Willy-jakes Shakesly

Born in 1994. They/them.

[fatmasc]

Sometimes ur fat bc u were born that way. Ur parents are fat, ur cousins are fat, u always have been fat.

And sometimes, you become fat. Something happened (puberty, change in diet, change in ability, anything) and someone who was once skinny is now fat. This doesnt make you a failure. It just means ur fat now. Its okay. You didnt do something wrong.

No matter how you are fat, its okay to be fat

[afoxnamedmulder]

I need to get everyone on the booktok erotica gingerbread man shapeshifter like they've gotten on the plastic destroying crow boy

[afoxnamedmulder]

ok so the gingerbread man shapeshifter lore as depicted in erotica novella Bite Me: A Gingerbread Shifter Story by Ariel Dawn:

gingerbread shapeshifting is a hereditary male-only curse

you shapeshift into a giant gingerbread man during Big Emotions (and also over Christmas I think?)

it kicks in during puberty

to defeat the curse you must transform in front of someone you love and have them accept you for who you are (big sentient gingerbread man)

gingerbread shapeshifters live in fear that this opens themselves up to their loved one running away screaming in fear or alternatively, y'know, eating the giant gingerbread man who suddenly appears before them

this needs to happen before your 30s (roughly) otherwise you remain in gingerbread man shape permanently

and then you get shipped off to the Black Forest to defend said forest and be constantly hunted down by people trying to steal gingerbread magic

the Black Forest is also where gingerbread shifters originate from btw

if you're a woman in this family line, you don't shapeshift but you also need to find a mate by a deadline

you can do this by just giving someone a cookie you've baked yourself

also this

[elamarth-calmagol]

WHAT

[softscales]

What's your favorite ffxiv boss earworm tagline?

It can be from a dungeon, raid, trial, doesn't matter.

I know I won't remember them all but I looove:

"Filthy Rats!" "Slopeeh!" "I'll erase you." "Begone." "Shine brilliant for me!" "I am the emissary, and I shall never die."

Please tell me your faves! I must know

[shittyjakeenglish]

jake in saw 2004 bathroom

Day 729

a nice place to spend some time

[shittyjakeenglish]

Make her eat the most disgusting meal ever. Thank you

Day 730

nonono see theres nothing gross here its just a delicious sandwich and shes so happy to eat it and everythings fine

[shittyjakeenglish]

Day 731

HAPPY TWO YEARS OF SHITTYJAKEENGLISH!!!!!! thank you all!

this has been in the faq a while but it feels as good a time as any to formally announce that shittyjake will end at day 1000. less than 300 days left!

[shittyjakeenglish]

jane and jake… transgender 5ever?

Day 732

hell yeah!

[shittyjakeenglish]

Day 734

world is hers!

[shittyjakeenglish]

Roxy doing Jake's makeup?

Day 733

and she did such a good job! what a beauty!

[shittyjakeenglish]

Alpha kids with matching nails…

Day 735

stylish!

[shittyjakeenglish]

Let Her Be As Snug As Bug In A Rug 4 The Holiday Season

Day 736

catlike shenanigans

[shittyjakeenglish]

Her as a cherub... fun skeleton lizard :3

Day 738

cherub-ify!

[shittyjakeenglish]

Day 721

shes dishes?

[shittyjakeenglish]

Give him a fancy dinner

Day 722

its all juice and soda dw

[shittyjakeenglish]

new reader here: is jake a trans girl for any particular reason or did u just make her one for the love of the game?

(NO hate intended i think it's cool but i like reasons 4 stuff)

Day 723

why thank you for asking anon! trans girl jake meta under cut

jake is Aggressively transfem coded. her arc centres around being forced into roles she cant fill, most obviously in her status as an "adventurer". with the love quadrangle and with aranea, she gets stripped of agency in order to serve someone elses desires. and jake Knows this, she is so much more self-aware than people often give her credit for. she Knows something is wrong. but she actively ignores it, instead continuing to try mould herself into what shes expected to be

(note how in that first quote shes still asking if she Should. its never about her own desire, shes desperate to just be Told what to be)

but she Always fails in the end, things fall apart for her because no matter how hard she denies herself she Cannot fully destroy her own wants and desires and Personhood. BUT BY JOVE SHE KEEPS TRYING

also and i cannot stress this enough, jake english literally says out loud "I DONT WANNA BE A MAN"

from a more meta perspective, jake is written to be an archetypical Strong Female Character who is in reality just a generic love interest. this post -> (https://gendertrickster.tumblr.com/post/749068894267932672/perfect-score-no-notes) explains it really well. in the same way that every homestuck character is at least mildly aware theyre in a story, jake KNOWS how shes described and how she really is dont match up. but these are the foundations of her identity, she doesnt know who she is without them! the poor fool keeps thinking she can make it true with sheer force of will, when what she Really needs is oestrogen :[

[shittyjakeenglish]

have you ever drawn troll jake before?

Day 724

i have actually but that was 651 days ago

[shittyjakeenglish]

my birthday is on oct 6th, could i get a happy birthday from lara :)

Day 725

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! everyone go wish tumblr user artificialdeity happy birthday 🫵