Jude @willemlispenard - Tumblr Blog

Oftentimes, after the accident, Jude would lay awake at night. He close his eyes, cradling Willem’s sweater in his arms and he would think of his old life, their lives together. He would remember the small things; Willem taking Jude’s hands in his own, rubbing them for warmth; falling asleep in Willem’s embrace, kissing him goodbye before heading to work, Willem’s voice (still groggy from his slumber) calling out to him; “Don’t forget to eat something”

Those simple things that Jude had taken for granted. Simple, day-to-day things that he didn’t even know were so ingrained into his system, such an integral part of his daily routine.

It would be the small mundane things that he would come to miss the most.

#judewillem #jude st francis #willem ragnarsson #a little life #hanya yanagihara

#judewillem #jude st francis #willem ragnarsson #a little life #dear comrade #hanya yanagihara

It’s his scent, sandalwood and something indescribably yet undeniably him.

It’s the way his eyes would light up whenever Jude would speak; a mixture of amusement and genuine interest in whatever he is about to say. It’s his smile, one that lit up his entire face.

It’s his confidence. The way he carried and presented himself; he was so very comfortable with who he was without being arrogant about it. He was so extremely sincere. Whatever he did, he did with integrity.

It’s his compassion, the genuine love and warmth that he put out into the world. It’s his kindness, his unconditional kindness—even to people who did not deserve it at times. His loyalty to whomever he held dear.

But before anything else, it’s that he learned him to love again, to trust someone, to open up to them. He showed him kindness and in the moments Jude wanted to push him away, to make him leave just like anyone else had, Willem just held him tighter.

How he misses him. How he wishes he could have held Willem the way he had held him. How he curses the truck driver. How he curses the rental car for its faulty airbags. How he wishes it had been him instead of Willem. Anyone else but him.

Anyone else but Willem

#jude st francis #willem ragnarsson #judewillem #hanya yanagihara #a little life #dear comrade

i’m deleting my entire hotgomery AU this is embarrassing