lovesick

[[cw ; 57 ///// gw ; 40]] i want to struggle more even if it hurts, im cold, and my hair is falling out. *back active aug 2025*

[why-am-i-notasackofbonesyet]

i got a boyfriend that's underweight and keeps bragging about it and last night he told me that maybe i shouldn't eat that one piece of toast at 11pm if I still want to fit in his t-shirts so i gave my old friend a call.

[starved-venus]

who cares if it is full of chemicals

[crimsxnn]

[why-am-i-notasackofbonesyet]

date on wednesday you know what that means

not eating anything until then ^^

[tkkatherineblog]

[why-am-i-notasackofbonesyet]

MY WATCH IS LOOSER NOW AND I HAD TO FASTEN IT BY ONE MORE THINGY

IT'S SUCH A SMALL THING BUT I'M SO HAPPY!! Love seeing my struggles awarded :) Wanted to lose down on my diet for October since my classes start and I know I'm going to be extra stressed but I don't want to regain it all.

Still going with the fast-if eat, eat under 500 cal plan because I can't exercise and that always work for me :D Off to a beautiful beach summer body!

[why-am-i-notasackofbonesyet]

decided to do a three-day long fast bcs I was at day two and still wasn't like st4rving st4rving :) not having to care about the calories that I put into meself is calming

[why-am-i-notasackofbonesyet]

fell pray to my roommates kind heart, she bought me some takeout and i felt bad for saying no, but still had a good fast, went a bit over my 500 limit with that one meal because I got carried away but it's not scary :D feeling good, no binge urges

[why-am-i-notasackofbonesyet]

on the worse side tho, it's so cold nowadays, I don't have enough goodies to be wearing everyday

[why-am-i-notasackofbonesyet]

decided to do a three-day long fast bcs I was at day two and still wasn't like st4rving st4rving :) not having to care about the calories that I put into meself is calming

[why-am-i-notasackofbonesyet]

no food september (fast/fast/500), let's start my relapse strong. im going to make myslef a pretty calendar to put my intake and im going to slowly get back into exercising again, i miss the feeling of my tired muscles.

[why-am-i-notasackofbonesyet]

so far lost 2-ish pounds, but i dont feel like it so im not too happy about it. did some light workouts but i got sick so now i can only exercise for 15 minutes because im tired and everything hurts :( but im trying out weights

kinda scared my arms would get bulky long run but still doing it to kinda tone them at least

[why-am-i-notasackofbonesyet]

no food september (fast/fast/500), let's start my relapse strong. im going to make myslef a pretty calendar to put my intake and im going to slowly get back into exercising again, i miss the feeling of my tired muscles.

[sirihowdoiheal]

Ingredients: 1 tablespoon flour 1 tablespoon sweetener 1 tablespoon water

How to: Mix the ingredients together until you get a smooth batter. Put it in the microwave for 60 seconds and enjoy! It’s nice and fluffy and warm and I just love it. You can add cinnamon, lemon, cocoa powder, really whatever you want. It’ll probably add a few calories though.

Really comforting and safe, I felt a lot better after eating it (I was having a panic attack and was about to binge).

I was going to submit this to @star-ana-low-cal-recipes but it kept failing so whoops here ya go.

DISCLAIMER:: I am not a pro ana blog, I fully support recovery. I’m just trying to make myself food to eat without feeling panicky afterwards and having the potential to hurt myself out of guilt. I know a lot of other people go through the same, so I wanted to share and help them.

[ourdreamsofskinny]

THIS IS A FUCKING LIFESAVER IT’S SO GOOD

And my sister came in while I was making one and asked for one.

I made it for her, but with real sugar, I put some sprinkles in it, and she loved it oh my god try this pleasee

[grown-ass-adult-with-an-ed]

Ok first of all hell yeah. Second, I also tried to make a garlic roll using this method and it totally worked

1tbsp flour ~2 tbsp water (until you get a batter with some chunks ) Garlic salt & any other spices you want Microwave 60 seconds Boom- 25 calorie garlic roll

[sapphictobi]

both are vegan 💕 I may try it

[why-am-i-notasackofbonesyet]

hold me to it. hold me to it even if i scream "no". even if i failed the first few times. even if it's hard. hold me to it. this time i will win.

[fragile4ngel]

115 lbs sounds like a skinny number

Unless ur 5’1 :/ then it means ur still chubby and ur BMI is still ugly

[why-am-i-notasackofbonesyet]

THIS!!!!! I HATE IT HERE

[ana-rchie]

Self-control is standing in the kitchen at 2am in front of an open refrigerator, a box with oh-so-tempting Chinese takeout leftovers already in your hands, but rather than doing the obvious, you breathe, close your eyes for a moment, put the box back down and shut the refrigerator again. You’ll have a few grapes from the bowl on the kitchen counter instead and head back to your room.

Because it wouldn’t have been worth it. Five minutes of bliss that you’d spend on shoving this food down your throat simply isn’t worth the crying, self-loathe and feeling that you’ve failed again that’d follow afterwards. 

There’s nobody else but you in the control. And I promise that once you can really say that, you’ll feel much more content inside than another binge would’ve made you feel. 

[314kcal-blog]

I’m so disgusting

I want to die. I look so disgusting and I just cant take it anymore. my body is 100% fat and it looks so awful that it makes me cry. I cant look at myself without seeing all that fat in my body. I hate myself so much, how did I let this happen. I thought it was just the puberty making me more feminine, but no. it was me, all this is my fault, I ate myself to look like this. I did this to myself. and now I have to pay for it. I really need to get rid of this shit in my body. I wish I didnt live with my parents. they dont understand that I really need to get this weight the fuck out of me. they make me eat and all that stuff and thats what I hate about them. they wont let me work to get the body I want. they dont seem to want me to be happier with myself. but cant blame them. if I wouldnt have eaten so much and let my body to get like this, I wouldnt even have any fat to get rid of. I should try harder. I should hide more food and purge more. skip more. drink more. exercise more. I cant live with myself if I look like a cow that has eaten 12 other cows, and I dont think anyone wants to even see anything as disgusting as me.

[why-am-i-notasackofbonesyet]

gotta love when you're fasting and just constantly thinking about food and looking through very low calorie """meals""" to eat after its done lmao

anyways, my safe food/craving fullfiller is a medium, peeled apple, chopped up and microwaved with cinnamon.

you can prolly add in stevia or some other sweetener, but i dont use sweetener so idc.

alternative : peel the apple and blend it in a thermomix/blender or just manually grate it and add some cinnamon = safe applesauce that you can eat on your own or put on rice cakes or those 45 cal pancakes. you can also use like 3 apples and put it in freezer-safe containers and freeze them to have it ready for next time or semi-freeze it and have yourself basically an apple ice sorbet.

but it's literally like what 100-120 calories, it's super filling and tasty and doesn't make you quilty.