Man to man

I'm a man, a husband, a father, photographer, and a whole lot of activities in between. I have a life where a lot of things seem contradictory but in opposition they harmonize fairly well. I love food, fun, family, and I have a strong sense of faith. I've learned that I'm not done learning & sometimes children along with life can you teach you well. I started this to drop some of things I've learned for anyone who needs them and pick up a few things as well as inspiration for some new projects. #fatherhood #black #writer #poet #father #husband #dreamer #weightlifter #blackman #educated

[willwalkfree]

welcome back

I haven't written anything in almost a year. My life has changed so much. My life has changed, location has changed, family has changed (quite a few times) my occupational status has changed, everything. I'm doing some things different in life now. So much has changed for me. Not just the outward things, but the everything else as well.

I've experienced a place of lonliness as well as a place of not wanting to be with anyone. I have my wife and my son, I love them dearly, but that's not what I mean. In my opinion, every man needs a male friend, a comrade so to speak that he can talk to, bounce some life issues off of, things like that. It's like I have one of those, but I don't have one close. SO I've turned to either books or writing. I haven't gone back to the gym yet, but it's I've been feeling like a need some sort of outlet to be me.

Now I know me, I'll use the gym as the social scene hoping that I can find a friend, but from my experience, people of a different color aren't always accepting of my kind in this area. And that's ok. Nonetheless, I've so been missing writing in my blog. I have a ton of things I would like to share...and some I may share...and some things I probably will share...but shouldn't.

So check back up with me and we'll go from there.

[willwalkfree]

solo outting & 1st bday rewind

My son went on his first outing by himself, without his parents. He went with his favorite aunt and her daughter. As a father, I have to reaffirm the wife that everything would be alright. She had no doubts, and neither did I. I only wish that we would've planned things a lil' better. Something like when he left, we would be right behind him leaving. Instead, it was more of playing things by ear. I'm glad that he's having fun, but we're not in position, as parents, to have the kind of fun that we really wanna have. Anyhow, I'm thankful that he gets to spend the time that he needs with family.

We've also re-celebrated his 1st birthday yesterday, but he was too busy playing with his cousins to care about eating cake. I'm thankful that we did it again, although playing in the backyard resulted in major mosquito bites and dirty socks to say the least, but I got great pictures! That's what it's all about! Making memories that he won't remember, and we'll never forget!

[willwalkfree]

steppin to run

My son is trying to walk in front of us and it's funny because I've seen him doing it. In fact, he walked a good 8 steps and then he stopped, looked at me, laughed and walked back...I couldn't really believe it, but he did. Now, we're at his great grandma's house and he's doing just a lil' bit of walking. I'm assuming because he sees everyone else walking (his cousins, our family friends, etc) and he's not trying to get left in the dust. Realistically, he's atleast 6 months behind all of the kids he met. But they're the same height, in some cases he's taller. I know when he gets the walking thing down it will turn into running, because if he crawls as fast as he walks, then I'm back at the gym on machine as of yesterday to keep up with this kid!

[willwalkfree]

Realness

Some of the greatest moments that we have in life come out of the worst situations! That's the realest lesson for me and my house right now. When there's greatness inside you, God will design a plan of extraction. IT sucks going through it, but when you look back, it humbles you.

[willwalkfree]

When love hurts

This past week or so, I've been in a small quaint town where everyone knows each others business. In the past, I've spent a lot of time in this college town doing a lot of discovering and the Good Lord ordained a time and place for me and my lovely wife to meet and start a family. A lot of good things happened here, but this week I understand so much more about my family.

As I sat in the car reading excerpts of my wife's book to her and my son, I now understand how real her life was growing up. Granted people have changed, but a lot of things in this small town doesn't. I saw first hand the difficulty of living with someone who has an addiction and the damage it causes amongst families. Now on my side of the family, we have a few of those still left. Yes it was hard watching my grandma's valuables disappear in what seems like over night in many-a-cases. But this case is different.

It pains me to see the ugliness of a spirit imparted through drugs into someone. The hardest part is that while they're escaping reality, we still live in it. It's unfair to be subjected to someone else's problems, but it's even worst when it's thrust upon you in the worst way. In summation, its ugly!

I don't hate anyone, but I do wish that we could all make better choices when it comes to things like this. It's so necessary for everyone, especially the user. And, we all have our own problems, who am I to judge just because I can hide mine or do them in the dark? Loving them does hurt though. And you can love them without saying a word or getting too involved if at all can't you?

My answer: YES

[willwalkfree]

THank God for Haircuts & CHICKEN!!!

I got a new haircut today, and my son loved it. I held him up, and I realized we almost have the same haircut. Now when I got into the car, he just stared at me, like he didn't know who I was, but s smile make things all better. He's a great kid.

   On a different light, he isn't eating now that we are in a different environment. All he will eat is chicken, whether it's nuggets, strips, or pieces. He has refused everything "toddler", "baby" or "pre-packaged for kids under 2". But he will drink juice and water along with maybe a few cookies. We don't understand, then we allowed him to eat off of our spoon and the problem was considered solved. He starts to eat a few more bites, but then changed his mind again. Nothing for babies only what he sees everyone else eating. This is super frustrating, a picky eater at 1years old. Why people....what did I do to deserve this? It could be all the chicken his mom ate when she was pregnant. I just keep the chicken over heat and pray he keeps eating!

[willwalkfree]

something about her

You know you have a good one when through out all the mess, the hard stuff, the lies, the confusion, the anger, the bitterness, the chaos, and the downright undignified activities, there's still forgiveness, mercy, and love. That's another reason why I love her....

http://tiffanydaneillewalker.com/

[willwalkfree]

being grateful

I am grateful! Although, our situation isn't favorable right now, I'm very grateful. Now there are things that I do miss...small things like ice cream when I want, toilet time without feeling bad for not spraying, and being able to turn the lights down so that my babies can go to bed. Yes, its an unfortunate place to be, but I'm thankful for everything that I get, got, and gonna' get!

[willwalkfree]

memory lane

I've gone back to a very familiar place, where everyone knows everyone's business. I've found that not only have things gotten worst as far as jobs, money, food options, and activities goes, most of the people haven't changed. I saw a few former co-workers and I had an awesome time catching up. I met up with a few guys that I tend to talk to a lot and I'm very thankful. But just as I get to walking down memory lane, the lessons that I've learned always seem to be under some street light to remind me of the past. Yeah, I've done a lot of wrong, some things I'm not proud of, as well as some things I'm proud of that I really shouldn't be, I'm not the same person anymore. I'm glad for that, here's why: even though people tend to stagnate, I'm one of those people who have tried not to and didn't. I'm no better than the next person, that's not what this is about. It's about understanding the past is an unchangeable thing, but today's decisions make's yesterday's mistakes very valuable (if your're willing to learn). I miss so many of the people that I left behind....so in summation, "I'm very happy to be here"!

[willwalkfree]

Angels in babies

    Some of the worst life experiences that I have had, hadn't really involved my 1 year old. He's been such a trooper as his mom and dad try to figure out life, living and the pursuit of happiness. He's been in a hot air conditioned car for almost half a day looking at dad through a window and mom sitting in the front seat handling business. He whined a lil bit, but ultimately, he was a grown little man. We're so proud of him during our adjustment period that I wanted to do something special for him. But in my wanting to do something for him, he really blessed me when he just held my neck when I was having a down moment. I know that there is a such thing as angels in disguise, but this little dude, I guess just knew that I needed one. And so he did just that. Gotta' love lil' moments like this!

[willwalkfree]

The "E" word

Today, my life took a turn, and it's hard to say in what direction. i haven't been spilling all of my business on the Tumblr, but it's bout time I shared the "T" (as my wife says). Today or yesterday I was temporarily displaced from my home. Now, that's a nice way to say evicted, and it sucked! I tried to suggest a few solution for our financial hardship, but to no avail. I know that I needed a job, so I applied to just about every job I saw on the web boards. I literally have an email account full of responses like "we chose a better candidate" or "we feel as though you're not a good match".

Nevermind the fact that I've even applied to some companies more than once and for multiple positions in the last 120 days. I tried selling some things, although not too successful it's something I knew to try. But still to no avail.

When that didn't work, I changed the way I thought and even tried my hand in thinking outside the box and applying for jobs I know that I'm either over or under qualified for. Jobs spanning from McDonalds, to Lawn care services, all the way up to financial specialists and Project Management in one of the most reputable companies to date. But still nothing.

Those who know me, know that I ain't afraid to pray, and I did, along with a few other things...and things still happened. I say all that to encourage that one person who thinks that their life is bad. I'll start it with "it could be worst" and I'll foreword that with "if you didn't have God on your side" and then I'll wrap it up with "He loves you enough to keep the fire from burning". Be encouraged as you hear my story, because there will be more and there will be a victory in all of this.

My wife will give you a better description of thingsread more at:

http://tiffanydaneillewalker.com/

[willwalkfree]

wisdom in women

For so long, I've had this "opinion" about women...about how they were smarter than guys, but in many cases the wisdom isn't always there. Simply because I could manipulate them the way I wanted to. And for that, I'm wrong. BUt I wanna focus on a woman who changed my entire outlook on women. I'm not talking about Kathryn Stark either. Had her family listened to her, everyone would still be alive in Game Of Thrones, but hey...let's get more realistic. My wife has given me such insight on just about everything in life. I don't know if it's just love, but I know that her wisdom is appreciated (when I really sit down and think about what's she said). I can honestly say, sometimes hearing things from her is difficult, but in love I can walk away with a kiss. It's one of the greatest things about her. Not just her wisdom, but the light I'm learning to see her in has translated to other women in my life. For that, I'm grateful! To God I'm thankful!

ffanydaneillewalker.com/

[willwalkfree]

changing in time

I was thinking to myself in a few years, I wanna change something about my outward appearance. I was thinking of something like doing locs all over again. This time, grow them for some defined reason, but not out of rebellion again. I thought maybe of getting some sorta tattoo or somethings. I have one that isn't finished the way I want it done, but I've not really decided on how I want it to come together. And if I did, what would I get an image of. I know that words can be used, but tattoo's are forever. I thought to pierce something, but the only things I would pierce is my other ear. I'm not with all the exotic things like nipple, nose, or lip...atleast for now. But I think about being a father first, I'm me all day, and me goes through so many changes just like being a father. I change as he changes & grows (giving the situation). Maybe by then, I'll decide not to do anything or maybe buy something like a bass guitar to teach myself.

[willwalkfree]

days of the son

The most awesome thing today was watching my son distractedly walk around pushing a kiddy kart. I couldn't get excited because he will realize what he's doing, but I did wanna go and get my wife. All the while, he did it because he was so busy trying to multitask. I've found he doesn't like hats so much, but they keep him busy.

On another note, I'm learning that father's have a very important role. he's the one that teaches his child how to love themselves. When you invest time into little people who think that tossing a cup around is the most fun that God has created, they remember that. I have always remembered everything (mostly) that my father and I have done, but the little things we've done together mean the most to me. I'm sure my son(s) will have stories when they get older.

Anyhow, happy 4th to those who celebrate it.

[willwalkfree]

love her for it

She makes something outta' nothing, when she needs too. She makes great out of good when she can. But with her, everything is better! I'm glad to have her, not just because she can cook or she knows how to make life simple, but she looks good doing it. That's alright with me. I love her for those reasons and more!

http://tiffanydaneillewalker.com/

[willwalkfree]

The perfection of peace

When you hurt a person, you never know how long it will take them to heal. I've hurt people and some still haven't healed, in fact they pick the wound so that it never heals, but I believe that want me to hurt that bad. I find pain, in many cases, a feeling nobody really wants to feel, but they've convinced themselves that it's the only way to "make sure" that they're still alive. I talked to a man in so much pain that even in his silence, his rage penetrated the sound waves in my receiver. I felt that pain, I felt it and I wanted to hug my brother...but the peace he was looking for I could not provide. I had no means of giving him the things that he really sought after. All I could do is testify about the realness of Jesus Christ. Now, I might say a few curse words, sarcastically speak, be dishonest about how I feel from time to time, and may even wanna pull my hair out, but God, Jesus is for everyone. Nobody is greater than the next and no sin is worst than the other. That's what I know. I know that God, Jesus is love, a love most people look for in people but never find. That's what I know. That's my sunday, my today, my everyday, and I know it!

[willwalkfree]

logical technological thoughts

At what point do we live our lives without the images being shoved down our throats? When do we as a people get time to think? There aren't many places that you can go without there being some sorta information overload, yet, we break our necks to communicate the most or the fastest. I enjoy the modern commodities that we have now, but I remember a time when we put our phones down, turn our tvs off, or simply clicked the away message on our chat convo's to just connect with those we love. Instead, we distance ourselves more and more by getting closer to whomever is on the receiving end of technological device we're using...be it facebook or what not. We "document" our lives and share it with the globe, but the immediate circle we live in gets less and less of our attention. Why is that? When do we start to think for ourselves as people, individuals even, instead of being scientifically psychologically manipulated by a capitalist environment with a generation that argues about getting things now instead of being patient and diligent like their parents did with the generation of the past? I can't say....but what will you teach your kids about the one most precious commodity we call time? It just goes, never to return again in this lifetime....so before you type, take a pic, send a meme, think about what I'm saying...before you forget...