Discourse about the blood scene aside, the real trouble with the Goncharov television edit is that they decided most of the watch/clock scenes were expendable filler to get it into the time slot or cut out for commercials, which really kind of kills the slow build up to the eventual payoff on the themes about mortality.
Like it still technically makes sense because everyone obviously knows mortality is a thing, but it doesn't have room to breathe. You lose the nebulous, ever-building sense of dread from the actual ticking of the clocks, and the tension rising as the audience knows it's all going somewhere, and yet much like the characters overlook the obvious answer that the "somewhere" is just death, until oh yeah. That's where it was going, and sooner or later that's where we're all going.
It also makes the few times they keep the clocks in just kind of random.
Like I get that for some people it's the only version of Goncharov they know so it's the one they want, and I don't disapprove of internet archive having that version, but even though it's shorter I really wouldn't recommend it for someone's first watch of the film. If you have trouble with the runtime of the director's cut, go for the original theatrical release instead.
Like. For people who grew up on the original theatrical release, it’s worse.
It’s not just the clocks ticking as a sign of the impending mortality, the slow build to the end, the utter inevitability of it. Death was coming. It couldn’t be stopped, not by Katya, not by anyone.
But CUTTING the clocks, the jarring juxtaposition of the end that is rushing ever closer, with every last commercial and break, and the silence that comes with the end.
I don’t know, it feels more tragic, to me. And especially with the event of the ability to pause and record, to hold on for just a little longer. Extend the silence, extend the life; hold on for one more minute.
Now that I've finally put up some instructions for the Traveling Stitch/False Decrease, maybe I can also post about some of the things I've been doing with it.
One category I've been exploring is lace, because I always seem to revert to lace. Knitted lace often has lines of decreases, which distort the vertical columns of stitches into emphasized diagonals. Here is a small swatch of a lace diamond pattern, fairly bog-standard except for the cable crosses at the points of the diamonds. The top half of each diamond shape is framed by its decrease lines, while the bottom half grows vertically out of the YO increases.
By using some False Decreases, it's possible to add diagonal framing lines to the lower edges of the diamonds as well. Now they look more symmetrical, and have a nice kind of crispy-edges effect.
Here are charts for both stitch patterns:
They are identical except for the False Decreases. The outlined diamonds end up looking a bit smaller, because the area of stockinette stitch gets more covered up by the diagonals.
Monogamous culture has a hand in bi erasure and exclusion, btw. We all know that you can only experience attraction to your current snd singular partner, and your whole identity is shaped by this.
Like way back when I came out as also being attracted to women, I literally got told, oh but it doesn't really matter anyway since you're already married to a man haha. Aside from the fact that I've been in a relationship with a man and a woman at the same time, even if I were monogamous, it's not like internal experiences of bi/pan/queerness and attraction just. Vaporize when you're in a relationship. I can't believe I have to spell out the idea behind "married, not buried" but y'all.
I love an AU where Ilya seduces Shane away from an asshole boyfriend and I really want one where the boyfriend suggests opening the relationship and that's how Shane and Ilya first start fucking.
If they are still hockey players then the boyfriend is someone unaffiliated with hockey and Shane has been dating him probably since before he met Ilya.
Boyfriend is out and Shane is not (for obvious reasons) and while this doesn't necessarily make for an unhealthy relationship Boyfriend is, as established, an asshole. He's not shy about reminding Shane of how lucky he is that he puts up with the secrecy and how impossible it would be for Shane to find someone else in his situation.
They've also been together since they were teenagers so Boyfriend is the only guy Shane has ever been with and the only one who knows Shane is gay, which also means that Shane has no one to talk to about any misgivings he might have about the relationship.
The story is the same as in canon from Ilya's perspective until the CCM commercial when he hits on Shane in the shower and Shane, visibly into Ilya and fighting with himself internally, tells him he can't because he has a boyfriend. Then he panics about what he just told Ilya but Ilya promises not to tell anyone - they have the same secret, after all. Sure he's disappointed but he can always find other people to fuck (that hollow feeling in his chest feels like a lot more than just disappointment but Ilya ignores that).
Every time Shane and Ilya catch a moment alone over the next couple of years, Ilya asks Shane if he's still with the boyfriend and the answer is always yes. Around the third time, Shane is feeling vulnerable because they just had a fight the week before and Boyfriend has been ignoring him and he doesn't have anyone to talk to about how awful he feels, and he just kind of. Starts telling Ilya about it.
And Ilya listens and then tells Shane, "He sounds like an asshole."
Shane feels conflicted about this comment because on the one hand, it kind of confirms what he's been thinking, but on the other Ilya doesn't actually know Boyfriend and all he has is information from a very biased source.
"He's not," Shane finally says. "We just got into an argument. Couples fight."
Ilya wants very much to disagree, because Hollander sounds fucking miserable talking about this guy, but he wisely concludes that this would just make Shane dig his heels in further and refrains.
Despite Shane's protests, every time Ilya asks him about his boyfriend after that he looks more tired. This guy also clearly makes him insecure as hell and Ilya hates seeing the effect he has, making Shane fucking Hollander carry himself like he's two inches tall and trying to disappear.
Ilya is itching to tell Shane to dump Boyfriend, to find someone who'll treat him like he deserves. Whenever he indirectly broaches the topic though, Shane gets defensive, and Ilya doesn't want to push it because as much as he'd like to get Shane away from this guy (and into his own bed) he also doesn't want Shane to shut him out and isolate himself even further.
Then comes the day when Shane actually approaches Ilya first. He looks nervous but determined and at first, Ilya thinks this is it. He finally remembered that he's Shane fucking Hollander and kicked that guy to the curb.
What Shane tells him isn't quite that. Ilya still perks up, because he cannot believe that Boyfriend, this absolute piece of shit moron, suggested opening the relationship and delivered Shane to Ilya on a silver platter.
Because Shane's first instinct, upon getting permission to fuck other people, was to seek Ilya out. He looks cautious but hopeful when he asks if Ilya's still interested in hooking up, like the answer isn't obviously yes.
Yes, Ilya's still interested. But not just in hooking up. Not in being the side piece.
He's gonna seduce Shane right from underneath Boyfriend's stupid, ugly nose and treat him with the reverence and care he actually deserves.
another teacher grace moment i love is when rocky gives him the oxygen model he goes 'i dont have one of these thank you!' like that is THE most teacher response ever when a child gives them something utterly incomprehensible but made with love
i appreciate everyone on that post pointing out that being bad at computers doesn't mean you're stupid but unfortunately this is a coworker who won't stop feeding their dog york peppermint patties
the funniest part is that i agree in principle that all kinds of intelligence have value and dysfunctional processes are born of dysfunctional systems, but in practice i work with scabsy the papillon poisoner, who once tried to tank a union contract with universal $3 hourly raises because they were mad at Me Specifically for not backing them up when they said juneteenth shouldn't be a paid holiday
you may think you know why they were opposed to juneteenth as a paid holiday. but none of the other racists in the union or management had a problem with it, because saying no to a paid day off for literally any reason is fool behavior.
scabsy, however, has a specific monthly process that's due on the 19th of every month. so having a holiday on the 19th of june fucks with their due date. you might ask, wouldn't this also apply to every 19th that falls on a weekend? and you would be right. the other union members also pointed this out. and pointed out the many, many holidays that fuck with the timing on their jobs. including me, the person who regularly loses two days off a four day process for holidays i don't actually celebrate.
so while scabsy is racist, that is not why they spent an hour at my desk the next day berating me for being mean and not a team player before realizing i did not give a shit about them and switching tactics to telling management that the union was asking for too much and they should vote down the contract
#i had to call up our union rep like. hey. i don't know what the fuck to call this. but i feel like i should report it??#and the old-school ring-of-keys butch that was our rep at the time took like ten minutes to process what i was telling her#and when she did she was SO angry. she was like. i have literally never heard of a union member doing this. what the fuck.#this is when i started calling them scabsy when relating stories to internet friends#there are so many stories#their dog is named after a cardinal virtue because their spouse wouldn't let them give their child a puritan name#they do math on a print calculator and enter numbers off the receipt into excel#they once got into a longer checkout line at walmart to avoid a cashier they thought sounded gay (he was southern)#they call the dealership while at work to lease a new ford truck every 18 months#they are a landlord estranged from their liberal parents because they refused to get vaccinated#they are in at least five pyramid schemes that i am aware of
𓍊𓋼𓍊 My piece for "Together from Afar: a How to Train Your Dragon" tribute exhibition at Gallery Nucleus! The show runs from April 11-26 and opens tonight from 5-8pm (free + no RSVP needed) 𓍊𓋼𓍊
I love Astrid and Stormfly, so I was really honored and excited to get to draw them🙇 John Powell was on full blast the entire time 🙇🙇🙇
Grace and Rocky, giving a tour of the Hail Mary to fascinated Eridian scientists and diplomats.
Pointing at things and explaining what they are and how the ship works, lots of awed and appreciative noises are made.
Until one of the visiting Eridians points out a specific item. “And that?”
It’s a strange, circular thing, a xenonite disk mounted upright on some sort of pivot so it can spin freely, but around the edges it has… spokes? Pegs? Sticking out of it, that hit against a stiff flap that would slow down the spinning.
It is also separated into sections decorated with crude etchings of a human and an Eridian.
“Ah,” Grace says.
“That,” Rocky says.
“That’s. Um.” Grace seems somewhat embarrassed. “That’s the sacrifice wheel.”
The Eridian visitors clearly do not know what to make of that. “We think we misunderstood Savior Grace’s word,” they say, apparently hoping this is a vocabulary mix-up. “Explain (question, polite)?”
“Didn’t misunderstand,” says Rocky, sounding very sheepish. “That is sacrifice wheel.”
“So. While we were on our way to Erid, we might have gotten… anxious about each other’s well-being,” Grace says, which everyone is already very aware is a wild understatement. “And, well, you heard what happened at Tau Ceti, and after. There were a lot of unexpected dangers for the whole trip that required a lot of, at least, attempted self-sacrifice to solve. We ended up almost dying for each other several times. And we had an argument about what we’d do if another crisis like that came up. And we couldn't agree.”
“Grace argued that Grace already was unlikely to survive long-term on Erid, so he should be the one to do any potential deadly but necessary maneuvers to make sure I was able to bring taumoeba back,” Rocky says.
“Which made sense.”
“Did not make sense! Grace already sacrificed so much for me and for Erid, wouldn’t be fair to make you do it again—“ Rocky cuts himself off with a huff. They have obviously had this conversation before. “So sacrifice wheel was compromise.”
“Yeah,” Grace says. He spins it to demonstrate; it whirls around in a blur and a rattle of the flap hitting the pegs, then eventually slows down, and stops—pointing at the segment depicting a very bad but very clear image of an Eridian. “Rocky made the wheel, I spin the wheel, and whoever it lands on, that’s who gets to sacrifice themself to save the other and the other person does not get to argue. This way, we wouldn’t waste time debating who does the self-sacrifice and who survives, it’s just a plain fifty-fifty chance. Or, eighteen-eighteen chance in base six. But the point is it could be either of us and we would have to accept the outcome.”
Rocky started fidgeting while Grace was explaining. When Grace finishes, proud of the equitable solution they came up with to allow them to die for each other fairly, Rocky says, “Now that we are back and we don’t need sacrifice wheel anymore… I have confession to make. About the wheel.”
“What about the wheel?”
Rocky doesn’t answer. Grace frowns, first confused, then suspicious, and spins the wheel again.
It lands on Rocky again.
He spins the wheel again, and again, and again, and it lands on Rocky every single time.
“Rocky!”
“I weighted the wheel,” Rocky admits.
“Rocky the whole point was that it was equal, that was why we even made it—“
“Never was necessary so doesn’t matter anymore!”
“But you WOULD have!”
“And you never noticed because you were hungry and cranky and distracted and so would have done bad job on heroic self-sacrifice anyway!”
“I would not! I would have done fine!”
(The Eridian scientists and diplomats are still here watching this btw. Slowly dawning on them that 1) these two are extremely not normal about each other 2) if Erid ever does another space mission they NEED to send a therapist aboard because this is what happens when they don’t)
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