NO PORN HERE...

It's a whore not life for me

[nottootypical]

Birb for President 2k16

[jonesandbennett]

Why are colds like

One Nostril: I’m cool

Other Nostril: They have taken the bridge and the second hall. We have barred the gates but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes, drums… drums in the deep. We cannot get out. A shadow lurks in the dark. We can not get out… they are coming.

[ungezieferwerden]

[coupscoffee-deactivated20160819]

*gets hit by a car*

Passerby: “ARE YOU OKAY?”

Me: “Please… I need my… phone”

*opens TUMBLR*

Me: “LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT”

[sidnugget]

i hope i lose 800 pounds by tomorrow morning

[cleromancy]

how often on a daily basis do you wonder if you’re One Of Those Annoying People Who Cant Take A Hint and people only respond to you bc they feel obligated

[evilrashida]

none of this would have happened on myspace

[zaynmalikismyrock]

[duragdaddy]

[straightwhiteboystexting]

[joshpeck]

[ryanreynoldssource]

[historyandmemes]

“We didn’t enslave them. We rescued them. Made them Christians. This is all fine.” 

[gelatins]

hello, is this mcdonalds? ah yes, i would like to make reservations for 2

[greggaraki]

i’d rather die than read anything longer than like two paragraphs on this site

[pomeranian2]

[d0nn0-deactivated20150125]

i wrote a song about a tortilla

[d0nn0-deactivated20150125]

actually its more of a wrap

[mockwa]

Russian roads, only 30 sec

[vonisv]

What’s with Russia and dashcams?

[thathomestar]

to have car insurance in russia, dashcams are required because russians are terrible drivers