[thestateonmtv]

so much of late 2000s music was like “we falling in love... in this club... we’re all family... in this club.... we’re having the time of our lives... in this club” like wtf we gotta get back to the club !!!

[pencilcomics]

What my week old spaghetti sees when I’m microwaving it at 4 am

[lexxnova]

Women cum first 2019

[1738yr]

what i look for in a guy:

nike elite socks

nike sandals

nike t-shirt that says swag don’t come cheap

a snapback that only features the miami heat 

a general overuse of the word “bruh”

[mahboi]

[phase2-moved-deactivated2021073]

Unfortunately I just have little idoiot bastard syndrome and it makes me say dumb things

[rootkit]

Burning of the Library at Alexandria vs Tumblr Purge of 2018

[thatonezombiecosplayer]

Me: *at the grocery store, heading through the bakery toward the donuts because I really shouldn’t but damn it I’m an adult and I want a goddamn donut*

Cake department:

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

it is so funny how life is just whatever. it’s hilarious. life is so regimented all the way through high school and then after that you just do literally whatever it’s all just whatever. you’re like “should i do this?” and everyone you know is like “just do whatever” absolutely incredible. that can’t be real

[paramaline]

shoutout to my coworker for thinking that “illuminati” and “alumnae” meant the same thing and absolutely destroying everyone in the room when he casually dropped the sentence “i get a discount there because i’m an illuminati” into the conversation

[getoffmybloghoe-deactivated2018]

i just want to do cool teenager stuff, like going to parties and arson 

[adult-sasuke]

that post was right i wouldn’t have a sense of humor without spongebob. its still some of the goddamn funniest shit i’ve ever seen. spongebob almost dying because he’s too polite to ask for a glass of water at sandy’s house. mr. krabs and spongebob killing the health inspector. smittywerbenjagermenjensen. “I was born with glass bones and paper skin. every morning I break my legs. and every afternoon I break my arms.” the perfume department on the flying dutchman’s boat. that time spongebob cleared his mind to be a fine dining waiter and forgot his own name because that’s how customer service just BE. the ugly barnacle that was so ugly everyone DIED. the END. the one where squidward buys a pie but it’s actually a bomb. and the MUSICAL numbers like??? the fun song. the christmas song. tony award winning song “this grill is not a grill”. the entire band geeks episode like…this is all from the top of my head!!!!! just from the top of my head!!! there’s so much more!!! thank god for stephen and all the laughs i’ve had because of him.

[4444555666777888999]

I want a time machine to take me back to Atlantic City during the prohibition era so I can suck a D*ck. I would be the baddest btch cos nobody sucked dick back then it was like some Parisian brothel shit. They would give me a Pulitzer Prize

[ketthens3-deactivated20241215]

You ever needed to peep at someone’s willy so bad you’ve ripped the stall divider off in a blood rage?

[rcktpwr]

this generation so obsessed with their phones that they dont even bother to look at each others cocks anymore well IM NOT HAVING IT

[berries]

[genuinerascal]

Every morning we hop a little fence. Esper gets all jazzed about it, like we are doing something bad, so she shoots me this look like “OHHH MAN, we gonna get in soooo much trouble.” 

[gentlealien]

the Gentle Alien is excited for Crimes

[lonequixote]

Rene Magritte

Pandora’s Box (1951)

(via @lonequixote​)