Literally cannot emphasize enough that my #1 writing advice is to stop being afraid. Stop being afraid of sounding too cringe, or too stupid, or too horrifying, or too horny, or too weird, or too much, or too little, or too you. You need to put your entire pussy into your art. Sure, it won't be to everyone's tastes, but if you keep yourself to the blandest tamest safest roads possible you will be of no one's tastes, not even yours.
So I'm a bit petrified posting this - I haven't written fan fiction in well over a decade. But it's like riding a bike, right?
I'm working on this for Elucien week - here's a little sneak peek.
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The first time it happened was by accident.
His scent filled the air all at once, causing Elainโs brain to short circuit, the intrinsically visceral voice inside her whispering โmine, mine, mineโ. It was all consuming, her breath catching in her throat as she rounded the corner of the townhouse hallway from the kitchen and nearly collided with him.
Her mate.
She couldnโt stop the small gasp that left her lips, her fingers immediately pressing against that point in her ribs, the one that pulled ever so slightly, reminding her that she was tethered. To him. To this place, and this life and everything she lost.
She had to close her eyes to steady her breathing, blocking out the chanting in her head.
His sharp inhalation let her know that he too was feeling the pull, wasnโt expecting to run into her. It was then she noticed that his fingers had grazed her arms at the impact, steadying her. She opened her eyes finally, meeting his.
He let go as if he had been burnt.
โI โ โ he paused, his one russet eye watching her, wide with something Elain couldnโt quite place. He seemed to shake it off and took a step back. Close. They were too close. โIโm meeting Feyre.โ
She nodded, taking a step closer to the wall to put more space between them, going against every instinct that roared at her to launch at him, touch him, taste him. She swallowed thickly, looking away and let out a shuddering breath. She couldnโt speak. If she did, she wasnโt sure the leash she had on herself would hold, this entire grasp she had on herself, stopping her from doing something so uncharacteristic it scared her. These feelings, this male โ it was all so inherently unnatural and terrifying.
โI-Iโm sorry.โ
His words sounded so quiet, so small, she finally looked up at him. He was breathtaking. It caused her heart to ache painfully, at the life she had lost, at the beauty surrounding her that she couldnโt take in. This man โ this male โtook the breath from her lungs, and she resented him for it. Was it truly her own desire, her own thoughts and needs and wants, or was it this gold thread tying them together, forcing these feelings down the bond?
โWhat are you sorry for?โ When she finally spoke the words, her voice didnโt sound like her own. She looked up at him, scanning his face and seeing utter devastation across his features.
She didnโt move as he took a step towards her, not quite close enough to touch. But enough. The thread pulled and her eyes fluttered shut for a moment.
โI feel it too.โ
The words physically hurt. He said them quietly, breathless, the bond glowing. This wasnโt real. Any of it. This was a cruel joke, intending to make her suffer. Nothing they felt was real, just a constant reminder of this thread, shackling them for life. A life longer than Elain could even imagine, and she was exhausted by it.
โI have to go,โ she whispered, forcing her body into motion, dragging it limb by limb away from the male it craved the most. Distance. She needed distance. It was the only thing that could keep her from crumbling.
Her back was to him, her hand on the railing as she moved to walk up the stairs when he spoke again.
โI didnโt ask for this either.โ
She turned back around on the second step, but he had vanished. His scent washed over her in waves in his wake, the bond in her chest a dull ache.
Summary: Lucien spends the day with Eris (short one-shot).
Note: Thank you to everyone who shared plot ideas! Huge thank you to @acourtofladydeath for sending a whole list about a month ago :) I am back in my Eris era <3
Eris had always loved the forest.ย
The trees grew tall in Autumn, little sky to be seen. Leaves fell to the ground on crisp winds and everything was constantly in motion, a comfort, like a boat rocking on gentle waves.ย
As a child, Eris would spend hours on his own, preferring solitude to the company of others. The woods has been his safe haven, a place he could exist where the weight of his title as the High Lordโs heir lost some of its significance.ย
Whenever Eris needed a break from his father, he would go to his home in the eastern territories. The forest was older, the rivers lovelier. If he could have spent his whole life there, Eris would have done so. His whirling thoughts always fell silent, and he felt the most at peace.
โDid you see me, Eris?โ His youngest brother called, his laughter ringing, shattering the quiet.
โMhm,โ Eris hummed, not looking up from his book. Using the forest floor as a table, he scribbled a note in the chapter's margins. โNicely done, Lucien.โ
A moment passed before Lucien spoke again. โYou werenโt even looking,โ he accused, frustration clear in his voice.ย
Eris briefly looked up from the page he was reading, leaning more comfortably against the tree he was sitting under. Lucien had his boots thrown off along the riverbank. His pants were rolled up terribly as he stood knee deep in the water, the fabric soaked through. โI was,โ Eris lied. In truth, he did not have the slightest clue of what Lucien had been trying to show him, but he decided it was best not to further hurt his feelings.ย
For a child not yet a decade old, he certainly had an attitude, Eris thought. Lucien crossed his arms, brows raised in a way that suggested he doubted his eldest brother. Eris flashed him a small smile, hoping he would simply let it go.ย
Lucien threw his hands up in the air, defeated and dramatic. โCan I go deeper?โ He asked.
โDonโt drown,โ Eris replied, turning his attention to the book still in his hands.ย ย
Eris read more, taking in the information and jotting notes so he could remember his ideas for later. After going through a few more pages, he paused, his stillness predatory when he noticed it was unnervingly silent.ย
Eris looked up to see that his brother was no longer in front of him.โLucien?โ He called out, waiting. When there was no response, he repeated himself, tossing his book carelessly to the ground as he stood.ย
Eris quickly jogged to the riverโs edge, looking downstream. The water shimmered in the light filtering in through the leaves, flowing lazily. His mother would kill him, Eris thought, her favourite son dead, and not even at the High Lordโs hands. And Eris would never be able to forgive himself, not if something had happened to little Lucien.
Panic choked Eris as he stepped into the river, trying to reassure himself with the knowledge that nothing dangerous lived within the shallow waters.ย
โWhat are you doing?โ Lucien said, appearing next to Eris in a burst of golden light. His eyes shone brightly, lovely and foreign to Autumn.ย ย
A death sentence.
Eris fell to his knees, the water cold as he reached for Lucien, pulled him close. He had never particularly liked affection as a child, and he liked it even less as a grown male, but he could not help holding Lucien to him in relief.
Like Lucien had done countless times, he put his arms around his older brotherโs neck. โWhatโs wrong?โ He asked, genuinely caring, able to read the emotions of those around him easily.
โNothing,โ Eris replied, large hand cupping the back of Lucienโs head.ย
โDid you see me this time?โ Lucien said innocently, unaware of the genuine worry he had caused, pulling away to look up at Eris with wide eyes.ย
He nodded, โYes.โ Lucien smiled, dimples showing. โYes, I saw, Iโm very impressed.โย
Lucien shrugged, pretending it was nothing, but Eris saw through the act. There was pride in the way he held back his small shoulders, confidence at the rare words of approval. โAll of you can winnow.โย
Eris knew he was referring to their brothers, but he also knew that they happened to be children of a High Lord. Whoever Lucienโs father might be, he was clearly a powerful male, Eris thought. โLucien, you must keep it a secret,โ he warned, voice serious. โShow no one else, you understand?โย
Lucien looked confused, frowning as he searched Erisโs face for any signs of deception. He looked ready to argue, a stubborn tilt to his mouth.ย
โI mean it, Lucien, just for a little while,โ Eris tried to have some empathy leak into his tone.ย
Lucien must have seen something in Erisโs gaze that convinced him not to say anything more on the subject. โAlright,โ he promised, russet eyes glowing gold as he hugged his older brother again, resting his chin on Erisโ shoulder.ย
The riverโs shallow waters continued to flow around them, and Eris held Lucien tightly.
It's still Elucien hours around here, and I've settled on Karma Is My Boyfriend as a title for this one <3
He sketched a bow. "Lucien Vanserra, at your service."
"The only service I require at the moment is someone to water my pothos," Elain said with a meaningful nod towards a watering can and row of plants towards the back of the room.
To her surprise, Lucien began filling the watering can without a single complaint. For a moment, Elain watched, telling herself it was to make sure he was doing it correctlyโand not at all because he was absurdly beautiful.
There was still work to finish, so Elain forced herself to turn her attention back to organizing the cards with care instructions that her shop included with every houseplant they sold. They lapsed into a silence that was almost companionable.
But as soon as she started to relax, Lucien went and opened his mouth again."I thought there might have been an error when the file they gave me said you hadn't had any new partners since Greysen, but now I can see why."
"What file?"
"The file that every cupid gets when they're assigned a new charge."
A cupid. Well, that certainly explained why his aura didn't feel demonic. Elain had never crossed paths with a cupid before, and she'd been under the impression they were supposed to be a bit moreโฆcute.
A promise for the future (one shot - I cherish this quite a lot)
Fed up with just sitting in the kitchen or in the garden, or taking care of her nephew, Elain decided to sign up for a pottery class, somewhere in Velaris near Feyre's studio. What she didn't bother to check was who her teacher was supposed to be...
Authentic feeling (one shot - something light)
Just a conversation between Elain and Lucien about the mating bond and how hard it is for her to understand it (my take).
Elain and Lucien converse through letters (collage)
Elucien in Spring Collection (animated collage)
Perhaps she might give him a chance (animated collage)
The Fawn and The Fox (animated collage)
Elain and Lucien converse through letters
Lucien takes Elain to the tulip fields (long pov)
Elain learned why Autumn Court males are said to have fire in their blood
Elain and Lucien in the '40s-'50s
After a long day teaching literature at the university, all Lucien Vanserra wants is to come home to his lady
Elain goes to Day Court to discover more about being a seer. Helion welcomes her with great joy, but she finds someone else there, another discovery, perhaps a love long forgotten but ready to blossom
Elain and Lucien grow tired of everyone suffocating them, so they run to the countryside for more peace and quiet
Lucien takes Elain to the Winter Court for a change of scenery
Lucien and Elain take shelter in an inn after a long and cold journey across the continents. There's one problem though: only one bed
Elain tangled herself into some Autumn Court Drama in the means to save Lucien
Wedding Night
Elucien's Wedding
Wild and beautiful and drenched in sun
Gentle and tentative touches
Elucien in The Victorian Era
Elucien in Autumn Court Ballroom
Elain and Lucien have the chance to know eachother better at last
All Roads Lead To You = completed, 5 chapters, 31k words, rating E // Five years after the war with Hybern, the world is relatively peaceful, and Elain is relatively bored. When she decides to travel the Continent in search of her purpose, the last thing she expects is to run into her almost-mate Lucien Vanserra at a wine bar in Montesere -- and get very drunk and go swimming. Together. The next morning, she flees in shame -- but wherever she goes, Lucien just keeps on appearing. As if it's destiny.
Phoenix Rising = ongoing, updates every Mon, Thurs and Fri, with a final length of 140k words and 32 chapters, rating M // It has been twenty-five years since Elain was Made. Ten years since she lost the love of her life, Azriel, defeating Koschei. Eight years since Beron Vanserra claimed the Dread Crown and became High King of Prythian, forcing Elain and her friends to scatter to the four corners of the world. Lost in her grief, Elain works as a nurse in a war hospital in Rask -- until one day, she recognises a patient: Lucien Vanserra, the last free Heir. Charged with healing Lucien's mortal wounds, she finds herself drawn into an adventure -- of dragons, prophecies, allies and magic. But Lucien has secrets too, and as she grows closer to him, it is her heart that faces the biggest test.
Lonely Together = one-shot, 7k words, rating E // Always the odd one out, always the one without a partner -- Elain can't help the loneliness that plagues her immortal life. Until one Starfall, she decides to finally make a move on her mate, Lucien -- one one condition: that he's not gentle.
Feysand:
A Rake By Any Other Name = Regency AU one-shot, 7k words, rating E, the first in my Regency Romance one-shot series // Feyre gets more than she bargains for when she's caught at a political radical meeting by Rhysand, Viscount Velaris.
Nessian:
Burning Bright = Regency AU one-shot, 8k words, rating E, the second in my Regency Romance series // Dissatisfied with her life living off her brother-in-law's money, Nesta finds solace in Cassian, the groundskeeper, who thinks nothing of proper society -- and everything of pleasure.
Azris:
The Tender and Growing Night = Regency AU one-shot, 8k words, rating E, the third in my Regency Romance series // When Rhysand brings Azriel to a new gentlemen's club, he realises this is a place where he can truly be himself, for the first time ever. And the club's owner, Lord Eris Vanserra, has caught his eye...
Elriel:
I Dream About You = one-shot, 5k words, rating E // Azriel returns to the House of Wind to find Elain, alone; it's time for her to tell him what she really thinks.
Other:
In Spring, Becomes the Rose = Elain/Lucien/Tamlin, 82k words, 20 chapters, rating E // Elain volunteers to go to the Spring Court to help rebuild, with Lucien alongside her. She expects to hate Tamlin -- to hate them both, actually -- but the truth couldn't be further from it. As well as rebuilding a court and redecorating a house, Elain finds herself grappling with irresistible feelings for both males -- as well as strange new powers and magic she must learn to use before it's too late.
This post will be regularly updated when I post more! Enjoy <3
Heads up, I mainly write one-shots and like ending in cliffhangers, usually to keep it open ended if I decide to continue with the story.
Kiss Prompt: Of Love
Lucien woke up to the sound of Elain vomiting and took care of her throughout the morning.
Kiss Prompt: Of Pretend
Elain volunteered to be Lucien's date to intercept information from an agent of Koschei. She played her role with a bit more commitment.
Kiss Prompt: Out of Spite
Elain was reeling from her rejection post-solstice and felt the need to find someone to blame and apologize to her. Lucien wasn't going to be the scapegoat in this situation.
Kiss Prompt: Out of Envy and Jealousy
Elain had never seen Lucien in his natural element at a ball, so it surprised her how much attention he received. She was prepared to let it go until she saw one particular lady giving her mate more attention than she was comfortable with.
Kiss Prompt: Good Morning
Elain's morning ritual involves visiting her father's grave, the site where she secretly meets with her mate.
Gwyn and Lucien are cousins
Azriel and Elain try to find some time to talk things over from the previous solstice but keep getting distracted when they weren't sure why. Eventually, their discussion shifts to Gwyn and Lucien's growing closeness, becoming the focal point of their conversation.
SJMRomance Week: Day Seven: Free: Angst
Lucien finally had enough of dealing with the unanswered bond and decided to take matters to his own hands. Meanwhile, Elain procrastinates on telling Lucien how she feels and was met with consequences of his actions
SJMRomance Week: Day Five: Favorite Tropes
Fake Dating + Touch Her and Die aka Lucien brings Elain to present her to his father where a brother thought Lucien was still the weakling who left the Autumn Court
SJMRomance Week: Day Four: Little Things
A day in the life of High King Lucien and High Queen Elain
SJMRomance Week: Day Three: Wedding
Elain finally shares to Lucien that she is ready to accept the bond but before they could, Lucien feels like there is one more thing he needed to do
SJMRomance Week: Day Two: Traditions
The females of the IC gather around to gossip about Valentine's Day plans
SJMRomance Week: Day One: First Date
Elain tease brought a little more than what she expected when Lucien asked if she wanted to accompany him to the Day Court
Lucien's POV to Elain being kidnapped
Lucien feels a surge of panic as he learns that Elain has been kidnapped for the second time. Determined to get back to her, he starts plotting his course of action. However, in the midst of his urgency, her father stops him and offers some advice.
LucienWeek: Day Two: Style
Lucien receives his Day Court attire, which appears to be a prank orchestrated by the two High Lords. However, the reaction he receives from Elain is entirely unexpected.
LucienWeek: Day Three: Mask: Part One
Lucien, wearing the mask he has donned for centuries, entertains the Princess of Vallahan after catching sight of Elain. Unexpectedly, the Princess offers him something, prompting a question about whether his mask can become his new reality.
LucienWeek: Day Seven: Mask Part Two
As Lucien poses his question to Elain and the time ticks down, he finds himself torn between what it is and what it could have been.
LucienWeek: Day Four: Emissary
Trouble at the Illyrian camp brings Elain and Lucien together as they work to find a solution and prevent another rebellion.
LucienWeek: Day Five: Family
Lucien receives an unexpected present from Eris, dating back to the day he left the Autumn Court.
LucienWeek: Day Six: Romance
After Solstice, Elain noticed a change in Lucien's demeanor and wondered if he was aware of what had transpired. Helion, taking matters into his own hands, decides to facilitate a conversation between them, leading to Elain opening up and baring her heart to Lucien.
Not-a-Date Date
In a compromising situation at Hewn City, Elain finds herself in need, and Lucien comes to her aid. As Lucien bids her farewell, Elain discovers a desire within herself to accompany him.
Lucien's POV After the Necklace
Lucien finds himself standing in front of Elain after Azriel's departure.
IC play matchmaker
The Inner Circle members all have varying opinions on how Elain and Lucien should navigate their mating bond.
this is my roman empire. and after all these years, i finally have to say something.
GRUNT-WHIMPER??? GRUNT-WHIMPER!!!!???
ANNABETH GIRL ARE YOU OKAY??
forget her just standing there gasping for air. forget her very audible sigh. forget the fact that annabeth initiates 80% of their kisses and literally has to restrain herself from kissing him in front of all of New Rome in MoA. i could go on and on about how many times percy calls her beautiful and attractive (letโs not forget how his heart races and his skin tingles at her touch) and all his boyfriend-ly thoughts about her, but lets focus on annabeth for a sec. BECAUSE ANNABETH CHASE IS GRUNT-WHIMPERING??
our girl was feeling ALL the things in this scene. sheโs so weak in the knees for him that she canโt even hide it in front of piper. also percy must be a fantastic kisser? BECAUSE GRUNT-WHIMPER??
do not EVER tell me percy and annabeth donโt have romantic feelings for each other. do not EVER tell me itโs purely platonic. if youโre someone who thinks โnah i canโt see them getting married and having kids cause i donโt think they feel that way about each otherโ you clearly did not read about the grunt-whimper (well, you can hc whatever you want. i respect all opinions. but i do think you need to re-consider and account for the grunt-whimper)
BECAUSE GRUNT-WHIMPER?? ONE GOOD KISS FROM PERCY IS MAKING ANNABETH CHASE GRUNT-WHIMPER?? IS THAT RICKโS โCHILD-APPROPRIATEโ WAY OF SAYING SHE MOANED?? HE SHOULD HAVE JUST SAID SHE MOANED. GRUNT-WHIMPER IS SO MUCH WORSE. THAT GOES SO FAR BEYOND A MOAN. A MOAN IS TAME COMPARED TO A GRUNT-WHIMPER.
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