Willow (She/Her) @willowtreetherapy - Tumblr Blog

So. A little explanation. I am using this blog as a way to help me work through some things. It's not really meant to be seen by anyone, I just need somewhere to speak my thoughts into the world.

If you stumble across this account you're welcome to stay, but this is just for me. A personal journal on the internet for me to document my process, feelings, and thoughts.

I don’t… think I’m capable of being loved, specially romantically. Like yeah I’ve got friends who care about me and that’s great but it’s not what I’m talking about.

I mean that I will NEVER go on a date. Who tf would want to date me. I’m trans, busy, ugly, and all together don’t have much going for me. I’ll probably die alone as friends find partners and leave me. Why don’t I just cut it off now. People would probably be happier that way

rhythmic-idealist

Just so people know, epilepsy warnings aren’t about, like, purity culture, or online leftists acting as if disabled people are real. It’s about my mom

rhythmic-idealist

We human beings have discovered patterns of light and/or sound that kill some people and we should probably not have hissy fits about your right to fire a weapon at my mom. Like if you could put some text onscreen explaining the upcoming seizure-inducing patterns so that people can scroll away. That’s super fucking easy. i AM sorry that something as mindless as a tiktok edit could kill someone but hey, so could driving to work every morning, we all treat THAT accordingly (long, pointed stare. because yes we had better be treating that accordingly too)

The casual abundance of Thing That Kills People doesn’t mean you shouldn’t avoid killing people

rhythmic-idealist

#all media should have epilepsy warnings like all food should have allergy warnings#and if you disagree then I'll kick your ass

via @angst-and-fajitas

I believe I am a fundamentally unlovable person.

Like I have zero good qualities, and the world would be better off if I wasn’t here anymore

Am I a terrible person, yes. Do I care, also yes, very very much so I’m sorry :(

God I feel so sick. Like yeah the lack of sleep isn’t helping but like holy shit there’s this big pit in my stomach. I miss my friends but I feel fucking terrible for it. I shouldn’t miss them, I should just be happy for them. I mean they get to go on vacations, ones they’ve been waiting years for and that is exciting. But I can’t help but miss them, and that feels terrible. Like I shouldn’t want them to come back, that’s mean and selfish. I don’t want them to come back yet, they deserve to have fun. But I also can’t wait for the day they’re back and I can give them a big hug. And I feel so selfish

Hate that I feel like I’m fucked up and evil for…. Missing my friends while they’re on vacation. Like girl you’re allowed to miss your friends and be sad that you can’t talk to them as much for a couple weeks

rose-coloured-boy

why is garlic so good at sticking to you. i barely touched you, stop being on my hands forever.

mrsattila

You are made of meat and being seasoned! 😊

I’m tired. So so tired.

The thing about being trans is that there are only 2 kinds of people interested in you romantically. People who don’t care, and chasers. But chasers outweigh everyone else by a lot. Like… no I don’t want to talk to you, you’re 40 and your bio is entirely just misogyny. But you think that I’ll be desperate enough not to care.

And the people who don’t care about you being trans are so few and far between. Lots of people are nice to trans people but only a fraction of them would even consider dating us

There is always t4t. But genuinely I think I know 3 other trans people total who aren’t in relationships

dad-fucker666

gifts the trans person in your life will appreciate

Large amounts of cash

large amounts of cash

pipeline punch monster

Okay so I have these friends, they mean a lot to me and I care about them a lot.

We’re currently working our local fringe festival and we don’t get to see each other that much.

The thing is, They’re both going on vacation pretty soon after the festival ends, leaving me to kinda just be here, rotting a bit. I’m very happy for them, they both just graduated and deserve to have good trips.

But we won’t have much time after they get back to hang out. I’ll be starting work on a show and starting my last year of university, taking up a little of my time. They’ll have jobs, I’ll be busy. We might be able to squeeze in one or two little hang outs but I’m scared. I’m scared that if I’m not actively around I will get forgotten again. They’ll find new people, stop talking to me, forget about me. Who knows if they’ll eve cheer for me at graduation. If they even come

Wondering if I’ll ever be good enough today

briarhide

In light of some of the many things happening across the world this year, I thought this Pride Month needed a special illustration.

Happy Pride Month, may we all stay safe, look after each other, and keep painting our rainbows, no matter what. 🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

cheddar-cheese-enthusiast

my rage increases with everything i hear about the live action lilo and stitch

what do you mean nani gives up custody of lilo.

what do you mean no jumba redemption— and he’s the twist villain???

what do you mean no pleakley in drag.

what do you mean no nani and david romance subplot.

what do you mean no gantu.

what do you mean no ugly duckling scene.

what do you mean no anti-tourism theme.

what do you mean jumba just sounds like some random american guy.

what do you mean cobra bubbles isn’t the social worker

not to mention nani’s actress being in brownface.

and more than anything— showing an indigeneous family being separated by the government, and having it be shown as a “happy ending.” the original ending was perfect. nani kept custody and gained a support system.

disney’s rise in conservatism is showing bigtime

I feel like I’m too much and also not enough at the same time.

Like I can be a lot, but not like, a not of a good thing. Too much to deal with.

But also at the same time, nit enough. Never good enough for people to want to be around. Never EVER good enough for anyone to ever want to even think about dating me.

Too much of a bad thing, with nothing good to offer

Being trans is crying at almost 1AM because I’ll never be good enough for someone to love