Youāre More Than a Lover; There Could Never Be Another
Gabriel groaned loudly before closing his laptop as slow as he could, the plastic hinges giving a little creak, resisting the urge to slam the bugger. Another fucking rejection. He supposed he should be used to it by now, he really should be, but each time he got the email that began āMr Gabriel Novak, we have read and reviewed your applicationā his hopes were high it would continue as āand we were delighted to inform you that-ā but of course, it never did.Ā
Ā He stared at the matte black of his laptop before standing up sharply enough that the chair fell over and he swung a fist, unclenching at the last second to simply smack his palm against the wall. Fuck this. He heard the door open and he sighed. Sam was home. Sam being home was a good thing, but he didnāt want Sam to see him with tears in his eyes and a stinging red palm because he didnāt get accepted into yet another piece.
Ā āGabe? ām home⦠everything okay?ā Caught.
Ā āI- got rejected again. Fucking again Sam this is the 5th one this month and itās only the 14th-ā Realisation dawned on him and his jaw dropped open. It was the 14th. Valentine's Day. Shit. āHey, itās the 14th!ā his face up brightened instantly. Valentineās Day with Sam.
Sam chuckled, moving over to him and wrapping an arm around his waist, pulling him away from the wall and into the middle of the kitchen, sweeping them both into a slow and delicate spin. Gabriel laughed and placed a hand on the centre of Samās chest, right over his heart as the taller man dipped him gracefully, Gabrielās head tipped back by instinct. Sam placed a quick kiss to his exposed throat before pulling him up, twirling them round again to invisible music, hips swaying.
Ā āForget them. Forget about all that, just for now?ā Samās voice was soft, and Gabriel tipped his face up a little to look at his boyfriend and he nodded a little. āDance with me?ā Gabriel huffed a laugh, nodding, prying himself out of Samās arms long enough to press play on his iPod in the dock, listening to the first few chords of a song strum out on a guitar. When he turned back to Sam, Sam bowed at him, reaching out a hand for Gabriel who took his hand and let himself be pulled back in close.
I never had no one I could count on
Iāve been let down so many times
I was tired of searchinā
ātil you walked into my life
That was how heād met Sam - Sam had literally just walked into his life. Heād been doing a pantomime at the local theatre, standing on the stage rehearsing his lines and waiting for the āheroā of the play to arrive when lo and behold Sam entered stage left, sword in hand and crowd lopsided on his head. Gabriel could tell by the stiffness of Samās actions and the tremor in his voice that he wasnāt an actor, and after they were done heād spoken to āHero Boyā as Gabriel had referred to him. Hero Boy had a name - Sam - and was actually doing Law at the university nearby, he was only doing the pantomime because it was something different. So Gabriel had given him his number, and told him to give him a call so they could run lines and Gabriel would give him tips on loosening up. Line running turned into dates once the play was finished, and that was five years ago now.
One of the first times Sam had come back to Gabrielās apartment, heād gotten a call from his older brother, drunk and shouting down the phone about Gabriel leaving, leaving them, running away from them all once Lucifer had gone. All heād been able to do was shrink under the tinny words Michael was uttering. Sam had just taken the phone and hung up, before pulling Gabriel into a hug, holding him against his chest and stroking his back. He realised then he didnāt need to hide anything from Sam. Didnāt need to hide the destructiveness of his family, the loud phone calls that would come nearly weekly and all the times heād just hidden from them. He hadnāt had to be alone.
Youāre more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
The first time theyād said I love you wasnāt spectacular or special, there hadnāt been any build-up or great reveal. Theyād been sat in the park during the firework display in the summer, Gabriel sat between Samās legs, chests pressed together. Gabrielās arm were wrapped loosely around Samās neck as they watched the sky become painted in coloured sparks. As it came to a close theyād both let their heads fall again, noses bumping and foreheads coming to rest together.
Ā āYou know I love you right?ā Gabriel had mumbled, tucking his hands into the cuffs of his hoodie, wiggling a little closer to Sam and giving him a gentle kiss.
Ā āMmm. And you know I love you too right?ā Gabriel nodded in agreement, smiling as Sam returned the kiss. Theyād sat there for a little while longer, eyes closed, simply being close and basking in the fact they both knew the other loved them.
And oh we just get closer
Sam spun them round again, pressing a kiss to Gabrielās forehead as he did, both hands resting on Gabrielās hips as they turned to the country-pop song. Gabriel looked up at Sam and smiled, looking at the way Samās hair curled a little above his shirt collar, and the way his eyes glittered as he smiled. And he felt what the song sung, he felt his heart swell and dance, the slight twist of shyness every time he looked at Sam . He did fall in love everytime he looked at Sam no matter what was happening. Sam could be asleep at 2am, Gabriel awoken by bad dreams or a cramp in his legs, or curled up napping on the sofa after a long day. Sometimes itās when Samās cooking and heās popped around the doorway to ask Gabriel to set the table, and sometimes itās when heās just gotten out the shower and all heās wearing is a towel. But no matter what time it is, every time he looks at Sam the love resonates in him, and he wouldnāt trade the feeling for anything else in the world.
And I donāt know where Iād be
Life with you makes perfect sense
Gabriel laughed loudly as Sam spun him a little harder as they stepped backwards, Samās knees hitting the sofa and he dropped, bringing Gabriel down with him, arms around him, pulling him down onto his lap with his arms still wrapped tightly around Gabrielās waist.
Ā āOops.ā Sam whispered, giving his partner a short kiss, one that Gabriel returned before it ended. He realised then how much happier he felt that he had done less than three minutes ago, and it was all because of Sam. He could fail another five, ten, twenty auditions into plays if he had too, but as long as he still had Sam coming home to him and dancing with him around the kitchen, talking to him in that soothing and gentle voice, holding him with those arms, he was okay. Sure life would get hectic and painful and itād take him to his knees, take him down into places so dark he didnāt envision himself getting back up, but in the end he knew he could do, because Sam would hold out a hand and tell him to take hold. Sam would hit pause on the rush-around and sweep him up, calm him down, stop the headaches and bring him down to Earth again.
Youāre my best friend oh yeah
Gabriel has never thought about it that way. Though, now he did, he realised how true it was. Sure they kissed and they fucked, but at the end of the day Sam was still his best friend. Theyād still just mess around, watch movies, steal popcorn from one another. They sung into hairbrushes at the top of their lungs, cheeks pressed together. They pranked one another, Sam waiting for Gabriel to not be paying attention before pressing play on a song on his phone, the G note ringing out clear in the silence of their apartment and watching his sandy haired boyfriend leap to attention, hand over his heart as he screamed the words WHEN I WAS, Sam unable to stop himself for joining in.
Youāre right there to save me
You make me see how much I have
Like that time he was Romeo. Heād stayed awake for hours on end, way more hours than he ever should stay awake again, learning lines, running lines, drinking way too much coffee. He only realised there was a problem when Sam spoke to him and he responded in a quote from the play without even thinking. Sam hadnāt minded though, heād just gathered Gabriel up, taken the dog eared script from him and sat on the sofa with him against his chest, a blanket over them both.
Ā āSleep, angel.ā heād whispered, and Gabriel had done. Sam never stopped finding the fact heād done the whole of Romeoās monologue in his sleep adorable.
And I still tremble when we touch
And oh the look in your eyes when we make love
Samās hand came up and he brushed Gabrielās hair from his face softly, leaning in to give him another slow kiss, both of them panting just a little from the dance despite the slowness. Gabriel kissed him back warmly, arms wrapped around Samās neck, and he kissed back.
Ā āI love you.ā he mumbled, words half-muffled against the kiss, not that he minded. Sam had heard the words so many times before, and heād said them even more times. He felt Sam say it back before Sam fell back, laying down with Gabriel on top, slipping between Samās thighs s they were as close as they could get.
Youāre more than a lover
There could never be another
Sam pushed their foreheads together, noses rubbing softly and somehow this gesture was more intimate than anything else theyād ever done, more intimate than the sex theyād had or the times theyād just laid naked in bed under the covers side by side. It made Gabriel giggle softly and he flushed pink at the sound, pressing his nose to Samās cheek as they kissed again.
To make me feel the way you do
And oh we just get closer
Ā āMarry me.ā Sam whispered, hands carding slowly through Gabrielās hair, pushing it away from his face as he did. They made eye contact, Samās hands coming out of his hair to run over his jaw, then his cheeks.
Ā āOf course Samshine.ā and they kissed again, gently, nothing different to the one theyād shared mere moment before, although Gabriel did have to hold back a delighted laugh at the fact Sam had asked. It was nothing spectacular, nothing over the top and fancy.
It was perfect. It was easy. It was them.