Infinity war is gonna be 5 minutes long because Loki is gonna shed one single tear and the grandmaster is gonna show up in 5.6920 seconds and melt that big purple bitch with his melting stick.
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@whydousernamesexist-blog1
Infinity war is gonna be 5 minutes long because Loki is gonna shed one single tear and the grandmaster is gonna show up in 5.6920 seconds and melt that big purple bitch with his melting stick.
this 👆🏾
Do these straight people just like
Not actually comprehend anything happening right in front of them
heteronormativity is a hell of a drug
being in a public restroom and hearing someone shitting really loud
being in a public restroom
being in a public
people adding things 2 my posts
your posts
ur blog
IM LAUGHING SO HARD. I THREW MY PHONE SO I COULD BREATHE
you thinking that comment was necessary
thinking
wen u zoom in
I love this post
love
It just keeps getting better
overused captions
Tumblr’s new layout
the internet
this is the only long ass post i’m ever going to reblog
Long ass posts
I’M CRYING
Thermodynamic Equilibrium -5-
tags: eighth year, drarry, hot/cold dynamics, cuddling
- Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 -
“No.”
“Hermione!” Harry laughed.
Hermione shook her head, “Absolutely not. I don’t- No.” She stomped ahead of them.
“It’s not that bad is it?” Ron said, trying to catch up to her, “Harry getting a better mark than us- you. It’s bound to happen one of these days right? Just odds.”
Hermione stopped in her tracks, “This is just like sixth-year potions.”
“It’s nothing like sixth-year potions,” Harry said with a sigh.
“You had help,” Hermione said, pointing an accusing finger at him.
Harry rolled his eyes, “Yeah, but not like sixth-year.” He flipped open his bag and took out the two Ms Olga’s charm books he had planned to return before dinner and held them out, “See? Just regular library books.”
Hermione snatched them out of his hands, “You used these? Why didn’t you share them?”
“I was borrowing them myself,” Harry said.
“I need to look at these,” Hermione said, already opening the first book.
“I was going to return them before dinner,” Harry protested.
Hermione nodded absently, walking into the common room as she read, “I’ll just have a look, then take them back myself.”
“Mione!” Ron groaned, “I thought we were going to have, y'know, like quality time now that the big exam’s done.”
“Heating charms!”
“Uhuh,” Hermione said absently, dropping onto a couch by the fire, “We can read it together then.”
Ron groaned, shot Harry a beleaguered look and sat on the couch next to her.
“Heating charms!” Seamus snapped from the other side of the fireplace, “Everyone’s contributing! Come on!”
Hermione took her wand out and cast a wordless heating charm over the room. Ron quickly followed suit.
Harry cast one as well, over by the fire where it wouldn’t settle on him too much. All the furniture in the room had been pushed into the tight ring around the blazing fireplace so anyone would have to step over armrests to go in or out. That didn’t stop what seemed like every eighth-year student gathering clustered together in the crowded mess. The largest sofa had been left by the window, apparently too heavy to bother moving.
Outside snow was falling in tiny crystals, sparkling when the light from inside hit them. Harry pulled the latest Quidditch Monthly out of his bag and laid back on the large couch, enjoying the cold radiated from the tall windows.
He was deep into an article about the viability of the new horseshoe feint in Quidditch matches when he heard someone stomping down the hallway from their dorms. It was a very familiar stomp. A smile crept onto Harry’s face as Draco stopped next to him.
Harry glanced over his magazine. Draco was wearing a jumper and had a blanket as well as his comforter wrapped around his shoulders but was still shivering.
For a second they just looked at one another and then Draco glowered at him. He kicked Harry’s leg out of the way so he could get on, bracing his arm on the back of the sofa and shoving Harry’s magazine out of the way so he could collapse onto Harry unimpeded.
Harry laughed in surprise, halfheartedly smacking Draco with his magazine.
Draco grumbled something into Harry’s chest, pulling his blankets over his head and wriggling around to pull his blankets tighter around himself. Harry propped his magazine on Draco’s back, absent-mindedly tangling their legs together.
“Harry?” Ron called, his voice strangled.
Harry looked over at his best friends and found the whole room leaning over the backs of their chairs to stare at him.
“I fucking told you,” Blaise hissed to Pansy.
Pansy responded with a faint whimper.
Ron’s whole face had gone so pale his freckles stood out like ink spots.
“Um, Harry?” Hermione said quietly, her voice carrying in the dead silence, “Are- Are you dating, Malfoy?”
Harry blinked, his heart rate picking up. He pulled up the edge of Draco’s blanket, “Are we dating?” he asked.
Draco huffed in annoyance, turning his head to prop his chin on Harry’s chest. His fine blond hair clung to his cheek in a loose staticy mess, and Harry found himself carefully trying to tuck it back neatly behind his ear.
Draco’s hands pressed against Harry’s chest as he leaned forward and kissed him with lips that seemed unfairly softly. He slowly pulled back, searching Harry’s expression and then smiled faintly, “I suppose we are,” he said quietly and pulled blankets back over himself.
Harry looked back over at Hermione, “Looks that way,” he said with a brilliant smile, curling an arm over Draco’s back before picking up his magazine.
-Fin-
- Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 -
Thank you for reading! This story should be posted on ao3 tues the 12th, I’ll post a link to it once it’s up.
♡ Tags below ♡
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I hope you wake up early enough to put on your favorite outfit and make your favorite breakfast. I hope you find your skin clear and hair healthy. I hope you’re content with the way your body looks. I hope you get good grade on that exam you’ve been anxious about, and that presentation you have passes smoothly. I hope you find happiness in small things today. I hope that, even with your ups and downs, you are content with yourself.
here you go guys! a Halloween special! (it would be better as a fic but i am no writer so,sorry!)
So eighth year and McGonagalls put everyone that came back to finish up their last year in the third floor corridor or in the tower under the owlery.
But that part of the castle’s been abandoned for years so the heating charms are completely naff and it’s always too cold.
One night both Draco and Harry are in the common room after insomnia, for Draco, and nightmares, for Harry, kept them from their beds. They’ve pushed a couch up next to the main fireplace but it’s still fucking freezing.
Draco cannot stop shivering and is sitting right on the edge of the couch and holding his hands out to the fire. Harry’s leaning back, just wearing an old jumper and jeans he threw on, looking completely at ease.
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Harry sat up with a start, the last swirling vestiges of his nightmare dissipating into the darkness. The loudest sound in the room was his breathing, coming out in heaving gasps. He no longer woke up screaming. He had trained himself out of it somehow, hating the worried expressions Molly would give him when he stayed the summer there, hating the awkward, helpless ‘you alright, mate?’ from Ron, hating the hugs and talks from Hermione. He screamed in his dreams and awoke with only silent gasps and the faint taste of blood from biting the inside of his cheek.
Harry pushed his blankets back and slipped out of the dorm he shared with Ron and Neville. He made his way to the common room, enjoying the feeling of the cold air on his overheated skin, cooling the sweat on his back and making him feel like he could breathe again. Ever since he had died in the last battle, he constantly felt he was overheating, like coming back from the dead had put his body into overdrive. Harry sometimes had dreams of being a phoenix and bursting into flames, heat and fire prickling under his skin, making him something new and yet old as well.
There was someone sitting by the fire in the common room, which had been stoked up high, flickering with red and orange light that didn’t seem able to pierce the cold room. He thought it was Ron or Ginny for a second but once his eyes focused Harry realized it was just the reflection of the fire off his white blond hair.
Draco had pushed one end of the sofa right in front of the fireplace and sat on the edge of the plush violet cushion with his hands so close the fire had to hurt. Yet he was still shivering. Draco stared at the fire blankly, looking through the flames without seeing them. Deep shadows of exhaustion ringed his eyes, just as they had every day since this 'eighth’ year had started.
Harry sat down on the other side of the couch.
Draco startled, jumping visibly, his hand twitching to his wand until he saw it was Harry and hesitated.
“Sorry,” Harry said softly.
Draco relaxed slightly, dropping his hand and glaring half-heartedly at Harry, “Merlin Potter, can’t you just go to sleep like a normal person?”
“I sleep,” Harry said pushing his glasses up to rub his eyes.
Draco snorted. “When?” he said acidly.
“Between nightmares,” Harry said, irritably pulling off his glasses and trying to clean the smudges that he had just made, “When do you sleep, Draco?”
Draco frowned, still put off by Harry’s use of his first name but Harry refused to go back to Malfoy or anything that had to do with their stupid childhood feud.
“Around three or four, if I’m lucky,” Draco said with surprising honesty.
Harry nodded and sighed, “Yeah.” He glanced at the fire but felt his gaze torn away by Draco staring at him. He raised his eyebrows in a silent question.
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The best praise an artist can receive is the long, impassioned sort that gets deep into exactly what the commenter liked about their work and leaves them feeling warm and giddy all over.
The second-best is this:
So eighth year and McGonagalls put everyone that came back to finish up their last year in the third floor corridor or in the tower under the owlery.
But that part of the castle’s been abandoned for years so the heating charms are completely naff and it’s always too cold.
One night both Draco and Harry are in the common room after insomnia, for Draco, and nightmares, for Harry, kept them from their beds. They’ve pushed a couch up next to the main fireplace but it’s still fucking freezing.
Draco cannot stop shivering and is sitting right on the edge of the couch and holding his hands out to the fire. Harry’s leaning back, just wearing an old jumper and jeans he threw on, looking completely at ease.
Keep reading
Harry sat up with a start, the last swirling vestiges of his nightmare dissipating into the darkness. The loudest sound in the room was his breathing, coming out in heaving gasps. He no longer woke up screaming. He had trained himself out of it somehow, hating the worried expressions Molly would give him when he stayed the summer there, hating the awkward, helpless ‘you alright, mate?’ from Ron, hating the hugs and talks from Hermione. He screamed in his dreams and awoke with only silent gasps and the faint taste of blood from biting the inside of his cheek.
Harry pushed his blankets back and slipped out of the dorm he shared with Ron and Neville. He made his way to the common room, enjoying the feeling of the cold air on his overheated skin, cooling the sweat on his back and making him feel like he could breathe again. Ever since he had died in the last battle, he constantly felt he was overheating, like coming back from the dead had put his body into overdrive. Harry sometimes had dreams of being a phoenix and bursting into flames, heat and fire prickling under his skin, making him something new and yet old as well.
There was someone sitting by the fire in the common room, which had been stoked up high, flickering with red and orange light that didn’t seem able to pierce the cold room. He thought it was Ron or Ginny for a second but once his eyes focused Harry realized it was just the reflection of the fire off his white blond hair.
Draco had pushed one end of the sofa right in front of the fireplace and sat on the edge of the plush violet cushion with his hands so close the fire had to hurt. Yet he was still shivering. Draco stared at the fire blankly, looking through the flames without seeing them. Deep shadows of exhaustion ringed his eyes, just as they had every day since this 'eighth’ year had started.
Harry sat down on the other side of the couch.
Draco startled, jumping visibly, his hand twitching to his wand until he saw it was Harry and hesitated.
“Sorry,” Harry said softly.
Draco relaxed slightly, dropping his hand and glaring half-heartedly at Harry, “Merlin Potter, can’t you just go to sleep like a normal person?”
“I sleep,” Harry said pushing his glasses up to rub his eyes.
Draco snorted. “When?” he said acidly.
“Between nightmares,” Harry said, irritably pulling off his glasses and trying to clean the smudges that he had just made, “When do you sleep, Draco?”
Draco frowned, still put off by Harry’s use of his first name but Harry refused to go back to Malfoy or anything that had to do with their stupid childhood feud.
“Around three or four, if I’m lucky,” Draco said with surprising honesty.
Harry nodded and sighed, “Yeah.” He glanced at the fire but felt his gaze torn away by Draco staring at him. He raised his eyebrows in a silent question.
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The best praise an artist can receive is the long, impassioned sort that gets deep into exactly what the commenter liked about their work and leaves them feeling warm and giddy all over.
The second-best is this:
even with those four numbers there are countless possible combinations good luck with figuring out which one is the right one you punk
*straightens calculator*
It’s pretty likely that it’s a four digit number, and as there are four digits chosen there, that means that there cannot be any repetition. This mean that there are:
n!/(n-4)! possible orders. As ‘n’ is 4 (number of digits available). 4!/0! which becomes 4x3x2x1/1 which simplifies to 24. That means that there are 24 possible combinations of codes. This would take you about two or three minutes to input all possible codes.
Unless an alarm goes off if you don’t get it right in 3 tries
*straightens calculator again*
Kick the fucking door in
well ‘technically’ the code is most likley 1970. statistically, a majority of people, when told to choose a 4 digit code will choose their birth year. and this key pad is obviously a few years old to put it nicely, thats most likley it.
some sherlock holmes shit just went down over here
No, no, no. Don’t base your deductions of psychology. Let’s talk chemistry. When you first press a button, there’s more of the natural oils on your skin, and therefore it wears down the numbers on the keys faster. Obviously 0 is the first one, then. Try 0791 first.
Sherlock out.
it got better
and this is why the sherlock fandom could either rule the world or end it….
Close, but not quite, I think. People will almost always choose a number they can remember. What’s memorable about 0791? Try 0719 - a birthday, 19th of July. That is more likely.
Those deductions are great and all, but unnecessary.
The light is green.
The door is already open.
And that’s why we have a John Watson.
This is “top 10 favorite posts” level.
Omg, it’s actually on my dash! This post is like a fossil!
even with those four numbers there are countless possible combinations good luck with figuring out which one is the right one you punk
*straightens calculator*
It’s pretty likely that it’s a four digit number, and as there are four digits chosen there, that means that there cannot be any repetition. This mean that there are:
n!/(n-4)! possible orders. As ‘n’ is 4 (number of digits available). 4!/0! which becomes 4x3x2x1/1 which simplifies to 24. That means that there are 24 possible combinations of codes. This would take you about two or three minutes to input all possible codes.
Unless an alarm goes off if you don’t get it right in 3 tries
*straightens calculator again*
Kick the fucking door in
well ‘technically’ the code is most likley 1970. statistically, a majority of people, when told to choose a 4 digit code will choose their birth year. and this key pad is obviously a few years old to put it nicely, thats most likley it.
some sherlock holmes shit just went down over here
No, no, no. Don’t base your deductions of psychology. Let’s talk chemistry. When you first press a button, there’s more of the natural oils on your skin, and therefore it wears down the numbers on the keys faster. Obviously 0 is the first one, then. Try 0791 first.
Sherlock out.
it got better
and this is why the sherlock fandom could either rule the world or end it….
Close, but not quite, I think. People will almost always choose a number they can remember. What’s memorable about 0791? Try 0719 - a birthday, 19th of July. That is more likely.
Those deductions are great and all, but unnecessary.
The light is green.
The door is already open.
And that’s why we have a John Watson.
This is “top 10 favorite posts” level.
Omg, it’s actually on my dash! This post is like a fossil!
background: it was exam period, my mum told me to go clean my room, i didnt want to (partly cos i didnt want to) because I had alot of shit to memorise for my history paper. mum asks why im studying so much (as if she hasnt always told me studying is important). i said it was because i didnt want to fail my paper like last year MUM: dont use that excuse. u didnt fail cos u cleaned your room and didnt have time to study, u failed because u were stupid and lazy ME: *starts crying and goes to my room* -the next day- MUM: so why were u crying yesterday ME: because u said i failed cos i was stupid MUM: i did not say u were stupid u heard wrongly ME: no i didnt thats what u said MUM: no i didnt -------------------------------------------------------------------------- PARENTS!!! DO NOT INSULT YOUR CHILDREN!!!!! IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY SAID IT IN THE HEAT IF THE MOMENT, APOLOGISE!! My mum constantly calls my sis fat and lazy, is biased towards me ie lets me wear crop tops and shorts out but not my sister mind you where i live 27°C (80°F) is the cool and its usually 34°C (93.2°F) in the afternoon. She never admits when she's wrong. if i lose things she says she not buying me shit again cos i always lose it and im not mindful when she literally spent a few weeks emphasising that i lost my jacket when it was under a pile of dirty clothes she was washing and did not apologise after Honestly, apologising to your child will not affect you but it sure as hell might affect them so dont go around demanding their respect when you wont even respect them
Tumblr: #this fucking donut #can we talk about this fucking donut for a minute #can we #because on this donut #the sprinkles just comfortably melt into the icing #you can tell that they are so perfectly in tune with each other #and they’ve come so far from when the sprinkles just sort of sat on top #barely touching for fear of rejection #just ugh I can’t #otp: comfortably melting
4chan: here’s a picture of someone putting their dick in a donut.
reddit: that donut needs to go back into the kitchen and make me a sandwich.
academia.edu: Here is a pdf of the seminar paper I wrote about the erotics/poetics/semiotics/science of donut eating.
deviantArt:I did not steal this donut. I traced it so now it’s mine.
It got better
Fanfic.net: The donut is the setting for a high school AU, were two sprinkles meet and realise they have more in common than they ever thought possible, however, the mean chocolate sauce has caught wind of their secret relationship. Will they be able to make it together before it’s too late? M for a lemon flavoured donut.
This has officially become one of my favorite posts.
I JUST REBLOGGED BUT FANFIC MADE IT PERFECT
Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with: The Internet.
archiveofourown.org: Graphic Depictions of Gluten, doughut/sprinkles, doughnut/glaze, doughnut/sprinkles/glaze, doughnut - character, sprinkles - character, glaze - character, dsg threesome, first time, morning doughnuts, AU - doughnutverse, omg i don’t even know, knotting
#THE KNOTTING AT THE END OF THE AO3 IS THE MOST ACCURATE THING IVE SEEN IN MY LIFE
Thor : Ragnarok
I cannot be the only one that thought that when Thor sat on his throne, Loki should have just sauntered right over and sat on his lap claiming his rightful place as queen
ARE YOU STILL SCREAMING ABOUT THOR: RAGNAROK? BECAUSE I’M STILL SCREAMING ABOUT IT. I need so much slice-of-life on the ship fic, I need so much kissing-and-more resolution to the hug scene, I need so much speculation on what happens when they get to where they’re going, I need so much about the various friendships forming, I need so much fic about a whole bunch of people crammed into a relatively small ship for months and the hilarious and awful things that happen because of it. AND FANDOM IS DEFINITELY ON A ROLL WITH IT, THERE’S MORE GREAT STUFF. (Part one is here!) THOR: RAGNAROK FIC RECS: ✦ The Breath Between Regrets by Vera (Vera_DragonMuse), thor/loki & valkyrie & heimdall & hulk & korg, ragnarok spoilers, 9.5k The journey to Midgard should take a year and a day. Long enough for many things. ✦ What the Thunder Said by kyrilu, thor/loki, ragnarok spoilers, ~1k Days after the battle, Thor’s skin is still sparking lightning. ✦ the silver forked sky by powerfulsound, thor/loki, ragnarok spoilers, nsfw, 1.2k There is a storm, sparking under Thor’s skin. Attracted to it, a magpie to shiny things, Loki is helpless in Thor’s wake. ✦ Reunion by riventhorn, thor/loki, nsfw, ragnarok spoilers, 1.3k After so long apart, Loki can’t help being drawn to Thor. ✦ Privilege to love by will_thewisp, thor/loki, NSFW, ragnarok spoilers, 2.6k He didn’t know why Loki felt the need to fight him on every ground, to hide things that had no business being hidden, but he was determined to meet him on every occasion. To Thor it seemed that Loki fought with himself as much as with Thor. ✦ followed you down by homovikings, thor/loki & heimdall & valkyrie & tony & sif & cast, ragnarok spoilers, 5.3k It’s Asgard but it isn’t. ✦ drowning on your shore by psikeval, thor/loki, ragnarok spoilers, 1.3k Loki, entirely solid, does not flicker and does not flinch. ✦ In my Arms by wetdandelions, thor/loki, NSFW, ragnarok spoilers, 1.2k “I’m here,” says Loki. Set after the end of Thor: Ragnarok. PWP. SPOILERS. ✦ In the Flesh by hjbender, thor/loki, NSFW, ragnarok spoilers, intersex!loki, 6.3k Loki stares back, gives the stopper a gentle toss. It sparkles briefly in the air before he catches it again. “There isn’t anything else you’d like to give me? Nothing you’d like to say? Because”—he spreads his arms and smiles invitingly, both hands suddenly empty—“here I am.” ✦ Nowhere Is Home Unless We’re Both In the Same Place by Velocity_Owl87, thor/loki, ragnarok spoilers, 1.3k After the dust has settled, Thor realizes the implications of Kingship and Asgard’s future mean for him as the new King of Asgard. Thankfully, he doesn’t have to grapple with the situation alone, at least. ✦ Heroes Run Towards Their Problems by Naiveandoptimistic, thor & loki & valkyrie & hulk & korg & cast, ragnarok spoilers, 1.6k Post-Ragnarok. Valkyrie is a drunken hot mess. Loki conceals, Hulk worries, and Thor gives some wisdom. ✦ Not an Illusion by janto321 (FaceofMer), thor/loki, NSFW, ragnarok spoilers, ~1k Loki and Thor find comfort in one another ✦ black sheep and mischief by grim_lupine, thor & loki, ragnarok spoilers, 3.2k A bird alights on Thor’s shoulder and pecks his cheek twice, hard enough to make him wince. “What are you doing?” it warbles in his ear. “Wondering what my brother is doing up at this hour, little bird,” Thor replies. “Will you go ask him for me?” ✦ Never Doubt That I Love You by ValkyrieShepard, thor/loki & heimdall & valkyrie & hulk & cast, NSFW, ragnarok spoilers, 10.6k After Thor’s proposal, Loki pulls away. As Thor is busy trying to rule his people, Loki finds him again, and the two of them scout a possible planet for their people where Thor tries to get through his brother’s walls. There is much Loki has to work through. ✦ after you, i dont know what i believe in by CallicoKitten, thor/loki & valkyrie & bruce & heimdall & cast, ragnarok spoilers, 9.6k aka, the long road to midgard ✦ Crossroads by kyrilu, loki & heimdall, ragnarok spoilers, ~1k As Loki leaves Sakaar with a shipload of former prisoners, Heimdall decides to ‘visit.’ ✦ victory runes by spookykingdomstarlight, thor/loki, ragnarok spoilers, 3.3k A snake couldn’t change its colors, try as he might, trust his own intentions as he wanted to. At this moment, legs braced on either side of Thor’s lap, he couldn’t imagine doing anything to undermine Thor’s rule, his wants, his needs. But tomorrow was another day and Loki’s whims were mercurial. full details + recs under the cut!
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