Calamity Grandma @wikishit - Tumblr Blog

If you don't like aces then you're bad at sex that's just science

I am the marinade in which God soaks His fury

"never bite the COCK that feeds you" I think to myself in bed, snickering. With such witty wordplay I'm content knowing that my space in the sixth grade boys social order is secure for another day.

#social order #sixth grade #word play

The clitoris is the Devil's Uvula

#anatomy #devil #sexy devil #uvula #science

Not to be problematic on main but I want to pretend my mouth is a stapler as I it clamps down on someone's inverted nipple

#problematic #inverted #nipp noop #stapler #clamp

As a feminist I won't be able to rest until someone starts selling gamer boi bath water, but as an elite gamer myself who understands His Brothers I respect the musk of gaming and that any true elite would rather die than lose it

#gamer girl #gamer boy #bathwater #feminism #elite

Uh-oh, son. Looks like your old man just had a Paul Blart Mall Shart! Hahahahaha call your mother and tell her it happened again; I will hide in the JC Penney

#son #father #paul blart #jc penney #father son bonding

Why does it sound like someone is playing ping-pong every time I jerk my gerk?

#jerk #gerk #ping pong #why #help

Hey boys, why don't we head back to my place... My pussy tastes like gaming.

#gaming #boys #flirting #snack #gamer fuel

Organize? More like orgin-ASM, am I right ladies?

#lolol #orginization #ladies #i dont want to clean my room

"it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" and "ignorance is bliss" are mutually exclusive

#coexist #love #bliss #better #lost

Me *walking into Claire's with a hot glue gun*

If god continues to tally my sins after today it will be little more than an effort in redundancy

#Claire's #hot glue #arts and crafts #mission