no, i understand the only way out is through, i know this and i am very familiar with the concept and i have forced myself through and through and through and through, like an arrow to an apple; like a bird to the air. i push myself through mesh and sieve and stormdrain.
i am saying this thing is like stone to me. i am saying i have taken a pickaxe and a plow and a chisel and a spoon to it and i have made no dent or scratch in the surface. i have pushed and pushed, sisyphus beside me, and still my skin gave before the stone could.
i am telling you if there is a passage i do not see or some kind of clever way to thwart this enemy i'll take it. i've been up down and sideways of it, i've whispered to it and cajoled it and sang to it. i have tended to it like a kitten and i've kicked it to the curb. i have exhausted all available avenues and approaches as are available to me. i'll do whatever stupid fetch quest or answer the riddles three. i am standing here and every part of my body hurts and the stone is unmoved. please. if you know how to resolve this, i'm begging you.
Daenerys Stormborn is the greatest Targaryen of all time. There is no comparison. She can't be compared to her ancestors when the whole purpose of her character is to be better than her ancestors.
did you know they say calculus is the language of God. did you know they tried to hold math up to infinity like a candle to the void. did you know statisticians plunged into the vastness of random chance and picked out patterns and equations and eight hundred ways to tell you how big your inevitable errors are and how far off those guesses at errors might be. math haters I can't sit with you anymore. human innovation is cradled in these ancient, methodical, desperate attempts at understanding what we are not designed to understand
Im not on tiktok and never have been, but I downloaded RedNote just to see what is up, and I am witnessing something truly amazing
The Chinese user community is giving the American tiktok refugees an overwhelmingly warm welcome, meanwhile the American users seem to have collectively agreed that not only will they not let the app be taken over with English and they will provide Mandarin subtitles for everything, they are LEARNING MANDARIN. Ive scrolled through so many videos of Americans offering greetings in Mandarin to try to acclimate to the new environment and be respectful, and speakers of both languages are posting lots of tutorials on language basics and internet slang in Mandarin
My God, there is an AMAZING outpouring of curiosity and delight among everyone to learn about each others cultures and daily lives. People are posting videos of landscapes, cities, towns, and natural areas in USA and China, posting recipes and traditional foods, vlogs of everyday life, and reaching out to find people with similar hobbies.
And it's not just young people! There are loads of videos from middle-aged American guys who have come to post about fishing or motorcycles and are now happily chatting with Chinese users sharing the same interests using Google translate
One American guy who was like. in his 60's had a comment on one of his videos that was like "Red Neck?" and he replied "Yes!" and I just about fucking lost it
Also the Chinese users love, and I mean LOVE, Luigi Mangione. He is apparently broadly adored in China. There is SO much fanart and SO many edits.
There are many threads initiating Chinese users to ask questions of American users about the USA, and vice versa, and everyone on both sides is clearing up a lot of misconceptions. Some of the questions I saw a lot from Chinese users were: "Is it true that American parents kick you out of the house as soon as you turn 18" (not often, but sometimes) "Do you all really wear shoes in bed" (NO!!! Apparently a lot of characters in American sitcoms are shown lying in bed with shoes on which I never noticed before!) and "are there really guns everywhere" (yes).
For the most part Chinese content creators seem just overwhelmed by the sudden influx of hundreds of followers that are super enthusiastic about what they're doing. A lot of them have made posts about how initially they thought the uptick in follower count was some kind of error, or that there was some kind of joke or prank, but then they realized the interest and enthusiasm was genuine and now they're welcoming all the newcomers.
I found several posts by Chinese users saying that this felt like a really profound historical moment, where these previously separated worlds are suddenly smashing together and suddenly there is freedom to learn about each other's cultures and connect. One of them said something along the lines of "This is a 21st century Tower of Babel and even though I'm an atheist I hope God lets this tower stand." OUGH MY HEART.
The app itself works a little bit like a video-based version of Pinterest. It's not really my thing so I probably won't be on there long term but it's been amazing to see what's happening.
Sometimes I see some variety of North American Little Guy (opossum, raccoon, etc. ) and Iâm like âokayâ
BUT THEN I start thinking about how excited somebody from not-North-America would be to see this Guy. Like, would an Australian be excited to see the only marsupial not from their country? Are there raccoons in zoos on the other side of the world that are regarded as unique and exotic creatures? Idk but itâs made me more excited to see Guys in my area.
Iâve seen a lot of posts on my dash tonight about users who are threatening suicide, with other Tumblr members posting in effort to try to get ahold of them. I think you all should see this:
IF THERE IS EVER A TUMBLR USER WHO HAS POSTED A GOOD-BYE MESSAGE, SUICIDE NOTE, VIDEO, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT, PLEASE FOLLOW THIS POST.
1. Scroll to the top of your dashboard.
2. See the circular question mark icon at the top? Itâs the third one over from your home symbol. Click on that, and a screen similar to the one in the picture will come up.
3. Where you can type in questions, the box with the magnifying glass at the top, type in the word âsuicide.â
4. Click on the first link that shows up. It should say, âPass the URL of the blog on to us.â
5. Type in the userâs URL and tell Tumblr admin that the user is contemplating suicide and has posted a message indicating that they are going through with it or will be attempting. Hit send! Tumblr administration will perform a number of actions to contact the user and take the necessary steps to prevent the suicide.
TUMBLR: THIS COULD SAVE A USERâS LIFE. PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE SUICIDE THREATS.
Reblog this to keep other users aware. Suicide isnât a joke, and neither is someoneâs life. If you didnât know this, someone else may not, either. Pass it on.
You know I donât really see how Rucas fans can say that Lucas never liked Maya, that he only liked Maya because she turned into Riley, blah blah blahđ.
In season 1, Girl Meets First Date, Lucas and Farkle are talking and Lucas mentions going out with Maya⌠Honestly, if he wasnât interested in her any way whatsoever, why would he even bring up dating her? Why bring Maya up as an option at all, if heâs only interested in dating Riley?
Theyâre also making a point of showing us who he is referring to by having Lucas call Maya, âother oneââŚ
Then right after insinuating about dating Maya:
and that right there is the real âlong gameâ people!
I donât think Iâll ever not be annoyed at how girl meets world treated Maya. Welcome to my rant on why Maya Penelope Hart (Hunter) deserved so much more.
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(Also, let me just say, I work in this industry and I do get that you canât have the best friend eclipse the main character but they were such equals it could have been let by. My girl was done dirty. )
(Ps all the gifs are from tumblrâs collection, all credit goes to their original makers)
The whole âMaya turning into Rileyâ thing was absolute BS. Thatâs what Iâm most mad at.
Riley and all the Matthews said for years all they wanted for Maya was to be happy and have hope and motivation to achieve her potential.
But the second sheâs doing that, and isnât the sad lonely best friend who they can use to all feel better about themselves by pittying?
Sheâs supposedly morphed into Riley.
Sheâs a teenage girl sheâs not meant to know who she is. Lifeâs changing. Sheâs changing.
What did Riley represent? Hope. Happiness. Things people just werenât used to seeing in Maya.
Girl meets upstate was all about how the day Shawn bought Maya all her new clothes she somehow changed.
Iâm sorry?!?!
Did we just all forget how happy she was? How Cory told her in class the hope on her face is what looks so good? How she truly learned what hope was? How she finally got her dream come true with Shawn and her Mom? I mean look at her face. Pure joy. Sheâd been through a lifetime of pain and anger and heartbreak and awful circumstances.
And then, remember when she went to high school and got her first A? How happy she was to have it so proudly up on the Matthewâs fridge? When she found out all her past failings didnât count and this track could get her to a college - a way out of the life she had lived?
For them to destroy that in her, to force her back into the depressed, lonely shell of who she used to be, which not only obliterated her confidence but probably ruined her future prospects as well all because they had to cater to Rileyâs perfect little world that sheâs at the centre of? Maya deserved more.
I mean Riley pretty much told Maya she canât possibly like a nice boy as she is because sheâs got too miserable if an existence. Riley obviously hasnât come across â¨daddy issuesâ¨yet.
OBVIOUSLY she wants a nice boy. Her dad was a âbad boyâ, and he was the first man to break her poor tiny heart.
Then thereâs Lucas. Girl meets ski lodge was so unbelievably disappointing.
Not to mention the gross Josh thing. Dude was in college, she was 15. Really Disney?! How can there be just under three years between them when heâs in college and she was in middle school. It was so freaking gross.
Also josh with all his wisdom and observations about this being some subconscious scheme to protect Riley - acting like he knows Maya and Lucas better than anyone else, even themselves. He saw them interacting like twice? And Maya is the queen of masking what she really feels when it comes to being legitimately vulnerable.
I truly fully believe that in gm upstate Lucas had picked Maya. Thereâs no other way that episode makes sense to me. I saw a tumblr post that said watch it twice - once thinking he picks Riley and the other with Maya, and only Maya makes sense - and theyâre right. But I think Lucas knew that Rileyâs emotional immaturity meant that if they wanted to keep the friend group together, there was no other choice. Maya is used to heartbreak, she could handle it and Riley couldnât. Thatâs why Iâm sure she pushed him to Riley. They had this moment (captured below) where they both just resigned themselves to a fate of longing for the other but never having it.
But he asked her why she dumped the smoothie on his head. What was she going to say, âbecause with her you might have to be some Mr Perfect all the time but with me you only have to be your messy, imperfect self and you tried to recycle the same thing you told Riley on me so I humbled you back downâ while Riley was sat right there?!
Rileyâs reaction when she found out about Lucasâ past in texas shows how she truly only loved the fantasy of him. She wanted Cory and topanga and to be honest anyone could fill that role as long as she was the other one in it. But she couldnât just accept that there was something that made him not perfect. That the world wasnât just black and white.
Maya letâs him be himself. She has no expectations of him. She understands everyone has flaws and accepts him for his.
Plus the way he predicts her moves, catching her before she tries to chase farkle or the hand thing in science class. You know when you know someone so well itâs like theyâre a part of you? Yeah, they know it too.
They can be imperfect together, and they both felt that ease and comfort. I honest think thatâs why he lets her call him so many names. Itâs their own affection. Others donât have to get it for them to feel it. Itâs a familiarity - a fondness.
Not to mention him calling Zay back home and calling her the blonde beauty.
Maya constantly gave up her own happiness for Riley, and I truly wish she didnât, because Riley wouldnât do the same for her.
Donât get me wrong, I think Riley thinks she would, but she hasnât got enough experience of the world to know what that commitment means. Maybe the protect Riley committee was actually harming her in that way. She was shielded too much.
To reduce Maya as a human being who was growing up, who was a normal teenager who was unsure of her identity and self worth, and boil it down to the claim she canât be happy, or work hard, or be smart, or hopeful unless sheâs copying Riley is so selfish. She deserves that growth too. She deserves that happiness. And thatâs one of the many reasons that even when I love them as a pair, their friendship could get really toxic when she went too âfull on Rileyâ.
It literally demeaned mayas entire humanity, so of course she backed down without telling Lucas how she really felt. She felt broken. She felt lost.
I think she wanted him to fight for her in gm upstate, not that sheâd ever say that out loud. He was so passionate when Maya nearly lost art class, I think all sheâd want is for him to stand up to absolutely everyone else in her life and say that sheâs allowed to be both Maya and happy. He looked gutted when she said he picked Riley either way.
The people she was meant to love and trust took it too far and forced her to undo everything she works for and was happy because of. And waiting for her volcano eruption:
I mean Riley really genuinely thought that Maya would steal from her moms work place?! After every money trouble Katy and Maya went through, Riley really disrespected Maya THAT much?!?
She was told by everyone around her she couldnât be Maya and be happy, so she pushed away the one guy whoâs always met her toe to toe, always challenged her, always defended her and fought for her, always understood her.
It broke her heart. But it wasnât Lucas who really broke her heart, it was Riley. For never letting go of the fantasy. And also, if farkle cared about Maya as much as he did Riley he wouldnât have said anything on NYE. Maya deserves happiness, but theyâre all so used to seeing her unhappy they think itâs normal and okay to keep her that way so they can grow around her and use her as a spring board for their personality growth.
The fake stories both girls told of what the future would look like for each of them wasnât what Maya was really thinking. Because Maya feels safe in very very few places, and his arms is one of those. She wouldnât ârather argue with him than save the worldâ with him, sheâd just hide all her fear and vulnerability until she was alone.
And I donât believe Riley or the matthews was a safe space for her anymore - because they took her and shaped her and let her flourish - and then intentionally crushed her. I think itâs a good thing she had her mom and Shawn more after that. Because the matthews didnât want two âidentical daughtersâ, so they made an already impressionable Maya back into the sad girl they used to feed.
Iâm so mad on mayas behalf. I know sheâs not real but I think, as one of the kinds of people who always constantly lets my happiness be trodden on and broken down so those I love can be happy, Iâm finally seeing how much the world could offer if for once people like Maya and I let our happiness matter just as much as other peoples.
Like a best friend like Riley who canât handle the idea that something not be perfect. The world had to revolve around Riley, but sometimes being the best friend in everyone elseâs main character story sucks.
Maya lost her happiness and her hope and her motivation to be the best version of herself all because Riley was selfish and kinda toxic, and everyone else went along with it. Riley had to be the centre of everyoneâs world, she couldnât possibly imagine anyone else being happy. This isnât even just about how we were so robbed of Lucaya, the whole girl meets upstate ep spent the entire episode disparaging and undoing one of the most beautiful episodes of giving a girl who had been through the mill some actual hope. Gm hurricane was when Maya learned that life could be beautiful. Gm upstate taught her that it was all a fever dream and she canât have good things. She canât have aspirations, or a popular sense of fashion, or hope, or happiness.
And I hate that. So much.
Maya Penelope Hart (Hunter) deserved so much better than season 3 gave her.
we were outside and the street was wet and the sign was flickering. i wanted to be barefoot but knew it would be weird so instead i just sort of hovered around you while you smoked and the awnings dripped. it was dark here, the blue darkness of a night that youâre not supposed to be out in, a night that refuses you. not a warm one but our knees were uncovered.
you play with your lighter. we stand under the lamppost. in three months weâll be going different places as fast as our legs can take us. right now, the summer is too young to have a name. so we stand there. iâm in love with you and i have been since middle school math class.
âdoesnât it bother you,â you ask, and the neon sign flickers, âthat your dad says shit like that?â
i put my back against the wet lamppost. you play with your lighter. âdoes anybody feel good about their dad?â i ask.
you snort. then weâre silent.Â
once when i was twelve my father threw a plate on the ground and later when he retold the story, he said that i had done it. or that iâd made him. i donât remember exactly how he lied about it, only that he did, and that it was the moment iâd sort of recognized that he was 50 percent of me as a person and that was fucking terrifying.
the neon sign flickers. you play with the lighter and pass it over your fingertips. and then you say, âthereâs a thin layer of molecules that stops me from being burned by this.â
okay. i watch you do it, even though i know i should be stopping you about it. itâs not the kind of night for stopping things. itâs the kind of night when weâre both the bad kind of quiet.
you unfold your free palm and hold it inches above the flame. âthe further i get, the less it hurts,â you say.Â
you donât look up. you put your lighter in your pocket. we walk in the mist which is the resting state of rain. i feel like weâre too close to an emotion to speak of it, but i know what youâre saying.Â
âdonât grow a molecule coat too thick you canât feel warmth,â i say. âdonât go too far away.â Â
you snort again. âtoo late.â
i look up. i canât see the moon. i think of your lighter and the hand i want to hold and how both of us are running before the cement in the ground can take us. i think of how we are both playing with any lighter we find, balancing between the thin layer of dna and personality, of destiny and fate.
âitâs okay,â i say, âwho needs fathers anyway.â