⦻ NOAH ⦻

Noah he/him

[whoznoah]

I HATE SUBMITTING JOB APPLICATIONS HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS A NIGHTMA

[whoznoah]

Everyone better wish me good luck on my job interview tomorrow or else the boogie man is going to get you

[whoznoah]

Sometimes I feel bad about my weight, and then I remember the Ozempic warriors out there who can't lift a stack of printer paper if their life depended on it so I go smoke a joint and eat 3 more taquitos.

[whoznoah]

Gumi vocaloid save me

Save me Gumi vocaloid

[whoznoah]

My melatonin induced nightmares are full of big fish and people making fun of me. I wake up in a cold sweat every time

Why the fuck am I subconsciously scared of big fish?

[whoznoah]

I'm back from the dead, are you guys done talking about the dishes yet?

[whoznoah]

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes only to turn around and to your horror: the pot.

[whoznoah]

Beanboozled: Just made eating pussy so much more flavorful

[soul-huntress]

Toothpaste or Berry Blue? Strawberry Banana Smoothie or Dead fish?

[whoznoah]

grass

[whoznoah]

Beanboozled: Just made eating pussy so much more flavorful

[whoznoah]

I need Chili’s (yes the restaurant) inside me

[whoznoah]

I fucking love the captain crunch knock off that my mom bought but holy shit the roof of my mouth hurts someone help it’s like the skittles thing again

[whoznoah]

I’ve never played tf2 but I’m afraid it’s quite literally just Fat Princess in a different font…

[timsutton]

you put your whole pussy into those dramatic scenes in mh I can't lie

so the funny scenes were only half pussy to you??

[whoznoah]

Cereal was invented to stop boys from masterbating? Well checkmate Dr. John Kellogg, I just got done sinning and ate a whole damn bowl of cereal as a treat I hope you’re rolling in your grave.

I imagine his grave is actually just a casket full of milk and he is the cereal. Like his bones are just floating around in there and they rattle in the milk whenever there’s an earth quake.

This is what you get for making a small box of cereal half of my mother’s salary I’ll masterbate to Captain Crunch all I want.

Fucker.

[whoznoah]

When men with long hair get it cut (for no reason), an angel loses its wings. A pixie hollow fairy becomes another boring ass Tinkerer. Your favorite youtuber is caught talking to minors. Your favorite celebrity is caught talking to minors. Your favorite music artist is caught talking to— okay I’m starting to see a pattern.

Guys, please keep your long hair. If you’re thinking about getting it cut “just cuz”. Reconsider

[thememedaddy]

[whoznoah]

What if I give Mary Bennet a Baja Blast?