MOVED TO DUNAMANCED

mr. orange man. by henri.

[savezaun-arc]

WHAT'S SEXIER THAN WIZARDS? NOTHING! loved by babadook. template. art.

[widgast]

so..........this blog is going to be archived and i'm gonna make a new blog! wow! i have no impulse control and i miss writing caleb

[lily-musings]

                            You keep storing up all that anger and grief.                              Eventually it spills over. Or you drown in it.

[melamemea]

send me "be honest..." with a question your muse has been dying to ask mine and they'll answer truthfully.

[widgast]

new icon hehe

[widgast]

Gay

"oh, how you wound me, mollymauk."

[widgast]

what’s your muse’s relationship with the current state of their body? / what are your muse’s feelings towards the culture of romance and sexuality as it pertains to their identity?

the first one is very, very complicated. once, before trent, caleb didn't care much for his appearance or body type at all, and was more focused on learning all that he could. he's loved learning in general all his life, and only became aware of his body once others started commenting on it. his parents were farmers, and caleb worked with them, but never picked up much muscle, preferring to read and observe.

after trent, things became much more... painful. the scars still ache, and right after he escaped from the asylum, he was terrified someone would recognize the scars as trent's experiment and try to take him back or make trent aware of where he is. he's uncomfortable in his skin in a way he never has been before, and hates it. it takes him a long time and a lot of love from the mighty nein for him to become even close to okay with how he feels and looks.

eventually, some time after the end of the campaign, likely while he's teaching, he becomes almost as accustomed to his skin and appearance as he did when he was a child, apart from the use of testosterone. almost comfortable.

caleb is... fairly neutral about romance and sexuality. if he isn't in a relationship, it's just something that happens for people that aren't him. he barely pays attention to it. it only occurs to him that something is different if someone close to him enters a relationship, romantic or sexual, and can make him uncomfortable. pda can make him uncomfortable, but mostly because he doesn't really know how to handle something so intimate and what he considers private in front of him. as it pertains to him, he's still very neutral. he knows who he is, and knows he's more removed than most people, but as long as someone isn't having sex in front of him, he remains so.

[widgast]

caleb going prematurely gray from stress..... caleb growing his hair out that he can almost sit on it.... caleb's hair getting caught on his beard in windy weather and chuckling as he contains it.......

[widgast]

🍒 Would they ever want to get married?

before the end of cr2, i would have said maybe, under very special circumstances. but! with how liam set up how caleb lives after the campaign, i think it's very possible. it'd take a lot of time and effort on his partner's side for caleb to eventually become comfortable enough with the idea. it would have to be a suggestion, not a proposal the first time it's mentioned, because he has to overthink everything before making a choice. but with the right amount of patience, i think he'd definitely agree.

[sagamemes]

sexuality & gender diversity headcanons.   here’s one for the lgbtq+ muses: put a number in my ask, and i’ll tell you about my muse’s gender or orientational identity and their relationship with it. tw: topics of homophobia, transphobia, dysphoria and discussion of internalised oppresive attitudes in some of the questions. if you want to help your followers to pick out questions a bit, tag this post with your muse’s label(s) as you reblog!

what do you label your muse as, and how do they label themselves? is there a difference, and if so, why?

has your muse’s understanding of their own identity changed after realising they aren’t cishet, and do you see it developing further in the future?

when did your muse first realise they’re attracted to the gender(s) that they are?

when did your muse first realise they’re not attracted to the gender(s) that they aren’t?

when did your muse first become aware that they’re not cis?

when did your muse first become aware that their gender identity isn’t within the binary?

how public is your muse about their gender / sexuality / romantic attraction?

is your muse out as lgbtq+? how specifically and in what situations, if that varies.

how much does your muse’s gender identity and presentation differ from one another? is this a source of issues, or does the relationship between the two feel natural?

how does your muse feel about not being cis or straight? are they content with it, proud, ashamed? would the situation be the same if the culture or surrounding support systems were different?

have there been other meaningful people of the same or similar identities in your muse’s life that they’ve looked for support or understanding from? how did that go, and was the impact positive or negative in the end?

what are your muse’s feelings towards stereotypes relating to their identity? do they affect their self-image, or how they perceive others?

was your muse ever in denial about the matter? do you have any examples of specific instances where it was particularly obvious?

has your muse had feelings or experiences that seem to / do conflict with their identity? are these general knowledge? does it alter how others see them, or how they see themselves?

if the thing that originally caused them to realise / start the chain reaction to realising they weren’t cishet had not happened, how much longer would it had take to end up here?

do they consider to ‘always have been’, or do they see the phases in their life before coming out as ‘back when i was [cis/straight/allo]’?

how are their feelings towards pride and related phenomenons?

how does their family feel about the matter? friends? coworkers?—and does their thoughts matter to your muse?

what’s your muse’s relationship with the current state of their body?

what are your muse’s feelings towards the culture of romance and sexuality as it pertains to their identity?

what words do they reclaim, what are they okay with being reclaimed, and what do they do not want to used to describe them?

[leneemusing]

IT’S  ALL  ABOUT  THE  YEARNING 

❝  you need someone.  let me be that person.  let me be what you need.  ❞

❝  look,  i dunno if i’m the kind of person you need or even want right now.  but i’m looking around and i’m the only one who’s here.  ❞

❝  i never realized how much i needed you until you were the one person who wasn’t there.  ❞

❝  you asked me once,  if i would ever take a chance on us…maybe that ship sailed.  but.  ask me again?  sometime— doesn’t have to be today.  maybe tomorrow just.  ask me again.  ❞

❝  i know i can’t protect you from everything,  but i wish you’d let me protect you from the things i can control.  ❞

❝  i used to have so much faith.  maybe not in deities or something but,  in the world.  the universe.  i believed their was a purpose to it all.  i’m not sure when i lost that.  ❞

❝  have you ever had something…missing?  like something just doesn’t feel right inside you but you don’t know what it is.  ❞

❝  sometimes,  i just need the world to be beautiful.  i know how dark and ugly it can be but i just want to see something good and focus only on it for a few minutes.  ❞

❝  i was sort’ve hoping you needed me.  is that selfish?  ❞

❝  people need someone to see them for what they are and not just see it but accept it.  i want to be that person for anyone i can…but it can be so suffocating to be that person and also remain unseen.  ❞

❝  sometimes i feel i’m being crushed under the weight of everything i’ll never be.  ❞

❝  you’re looking at me but you’re not seeing me.  do you know how that feels?  just see me.  please.  ❞

❝  i want to deserve you.  i’m trying to deserve you.  ❞

❝  i know i fucked up.  i know i did but don’t shut me out anymore.  let me in.  please let in.  ❞

❝  every time you smile at me,  i memorize it.  i remember each moment that i get to be the one to bring out that light inside you.  no matter what happens between us,  that’s what i’ll remember.   ❞

❝  i can’t help but think there’s got to be something out there for me,  somewhere.  just some place where i actually feel like i belong.  ❞ 

❝  the world is so big.  why do i never feel like i fit into it?  ❞

❝  when i’m with you i feel like myself.  i feel like every side of me is present and accepted.  and i feel good about it—  i feel good about who i am when i’m with you.  ❞

❝  do you like me?  i know you love me.  i know you care about me but.  do you like who i am?  ❞

❝  i want to look in the mirror one day and not feel uncomfortable with my own reflection.  ❞

❝  just take my hand and close your eyes.  pretend we’re anywhere else but here.  ❞

❝  so,  what would you be?  if you had to power to change all the things making you unhappy,  what would your life look like?  ❞

❝  do you even know what it does to me?  every time i see you cry,  any time you’re hurt even the smallest bit it just— do you realize how deeply you’ve imbedded yourself into my heart?  ❞

❝  i don’t feel like a whole person without you anymore.  i don’t fucking care if anyone else would say about that.  you’re part of who i am now.  the most important piece of me.  ❞

❝  every time you walk away you take another piece of me with you.  ❞

❝  i’m only really living in the moments when we’re together.  the rest is just existing until you look at me again.  ❞

❝  it feels like there’s a string around my heart and it’s connected to you.  everywhere you go you’re just tugging me behind,  pulling me towards you.  ❞

❝  you’ve got me in the palm of your hands.  you could crush me and i would still thank you for touching me at all.  ❞

❝  i no longer know where i end and you begin.  you’ve wound yourself around my soul so tightly,  you’re all i feel anymore.  ❞

❝  you’ve stolen my heart,  the least you could do is tell me what you intend to do with it.  ❞

❝  i don’t have perfect words.  i’m not the kind of person who knows how to sound poetic and shit.  so all i know what to tell you is that i belong to you.  i don’t know if you want me.  but i’m yours.  and at this point however it is you need me,  i’m here.  ❞

❝  you’re the only thing that matters anymore.  i can’t eat,  i can’t sleep—  all the goddamn cliches from every stupid movie and song.  you’re all i think about.  i’m useless except when i’m yours.  ❞

❝  i haven’t stopped thinking about the way you laugh.  i’m hoping i’ll get to hear it again.  ❞

❝  when your eyes are on me,  i feel like something worth seeing.  ❞

❝  just let me look at you for a little bit.  ❞

❝  i would do anything for you.  all my lines and rules.  they mean nothing when it comes to you.  it’d cross and break them all just to make you happy.  ❞

[colorizedmeme]

Questions for 🏳️‍🌈GAY AF MUSES🏳️‍🌈

🍓 Have they ever fallen for someone straight?

🍌 What do "gay thoughts" look like for them?

🍆 Do they maintain an active sex life?

🍒 Would they ever want to get married?

🥑 Do they pass for straight, or do people take them for gay at a glance?

🫐 Give us a song that describes something about their sexuality.

🍇Do they hang out with a lot of other LGBT people? Is this a conscious decision?

🍎 How do they flirt with the same sex?

🍏 How do they react to flirting from the same sex?

🍉 Do you try to stick to a canon muse's OG sexuality, or switch it up?

🍍 Has this muse's sexuality changed over the course of playing them?

🍑 For research purposes, do they top or bottom? Exlusively, or preferentially?

🍋 Have they ever dealt with homophobia? If so, how?

🍉Is a gay muse easier or difficult to write for you?

[widgast]

👀

[widgast]

okay so i disappeared from tumblr and discord but holy shit m9 series!!! we did it reddit!! 

update on how i’ve been in the tags if anyone’s interested. gonna put all my blogs on an indefinite hiatus, if it wasn’t already obvious rip

[tarydarrington]

“and i am looking at him as if i am looking in a mirror”

[seizedeath]

hi gamers. i’ve been absent the past couple days because i’ve been at the mayo clinic. i’ve been waking up very early for me and been busy pretty much the entire day with appointments and meetings the past three days. i finally have a break today, and won’t have to go back until next wednesday for my last appointments, so i should be around! 

i’m probably going to start listening to/reading the lucien book! it might take me a few replies to get back in the groove of rp, so please be patient. if anyone wants to plot my ims/discord are open! i’ll hopefully get my oc’s pages finished soon too. just been wildly busy iutharkj

[seizedeath]

okay accidentally got caught up with the cr server and made a new oc instead of writing here so see y’all when i get to the first hotel after driving tomorrow!

disco’s they/them himbo#5413 if any mutuals wanna write on discord to get faster replies or just vibe!