The Stonewall Inn
Today's Document
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Jimmy Eat World
Show & Tell
EXPECTATIONS
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titsay
RMH
Fieri Frames
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TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
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h
Kiana Khansmith
Noah Kahan
KIROKAZE
𓃗
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Origami Around
seen from Sweden
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Vietnam
seen from T1
seen from Netherlands
seen from Spain
seen from France
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Sweden
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Germany
seen from Uruguay
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Bermuda
seen from Chile
seen from Brazil
@will23482
testing testing
Found out how to make original post! Yay. (Going to side of screen, click the pencil icon on the bottom that says 'create'.)
Call me Wisp. Multifandom. Use any pronouns for anonymity's sake, just make it blue so I know you're referring to me. No DNI.
i think ppl would be a lot happier and better-adjusted on here if they realized that being online on a website is like being in any other casual public space full of people. if u walk into walmart u dont immediately think to yourself “i have to be friends with everyone in this walmart and if not everyone likes me i’m a failure” and u really shouldn’t feel that way online either. likewise if there’s a guy in the walmart parking lot shouting obscenities u probably wouldn’t answer him and that’s literally an exact equivalent to some of the weird stuff that people on here seem to feel they’re obligated to respond to.
you are the youngest person ever
lets all horrifically torture our favorite characters together Forever
grief
was talking to a coworker and realised i could not for the life of me remember his name but i was too embarrassed to ask because we've spoken multiple times so mid-conversation i started concocting a plan to nudge the conversation towards the ID photos on our building passes so that i could be like oh my ID photo is awful haha the camera they use to take these has a real talent for making me look as unphotogenic as possible and then he would say oh yes me too haha everyone says that (because they do) and then i would be able to say well let me see yours it can't be as bad as mine! and he would show me his ID because we are coworkers and why wouldn't he and this would allow me to see his building pass which of course would have his name on it and then i would be able to say well yours is perfectly nice it must be me that's the problem! and then we would have a polite chuckle about it and i would have his name without needing to ask for it and he would be none the wiser and all would be well but then before i could execute this fine plan a little voice in my head went "so this is some light yagami bull shit you are about to pull" which was such a violent reality check it shocked me completely out of my embarrassment and i went "hey im so sorry your name has slipped my mind could you remind me" and he did and it was fine.
"This is some Light Yagami bull shit you are about to pull" <- Littany against avoiding small embarrassing/awkward moments that don't matter with over the top ass mind games.
Actual things that happen in the 1897 Dracula novel, without context:
A character has ominous nightmares and attributes them to eating too much paprika
Dracula first appears wearing a fake beard
The person he was trying to fool with the fake beard immediately realizes Dracula and Beard Guy are the same man, due to both having really firm handshakes
We are told parrots are immortal unless fatally wounded
A Texan cowboy opens fire on a bat flitting around a window, and lodges a bullet in the wall of an occupied room
A woman is called a polyandrist for receiving blood transfusions from multiple men
An incorrectly addressed telegram leads to two deaths, multiple druggings, and several children being assaulted
Dracula, while trying to maintain a low profile, takes a lovely trip to the zoo and freaks out the animals so badly that he gets mentioned in a newspaper article
The one character who knows anything about vampires spends a good two-thirds of the book refusing to talk about vampires
Dracula went to Satan's Witchcraft Academy and somehow this is only brought up in two throwaway lines
A character gets stuck inside a circle of communion wafer crumbs
A major plot point of the book is Dracula (who was said to be a brilliant scholar and has the strength of twenty mortal men) realizing he can move boxes without human help
Someone is referred to as "manifestly a prig of the first water"
Two characters have a hobby of reading train schedules
A hospital lets a mental patient escape to see what will happen
A character starts vomiting up feathers from eating whole birds
A doctor refuses to give a medical diagnosis and instead makes a speech about growing corn
Dracula impersonates another character just by wearing the same clothes, despite being taller and visibly much older. This deception is successful.
A character "cleans" a room by eating all the insects in it
Suddenly: rats. Thousands of them.
The heroes progress in their efforts through "the wonderful power of money," i.e., bribery
Dracula has three other vampires in his castle. Their relation to him is never explained, nor are any of them named.
A character insists his salvation depends on having a pet cat
Dracula is thwarted by flowers on more than one occasion
A group of vampires stand in the hall outside a man's bedroom, talking loudly about their plans to eat him. When he comes to the door to confront them, they run away laughing
Dracula wears an unfashionable hat and gets roasted for it
A group of Romanians encounter a disheveled, shouting man and, "seeing from his violent demeanour that he was English, they [give] him a ticket for the furthest station on the way thither that the train reached."
A boat crashes due to Dracula having the munchies
A wolf is thrown through a window and immediately runs off, confused and covered in glass
Dracula makes a bed
decisions decisions
Chapter 6.5: Epilogue & Remnants of Despair
(The background screen, which was previously glitching, flickers. It then shows AI JUNKO. She screams, wordlessly, for a moment.)
[AI JUNKO]
Stupid, boring, hopeless Hajime. You go back now, you'll just fall right back into my hand. A life of imperfection~! Can't you see? All that awaits is despair!
[HAJIME]
You got one thing right… I'm definitely not perfect.
(He smashed the button, and the screen glitches one last time. It flashes many different colors. The background screen that housed AI JUNKO has gone completely dark.)
[AI JUNKO]
Noooo!
(The screen goes completely dark. AI JUNKO's broken, echoing voice goes silent. After a few moments, MONOKUMA and MONOMI enter the stage from opposite sides.)
[MONOKUMA]
Congrats… You won.
[MONOMI]
Me? Uh… I thought you won…!
[MONOKUMA]
Who even knows anymore? I've been doing this for like, three and a half years now… I'm tired. I'm done.
[MONOMI]
Yeah I guess… after a while you have to ask yourself, uh, what more could you even do…!
[MONOKUMA]
Right. So, what's next?
[MONOMI]
Um, well, I'm here, and… you're here, but there's nobody left to control now. So…
[MONOKUMA]
Yeah… Where is here?
[MONOMI]
Uh… I don't know…! I guess it's just… some convoluted metaphor.
[MONOKUMA]
Yeah; Well. Welcome to Danganronpa!
[MONOMI]
Uh… What's a Danganronpa–?
(Before MONOMI can finish her question, the screen glitches. It then shows a black background, with big green letters saying, “Neo World Program Terminated.”)
-
(The screen then opens to an empty stage– only for a moment– before MAKOTO appears, running across the stage towards BYAKUYA and KYOKO.)
[MAKOTO]
Okay. So I got some good news and I've got some bad news.
[KYOKO]
What happened this time?
[MAKOTO]
So! They're gone.
[BYAKUYA]
What do you mean they're gone!?
[MAKOTO]
I mean they left.
[BYAKUYA]
Well, where did they go, ‘sir’!?
[MAKOTO]
I don't know! But I have a feeling that we won't need to worry about them again.
[KYOKO]
A feeling we're saved…
[MAKOTO]
I mean, I've got a pretty good track record. Plus–
(MAKOTO pulls something out of his pocket, showing it to the other two. A tape.)
[MAKOTO]
They left this.
(MAKOTO hands the tape to BYAKUYA.)
[BYAKUYA]
A video tape? In the year of our lord 2024–25?
[MAKOTO]
Just. Watch it. I think they're going to be okay.
(MAKOTO leaves the stage, followed by KYOKO and BYAKUYA, who’s still inspecting the tape.)
—
REMNANTS OF DESPAIR
(HAJIME stands alone on stage.)
[HAJIME]
People of the world
You know our names, you know our crimes
So listen close
I'll only say this just one time
The moon has set
And you don't need to fear the dawn
This battle ends
This time tomorrow we'll be gone
The air is clear, unlock your doors
You won't bleed here anymore
This is no trick, we are sincere
We just want to disappear
(THE REST OF THE SURVIVORS join HAJIME on stage.)
[ALL]
We know our words cannot repair
The destruction we’ve declared
But now we'll go where you won't find
We are the shadows in the night
We're at the beckon of the light
We are the monsters in your bed
And now we're just as good as dead
There are no victors in our game
So let us stand up and proclaim
We journey now, to who knows where
We are the remnants of despair
[HAJIME, spoken]
Find your families and hold them closer tonight. It's time to rebuild. To put an end to despair. You've won.
(As the next verse is sung, the death students trickle onto the stage.)
[THE SURVIVORS]
We once were yours
You once believed we'd move the stars
We are not gods
And starting now we'll just be ours
[HAJIME]
You look too deep in the divine
And the dark is all you'll find
There are no profits worth enough
There are no prophets in the rough
We know our words cannot convey
The regrets we wish to say
[THE SURVIVORS]
You will not hear from us again
[ALL]
Let the nightmares end
In the coming storm
In the raging tide
Let the sun peak out
Let it be your guide
When you're lost at sea
Let it carry you home
Carry you home
[THE SURVIVORS] / [THE DEATH STUDENTS]
We are the shadows in the night / In the rugged roads
We're at the beckon of the light / Where there once was violence
We are the monsters in your bed / There is only calm
And now we're just as good as dead / There is only silence
There are no victors in our game / Listen to the sea
So let us stand up and proclaim / Let it carry you home
We journey now, to who knows where / Carry you home
We are the remnants of despair
The world is barren in our wake / In the coming storm
But we know something has to break / In the raging tide
There will be clouds, there will be rain / Let the sun peak out
So we can wash away the pain / Let it be your guide
There may be some who say you'll fail / When you're lost at sea
But still the future will prevail / Let it carry you home
You'll start anew, you'll be okay / Carry you home
All that and more it starts today
[THE SURVIVORS]
And just as far as birds can fly
A place where ocean meets the sky
The early bright will start to show
So welcome in the morning glow
And all is quiet for tonight
It's time to rest you'll be alright
We'll vanquish when the moon is high
We are the remnants–
(THE REST OF THE SURVIVORS quickly step backwards. HAJIME extends his arms outward.)
[HAJIME, spoken]
And goodbye!
Chapter 6: Lore dump & Olympus (Reprise)
(THE REST OF THE SURVIVORS run onto the stage.)
[SONIA]
Hajime!
[KAZUICHI]
I've prepared shish-kebabs, (incoherent blabbering) reality is falling apart!
[IZURU]
Pathetic.
[FUYUHIKO]
Hajime, you okay, buddy?!
[AKANE]
He smells different.
[IZURU]
Wake up.
(IZURU extends his arms outward. The sound of static is heard. The other survivors are forced away, as if by a force field.)
[SONIA]
Woah!
[IZURU]
Do not run. Do not endure.
(The sound of static grows louder, but only for a moment.)
[FUYUHIKO]
What the sh*t happened to Hajime?!
[IZURU]
Remember–
(The survivors, bar HAJIME, fall slowly onto their knees.)
[IZURU]
You are torment, you are conquest, you are despair. They tried to fix us but we are not broken. Now this world has gotten boring.
(IZURU reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a button.)
[IZURU]
Press this button, and you can be free. You'll return to the real world. Everyone who's died, I’ll bring them back. You can go home. It's over.
(The screen goes dark.)
[MAKOTO, off stage]
NO, THAT'S WRONG!
(MAKOTO runs to the front of the stage.)
[MAKOTO]
Don't worry! We're here to help!
[IZURU]
Wait…
[KAZUICHI]
What is going on?!
(BYAKUYA appears on stage. KYOKO comes in from the other side.)
[KYOKO]
We are the Future Foundation!
[AKANE]
Byakuya?! We thought you were dead!
[BYAKUYA]
You can't kill a bad b*tch!
[MAKOTO]
Listen, everyone! My name is Makoto Naegi; I built this simulation.
[KYOKO]
We built this simulation.
[BYAKUYA]
Yes, with our billion dollars.
[MAKOTO]
We can shut this down, but you can't press that button!
[FUYUHIKO]
If you’re here to help us, then get us out of here!
[MAKOTO]
I–
[KYOKO]
We can't.
[SONIA]
Why not?!
[IZURU]
Because they fear us. Let us out, and we'll just pick up right where we left off. We are despair.
[MAKOTO]
Okay, so I know there's a lot going on right now, so this next part, I'm going to explain slowly–
[KYOKO]
You were brainwashed into a cult of despair, and have done horrible, unforgivable acts; But we captured you, wiped your memory, and attempted to redeem you until he infected our code with a deadly virus. And that guy, that guy's bad news…
[IZURU]
And you are an inconvenience.
(IZURU extends his arms again, blasting KYOKO and BYAKUYA away.)
[KYOKO]
Makoto!
[MAKOTO]
Okay, listen. Hajime is the key. Izuru came back to get rid of him. Save him, bring him back, then we can set you free. Hajime is the key–!
(IZURU blasts MAKOTO away. THE REST OF THE SURVIVORS crowd around the body of HAJIME. The following lines are spoken in quick succession.)
[AKANE]
Hajime wake up!
[FUYUHIKO]
We know you're in there buddy wake up…!
[SONIA]
You don't need to be big and scary, just be pathetic like Beverage Man!
[KAZUICHI]
Yeah, like f*cking Beverage Man!
[IZURU]
Enough!
(IZURU extends his arms again. The survivors get blasts off stage. The stage grows dark.)
[IZURU]
Get out. I don't need you.
[HAJIME]
Can I ask you something?
(CHIAKI is shown on stage.)
[CHIAKI]
Sure.
[HAJIME]
If you weren't good at video games, like if you really sucked at them, would you still play them?
[CHIAKI]
Of course. Duh.
[HAJIME]
But what would be the point?
[CHIAKI]
Um, the video games? I don't need to be the best at something to enjoy it. I don't even need to be good… Could you imagine if you were just the best at everything? What do you do tomorrow? I think I'll settle for being the best to be. I mean, don't get me wrong, pick your game I'll still kick your *ss… See you later, alright? Hajime.
[HAJIME]
Yeah, see you soon…
(CHIAKI leaves the stage.)
[IZURU]
Fools. She is nothing.
—
OLYMPUS (REPRISE)
[IZURU]
It's too late for your epiphanies
I am finishing my symphony
[HAJIME]
But there's nobody listening
What's the point of divinity
When you're scared and alone
Worse than any mediocrity I've known
So I'm back to writing stories on my own
Grant me the breakaway
The break of day
(He smashes something onto the floor, breaking it. The other survivors join HAJIME on the stage.)
[HAJIME]
You cannot write our futures, or claim our destinies
No hope no despair, no shadow
No one will decide my fate but me
[THE REST OF THE SURVIVORS]
No one will decide my fate but me
[HAJIME]
I am HAJIME HINATA!
Chapter 6: Olympus
[HAJIME, off screen]
What would you do for the chance to be remarkable?
(HAJIME stands alone on stage.)
[MOTHERLY VOICE]
Darling, you were more than enough for us.
[HAJIME]
But is that enough for me?
[STERN, FEMININE VOICE]
So naive… D-D-D-Don't focus on what you want to be. Start with what you'd like to be.
[HAJIME]
And what about what I need to be?
[QUIET VOICE]
What about what you need to be?
(The screen glitches. HAJIME looks around.)
[HAJIME]
What's going on?
(The question glitches, and echoes.)
[SCHOLARLY VOICE]
I believe that you are endowed with certain standout abilities that would make you the perfect candidate for the prog-g-g-g-gram.
(The screen glitches again, with the word, ‘program’.)
[HAJIME]
Program?
[SCHOLARLY VOICE]
A series of tests, a little bit of psychotherapy, but, should it succeed, you'd be a hero.
(The screen glitches.)
[???, another different voice]
H-H-Hajime, can you hear me?
(The phrase, ‘hear me’ glitches, echoing.)
[CHIAKI]
I don't need you to be something you're not. I just like–
[HAJIME?]
Useless.
(HAJIME reaches to CHIAKI, but she has left the stage.)
[???]
Hajime… H-H-H-Hajime!
[???, different voice]
We are nothing. We're useless. Don't l-l-l-lie to me, Hajime.
[LOW MALE VOICE]
What an emb-b-barrassment.
[SCHOLARLY VOICE]
You could be something greater! Haven't you ever wanted to do something with your life?
(As the voices say this, the screen glitches once more. The word, ‘lie,’ repeats. HAJIME clutches his head. The sound of static is overwhelming. Suddenly, everything stops. It's quiet.)
[NAGITO]
I can't wait to see what you’ve planned–
(NAGITO turns to HAJIME.)
[NAGITO]
Izuru.
[HAJIME]
What's happening? Tell me. Tell me!
(NAGITO leaves the stage. Feminine laughter can be heard, but its source isn't clear yet. The background screen is glitching.)
[JUNKO, off stage]
Poor little Hajime. Too many new stressors in your life. Don't worry–
(JUNKO comes onto the stage.)
[JUNKO]
I'll give you a familiar face.
[HAJIME]
Who are you?
[JUNKO]
Oh~! You don't remember~? Tough cookies. I made you, Izuru. And~! In a way, you made me.
[HAJIME]
Who was that?
[JUNKO]
Izuru? Oh, he's just your great, great grandpappy who misses you so much–
(JUNKO appears on the background screen, voice echoing. For simplicity, I'm just going to call the Junko on TV, AI JUNKO.)
[AI JUNKO]
It's you, dumb*ss.
[HAJIME]
That– That doesn’t– No.
[JUNKO]
You were such a sad, pathetic blockhead that when Hope’s Peak offered to make you their antichrist, you jumped at it~!
[HAJIME]
I don't…
(JUNKO laughs, for a few moments, before her voice turns more serious than before.)
[JUNKO]
Why do you think you're in here, Hajime? You and your gushy-wushy, goody-goody, group of friends think you're so nice, so~ good. Well why do you think you're in here, Hajime?
[HAJIME]
I…
[JUNKO]
Well, let's first establish where ‘here’ is! Welcome to the Neo Happy Island, or, as I like to call it, The Super Tron Online Legacy One Sword Art Online Player Bullsh*t World. Patent pending~
[HAJIME]
It's not real?!
[JUNKO]
Ding ding ding! The Future Foundation built you the Matrix, and buddy, you're~ Keanu Reeves!
[HAJIME]
Why would they do that?!
[JUNKO]
Oh~ Have you not figured it out~? They wanted to erase you, Izuru. You, the child of hope, harbinger of despair, you are–!
—
OLYMPUS
[ENSEMBLE]
Izuru Kamakura
Izuru Kamakura
[JUNKO]
They were right to fear you
They are only mortals
You do not adhere to
All their crude mistakes
You weren't born with greatness
It was gifted to you
Yet in your innateness
You know what difference talent makes
This is what you asked for
You were tasked for something greater than us all
When they made you, oh they prayed you'd be
Their pride and not their fall
[JUNKO & ENSEMBLE]
Rising from your tower on Olympus
You are reborn
One taste of your powers, they are limitless
And you are bored
(During the first line of the next verse, HAJIME runs across the stage, seeming panicked. He finds no exits. As the verse goes on, JUNKO follows him, and he shrinks back.)
[JUNKO]
He's still there
You come undone
Let him out
And finish what's begun
[ENSEMBLE]
Izuru Kamakura!
Izuru Kamakura!
[JUNKO]
Do you hear him calling?
You cannot control him
Your defense is falling
Like the coming of the night
If your departure
Is harsh or brash
Is none of our concern
Just obey it
Don't delay it
We don't need you to return!
[JUNKO & ENSEMBLE]
Stranded! Banished!
[JUNKO]
Lonely on the mountain
[JUNKO & ENSEMBLE]
Wishes! Granted!
[JUNKO]
Down and for the count and
[JUNKO & ENSEMBLE]
Here you're! Standing!
[JUNKO]
Anything you want is
Yours to claim in time
[JUNKO & ENSEMBLE]
Come and claim your kingdom on Olympus
Let it be yours
Give us just a taste of your omnipotents
You are the cure
[JUNKO, (ENSEMBLE)]
Welcome home (Welcome home)
Don't be afraid (Don't be afraid)
Let's enjoy–
(JUNKO forces HAJIME to his knees.)
[JUNKO & ENSEMBLE]
This nightmare that you made!
[ENSEMBLE]
IZURU KAMAKURA!
IZURU KAMAKURA!
(After a few moments, JUNKO leaves the stage. Someone who is not HAJIME stands up.)
[IZURU]
Look down. Isn't it a pity?
All the people in the city
Want to run away from sh*tty lives
Thinkin’, “all I need is savvy
Thinkin’ that'll make me happy,”
Drinkin’ platitudes and flat out lies
You went begging, “please make me special,”
Gave ‘em a boy and they gave you a vessel
No one’s ever believed the devil is dumb
[HAJIME, spoken]
Stop! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
[IZURU]
I didn't understand desire
Then I put my hand to the fire
And just for a second I wasn't entirely numb
[HAJIME, spoken]
NO!
(HAJIME pulls his hand to his chest, forcefully, trying to wrest control from IZURU. He fails.)
[IZURU & ENSEMBLE]
Tear down, light it up steady
Look out, feelin’ kind of heavy
Time now, hope that you're ready to fly
[HAJIME, spoken]
NO!
[IZURU & ENSEMBLE]
You're here, keeping me from soaring
From a world that isn't boring
I can't keep ignoring the signs
[HAJIME, spoken]
NO!
[HAJIME]
You're just a shadow
I won't be haunted
[IZURU]
Not every answer
Is what you wanted
This is who you are
Inside
[HAJIME, spoken]
NO!
[ENSEMBLE, repeating]
Izuru Kamakura!
Izuru Kamakura!
[HAJIME]
No, that is not my name
No, that is not! My name!
My name!
[ENSEMBLE]
Izuru Kamakura…!
Izuru Kamakura…!
Chapter 0: "Boring"
(NAGITO sits alone on stage. It is rather dark. The sound of creaking can be heard in the background.)
[NAGITO]
Hey. Can you hear me? You seem pretty out of it. Wait… I know you. How long has it been?! Don't wanna talk? That's okay. I can talk enough for the both of us. You know, I never could figure you out. Figures.
I bet you want to be here. You wouldn't just… let this happen. No, you chose this. Oh! So that's it… It's him… Hajime. I, too, struggled to keep him out of my mind. You know, if you needed, you could have just–
[HAJIME?, off stage]
Boring.
[NAGITO]
Sorry…?
[HAJIME?, off stage]
You're so very boring.
[NAGITO]
Well that's a new one.
[HAJIME?, off stage]
This world is rotting.
(The screen glitches, before it goes dark.)
Chapter 5: Traitor Talk, Monomi's Speech & Reality Falls Apart
[MONOKUMA]
Hey, Monokuma, buddy, wake up. The boring's done now. Huh? Oh, is it time for school? Thanks b*tch. Wow, time to vote already. Let's gooo! Puhuhuhuh!
[SONIA]
Chiaki… if we were to vote you…
[CHIAKI]
Huh? Why would you do that?
(She turns to HAJIME.)
[CHIAKI]
Please.
[MONOKUMA]
Aw, come on! No whammies, no lambies! Puhuhuh! Aaand…
(The wheel spins, landing on CHIAKI.)
[MONOKUMA]
Wrong! Nah I'm just f*cking with you. It is Chiaki. Puhuhuh! Boy, that Nagito. Nobody, and I mean nobody, could match his freak.
[FUYUHIKO]
I– I can't believe it all fell into place exactly as he wanted.
[MONOKUMA]
Oh~ Well! That's not really… No, no, actually that's very wrong.
[FUYUHIKO]
Huh?
[MONOKUMA]
Well, you see, Nagito only counted on his good luck to put the poison into Chiaki's hands. But what he didn't count on was that his bad luck would lead to all of you figuring this out, and voting for her anyway. Does that make sense? Of course it doesn't. Puhuhuh! He wanted you all to die, so that the traitor would go free!
[HAJIME]
Why would he want that?
[MONOKUMA]
I don't know~ Maybe you just weren't the hope he was looking for…!
[HAJIME, to CHIAKI]
So, you've been working for the Future Foundation? This whole time?
[CHIAKI]
I couldn't tell you…
[HAJIME]
Why not?
[CHIAKI]
No, Hajime, I couldn't tell you.
(MONOMI runs onto the stage.)
[MONOMI]
She wanted to! All this time she said, “I can't keep lying to them, I have to tell them!” But… she couldn't… Her programming wouldn't allow it.
[HAJIME]
Programming?
[MONOKUMA]
Yeah! That's right, virgin. Gamer girls aren't real. Puhuhuhuh! She was put here to protect you!
[CHIAKI]
Which is usually easier to do when I'm alive… but in this case, I couldn't quite manage. I'm an AI created to serve the students of the Neo World Program.
[MONOKUMA]
Oh, nay, on the oilers spay…
[AKANE]
Oh. Damn. That must be why you knew all that stuff about logic and numbers, right?
[CHIAKI]
No, Akane, that was mostly just basic reasoning.
[AKANE]
Oh, wow.
[SONIA]
So… I guess this is… the goodbye…?
[KAZUICHI]
Aw, just when you got a bajillion times cooler than you already were!
(CHIAKI turns to HAJIME.)
[CHIAKI]
I understand if you feel like I abused your trust.
[HAJIME]
There was nothing you could do.
[CHIAKI]
But I did keep… everything, from you. Anything you want to say, I understand.
(HAJIME turns to face CHIAKI.)
[HAJIME]
Thank you.
[CHIAKI]
Yeah, I…
(CHIAKI finally looks up, meeting his eyes.)
[CHIAKI]
What?
[HAJIME]
I don't think I would have made it through without you.
(HAJIME wraps his arms around her neck, hugging CHIAKI. She seems shocked, but, after a moment, she hugs back.)
[CHIAKI]
This is good…
(They break apart.)
[HAJIME]
God I'm such a loser. Getting worked up over some source code…!
[CHIAKI]
Yeah. You're pretty pathethic…
[HAJIME]
I should have guessed, you know. You were way too cool to be real.
[CHIAKI]
Am I?
[MONOKUMA]
Bleugh! Holy Toledo! This isn’t the newly wed game, it's the newly dead game! And Chiaki’s first up to play, so let's go little girl~! Puhuhehehe!
[MONOMI]
Stop in the name of law! Listen! I know we haven't always gotten along–
[FUYUHIKO]
I think we hate you!
[MONOMI]
But I have never sacrificed what I am to do: Teach! These! Kids! Listen, um, I know we've had some missteps… Some of you, uh, nay, most of you have died, which is a– a poor showing on my part, but by golly! Have we come together! As people! And as friends, and that's the one thing Monokuma can never take away if you don't let him! This is what we have left.
Look! You know what he is?! A bully! And when we stand united, bullies lose their power! We don't have to be particularly exceptional to do so, folks. Oh! Let's say it all together! Not particularly exceptional! Not particularly exceptional!
Come on everyone! Not particularly exceptional! Not particularly exceptional! Even in the back, let's go; Not particularly exceptional! Not particularly exceptional! Wait–
(MONOKUMA shoots MONOMI. She screams.)
[MONOKUMA]
Oh~! That feels so good! Oh, sorry, sister! Puhuh! Oh man, oh man… Does that feel good?
(MONOKUMA walks up to someone in the audience.)
[MONOKUMA, to audience member]
Hey. You; In the audience right there. You think that was funny? Yeah?! Aw, yeah, aw… you're just having a little laugh, having a grand old time, a joyous night out…! Puhuhuh! Yeah. Well. Guess what? She's dead for real this time. And you killed her.
[MONOKUMA, to rest of audience]
Yeah. This person’s laughter killed Monomi for good. She's like… a reverse Tinkerbell. Believe in her too much and she croaks. Puhuhuh!
[MONOKUMA, to audience member]
Well, I just wanted to say that you're my hero. Raise your hand, nice and high! Yeah…! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! And admit! That you are the motherf*cker who killed Monomi! Yeah, you are, high five!
(MONOKUMA and the audience member high five.)
[MONOKUMA]
Yay! Yay! Oh, that just made me oh, so joyous! Thank you for being such a good sport my… friend. Acquaintance. Oh, anyways! Back to the punishment.
(MONOKUMA goes back to the stage, laughing all the while.)
[CHIAKI]
Hajime, no matter what happens, don't ever lose sight of who you truly are. Promise me.
[HAJIME]
I promise.
[KAZUICHI]
Take it easy dude.
[SONIA]
Oh, goodbye Chiaki.
[AKANE]
I'll be fighting for you.
[CHIAKI]
Stick together, guys. I’m right there behind you.
[MONOKUMA]
Letsa! Gooo! Puhuhuhuh!
(CHIAKI is executed, going through a variety of different games built in Minecraft, before finally falling into the void. During the FNAF section, the screen zooms out to the stage, with FUYUHIKO shouting, “WAS THAT THE BITE OF ‘87?!” The screen then zooms back into the execution, which proceeds as if nothing happened.)
[MONOKUMA]
Don't worry folks! Gamers don't die! They respawn. Yeah! Alright… Oh, oh your poor sad little saps. Are you missing Chiaki? Well you really shouldn’t. AI is ruining this country. You’re bad people. Puhuhuhuh!
[AKANE]
On the contrary, we've never been more pumped!
[FUYUHIKO]
Yeah! Shut your godd*mn yingyang Freddy Fazbear-looking *ss mouth you dumb b*tch!
[SONIA]
We're going to rip out your intestines and shove them down your throat until you're begging for mercy!
[MONOKUMA]
Oh, joy~!
[KAZUICHI]
Yeah, this is doing it for me.
[MONOKUMA]
Ew… Ugh!
[HAJIME]
Doesn't matter what you throw at us. Starve us, shoot us, take away our memories– We’re stronger than you, Monokuma.
[TWOGAMI, off stage]
That's right, Hajime!
(The screen glitches, and TWOGAMI is now on the stage.)
[TWOGAMI]
Your pockets may be empty, but you're rich in the bonds of friendship!
[HAJIME]
Yeah! I–
(HAJIME looks at TWOGAMI, seeming confused. The screen glitches again.)
[HIYOKO, entering stage]
Yeah, Byaukya! You're just a little ant mound Monokuma! And we're gonna go squish!
[HAJIME, to HIYOKO]
Didn't you–?
[MIKAN]
You're almost better than me.
(The screen glitches again. MIKAN joins HIYOKO on stage.)
[HAJIME]
What the…
(PEKO appears on stage.)
[PEKO]
We are mightier than you.
(The screen glitches again. NEKAMARU comes on stage.)
[NEKAMARU]
And meatier than you!
(Everyone, bar CHIAKI and TERU TERU, who has died is on stage now.)
[TWOGAMI]
And if Teru Teru was here, he would say–
[TERU TERU, off stage]
Kebabs?
(Everyone except HAJIME cheers. The screen glitches again.)
[HAJIME]
This doesn't make any sense! Stop!
(As HAJIME screams, the screen glitches more intensely, before everything turns black.)
Chapter 5: Bench Scene, Know Thy Enemy & Endless Ocean (Reprise)
(GUNDHAM laughs, before leaving the stage. As GUNDHAM laughs, the background screen turns from the Funhouse to the wheel, which spins, before landing on him. After GUNDHAM leaves, MONOKUMA, and the currently alive students, trickle onto the stage.)
[MONOKUMA]
Ohohoh! What a doozy! No animals were harmed in the making of this punishment.
(MONOMI appears on stage, which prompts MONOKUMA to shake in rage. He grabs his gun, and shoots her. She leaves the stage.)
[MONOKUMA]
One animal was harmed in the making of this punishment! Hahaha! Puhuhuh!
(MONOKUMA leaves the stage, laughing all the while.)
[KAZUICHI]
This is the part where Nagito says some crazy bullsh*t like, “man–”
[NAGITO]
I hated that.
[KAZUICHI]
Okay…
[NAGITO]
What a joke; A joke, told by a bunch of fools!
[HAJIME]
Alright. Seriously. What is up with you?
(NAGITO moves closer to HAJIME, until they're practically nose-to-nose.)
[NAGITO]
Hehehehehe! I know everything. I figured it out. What we're doing here, who sent us, and what they did it all for. I even know who you are.
[HAJIME]
What?
[NAGITO]
You… are… nothing. You’re a reserve course student. You paid to get in. You don't have an ultimate! You're worthless. Hehehehe. Just… like… me.
(AKANE steps in between NAGITO and HAJIME.)
[AKANE]
Hajime is nothing like you!
[FUYUHIKO]
Yeah! Get the f*ck out of here, sh*t-stain!
[NAGITO]
Okay. I'll get out of your hair. Hehehe.
(He moves to leave, before turning around quickly, brandishing the green folder.)
[NAGITO]
But be warned! I will find the traitor. Hehehehe! Things are about to get a lot more interesting. Hahahaha!
(NAGITO leaves the stage.)
[SONIA]
Just once, I would like for things to get a little less interesting.
(Everyone, bar HAJIME and CHIAKI, leaves the stage.)
[CHIAKI]
I've heard about the reserve course. They don't have ultimates, but that means they work twice as hard.
[HAJIME]
How could I be so stupid?! I knew I was different. I don't have any talent, or anything special. I always knew that.
[CHIAKI]
Being Hajime is pretty special to me. Hey! Um…
(CHIAKI pulls something out of her backpack. A DS, with a game open on it. She shows it to HAJIME.)
[CHIAKI]
Look what… I found…
[HAJIME]
Super– Super Mustard World!
[CHIAKI]
Yeah, haha… Weird, huh? It's the only game they had in the rec center. Want to play?
[HAJIME]
Yes! What the hell?! Are you crazy?!
(They rush over to sit on the bench that's on the right side of the stage, and begin to play the game. Unnoticed, SONIA and FUYUHIKO hide behind and beneath the bench, respectively.)
[HAJIME]
You know, the thing that bothers me about it the most is…
(He looks over to CHIAKI.)
[HAJIME]
I feel like I was pretending to be something I'm not; And… you guys don't deserve that. I'm sorry.
[CHIAKI]
Hajime…
(Suddenly, SONIA pops out of her hiding place. At this angle, you can also see KAZUICHI also hiding behind the bench, unnoticed.)
[SONIA]
What are we playing?
(HAJIME and CHIAKI scream, startled.)
[CHIAKI]
Sonia, what were you doing under the bench?
[SONIA]
I don't know… It sounds like Hajime is going through a bit of an identity crisis.
(KAZUICHI pops out of his hiding place.)
[KAZUICHI]
I agree–
(HAJIME and CHIAKI scream, again.)
[HAJIME]
Kazuichi. What were you doing under the bench?
[FUYUHIKO, still underneath the bench]
Hajime. Hajime, buddy–
(HAJIME and CHIAKI scream, as FUYUHIKO slides out of his spot, still talking.)
[FUYUHIKO]
I need you to listen to me.
[HAJIME, as FUYUHIKO is still talking]
What is happening?
[FUYUHIKO]
We… do not care if you are main course, or reserve course, or f*cking obstacle course. Give me your hand, give me your hand–
[HAJIME]
What? Okay…
(HAJIME does so, and FUYUHIKO gives him one of those complicated friend-handshakes. During the beginning of it, HAJIME mutters an, “ow.”)
[FUYUHIKO]
You ride with us.
(Suddenly, AKANE runs onto the stage.)
[AKANE]
Hey guys–
(Everyone else shrieks, startled.)
[AKANE]
Why did nobody invite me? I love benches!
[CHIAKI]
Listen, Hajime. We don't feel any different about you then we did yesterday, and… we won't feel any different tomorrow.
[KAZUICHI]
Yeah, who cares if you're not an ultimate? Who cares if you're not an engineer, or– or a world leader, or a crime boss, or an Olympic level gymnast… I'm not.
(SONIA covers KAZUICHI mouth.)
[SONIA]
What I believe Beverage Man is trying…
(She lets her hand go, but KAZUICHI puts it back. She gives a small, “oh,” before letting it go again, rubbing her hand on herself with a quiet sound of disgust.)
[SONIA]
What I believe Beverage Man is trying to say is, Hajime, we do not need you to be special. I mean, we already think that you're the bomb!
(An explosion suddenly goes off, causing everyone to scatter. Cries of surprise follow, before NAGITO enters the stage, laughing like a madman.)
[SONIA]
Oh, god, mercy!
[NAGITO]
No mercy, dear. Just pure, unadulterated hope! Hehehe!
[???]
What is that?
[NAGITO]
Oh, that's what we call a warning shot. The real party’s hiding somewhere on the island~ Hehehehe! I say you have about… 45 minutes to deactivate it before we become the next Atlantis. Hahahahahahaha! Unless, of course, the traitor wants to reveal themselves now.
[KAZUICHI, off screen]
You're crazy.
[HAJIME, off screen]
[What] the hell’s wrong with you?
[NAGITO]
Okay. If I were you, I'd invest in some life jackets. Hahahahahaha!
(NAGITO leaves the stage, still laughing.)
[KAZUICHI]
Okay. Okay. F*ck. Someone has to be the traitor…! Not it.
[HAJIME]
Split up. Find the bomb. Go!
(Everyone does so.)
[FUYUHIKO, leaving stage]
Where the f*ck did he get a C4?!
(The screen goes dark. SONIA runs back on stage.)
[SONIA]
It's not in the club house!
(FUYUHIKO runs on stage.)
[FUYUHIKO]
It's not in any of our rooms!
(AKANE joins them on stage, seemingly chewing on something.)
[AKANE]
It's not in the kitchen.
(The screen changes to an ocean background, with KAZUICHI swimming.)
[KAZUICHI]
It's not in the ocean!
(CHIAKI runs on stage.)
[CHIAKI]
They aren't anywhere else…!
(The lights are turned on. HAJIME joins the others on stage.)
[HAJIME]
So that just leaves– There!
(Everyone on stage moves towards the background screen, which has been switched to the warehouse, before being switched to the warehouse on fire. KAZUICHI tries to force the door open.)
[???]
Open it, open it!
(AKANE kicks the door down, and everyone shields their face from the flames. SONIA screams. AKANE then moves her arms out in front of the others, who huddle together.)
[???]
[Over there! Here!]
(AKANE finds fire grenades, and starts handing them out to everyone else.)
[SONIA]
Quickly, quickly!
[CHIAKI]
Okay. Okay. Now!
(With a shout from some, everyone throws their fire grenades. Sizzling is heard, while the crackling goes out.)
[HAJIME]
There. The sprinkler should finish the job.
(The stage goes dark, while a cloud of smoke, or fog, covers the screen. The fog dissipates, showing NAGITO’s corpse– holding a spear– with the stage tinted in red. Everyone screams. The tint dissipates.)
[HAJIME, off screen]
God… this is…
(MONOKUMA joins the surviving cast on stage.)
[MONOKUMA]
A masterpiece~! Oh~!
(MONOKUMA, along with everyone else, approaches the body. MONOKUMA crouches down to… ‘inspect’ it.)
[MONOKUMA]
The slits in the wrist~! The scratches on the knee~! You think you have seen it all! But then you look, the Pièce de résistance! The spear in the tummy~! I have to kiss the props department who did this! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
(MONOKUMA stands up, and HAJIME crouches next to the body.)
[SONIA, off screen]
Who could have done this?!
[KAZUICHI]
Someone who f*cking hated Nagito…
[FUYUHIKO]
Yeah, that narrows it down.
[CHIAKI]
We are the only suspects, and we were just racing to defuse a bomb.
(MONOMI enters the stage.)
[MONOMI]
Everyone, wait! Our troubles are over! I just diffused a bomb~! What?
(She sees NAGITO’s corpse. She screams.)
[HAJIME]
This doesn't make any sense.
[SONIA]
Look, there's an empty bottle of cyanide…!
[KAZUICHI]
Bet someone realized that a little too late, and had to improvise.
[MONOKUMA]
Oh~! Improvisation! There is no better muse~!
[CHIAKI]
Stop being weird!
[MONOKUMA]
Yeah… You're right. I hate French people. So! This looks like a little bit of a toughy for you guys, so I'm gonna give you all~ the time you– Just kidding! You get five minutes!
(The students' reactions to this can be summarized as a disbelieving yet panicked, “What?!”)
[MONOKUMA]
Oh? Do we want four?
(All the students object to that, their words overlapping and unintelligible.)
[MONOKUMA]
Four minutes, jack*sses! Get to it!
(MONOKUMA leaves the stage. The students begin panicking, all moving closer to the dead body.)
[SONIA]
Everyone, I want you to know that I trust you with my very being, but it would be so much easier for us if the traitor could just reveal themselves right now, please and thank you–!
[CHIAKI]
They're not going to! So we have to figure it out some other way…! What do you think, Hajime?
[HAJIME]
I don't know.
(CHIAKI approaches HAJIME, crouching down next to him.)
[CHIAKI]
Hey… Hey. I know a lot must be going on in your mind right now. So, I just want you to know that whatever happens in there, I want you to do whatever you need to do.
(HAJIME looks at her, confused.)
[HAJIME]
What?
[CHIAKI]
It's game time.
(KAZUICHI licks something– NAGITO’s blood– and is hit by HAJIME. The screen goes dark for a moment, as everyone, bar HAJIME, moves away from NAGITO’s body.)
—
KNOW THY ENEMY
[HAJIME]
Locked with the enemy
I'm begging for some kind of answer
Still, you're indenting me
From the depths of hell
Still circumventing me
Is what it is that you've been hiding
How to know thy enemy
When you don't even know yourself?
[NAGITO, spoken]
How indeed.
[HAJIME, spoken]
You're just a vision
[NAGITO, spoken]
We're more alike than I thought, Hajime. I, too, struggled to keep you off my mind~!
[HAJIME]
Of all the mysteries
That elude me
None subdue me quite like you
What you're playing at
What you wanted
Are they one in the same?
[NAGITO]
We are kindred
And you know it
You won't show it, but I know you do
Like an analogue
We're one picture
From two different frames
(NAGITO boops HAJIME on the nose. HAJIME makes a biting motion in return.)
[HAJIME, (NAGITO)]
Try to look into his head
(Now I'm living in your mind)
Find the needle in the hay
(Still you're seven steps behind)
Every hidden little thread
(No more holding back now)
[BOTH]
‘Cause the stakes are too high
Know thy enemy
To know it all, the
True intentions, unanswered questions
Clear your mind and
Make your inference
Lose what you differ in, then split the difference
Search the farthest corners
Search within as well
To know thy enemy
It is to know yourself
[FUYUHIKO, spoken]
So this should be easy; Find the traitor, find who killed Nagito.
[CHIAKI, spoken]
Could any of us have done this? After all that running around trying to find the bomb, the only person left unaccounted for since we lost sight of Nagito… is Nagito…
[AKANE, spoken]
So all the cuts and the splits and the spear right in his food hole… You want to say he did that to himself?
[HAJIME, spoken]
Maybe…
[NAGITO, (HAJIME)]
I did what I had to do
(Was it all a great success?)
For a righteous recompense
(Was it just a lucky guess?)
I'm no different than you
(I cannot falter now)
[BOTH]
It's for all of our lives
Know thy enemy
To tear it down, the
Lies and trickery, all contradictory
On the precipice of all the answers
Truth’s a dance, and here are the dancers
Searching for the reason
Right before the fall
To know thy enemy
It is to know it all
[KAZUICHI, spoken]
Okay, so let's assume we're all crazy and Nagito did that to himself! My question is: why the hell?
[SONIA, spoken]
Perhaps his true talent was performance arts!
[CHIAKI, spoken]
Or… maybe he's trying to trick us…
[HAJIME, spoken]
What if… none of this killed Nagito?
[KAZUICHI, spoken]
Nah, I'm pretty sure it killed him.
[HAJIME, spoken]
What if it's all a red herring, to hide his true plans?
[CHIAKI, spoken]
The poison…!
[FUYUHIKO, spoken]
From the stray bottle!
[NAGITO, spoken]
Oh, right, the poison! But what difference does that make? Who killed Nagito?! FACE IT, HAJIME! YOU CAN'T FIGURE! IT! OUT! Hahahaha!
[NAGITO]
I'm just a pawn in the game
[HAJIME]
I'm just a prisoner in time
[NAGITO]
I'll set a precedent for everything and everyone
[HAJIME]
And you were ravaged in flames
[NAGITO]
I'm just a prisoner of mind
[HAJIME]
Would I be different on the other side?
(HAJIME and NAGITO tango. There is an energy to it that is kinder than hatred.)
[NAGITO, (HAJIME)]
Feel the rising of your chest
(If I want to comprehend you)
And the rushing of your heart
(Then I have to know the venue)
I have only one request
(I will turn it on its head)
[BOTH]
To reveal what is true
It could only be you
Know thy enemy
[HAJIME, spoken]
The fire grenades! Nagito poured it into one of our fire grenades before we threw them!
[NAGITO]
Know thy enemy
[SONIA, spoken]
But how do we know who threw it?
[HAJIME, spoken]
We don't. Only he could have known who it would be, exactly who he wanted!
[NAGITO]
Search the farthest corners
Search the deepest falls
[BOTH]
To know thy enemy
It is to know it
To know thy enemy
It is to know it
Know thy enemy
And you know it all
(HAJIME and NAGITO spin, once, before HAJIME drops NAGITO. NAGITO returns to being a corpse. He then leaves the stage.)
—
[HAJIME]
He's lucky.
[CHIAKI]
What?
[HAJIME]
He's lucky. This is how he gets the traitor.
[FUYUHIKO]
You don't mean…
[HAJIME]
He knew the one who threw the poison would be the traitor because he is lucky!
[FUYUHIKO]
Well in case you don't remember, we don't know who the traitor is. So! Unless they'd like to reveal themselves, which I might remind you they did not do at the threat of total annihilation, then god help us.
—
ENDLESS OCEAN (REPRISE)
[CHIAKI]
What if the traitor knew the truth?
But for some reason they couldn't say it
And every part of them wants to say it
But it is not their place to choose (HAJIME, spoken: no, no…!)
What if they knew what must be done? (HAJIME, spoken: you can't!)
To do whatever they can to guide you
And know that somewhere deep down inside you
You must have known it since day one (HAJIME, spoken: please, I don't want to lose you…)
Maybe they hope that you'll be patient
They'd even understand
If you just don't want them to die
But they hope you know
That most of it
Wasn't a lie
Chapter 4: Trial Four & Ballad to Life
(The screen goes dark, before transitioning to everyone currently alive– bar NAGITO– standing on stage, seeming listless. After a moment, NAGITO joins them, holding a green folder.)
[FUYUHIKO]
About damn time. Where the hell have you been?
[NAGITO]
Oh, I'm sorry. Were you talking to me?
[FUYUHIKO]
Ohohohoh… what?
[NAGITO]
I don't have time for jawdropped fools. There's a murder to solve.
[GUNDHAM]
What the f*ck…
(MONOKUMA enters the stage.)
[MONOKUMA]
Alright, kids! You know the drill! Trial number– what is it, seventeen now? Alright, letsa go–
[NAGITO]
Little did they know, I already knew who the killer was before I even entered the room. But I'm going to let them figure it out, all on their own.
[SONIA]
Who made him worse…?
[NAGITO]
Oh, me? Hahahahahaha! Don't worry about me. I'm not important.
[AKANE]
Gladly. Now who killed Nekamaru?
[HAJIME]
Well, here's what we know: Nekamaru was found killed at his charging station, which is connected to the green house. We all saw him last night before the doors locked, which means he was killed sometime between then and when it unlocked in the morning. So the killer must have been a girl.
[KAZUICHI]
Yeah! And if you look here–
(Everyone, bar KAZUICHI, screams, as he holds MEKAMARU’s mask out to show the others.)
[HAJIME]
WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT!?
[KAZUICHI]
I don't know, I thought we could use it! Look, ohhh, I'm Nekamaru! My IBS is cured!
(Everyone else loudly objects to MEKAMARU’s mask being used in this manner, with GUNDHAM saying, “A man is dead!”)
[HAJIME]
Ri– Right moving on–!
[KAZUICHI]
Well his wires were torn up from the inside. There were little cuts and chips all over the place.
[AKANE]
So the killer must've been good with wires?
[KAZUICHI]
Yeah. Waitwaitwait, no– We said the killer had to be a girl, remember? Not Sonia, though.
[AKANE]
When did we decide that, sexist?
[NAGITO]
Bullying a girl? Not cool, Kazuichi.
[HAJIME]
No. We said that because the only time it could have happened was at night, when the door to red house was locked.
[AKANE]
Wait. But I tried to see Nekamaru last night… His door wouldn't unlock, so I tried… tumbling it down.
[FUYUHIKO]
Wait, so then, when did they kill him?
[NAGITO]
It's not a matter of when, but rather, from where.
[KAZUICHI, off screen]
I liked you better crazy.
[CHIAKI]
I never liked him.
[NAGITO]
You want to know the reason for my sudden change of heart?
(NAGITO lifts the green folder up for everyone to see. Everyone else flinches away from the sudden movement, with KAZUICHI yelping, “Not homework!”)
[NAGITO]
HERE! In my hands, the answer to everything. Hehehehehe. The trial, the killer, even the game itself.
[HAJIME]
Well… can you tell us?
[NAGITO]
No.
[HAJIME]
Why?
[NAGITO]
Shut up! As it pertains to the trial, what's most fascinating is not what's in here, but rather how I received it. Exhibit B!
(NAGITO raises the hand that holds the folder, and the background screen changes to THE ULTIMATIUM.)
[HAJIME]
Did he just have this ready?
[NAGITO]
The ultimatum; In which Monokuma challenged me to a deadly game in order for a leg up in the trial, and, little did you know, access to anywhere in the building.
[AKANE]
So what, like you teleported or something?
[NAGITO]
Exactly like that, yes.
[CHIAKI]
What?
[NAGITO]
And then I thought, ‘wouldn't it be interesting, if someone was offered the same thing and used it to get into the charging room?’
[GUNDHAM]
And when have we ever once been rewarded for trusting in your ledgair domain?
[NAGITO]
Exactly, never. Good luck.
[HAJIME]
That is about the only explanation we have if it was locked at night.
[FUYUHIKO]
I mean, do want to at least consider… you heard how he was talking last night. Do we maybe want to consider that might have sacrificed himself for us?
[AKANE]
No.
[FUYUHIKO]
What?
[AKANE]
Not happening; Never. He wouldn't do that.
[FUYUHIKO]
How do you know that?
[AKANE]
I just do.
[KAZUICHI, mimicking MEKAMARU]
Oh, well thanks–
[FUYUHIKO]
Put it away.
[GUNDHAM]
It's not funny. It's not cool man. It's not.
[AKANE]
Well, listen. I don't have to add in terms of evidence or reasoning, but I do know how to listen to my gut; And my gut’s telling me that no one loved life like Nekamaru did, and we shouldn't take any of that for granted. Also my gut’s telling me to get some shrimp puffs.
[GUNDHAM]
The only thing your gut has ever blessed us with is more fuel to the fire. If the metal man truly cherished life as you say, would that not make his sacrifice all the more noble?
[HAJIME]
No. No… Akane may be onto something.
[AKANE]
She is?
[HAJIME]
If a robot wanted to, um– Unplug? Un… power? Power down? Live?– stop functioning… Unalive, sure; If a robot wanted to stop being, how to do it?
[KAZUICHI]
Self-destruct, I guess.
[HAJIME]
Right! And it definitely wouldn't tear tiny little cuts and chips into its wires.
[CHIAKI]
Never underestimate what robots can do.
[KAZUICHI]
Yeah, but we still don't know what could've made those little cuts! They almost look like… bite… marks. Ohoh, well, well, well. Hold the…
(KAZUICHI hands FUYUHIKO MEKAMARU’s mask, before moving towards the center of the stage.)
[GUNDHAM]
What spawns the widening of your mouth, urchin?!
[KAZUICHI]
Folks! In a stunning turn of events, the true killer has been discovered by none other than Kazuichi Souda~! Thank you and goodnight.
[FUYUHIKO]
Dude, you need to chill it with the Gundham-hate-boner.
[KAZUICHI]
No, I'm legit. I'm totally legit! Little bite marks in his head, what does that look like? Oh, I don't know, hamsters.
[SONIA]
Oh, Beverage Man I'm going to start using swears at you now! F*ck! Sh*t! Son of a b*tch!
[KAZUICHI]
Hey, I didn't say stop; Keep it going. Come on.
[NAGITO]
Perhaps I can, how do you put it, Gundham– Add more fuel to the fire– Or whatever you sound like. Every morning I wake up to the alarm, and I go, and get Gundham from the soundproof room. This morning, because I actually hate him, I didn't. Neither, I assume, did any of you.
[HAJIME]
But, there he was… right there with the rest of us.
[KAZUICHI]
So, if he could sneak in while Mekamaru was still in sleep mode, he wouldn't even have the chance to fight back.
—
BALLAD TO LIFE
[GUNDHAM, spoken]
BLASPHEMY!
[GUNDHAM]
You who are blind speak like nothing escapes your sights
Blasphemy!
You dare to question lord of the dreaded night
To tell him what’s wrong and right~
(GUNDHAM goes to the center of the stage.)
[GUNDHAM]
Do you know what the devil would give
For the one life that's yours?
Yet you court him, awaiting your curtains
A fate with no cures
I will not drown in the Styx
When I could swim in the sea
And neither would he
(MEKAMARU joins GUNDHAM on center stage. They circle each other, once.)
[MEKAMARU, spoken]
So it's decided: someone dies here, so that no one else dies tomorrow!
(They stare each other down, before firmly shaking hands.)
[BOTH]
Two men of mettle
They're ready to settle the score
Here they do battle
To ward off the shackles of war
They know what they’ve entered to
They have surrendered to fate
‘Cause the devil doesn’t wait
He just opens the gate
(As the previous two verses are sung, GUNDHAM and MEKAMARU fight. It ends when GUNDHAM rips off MEKAMARU’s mask, killing him.)
[GUNDHAM]
I have bought you time
Though not without its bounds
But I beg you, rediscover
How it confines and confounds
Yes, I speak of life
Not without its shade
But after eons of dancing in the dark
I’ve seen the mark the sun has made
On life (SONIA: you've touched my heart)
Isn't that sublime? (SONIA: what a brilliant thing…)
[BOTH]
Of all the centuries the stardust moved
We're here at the same time
(MEKAMARU joins them on stage, and GUNDHAM gives MEKAMARU his mask back.)
[GUNDHAM] / [SONIA] / [MEKAMARU]
Be it stormy nights / Be a comfy quiet / Life~
Or the morning glow / Or a perfect riot
This is the only / SILENCE / Is fire
Mortal life I'll ever know / I'll ever know / And ice
(GUNDHAM, SONIA, and MEKAMARU harmonize wordlessly, for a few moments. MEKAMARU then leaves the stage.)
[GUNDHAM, spoken, to SONIA]
My time in this mortal plane is fleeting. Princess, I must ask you to allow the Devas into your dominion–
(GUNDHAM hands SONIA his hamsters.)
[GUNDHAM, spoken]
They have grown quite fond of you.
[SONIA, spoken]
I will keep them happy for as long as I live…!
[GUNDHAM, spoken]
Good–
(He puts his hand on her cheek.)
[GUNDHAM, spoken]
Then make it long.
(He walks to the center of the stage, turning to the audience.)
[GUNDHAM, spoken]
Mortals! Be grateful that you once had the privilege to bask in the raw, unyielding power of GUNDHAM TANAKA! By his mercy do you stand here! By his hands shall you one… day… fall.
(He walks back to SONIA, who holds one of his hamsters out to him.)
[GUNDHAM, spoken]
What is it, Supernova Silver Fox?
[GUNDHAM]
It’s quite unbecoming
Of my creatures of the night
To face certain end in fear
My existence in this realm
Is a temporary blight
I’m merely a visitor here
So oh, let us laugh
In the scourge I have created
As I stare the depths of hell in the eyes
I welcome thee, great demons
How long I have waited
Let the fires of pandemonium
Rise!
Chapter 4: Take Your Teeth & Lucky
TAKE YOUR TEETH
[MONOKUMA]
When a formula's tired and aging a bit
And picturesque sunsets are boring as sh*t
Don't throw in the towel, you better not quit
You need a getaway
From the getaway
So gather up a handful of your closest friends
And take them to a place where their sanity ends
Where up is down, and life depends on death
(During the third-to-last line, the currently alive students are herded on stage by the ENSEMBLE.)
[MONOKUMA, singsongy]
It's Hunger Games but silly, woo!
[MONOKUMA]
‘Course there are some rules that you must obey
If you want your organs to remain
[MONOKUMA, singsongy]
Let's do it in rapid succession, woo!
[MONOKUMA]
We've done away with the frivolities
Like food and water and a fresh air’s breeze
The only way you can get any of these
Is if you kill someone
Wink-wink-wink
There's two sides where we keep your beds
Keep the girls in green, and the boys in red
‘Course there's one soundproof room instead–
[GUNDHAM, spoken]
Dibs!
[MONOKUMA]
This just in! That room was taken
Everyday you gotta bite your hand and chew it (SONIA, spoken: like this?)
And if you even once forget to do~ it
I'm gonna take your teeth
Take your teeth
Take your tee-tee-teeth
[MONOKUMA, spoken]
How are we doing, party people?!
(Those that are alive complain, overlapping. The actual complaints are unintelligible.)
[MONOKUMA, spoken]
Are you ready for more suffering~?!
(Those that are alive give a bunch of different ‘no’s. Again, what is actually being said is unintelligible. Mostly.)
[MONOKUMA, spoken]
Well why didn't ya say so?! Let's do some yoga!
[NAGITO, spoken]
I'm gonna go fetch Gundham now okay bye, I hate yoga–!
(NAGITO leaves the stage. The rest of the currently alive students start doing yoga.)
[MONOKUMA, (ALIVE STUDENTS)]
No running faster than seven point three
(Seven point three)
Don't talk too loud or we'll surround you with bees
(Please not the bees)
And no one messes up their harmonies
You'll never–
(FUYUHIKO and CHIAKI harmonise, while HAJIME sings off-key. MONOKUMA kicks HAJIME.)
[MONOKUMA]
Get away!
[MONOKUMA, (ALIVE STUDENTS)]
There's no confession to atone for sins
(Forgive me father)
When playing golf, well, the highest score wins
(You monster)
Stop complaining or I'll kick your shins
[KAZUICHI]
I need food–
(MONOKUMA kicks KAZUICHI. The next two lines are spoken in rapid succession.)
[KAZUICHI]
Owmyf*ckingshins–
[MONOKUMA, singsongy]
Shut the hell up!
[AKANE]
Hey Monokuma, what's the deal?!
It's been five weeks and you've yet to reveal~
[AKANE, spoken]
Where the hell is Nekamaru!?
[MONOKUMA, spoken]
Oh, Nekamaru, Nekamaru… You see, in the funhouse, if your name is Nekamaru, you turn into a robot.
(NEKAMARU enters the stage, now donning a silver batman mask. For contingency’s sake, from now on, I'm going to call him, MEKAMARU.)
[MEKAMARU, spoken]
Whoa! I'm a robot!
[MONOKUMA, spoken]
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
[MEKAMARU, spoken]
Do you know what this means?
[MONOKUMA, spoken]
Nuh-uh, nuh-uh.
[MEKAMARU, spoken]
My IBS is cured!
(The ENSEMBLE and MONOKUMA cheer.)
[MONOKUMA, spoken, to the audience]
Trust me, it makes less sense in game.
[MONOKUMA, singsongy]
A five, six, eleven, Q!
[ALIVE STUDENTS & ENSEMBLE]
The human body isn't meant
To go without its nutrients
For more than a day
Let alone three
I haven't slept I'm way to frightened
Don't know if it's day or night
And I'm ‘bout to decay
Let us out please
[MONOKUMA]
And there's one more rule you cannot decline
We end each song in a beautiful line~!
(ALIVE STUDENTS, ENSEMBLE, and MONOKUMA all start a kickline, with MONOKUMA at its center.)
[ALL]
If you're
Stranded on an island, you talk a big talk
But at least you got sunshine and plenty of rocks
All we get in here's hypovolemic shocks
You can't get away
[MONOKUMA, singsongy]
You can never get away~!
[[ALIVE STUDENTS & ENSEMBLE]]
In the funhouse, when there's rules, you do them
And if you do not adhere to them
[MONOKUMA, spoken]
You know what I'm gonna do!
[MONOKUMA]
I'm gonna take your teeth
Your teeth
Your tee-tee-teeth
(MONOKUMA begins to scat, while the ENSEMBLE chase, attack, and generally terrorize the currently alive students.)
[ALL]
‘Til you're wise that we have stolen
Your incisors~ and your molars~
The funhouse is where you'll stay
[MONOKUMA]
Until you
Or, at least, somebody
Dies~
[MEKAMARU, background of MONOKUMA’s ‘dies’]
I'm a robot, motherf*ckas~!
—
[MONOKUMA]
Alright! I'm gonna lock you all in and throw away the key~! Alright! I gotta take a leak, hold on, hold on–
(MONOKUMA leaves the stage, along with the ENSEMBLE. Those that are alive remain on stage, sitting glumly.)
[AKANE]
I mean um, we'd all eat Kazuichi first, right?
[SONIA]
Akane!
[AKANE]
What? I'm just saying! If we had to choose…
[CHIAKI]
Well no one's denying that… But it's entirely out of the question…!
[KAZUICHI]
Are you people blind?! Gundham’s got four little food sources running around right now!
(Everyone else argues against that. Loudly. What they say is overlapping and unintelligible.)
[KAZUICHI]
What is with these hamsters?
[FUYUHIKO]
Are we really just sitting here, until one of us dies of f*cking thirst or starvation or some sh*t…
[HAJIME]
Well. The alternative is killing someone! And that's. Not. Happening.
[MEKAMARU]
Well, about that, I mean, now that I'm a robot and everything–
[HAJIME]
Yeah, actually, I feel like we haven't properly dwelled on that–
[MEKAMARU]
Later. Look… I don't have to eat or sleep or anything, but– Well, the alternative is… I guess I'm pretty much half-dead already.
[SONIA]
You are still the same friend we very much love!
[HAJIME]
But is he, can we just establish the mechanics of that–?
[MEKAMARU]
Hajime, please! Look, I just… I thought maybe it would be easier if you just ripped out my power cable.
[AKANE]
Stupid. Robots wouldn't taste as good as… Kazuichi would.
[KAZUICHI]
Yeah, exactly– Hey what the f*ck.
[GUNDHAM]
One must never undervalue the impermanence and ephemerality of life.
(GUNDHAM stands up.)
[GUNDHAM]
How many sunsets have we yet to see? How many moons still to rise? Until I know, I tend to cherish each as my last.
[MEKAMARU]
Yeah, I just… Figured it was pissing me off to see you guys like this. There's something I can do to help.
[CHIAKI]
There’s gonna be another way. We can be patient.
(They all get up, leaving the stage.)
[KAZUICHI, leaving stage]
Akane, stop nibbling on my arm.
[AKANE, off screen]
Sorry!
-
(NAGITO sits alone on stage, writing something on what looks like a sketchpad. MONOMI runs up to him.)
[MONOMI]
Oh, hello~ Nagito!
(He looks up.)
[NAGITO]
Oh, hello. Uh, little… creature.
[MONOMI]
What are you working on~?
[NAGITO, showing her the paper]
Just a little pet project.
[MONOMI]
Oh! Um…! Is that you and… Hajime?
(NAGITO frowns, looking at the paper. His eyes widen.)
[NAGITO]
Mm–! That's an unrelated thing I was doodling on the back…
[MONOMI, as the next line is said]
Okay…!
[NAGITO]
No. This is a series of plans to have myself killed, so the rest of us can escape.
[MONOMI]
Nagito! You can't keep speaking like this!
[NAGITO]
Well, you know me…
[MONOMI]
That is not what hope is for! Hope never leaves anyone behind!
[NAGITO]
No one important…
[MONOMI]
No one at all.
[NAGITO]
Oh contrary… At Hope’s Peak, they only accept remarkable people, because it takes a remarkable person to really make a difference. The rest of us? What good are we after that?
[MONOMI]
Well– Well, I think you're a remarkable person, Nagito.
(An alarm starts beeping.)
[MONOMI]
Oh, what is that?
[MONOKUMA, off stage]
Good~ morning, Vietnam!
(The alarm stops.)
[MONOKUMA, off stage]
Who's~ hungry~!?
(The rest of those currently alive walk onto the stage, along with MONOKUMA.)
[KAZUICHI]
Good joke, man. A real funny joke.
[MONOKUMA]
I'm not joking~!
[HAJIME, off screen]
You don't mean…
[MONOKUMA]
Nope! That's right, kids~!
(MONOKUMA puts down a box of lofthouse cookies, which the students– bar GUNDHAM and CHIAKI– hurriedly rush towards, like a wake of vultures with a carcass. They eat greedily. The next two lines are spoken as that happens, in quick succession.)
[MONOKUMA]
Eat up, you've been suffering long enough! Oh, geez, louise–
[MONOMI]
One at a time! One at a time!
[MONOKUMA]
Puhuh, my stars! And I didn't even get to mention the pack of dasani off stage left over there!
(FUYUHIKO runs off stage, followed by KAZUICHI.)
[MONOMI]
Don't run!
[CHIAKI, to MONOKUMA]
So, the starvation motive got old, huh?
[MONOKUMA]
What was that?
[CHIAKI]
You knew we wouldn't kill anyone so you gave up before we starved to death and ruined your game.
[MONOKUMA]
Oh! No~! No, no, no, no, no. You see, my terms were quite clear: kill somebody, I feed you and let you out. Puhuhuhuh!
[HAJIME]
But… We don't…
(Those currently eating look up, now panicked. MONOKUMA laughs manically, while everyone else scatters to find the body. MONOKUMA is left alone on stage.)
[MONOKUMA]
Oh~ I crack myself up. Oh… there's still some cookies here. Well, one couldn't hurt…
(MONOKUMA crouches down, in front of the cookie box.)
[MONOKUMA]
Don't mind if I do… Oh, nomnomnom. Oh, Monokuma, you bad boy, oh–
(The screen goes dark. MEKAMARU’s outfit lies on the ground. MONOMI screams. HAJIME crouches in front of the not-body. After a moment, AKANE runs on stage, crouching in front of MEKAMARU’s not-body, devastated.)
[AKANE]
No! No…
(AKANE cries, kneeling over the not-body, before standing up.)
[AKANE]
If you did this, when I find you, I will tear your heart out and shove it back down your throat.
(AKANE leaves the stage.)
[HAJIME]
We better get looking.
[NAGITO]
You're right. We can't have let Nekamaru’s life have been in vain.
[HAJIME]
Nagito!
[NAGITO]
Yeah?
[HAJIME]
SHUT UP!
[NAGITO]
I-I… I was– I was just trying to–
[FUYUHIKO]
You shut the f*ck up, okay? You aren't one of us.
(NAGITO tries to stammer out a reply. FUYUHIKO doesn't let him.)
[FUYUHIKO]
Things are BAD ENOUGH as they are. We don't need you making it worse.
(FUYUHIKO leaves the stage. The rest, bar NAGITO and MONOMI, follow.)
[MONOMI]
They shouldn't say such things, Nagito!
[NAGITO]
No… They're right. No– No point in pretending like I deserve to be here. What I wouldn't give to be anything but… but nothing…
[MONOKUMA, off stage]
‘What I wouldn't give,’ my favorite string of four particular words arranged in a particular order. Puhuhuh!
(MONOKUMA walks onto the stage.)
[MONOKUMA]
Kid! You wanna become plot relevant~? Ahhhh? Come here!
[NAGITO]
Um… yeah…?
[MONOKUMA]
Oh, well! May I present to you–
(The background screen, which previously had the funhouse, now shows a gameshow-like background. The words, “THE ULTIMATUM” appear in large, blue letters.)
[MONOKUMA]
The ultimatum!
[NAGITO]
No, I’ve had about enough of those.
[MONOKUMA]
Oh, no, no, no. You don't understand. Come here, come here; Come hither, come hither.
(MONOKUMA leads NAGITO over to the right of the stage {left of the screen}, where a gun sits atop a chair.)
[MONOKUMA]
This one… is made… for you!
[NAGITO]
A gun? Made– made for me? To like shoot myself with?
[MONOKUMA]
Oh! No, no, no, no, no! Perhaps I should explain– Oh, yikes… The game I‘ve made for you is called… Russian Roulette.
[NAGITO]
Oh… Wait you didn't come up with that.
[MONOKUMA]
Okay, smart guy. The more bullets you add, the greater the risk, the greater the reward. Are you up for the challenge?
(NAGITO moves towards the chair, as if in a trance.)
—
LUCKY
[NAGITO]
I’m just a pawn
In the game of idle living
Destined to be trash in the ground
Happened upon
All the same, a chance for giving
Giving back to those who kept me around
Ultimates that make the tide shift
How can my gift ever compare
It's a shot in the dark
It's a play of the game
And I wonder if anyone or anything else
Could enact it all the same
The spark
That awakens the flame
It's a tragedy that anyone or anything else
Couldn't handle this shot
But it's all that I've got
(He picks up the gun.)
[NAGITO, rhythmic]
Lucky
[MONOKUMA, spoken]
Aw, man what it's all about! One gun! One Nagito! And one exceedingly deadly game of Russian Roulette! Yeah!
[NAGITO]
Hope is a train
That just rises in momentum
Outweighs any violence or strife
[MONOMI, spoken]
What are you doing?!
(NAGITO laughs, quietly.)
[NAGITO]
Hope as an end
Justifies the means and then some
Even if it's taking a life
(He bangs the gun against his chest for emphasis.)
[MONOMI, spoken]
Nagito, you're going to unalive yourself!
[NAGITO]
Greater risk for greater reward
I cannot flee towards what isn't there
It's a risk that I'll take
It's a game that I'll play
And I'll run the risk on and on and on again
‘til it takes me away
The choice that I'll make
For the thing that I love
So the people with god-anointed expertise
Can at last rise above
It's a shot in the dark
It's a play of the game
And I wonder if anyone or anything else
Could enact it all the same
The spark
That awakens the flame
It's a tragedy that anyone or anything else
Couldn't handle this shot
But it's all that I've got
(NAGITO aims the gun at his head, tense. He pulls the trigger. No gunshot. He untenses. He smiles. He laughs.)
[NAGITO, rhythmic]
Lucky
Chapter 3.5: Endless Ocean
ENDLESS OCEAN
[CHIAKI]
Lately I'm staring at the waves
Until the sunset burns my eyes and
Nothing but blue in the whole horizon
Until the weaker spirit caves
(KAZUICHI joins CHIAKI on stage.)
[KAZUICHI]
How many days now has it been?
How many wasted nights long behind us?
No sign that anyone knows to find us
And if they do, we don't know when
(As the next verse is sung, the rest of the currently alive students trickle onto the stage.)
[ALL]
The ocean wears away the island shore
And in its forests there is silence
For every secret answered there is more
And we are waiting for an end
[FUYUHIKO]
But all we see is an endless ocean
It ebbs and flows
And no one knows
Where it ends, this ocean
And then another sunset turns to night
[ALL]
The ocean wears away the island shore
And in its forests there is silence
For every secret answered there is more
And we are waiting for an end
[FUYUHIKO & AKANE]
And it is more
Than just ourselves
That we are losing in this fight
In this ocean
[GUNDHAM]
Call to the sea, there's no response
Look for an answer, it gives you silence
Nothing is clear on this entire island
And we've grown tired of its taunts
[SONIA]
Can we believe all that we see?
After we're told there's no one to trust here
And with our memories as good as dust here
How can I even trust in me?
[NAGITO, (REST OF STUDENTS)]
We’re drifting towards the point of no return
(Drifting closer to the end)
(Silently, the ENSEMBLE join the students on stage.)
[NAGITO, (REST OF STUDENTS & ENSEMBLE)]
The hands of fate are bound for action
What is my part to play? I’ve yet to learn
(To the edges of the sea)
But I’ll be waiting on the side!
[HAJIME, (REST OF STUDENTS & ENSEMBLE)]
And all we have is an endless ocean
(Endless ocean)
Where every splash
And waving crash
Starts to blend, this ocean
(Blend, this ocean)
Until you’re greeting
Yet another moon
[ALL]
Who can you trust
When just behind you is a shadow
Backed to a corner, and you have no
Kind of comfort, no solutions
Only panic and confusion
And you’re scared and alone
And you’re stripped away
From all you’ve ever known
[CHIAKI]
And all we see is an endless ocean
And all there is
As far as vision extends is ocean
And we won’t let it claim another night
[ALIVE STUDENTS, (ENSEMBLE)]
And no one knows (And no one knows)
Yes, no one knows (Yes, no one knows)
Just where it
Ends, this ocean (Endless ocean)
The island’s hexed (Endless ocean)
And who is next (Endless ocean, end)
In this endless ocean? (Endless ocean)
And then another sunset turns to night
[ALIVE STUDENTS]
Please let me wake up
When tomorrow is today
Please let–
(During the last verse, the ENSEMBLE starts to leave the stage. They are gone by the next line.)
[ALL, spoken]
Wake up!
—
(The screen goes dark.)
[LOW MALE VOICE]
Failure.
[MOTHERLY VOICE]
Pl-Please.
(The screen is purple and glitching. There is a crack in the middle of it. Nothing on stage can be seen.)
[LOW MALE VOICE]
All this work, and this is how you repay me? My son–
[MOTHERLY VOICE]
Give him a break! Can't you see he's falling apart?
[HAJIME, off screen]
Another dream…
[LOW MALE VOICE]
S-s-such a disappointment. Can't even get into the reserve course.
[HAJIME, off screen]
Reserve course? Where am I?
[MOTHERLY VOICE]
Please son, we need you to fight!
(Sharp laughter can be heard. Its source isn't clear. The crack warps into a stretched, monochrome picture of the original Izuru Kamakura.)
[HAJIME, voice over]
I dreamt of this day my whole life–
(The screen goes dark.)
[HAJIME?, off stage]
You can't get rid of me that easy.
-
(The stage is dark.)
[MONOKUMA, off screen]
Whoa~!
(MONOKUMA is shown on stage.)
[MONOKUMA]
What do we think about that, folks? That's what we call foreshadowing! Kinda like how Shakespeare does it, but minus all of the subtlety and nuance. Puhuhuh! How's this run time, people?! Yeah? Yeah!
Okay, I– I love seeing the energy. That's amazing, because I'll tell you what! Papa Bear is tired. I'm Papa Bear… Puhuhuh! I'm sick and tired of this beach bullsh*t. I have sand in places I didn’t know my mama gave me. My crack. So, let’s see! Round trip destination for eight–! No wait, nine. I always forget about that stupid pink fetus.
(The background screen changes. Now, a MONOKUMA puppet is on top of the typical beach background. Around the puppet, “WHERE IN THE WORLD IS MONOKUMA?” is written in black letters. As the background changes, a recording plays: “Where in the world is Monokuma?”
A moment later, the background screen changes to a desert.)
[MONOKUMA]
Alright! Oh! Death Valley, okay, okay…! Name seems a little clickbait-y. Next–!
(The background screen changes to the moon.)
[MONOKUMA]
The moon?! I can’t do a killing game on the moon! The acoustics are terrible!
(The background screen changes to a medieval battle.)
[MONOKUMA]
You’re f*cking with me. Eleventh century France? When has this… website been updated? Sheesh! Alright next–!
(From now on, the background screen is going to change a lot, so just assume what’s being described is what the background screen’s changed to. With that said: City at night.)
[MONOKUMA]
No–
(The location of V3’s killing game.)
[MONOKUMA]
No–!
(The judgement hall from Undertale.)
[MONOKUMA]
No! No, no, no–
(A bunker.)
[MONOKUMA]
No, no, no, we’ve been there, done that–
(Britain.)
[MONOKUMA]
Ew! No–
(An abandoned funhouse.)
[MONOKUMA]
No– Wait. I like the look of this joint. Puhuhuhuh! Let’s see, “do not vacation here, no really don’t.” Hm… Well, if only I could read. It’s really unfortunate that all bears are born illiterate. Alright~ The funhouse! Puhuhuh! Pack your bags, kids~! This is where we’re heading next.
(MONOKUMA starts making loud croaking sounds, before just making loud sounds in general. The stage is tinted red.)
[MONOKUMA]
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
(MONOKUMA makes a few quieter sounds, before finally stopping.)
