I am mourning both the loss of Liam, but also the loss of the small refuge 1D offered me, in a harsh world.
Their music, their interviews, the fic — it was a tiny utopia I could retreat to, untouched by the realities of life. In those albums, in those stories, they could just be five boys, singing, having fun, making it big, loving each other, and I could suspend the biggest truth of life for the length of a song, an album, a fic: that happiness and grief often go hand-in-hand.
Now, grief has walked into my comfort zone and touched everything. It’s tried to put things back where it found them, but it’s no use. My refuge has changed and there’s no going back.
Rest in peace, Liam. I wish you had gotten the help you needed. Thank you for holding my comfort zone together, for all these years.
