums, and small children eating those apples; seven polls regarding the best type of apple, the best thing to make from them, and the ingredient proportions to make proper apple pie; someone cancelling you for making pie when there are perfectly good cookies in the world; a stucky drabble involving applesauce; and twenty-three people in the tags asking for your recipe

some of the advice will even be good

your pie will turn out delicious but only if you liveblog its creation

[heterocosmica]

If you currently know any kids ages 6-10 well enough to have this information: what are their favourite chapter books?

Last school year we read way too fast in class so I'm basically looking for more ideas. Books, from least liked (though still liked a lot) to most liked: Press Start series (Supper Rabbit Boy), Captain Underpants series, Dogman series, Junie B Jones series, Eerie Elementary series, The Underdogs, The Wild Robot series, A Pug's Diary series (the biggest hit, like you would not believe, if you can give me something with the same vibe and look I will kiss you gently on the head)

*we also read the Enola Holmes comics which were quite a bit more difficult but were also loved (we also watched the first movie on the last day but that wasn't as big of a hit)

[hawthornewhisperer]

My kid is a rising first grader so some of these might be pitched slightly young in terms of topics for the 10 year olds, but she's a voracious reader, so:

-Phoebe and her Unicorn series (she got one out of the library, and then went back for like, 5 more)

-Dory Fantasmagory (she has read these half a dozen times since she got them in early spring, she thinks they're *hilarious*)

-Bad Kitty series (also hysterical, if her giggles are anything to go by)

[marikastarkwalker]

I've not seen such a sl*tty Clark with his Lois since Smallville.

[echoesofsaturn]

"slut era" i say as i rot and decay in my bedroom and watch the years pass me by as i miss out on core experiences other people my age are having while i think about the past

[starwarsfilms]

DIEGO LUNA & GENEVIEVE O'REILLY ANDOR | S02E09 “Welcome to the Rebellion”

[hawthornewhisperer]

here's to the night (we felt alive)

Mulder/Scully, rated E. 3,700 words.

Fox laid on the bed, feeling—something. He couldn’t quite define it. He was fidgety and overly warm, even though he had turned the shitty motel air conditioning on as high as he could crank it. There was a veritable blizzard both outside and pouring out of the noisy machine under the windows, but he was still stripped down to his undershirt. If the windows had been able to open, he would have had them thrown wide, snow be damned. He tried closing his eyes but was immediately back up, pacing uncomfortably around the room. Fox kept having—urges. Thoughts. About things (and people. Okay, maybe just one person) he definitely, definitely shouldn’t be thinking about. (Or: Mulder and Scully get exposed to a massive dose of pheromones and have to fuck.)

Read it here.

[hawthornewhisperer]

here's to the night (we felt alive)

Mulder/Scully, rated E. 3,700 words.

Fox laid on the bed, feeling—something. He couldn’t quite define it. He was fidgety and overly warm, even though he had turned the shitty motel air conditioning on as high as he could crank it. There was a veritable blizzard both outside and pouring out of the noisy machine under the windows, but he was still stripped down to his undershirt. If the windows had been able to open, he would have had them thrown wide, snow be damned. He tried closing his eyes but was immediately back up, pacing uncomfortably around the room. Fox kept having—urges. Thoughts. About things (and people. Okay, maybe just one person) he definitely, definitely shouldn’t be thinking about. (Or: Mulder and Scully get exposed to a massive dose of pheromones and have to fuck.)

Read it here.