I bring the thunder

WilLEM A. Driscoll | 21 Professional Party Animal & Drummer for the greatest band on earth The Olympians. You may know me by reputation as: the coolest kid in town.

[willemdriscoll]

breakerofchainx:

Mona was having dinner when she heard the knock; if a granola bar and six grapes counted as dinner. Palloma wasn’t home, perhaps she was hanging out with her new sex conquest - something she still couldn’t quite believe was happening. She rushed to the door without really checking herself out in the mirror. One of the amazing things about Lem was that she knew he wouldn’t care that her hair was tied up in a side ponytail, or that she was wearing a crop-top and denim shorts in the middle of winter. He didn’t judge, and that was pretty damn cool. 

“Babe, you’re here!” She beamed, and stretched on her toes to give him a big hug, ignoring the music coming from his earphones. “Come on, we’re home alone tonight it seems.”, she said as she motioned him to come in and closed the door. “I’m sorry you missed Pallas. I know how much you enjoy - admiring her.” She chuckled, sending her friend a pointed look. The mental image of Palloma doing Lem was so completely strange, but not at all impossible. 

“So, where shall we start? Beer? Smokes? Talk? Are you going to explain the whole Heath thing to me because I’m kind of dying over here.”

Lem returned Mona’s embrace easily, pressing a kiss to her temple as he stepped inside with her. He was so grateful to be able to hang out with Mona after all that had happened... he didn’t feel like he had to second-guess himself when they hung out together. And right now, that was such a relief, he could physically feel the weight of it lift from his shoulders. His step felt lighter in her company, his head less like a big rock he’d somehow managed to drag around for twenty-one years. For the first time in a while, he didn’t feel like a fucking idiot. 

And maybe he was being a little hard on himself... but it had been weeks and he still hadn’t figure this whole situation with Denna & Heath out. And it was getting exhausting... he was losing even more sleep now than he usually did, and it was starting to show around his eyes, and in the way his nerves made his hands shake so easily now. But now, they were still. He felt still, for the first time in a long time.

“I can admire Pallas some other time,” he joked, and it still came easily to him despite the stress he’d been under lately, and despite the way he was beginning to feel completely unlovable, somehow. “Tonight is a Mona & Lem night- movies and weed and booze and only the hottest gossip.” With a practiced flourish of his hand, he produced a blunt seemingly out of nowhere, from behind Mona’s ear, and then presented it to her.

“Let’s start with that- it’s one of those dipped-in-hash-oil, rolled-in-keef joints so it’s officially the only thing that will get me high enough to talk about this...” It sounded like a joke, but didn’t feel like one, and the smile he paired with it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

[willemdriscoll]

The conversation had taken such an abysmal turn that Lem was honestly shocked. He suddenly felt so twisted up inside that none of this felt real. It felt like every bad nightmare he’d ever had rolled into one. He knew he was awake but he was beginning to feel more and more like he’d woken up in a world where his best friend no longer wanted anything to do with him, combined with one where Heath had become an unrecognizable person seemingly overnight as soon as they’d started dating someone. And he knew neither of those things were true, but it was all he could do to explain the way he felt like his brain was melting out of his ears at this very moment. This was surreal- it wasn’t the world he was used to, and it wasn’t one he wanted to exist in.

And then he was back on the beach as if he never left- floating adrift among a sea of faces that were familiar, perhaps, but not comforting… none of them who he wanted them to be… He never remembered feeling as lonely as he had that night, when he’d realized who Heath had disappeared with, and what that likely meant… not that it should matter, anyway. Maybe it was the feeling of being alone that had gotten to him, more than the people involved (although that didn’t feel exactly right either). 

Maybe that was why he was always leaving first, so he wouldn’t be the one left alone… Maybe that’s why he was always flitting from one person’s attentions to another in an instant, why he was always juggling a million different ideas and projects. Lem was slowly beginning to realize that he sort of hated that about himself, and yet he knew that he was about to do it again… Because staying would mean dealing with this fucking crazy storm of emotions that had already battered him- he was having a hard enough time keeping his head above water right now, even with Heath very present, and close enough to touch. Suddenly he felt like he was nine years old again, trying not to cry but being awfully close to it, because his dad didn’t come home when he said he would… which was honestly such a ridiculous comparison to make that it immediately snapped him back into his own skin.

It wasn’t even clear to him that he’d been dissociating all along, lost in painful memories of other times that he’d felt exactly like this and not known what to do, until something Heath said sent another jolt of anxiety running through him. It felt like a lightning strike to the heart, or the icy hand of death casually running a bony finger across his chest, freezing his lungs. Because, suddenly it sounded like Heath didn’t want him around anymore, which was exactly what he’d feared since this all began. 

“There’s no reason for you to worry about me or the club.”

…Was he being fired right now? It was a ridiculous thought, but the panic that crashed over him in that moment had managed to cloud almost every scrap of reasoning that he had left. The remaining piece he clung to desperately because he knew letting go would mean drowning, and he had to flounder enough now to at least make it out of there before the storm killed him.

He was glad his hands were already under the table because he was sure they were shaking right now. He wasn’t sure what he’d done or what expressions had come over his face in all that time, wasn’t sure how much Heath could read from him. He certainly hadn’t touched his food or his milkshake, despite how much he’d wanted them before… suddenly his appetite had up and vanished.

“I-” he started, and immediately stopped because his voice didn’t even sound like his own, or maybe he still didn’t recognize himself… “I’m sorry, Heath…”

He swallowed and his throat was too dry, but he didn’t dare take a drink. 

“I’m not making any sense, am I?” he said with a humorless laugh that sounded entirely unlike him. “I think the sleep deprivation must be finally getting to me…” It was clear his lie was weak, but it was all he had. 

“I don’t think I understand enough about what’s going on in my own head to have this conversation right now,” he said, decidedly more quiet and serious. It was too honest, but it was the only way he knew to get out of this, to escape this pain, the only way to get Heath to stop prodding what was clearly an open wound. “Would you at least let me get some sleep so we can try this again when my head’s on a little straighter?”

[willemdriscoll]

🔶

When he wakes up, Naia’s sketching in the morning light, in front of a window that faces the sea, and Lem thinks she’s never looked so beautiful. And he’s wrong. Of course he’s wrong- because she looks exactly this beautiful every day, every time he sees her. There’s just something about the light this morning, something about the way it plays through her hair and bounces off her skin, that makes him want to kiss her so badly that it’s hard for him to even breathe properly. He stares at her from the bed, tangled up in her sheets, and he doesn’t want to move and shatter this moment, but at the same time he wants to fly across the room to her and sweep her into his arms all over again. He wants to relive his time with her exactly how it all played out before, and he wants to live a thousand more moments with her that haven’t happened yet.

Lem’s beginning to realize something about himself in these moments, because it’s always the same moment, no matter who he’s with… It’s always something like this- he looks over at his friend and they’re doing something that they love, or something they’re good at, and it just catches his breath in his lungs suddenly. One minute he’s passing time with them normally and then everything slams into slow motion and he’s thinking about how much he wants to kiss them, or lie warm and comfortable in their arms, how much he wants to get coffee with them, or make coffee for them every morning. Somehow these are always the moments that make him want more.

But what is it he wants exactly? What is “more”? It only feels like this with the people he’s closest to, and that means something, doesn’t it? Why can’t he piece things together in a way that makes sense? He feels like he’s missing something obvious, and it sticks in his chest in a way that feels like pain but isn’t sharp enough. The ache starts at his heart and seeps through his limbs to the tips of his fingers and toes. But feeling it doesn’t give it a name, doesn’t make him understand any more what it is.

He should probably worry more about it, think until he has a suitable answer that he can do something with. But it’s not that easy… It’s just this feeling, and nothing else… nothing in his head… So he does the only thing he can do, one of the only things he knows how to do. 

Lem unfurls his long limbs from the bed and crosses to where Naia is stretched out on her stomach in the morning light. He drapes himself over her just enough to be able to kiss her on the back of the neck, and then trail more kisses in a path across the muscle that stretches down to her shoulder. And she hums pleasantly and smiles over at him, squinting as she shifts and a sunbeam falls into her eyes. He doesn’t want to distract her, but this is the only way he knows how to express what he’s feeling right now- it’s the only way he’s ever known how to say it, and he feels like if he doesn’t, he’ll explode.

“I want you, Reina,” he presses against her ear. He usually uses Spanish for his sweet nothings, but in this case the translation is dangerous, too close to something he isn’t sure he can say… to anyone. But this time, the English seems effective enough- Naia laughs, and her voice is breathy when she answers.

“Again? So soon?” She turned over as Lem continued kissing her neck softly, humming contentedly. “Mmm…I think that can be arranged…” He took that as an invitation, smiling as he leaned in to capture her lips with his. 

The ache was beginning to fade, and what replaced it was warm and made him start to forget his earlier confusion. It hardly mattered what he felt before. With Naia in his arms like this, with their bodies pressed closely together and their heartbeats pounding in sync, nothing else mattered.

[willemdriscoll]

naiaguerrero:

“All the right things, obviously,” she chimed playfully, fully enjoying the way his smile had returned and basking in its glory for a few more seconds before moving away and back to her breakfast. Naia continued to exaggeratedly moan as she ate until finally, her plate was empty. However, with the coffee, it was an entirely different tactic. She’d take small sips at a time, partially waiting for it to get cold but the desperation of needing caffeine in her body wouldn’t let her set it down anytime soon to do just that.

“No plans,” she responded after taking a second to think. “You can always stay as long as you want,” an eye roll, it felt like unnecessary information as he should know that by now. “Oh, are you curious?” she questioned with a smirk then proceeded to get up and take his hand, leading him to the hallway, coffee still firmly held in her free hand. “I’ll let you get a sneak peak but for your eyes only or I’ll be forced to drown you or something,” she chuckled. “Now, I’m nowhere near done but it’s meant to be my senior project,” Naia explained as she opened the door to what was meant to be a study, her parents had insisted on her having room to concentrate on solely school work — of course, she’d turn it into more storage for her designs.

“We have to prepare a show for entrepreneurship class, any theme we want but we have to do it by ourselves, no faculty help. Gotta be in charge of not only designing but the setting up, finding models, makeup, location…hair,” she sighed, just thinking about all the work it was going to take to have this all done in only a few months. “Anyway, I decided on ancient Greece as my theme, with modern stylings by yours truly. What do you think?”

Lem finished his breakfast about the same time as her, but the coffee was another story. He guzzled down his mug in half the time, and refilled it, drinking another half a cup while it was still piping hot. He could never get enough coffee, and of course the perk of making it was that he could have as much as he wanted, not that anyone was in the habit of denying Lem his gratuitous dosage of caffeine anyway... especially not Naia who knew just how much of a necessity it was for him. 

He gladly let himself be led by her, would probably follow her to the ends of the earth if that’s where she wanted to go, but in this case they only went as far as her study. He couldn’t help but be intrigued by her threat, not because he actually thought she might follow through, but because it promised secrets just behind the door. It wasn’t so much the secrets themselves that Lem valued, it was more so that he knew no greater feeling in the world than being entrusted with them. He loved to keep other people’s secrets, but even more so he loved that people wanted to tell him their secrets. It made him feel... important.

And Naia’s project was certainly something to behold. A whole room full of ideas, beautiful ideas- with sketches tacked to the wall, and fabric draped onto forms. She sounded nervous about it, but Lem was honestly impressed by what she’d managed to create already, he was sure the show would be incredible. “I think you’re gonna blow them out of the water, babe,” he said with a tone of honest awe to his voice. “You have the whole year then?” Sipping his coffee a bit more, he leaned in to examine a sketch more closely. “No faculty help doesn’t mean no Lem help, right?” He raised an eyebrow at her as if to imply that he would find a way around the rules if he had to.

[willemdriscoll]

@valentinewyght

Lem was more than a little surprised by Heath’s decision to completely open up the club to everyone, but he figured that’s what people did when their new girlfriend they were somehow attached to at the hip to after a handful of dates went out of town for a while- distract themself with elaborate parties. And even if he was still a little burned about that whole situation, he could still see the enormous benefits it presented for everyone involved. Not only was it a great way to boost the popularity of the club, but it was a way for him to personally enjoy himself a little more freely this weekend... There were, after all, no lists or passwords to circulate (although there was still a part of Lem that suspected all this was some kind of punishment for his earlier fight with Heath, and that really hurt). Of course, the best revenge would be to dangle someone in Heath’s face that they didn’t like, just like he didn’t like Denna.

And Val was the perfect choice, really. Not just for revenge purposes, but because it had been some time since he’d seen his friend out and about, and that was just unacceptable. So, after a few days of relative silence between them, Lem had shown up on Val’s doorstep with a blunt already rolled, in a sleek leather jacket and combat boots, and announced “we’re going to Cerberus, and don’t give me any excuses so you can continue being a hermit”.

So, here they were- he’d successfully hauled Val out by the scruff of his jacket and towed him to the club, where they’d gotten inside in a matter of moments, well-ahead of the ever-growing line... There were certain perks to working there, especially on a busy night like this. Once inside, Lem stopped in the center of the main room, where there were aerialists and contortionists performing overhead, and pulled Val in for a kiss.

“I missed you, dude,” he said, barely audible over the thumping music. “Next time will you at least call me to come over or something? I’ve been having Val- withdrawals...” He slid up easily next to the bar and emerged with two circus-themed drinks in no time- the bartenders were keeping them coming with impressive gusto.

“Have I ever shown you around? Like... the many different, appropriately themed rooms here? Because there’s a lot,” he said, taking a glance around and wondering what other circus performers Heath managed to scrounge up for the occasion. He leaned in a little closer and put his arm around Val’s shoulders easily. “We could make out in every single one, if you want!”

[willemdriscoll]

prestoncarver:

     “You lashed out at Denna?” he asks – and surprisingly, it comes out as a genuine question of clarification and not a defensive attack. If Lem had been anyone else, it would have been the latter; he would have immediately jumped to her defense, even if he isn’t thrilled about her and Heath dating, either; but for some reason, and maybe its the way Lem’s legs are shaking almost as much as his voice, the way he looks like he might drown right there, it isn’t. He can’t imagine Lem being mean to Denna, but then again, he can hardly imagine Denna wanting to be with someone like Heath, and that’s happening.

He takes a deep, slow breath, for a second, trying to clear his mind. 

It could have been worse; with the way Lem was reacting, he’d imagined it was; this didn’t feel like as big a deal as he’d expected. He wasn’t entirely sure where the problem was – was he upset for essentially the same reason Preston was? That he felt guilty for hating something that made his friend happy? 

     “Hey, whoa, slow down,” he says, and reaches out and takes Lem’s hands, pulls them off of his face, ducks his head down to try to get Lem to look at him. Slow down: simultaneously the best and worst advice to give. It helps, yeah, letting the world come to a stop around you so you have the time you need to think clearly, but it’s not something you can just do. 

He moves one hand to Lem’s face, like he’s trying to stabilize him, to give him something tangible to focus on.

     “Lem, hey, look at me, okay?”

Lem’s anticipating anger so he’s more or less blindsided when his friend’s voice is careful and calm in return, even more so when their touch is so gentle. It makes his heart race a little bit, in a different way than it already is, to think that Preston cares about him enough to want to help with this mess. He doesn’t really feel like he deserves it, especially with the way his confrontation with Denna had gone down. 

Still, he can’t help how his body responds to the physical contact, which had always been the quickest way to calm Lem down, to force him to a stop when his mind is wildly running. He takes in a deep, shuddering breath and closes his eyes, his hands unconsciously gripping Preston’s in return, holding a little tighter than he means to. His chest hurts and his eyes sting like tears could start falling at any moment, and he can’t help but feel like he’s grasping at a lifeline so he doesn’t drown in them.

“Yeah I uh... I threatened to expose something about her to Heath...” he admitted, still struggling to breathe properly around his words although they seem to be coming out a bit easier now. “It’s not even that big of a deal I just... I couldn’t stand the thought of her keeping something from them, I guess... And I- I mean... She was really upset... I should’nt have-”

Lem stops again when he feels a hand on his face, thinks he feels his heart stop, for just a second, and then it’s hammering against his rib cage again so hard it hurts. All he’s wanted for months is for Preston to touch him like this, and for a moment he imagines the moment as more than it is again, thinks out of nowhere that they might kiss him again, although that makes no sense in context... 

His eyes open when Preston asks, and he looks at them, and for a long blissful moment his mind empties. Lem concentrates on them, on their features, on the way they’re looking back at him. He doesn’t think about it too hard but he puts his hand over Preston’s and holds it there. And of course he still doesn’t know how to read what he finds there- he’s never been good at it and he’s certainly not going to be any better when he’s freaking out... But he feels at peace, for a moment, calm in a way that actually makes the hurt go away. It’s a pity it can’t last...

He’s quiet and still for a fleeting moment and then it all comes crashing down again, and his eyes slip shut once more against the rush of unpleasant thoughts.

“But so like, what if I’ve just ruined everything? I mean, what if they choose her and they never want to speak to me again?? I mean we’ve been friends for years, like, best friends, but now I feel like it’s all slipping away and none of it matters anymore. It’s all happening so fast I just don’t want to lose them over this, I don’t want them to hate me for not liking her. I don’t want them to choose her over me but that’s... That’s fucking crazy isn’t it because they’re allowed to- I mean, who am I to say who they date? And like, why does this matter so much to me? Why don’t I like her? I just don’t understand what’s happening, I feel like I’m going crazy or like I’ve been missing something for years-”

The tirade doesn’t show signs of stopping soon, and Lem’s hands begin to tremble in Preston’s again.

[willemdriscoll]

prestoncarver:

He accepted the fact, as Lem took his hand, that he was just going to continue to be overwhelmed the entire time he was here; it was like a river, constant motion, no chance to settle or adjust before the scenery changed again. It would have been a complete sensory overload if sensory overload wasn’t exactly the kind of thing he craved, the whole thing reminding him of some of the better full-immersion VR games he’d tried out at various conventions lately.

He had to keep reminding himself that no, this was actually a real place. A real, physical place that actually existed, and not a digital space he was wired into unusually well, an elaborate game designed to overwhelm.

Though, the fact that it was real didn’t also mean that it wasn’t basically an elaborate game designed to overwhelm.

He expected the private booth Lem guided him into to be quieter, but it was the opposite; he couldn’t stop watching the way the lights bounced off the smooth surfaces and reflected onto Lem’s skin, the shadows changing his expression every time they moved, turning him into something mysterious and unknowable.

     “I think I’ll stick with whatever this was,” he said, holding up his half-empty glass; he felt the need to shout to be heard over the noise, but when he did, his voice came out too loud, so he lowered it as he went on. “This place is fucking crazy, man. What’s the deal?”

“Broken Mirror? Alright I got you, hold on...” Lem slid back out of the booth again and stood, for a moment casting a silhouette against the rippling light and sound of the club, throwing a shadow over where his friend was still seated.

“The deal...? Can’t you tell, Perseus?” he teased, leaning over the table back into the dim cove of the banquette. The atmosphere that hung around them in that moment seemed still and dark compared to the pulsating energy of the rest of the room behind him, and he let it add to the mystique of what he was saying, let the question hang in the air for a moment for dramatic effect. 

“We’re in the Underworld, babe.” Lem laughed a little on it as he leaned back into the spray of neon lights and the thumping ambient music. “Crazy’s pretty much the currency here...which explains why yours truly can get whatever he wants.” He threw a little wink at them as he slipped away to the bar. 

Lem wasn’t gone long, appearing back at their secluded booth in a matter of a few minutes with two new drinks and a sly smile on his face. He shifted back into place next to Preston like a mirage with lights dancing off of him, only solidifying to his material form again as his leg pressed against theirs beneath the table. His expression was happy and excited, and he immediately traced his gaze over Preston’s face again as he settled in, trying to see if they were enjoying things so far.

“Nice to see you haven’t faded away to rejoin the universe,” he commented, signifying with a glance the crazy light show of stars and galactic clouds playing out along the wall opposite, hurling shooting stars up to the vaulted ceiling. He stared, for a moment, let himself get lost in it a bit because this was his favorite room for a reason, after all. It was an easy room to lose yourself in, especially with a little stimulant help, or a good dance partner. He glanced back at Preston curiously, suddenly wondering if they had any interest- Lem wasn’t the greatest dancer himself, but he was willing to look a little ridiculous if it meant watching someone else move, especially someone he liked as much as Preston...

“It’s cool, right? Nice place to let loose, for sure... You can just kinda melt into the wall here, y’know?” He took a swallow of his new cocktail, which seemed stronger than the first somehow... he knew that bartender had thrown an interested glance their way when he’d ordered... “...So, what’ve you been up to? It’s been a while since I crashed one of your streams or anything... What’s new in game world?”

[hippiebirdmom-deactivated201807]

Hermes: Messenger of the Gods

Hermes, son of Zeus and Maia, is the God of Travel, Trade, Communication, Thievery, Athletics, Language and Astronomy. A trickster from birth, Hermes is the prankster of His family and known to get up to mischief in between running messages for Zeus. Its all in good fun though, as He is known by the titles “Luck Bringer” and “Glad-Hearted.” He’s not all fun and games, however, as Hermes is also a psychopomp and has the very important job of guiding the souls of the dead to the afterlife. He is the father of many children, the most famous perhaps being Pan a god of shepherds and hunters, and of the mountain wilds, and Hermaphroditus an intersex deity of androgyny, known in history as the “God of Hermaphrodites and Effeminates.” 

All Pics Are From Public Domain

[willemdriscoll]

🔘

Lem can’t help but wince a little sympathetically as Prestonshows off the bruise they earned over the weekend. It’s inches away from beinga black eye, which is inches closer than Lem’s ever gotten, himself. It makessense that he tends to break things, rather than bruise them, because he’salways jumping off stuff he shouldn’t be… But he’s struggling to imaginegetting an injury like this from a game of humans vs. zombies…

“I hope Denna at least apologized after decking you,” Lemcommented, leaning in to look slightly closer. They were still standing justinside the doorway of Preston’s apartment, halfway between greeting each otherand moving beyond the threshold. Lem lifted the hand that wasn’t carrying abottle of Fireball to gingerly touch the edge of the bruise where it featheredover their cheekbone.

“Ah!” Preston replied as they winced slightly away from thecontact. “Well, she didn’t mean it… It was in the heat of the moment.” Quick todefend her as always… Lem rolled his eyes lightly, but smiled, his thumb lingeringand just barely tracing over the rest of their cheekbone before pulling awayagain.

“I hate to break it to you baby, but it looks like she wastrying to take you out,” Lem laughed. Preston laughed along and shook his heada bit.

“No, no, you’ve got it all wrong… We were on the same team,”they clarified. Lem’s eyebrow quirked curiously at this revelation, clearly spurring Preston to explain. 

“We were in the middle of a maneuver-” How cute- Lem thought-that they called it a maneuver; he couldn’t help but picture Prestonformulating serious tactical plans in the middle of what was essentially a glorifiedNerf battle.

“And somehow we got a little… flipped around…? Anyway so… whenthe zombies converged they managed to flank us and she caught me with her elbowas I was coming up to cover her…” They gestured animatedly as they explained,and Lem drank in every moment eagerly, grin increasing with the excitement inPreston’s expression. It was times like this that Lem’s crush on his friend wasa bit obvious- he could watch them talk like this for hours.

“Managed to take them out before they got her though,” theyconcluded with a hint of pride to their voice. It was easy for Lem to mirrortheir expression.

“So, it’s a hero’s badge of honor then?” he reasoned, with alittle nod and a smirk. His fingers curled lightly under Preston’s chin to holdtheir head in place as he leaned in to kiss the bruise softly. It ended up halfbrushing their cheekbone, half pressing into their eyelid, but Lem figured thesentiment of it came across regardless.

“Good work, hero,” hesaid softly, barely over a whisper in the sliver of space between them. Hisfingers dragged off Preston’s skin deliberately as he brushed past them intothe apartment, ten times cooler and more composed than he felt from theproximity.

[willemdriscoll]

heatharlington:

They couldn’t help but be surprised by Lem’s reasoning, him saying that he wished they had told him that they were leaving for a while, as if anyone, Lem or otherwise, ever told them where they were off to before disappearing, or even informed them before they disappeared at all. It was just how things were. But apparently Heath couldn’t do that. Finally, for once, they had actually felt comfortable at a party without being attached at the hip to one of the other Olympians, but that didn’t seem to matter.

“You and Mona literally told me to go talk to other people; you guys pulled me out to dance, and then just left me there. Which is fine, like, I’m used to that. You guys are all so much better at the whole party thing than I am. But, I mean, I was standing there alone drinking out of a flask, you weren’t around, so yeah, I guess I didn’t think to tell you I was leaving for a second,” they said with a shrug. It was just true, everything that they were saying. Sure, they were pretty acutely aware of how hypocritical Lem was being, all seemingly because Denna was involved, but it felt more important to point out how things had been that night, and how they were pretty much every other night they all were at a party that wasn’t at Cerberus. “You’ve never complained before when I’ve left without telling you.” 

There was a pause before they could go on, in which the waitress brought them their burgers and milkshakes. Heath thanked her, waiting until she was gone again to go on.

“I know it’s not like me, but everyone else is allowed to have their moments. Maybe now I want to start having mine too. But Lemmy, come on, you don’t have anything to apologize for. I understand the concern; it’s not a stupid concern. But I promise that I’m not going to let anything get in the way of Cerberus. Alright?” they asked, holding up their milkshake, in a mock toast, a sort of offer of understanding. They didn’t know how much Lem would actually believe, but it was important to them to try. Lem was one of their closest friends, and they didn’t want to hurt him, even accidentally.

Heath was right, and Lem knew it. He knew he was being hypocritical, but something about being called out on it just deepened the wound of whatever it was he was feeling. He suddenly felt the need to defend himself and his shitty, shitty reaction to all this, although objectively it was probably the dumbest thing he could do right now.

“Yeah well, I guess I just figured you’d socialize at the party like everyone else instead of running off with the first person to bat their big, pretty eyes at you,” Lem answered unthinkingly, his tone carrying the same sharp edge as his feelings right now. “Forgive me for thinking that kind of behavior’s out of character for you...” (Like he could talk right now...)

An awkward silence passed over them as the waitress came by to drop off their food, and then Heath was owning up to what Lem just accused them of, as if they’d seen it coming somehow. He didn’t know why that somehow made it worse- maybe it was because Heath could already tell that Denna was worth all of this... the breaking character, the potential risk to the club... But the worst part of it was that Lem was beginning to realize that none of that mattered to him- not that it helped him clarify what he was actually upset about.

“Whatever, you’re an adult just... don’t do anything dumb, okay? I’m not half as worried about the club as I am about you...” At least that much was true... He stared deliberately into the depths of his milkshake rather than at Heath, for the moment. He wasn’t used to being this vulnerable around them, for any reason, let alone for one he didn’t fully understand.

“Can we talk about something else now?” He felt like a petulant teenager for asking, but he wanted to avoid a fight at all costs. And apparently talking about Denna was the easiest way to annoy him right now, so it seemed like a topic to avoid.

[willemdriscoll]

prestoncarver:

Moving through the different pieces of Cerberus was a trip enough on it’s own, the shifting from crowded floor and neon lights to heavy stone to dim lighting, curtains partitioning off each discrete section like magic portals between realms. He barely managed to follow Lem from room to corridor to room, the swaying of curtains the only telltale sign of where Lem was moving, with a familiarity that Preston could barely imagine.

The ambient noise, the ghostly projections, everything pulled his focus, his attention darting from on thing to the next to the next without space for thought, a pleasant sort of constant stimulation that for a second he wondered if Lem had designed just for him before realizing that, with the amount of Adderall Lem himself was prone to take, it was more likely Lem had designed it just for himself. 

But his heart was racing, too, in that way it did on the days he remembered that his doctors had told him every check up since he was fourteen that he needed to stop drinking coffee with his Adderall, the kind of racing that made your chest feel like it would burst, a little painful and a little breathtaking but exhilarating nonetheless. 

     “I have a very strong suspicion,” he began, “that if I added acid to this mix, I would probably have an actual psychotic break.”

Lem had been here countless times now, and so what he was really interested in now was Preston’s reaction to it all. He watched his friend closely, and the way their eyes darted around to take it all in. His heart hammered in his chest in time to an ethereal beat clamoring up to the distant ceiling, so loud that he was sure Preston could hear it. And at the same time, it felt like the whole room was alive with it, like it was some kind of undercurrent electrifying the very air.

It seemed obvious at this point that Lem was concerned with quite a bit more than impressing them. He hung on Preston’s every move, fueled by the flirtation of alcohol in him and the dim lights disguising his hungry gaze. And most telling of all was that he couldn’t read their expression like he wanted to, couldn’t tell if there was a fluttering in their stomach to match his.

“Sounds like a glowing endorsement to me,” Lem joked, mostly because he couldn’t tell one way or another what Preston was feeling about it. "Come on.” He took their hand gently, fingers slipping over the fluttering pulse at their wrist. “There’s seats down here.” The way down was a dimly lit but wide and stable staircase, one that Preston likely could’ve made their way down on their own, but the crowd was dense enough for Lem to use as an excuse, to guide them through, and to keep his hand on theirs.

Lem greeted a bouncer standing in front of one of the private booths with a complicated looking handshake, and when they stepped aside, he smiled knowingly and gestured for Preston to slide in before him. The smooth surfaces of the booth seem to amplify the music and atmosphere tenfold so that they were truly immersed in it, so that the sounds and lights crawled over their skin as intimately as a lover’s fingers.

“You want anything?” Lem asked, draining the rest of his first drink. He’d promised to cover their drinks, but he was willing to supply more than just that, if asked. 

[willemdriscoll]

prestoncarver:

     “Lem,” he says, when he’s pretty sure Lem is done talking, though he’s hardly done any talking at this point, hasn’t given them much to go off of. He’s not sure what to say, past that, without knowing what brought Lem here – his instinct is, first, to see if Lem wants to play video games to distract himself, to defuse the situation, which he might still do later but doesn’t feel appropriate yet, and his first is to say of course you’re not a horrible person which, yeah, he believes, but feels like a bandage that probably won’t stick if Lem is this upset. 

Instead, he sits next to him, close on the couch, close enough that Lem can lean on him if he wants, and bumps their shoulders together, like he’s giving him permission to lean on him if he needs to without completely invading his space. 

He’s never sure what to do, in situations like this.

Really, he tries to avoid them at all costs most of the time. People don’t tend to think of him as someone to go to when they’re upset and need emotional support. 

     “Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s fine,” he starts, but that feels wrong, too, so he stops himself and changes course. “What happened?”

Preston sits close to him and somehow it makes the situation better and ten times worse. Because Lem wants to reach out and touch them somehow to stabilize himself, but it doesn’t feel right... not when this is about Denna, someone that they’d arguably side with over Lem any day. He still feels poisonous, and suddenly he feels like he shouldn’t even be here, which of course sends him spiraling into an abyss of negative thoughts that it’s not easy to get himself out of on a good day. He’s grateful his stomach is empty because he feels clammy and nauseous like he could get sick at any moment. 

Lem tries to focus on the question at hand rather than how fucked up he feels about it- what happened? When he tried to put it all together, it didn’t make much sense, and then of course there was the matter of discretion- he couldn’t spill Heath’s secrets to Preston to help explain... and he had no way of knowing if they knew about Denna’s...business or not. He may have threatened to tell Heath, which part of him still felt justified in, but otherwise it wasn’t his business who knew about her scheme and who didn’t... although honestly just considering the idea that Preston may not know either ate at Lem just a little bit more.

“Denna’s dating Heath,” is what he finally settled on first, his eyes boring a hole in Preston’s floor. “And it’s stupid but I... hate it... I don’t know what the hell my problem is...” He took a moment to take a deep breath, and finally lifted his hands off his thighs where they’d been gripping tight enough to make his legs half-numb. They shook as he rubbed them over his face, like he was trying to remove his anxiety as if it was a shroud that was threatening to smother him.

“And so I like... lashed out at her for no reason... and I was really mean... and like I’m not usually like that, right? So... I don’t know what’s going on with me... I’m just... freaking out... I-I don’t know, I don’t know... I don’t know what to do...”

[nileshadad]

Colt 45 & 2 Zig Zags

[willemdriscoll]

zac-bailey:

Where: @willemdriscoll‘s place When: January 29th

There were a couple things that Zac knew he could always count on Lem to help him out with: getting into as much trouble as possible and giving him the perfect outlet to chill, and admittedly a lot of the time it was both - concurrently. After plopping down on Lem’s couch, he pulled out his grinder and glass piece, extremely impatient and ready to ease some of the tension in his entire body. “I swear to god this has been the longest week ever,” he groaned, unscrewing the cap off the grinder and pinching at some of the herb, a laser-like focus as he thumbed it into the bowl. “Interesting week though, to say the least,” he admitted in monotone, passing the bowl over for Lem to do the honors. “So tell me, what the fuck have you been up to? I haven’t seen or heard from you in a couple days, no cute good morning text messages anymore, no shirtless snaps. Are you cheating on me?” he snorted, spinning his hat around backwards and tugging the material down. 

Lem usually didn’t hang out at home, much preferring the company and abode of his friends to his own lonely apartment, but when one of his closest friends wanted to come over, he was more than happy to oblige. Zac had been over a number of times over the years, but it still struck Lem as a little weird, to be the host for once. Still, he managed to provide a pretty chill environment- weed, tunes, comfy couches, booze and snacks. Luckily, hanging out with Zac was never something he had to think too hard about. He set a few beers on the coffee table in front of his friend and accepted the bowl.

“Nah, dude... You can’t just lead me into it with stuff like ‘the longest week ever’, and ‘interesting to say the least’ and then not deliver with the goods... Sounds like your stories are gonna be way more interesting than mine...” he said, pausing for a moment to spark up. He passed Zac the piece and exhaled through his nose as he sorted out all he had to catch him up on.

“It’s the same as it’s always been dude, I’m cheating on you with like half the town,” he said with a wink. “Nah but, nothing’s really new I guess? Been busy... But I’ll be sure to pick up on the shirtless pics from now on, just for you baby.”

[willemdriscoll]

@breakerofchainx

Lem arrived at Mona’s place precisely at 7 PM, with his trusty bag slung over his shoulder, and a twelve pack of beer hanging from the fingers of one hand. He’d been rocking out on the way there, but now that he got to the door, he pulled his headphones down until they were around his neck, still blaring metal loud enough for any to hear. He’d picked something pretty light beer-wise, but he figured six each was still more than enough to do the trick... In addition to that he’d grabbed his finest Blueberry Kush, and as always he had an assortment of pills on him, although it was rare that any of his friends partook when they weren’t at a party or the club.

Lem mentally reviewed the rest of his spoils- various snacks both sweet and salty, and a handful of DVDs in case they needed more variety to choose from. He was pretty sure he’d brought Jawbreaker, Gremlins, and at least one of the Scream movies, although he didn’t remember which one... Maybe it was for the best if Mona picked... He knocked on her door, and while waiting for her to answer he sang along to the song blaring out of his headphones, although it likely wasn’t the most appropriate thing for the neighbors to overhear...

Straight people don't know, what you're about They put you down and shut you out you gave to me a new belief and soon the world will love you sweet leaf !

[willemdriscoll]

flowersinherhxir:

location: mw public library  date: january 25th time: afternoon status: closed ( @willemdriscoll )

Denna was too focused on her laptop and the text she was reading there to actually realise that the library was actually packed, and that a familiar face had taken a seat opposite to her at one of the big tables. 

After the conversation with Preston and the dozens of flower Heath had sent to the journal after she had stopped replying to their texts, the incident with Lem had been pushed back to the back of her mind. Yes, his words still bothered her, very much so; but she was trying not to let them affect her. Preston was right, she needed to do what made her happy, and Heath was exactly that. She couldn’t believe she had thought of taking her distance for a minute there, actually closing off to the opportunity of starting something wonderful. She wasn’t going to let Willem, or Pietro, or anyone do that to her. 

Under these circumstances, it was not a very pleasant surprise when she finally decided to look up from her screen and found none other than Lem right in front of her. “Hi.”, she said sharply, only to be polite.

In all honesty, Lem wasn’t paying much attention when he sat down. He had a lot on his mind lately, including his fight with Denna. Even after talking it out with Preston and Mona, there were still a lot of bad feelings that lingered, and they’d been clouding up his mind lately... It had been bad enough that he’d started falling asleep in class, which he’d never done before, even with his many years of expert-level sleep deprivation. Now any reasonable person would probably try something different like getting more sleep when they were supposed to, or cutting back on the caffeine... but not Lem. No, in fact he’d probably doubled up on the coffee... and the Adderall... Not the best idea, admittedly, but then again Lem wasn’t really in the business of bright ideas.

As a result, he had to commit a little more time to his schoolwork than he normally would have, hence why he was making an appearance at the library to study. And he didn’t notice it was Denna he was sitting across from until it was too late- specifically, when she looked up and greeted him. He’d already gotten out his laptop and study materials, and a cursory glance around the library revealed no other open spaces to retreat to. For a moment, Lem considered going back to his apartment to work instead, but that seemed petty. And honestly the prospect of going back there when it was empty and probably only had old pizza in the fridge was... particularly depressing.

“Hey,” he returned finally, after probably staring at her, mouth agape, for too long. He started studying, highlight things in his textbook and taking down special notes on his laptop, but at the same time he kept an eye on her, as subtly as he could. As he watched her for a moment, he considered what it could possibly be about her that bothered him so much. It wasn’t like him, to just dislike people for no reason... and now that he knew what Denna’s deal was... and it wasn’t something that was a huge deal, all things considered, it made even less sense that he should feel so antagonistically towards her.

“This is stupid,” he said, throwing down his highlighter after a moment. He was quiet for a moment, and then leaned over the table towards her a bit so that perhaps the entire library wouldn’t be privy to their conversation. “If we’re both going to be in Heath’s life, we probably shouldn’t hate each other...”

[willemdriscoll]

solbergb:

Bertram believes in logic above all else. He believes those who know live better than those who feel, and the never ending pursuit of academic perfection is what gives his life meaning. However, Bertram (always the late bloomer) is at a crossroad, as he peeks i his young adult life and is only now presented with may opportunities that other kids his age already indulged themselves in in high school, but that’s his internal struggle. Despite the small voice in his head saying to ‘live a little’, his academics are thriving. Second year into his double major without faltering in his 4.0 GPA, drive and anal retentiveness have proven to be, for him at least,  to be the ideal academic system.

Because of this, he was for lack of a better term, very used to dragging people behind him and had a bit of a knack for teaching and helping others. Usually there was a price (tutoring) or they had to be attractive for Bertram to even bother. But the latter played here, so he was all in for a few hours at least.

Clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth he smirks. “Head start? Please, you’ll at least be leaving with a detailed outline, that I promise you.” He nods. “For sure. I need as much caffeine in my system as possible. I have a Skype session with this women’s from NASA’s Aerospace Engineering team who I harassed into looking over and discussing my Master thesis, but she can’t contact me until 3 AM. Which sucks because my usual sleep schedule, with the exception of exam weeks, is like 11 PM…” He chuckles, casually rambling about something nobody in their right mind would care about. He just gets really excited about school work. “Oh! I do actually. Um, I’m probably going to focus on some of the more Machiavellian characters? It seems the easiest path to go about this, you know? Probably use someone historical and cheat it a bit… You?”

Lem had to smirk a little in return at Bertram’s promise. A detailed outline was certainly more of a guarantee than he could give himself. In fact, he wasn’t sure he’d ever done an outline before unless it was specifically part of the assignment... “Well if you’re worried about staying up I can get you an Adderall... that’d do the trick just fine... But otherwise a well-timed nap and a really loud alarm should do the trick...” Lem advised because, after all, if there was anything he was an expert on it was keeping himself awake at times he should have been sleeping... Had there been a Sleep Deprivation major of study at MWU, he probably could have sailed through the program with top marks. But alas, there was not, and so Lem had to make it through this Humanities degree instead.

“I gotta go with my man Shakespeare, I think,” Lem answered after a moment’s consideration. “He’s got a good lineup of characters, historical and otherwise, and he does that whole... dichotomy thing really well... and foils... you know...” He’d started off sort of sounding like he knew what he was talking about, and then... not so much towards the end there... Seemed about right in terms of his usual academic work. He was clearly not used to doing things so early- he hardly had any ideas formed at all. He laughed a little nervously as he slid into the ideal booth, near the back where it was quiet enough to work. 

“We’ll see what kind of progress I can make, I don’t have anything nailed down yet... How do you do it?” He was honestly curious, as he’d never been the greatest student, while to Bertram it seemed kind of effortless...

[willemdriscoll]

📨 MONA >> LEMMY

(5.05 PM) MONA💋: are we though?

(5.05 PM) MONA💋: are we rlly?

(5.06 PM) MONA💋: i will stay out of it tho. i don't want you or heath to be mad @me.

(5.06 PM) MONA💋: just bring good weed and a couple beers. that'd make me happy.

(5.07 PM) 🌈LEM: shhh don't let the real adults hear u

(5.07 PM) 🌈LEM: u got it boo ;)

(5.08 PM) 🌈LEM: see u in a bit