Love scares you. When you finally start to feel safe with someone, you question it. How can you not? You’ve seen firsthand how even true love can break into a million pieces, bringing out the worst in people. How fireworks eventually combust, how commitment breaks like glass, how people promise to be there until “death do them part,” for “better or for worse,” but promises don’t mean a thing.
So you put up a shield you spent years crafting - it’s a strong shield, preparing you for the worst. Abandonment is your worst nightmare because you’ve seen how no matter how much someone may love you, they can leave.
And that is the most terrifying thing you have ever learned. If the one relationship you needed to work more than anything fell apart, it’s fair game for any other relationship to break. For anyone else to decide it’s not worth it. For anyone else to decide you’re not worth it.
When you do let someone in, it’s hard for you not to try to control the relationship, to not have anxiety every time they don’t respond to your calls when they’re out - “Let it go. You’re worrying for nothing” you reassure yourself. But anxiety always seems to win.You have a big fear of the unknown.
So you compensate. You’re driven; you’re unapologetic. You relish in your independence, you go after what you want - fearlessly, without caring about the approval of others. You will seem bulletproof. The people who have experienced the most pain always do. You know you can’t control other people, but you also know that there’s always a silver lining. Even the worst situation or event have a positive aspect. For you, it’s your drive and empathy.
When you do love, you love unconditionally. You will give your partner all of your love and efforts as a way to keep the flame alive. You want it to last. There’s still a part of you that won’t ever stop fighting for true love, a small part, but a part you’ll do anything to hang on to nevertheless.
prguitarman
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
turnnoffyourmind
ellievsbear
stormborns
blakekathryn
gracieabrams
