Out of Context D&D quotes
“He must be the mayor, he has indoor plumbing!”
“What do I roll to steal the delicious subway sandwich?”
“If you can’t create your own arcane fire, store bought is fine.”
“They’re my radishes now.”
“It’s been a really bad day so far. I'ma stab ‘em.”
“Do I have proficiency in motherfuckers?”
“Were these pirate skeletons pirates first or skeletons first??”
“I punch things with bullets.”
“The important thing is…I’m not a cop.”
“I didn’t care about stopping their human sacrifices, I just wanted to get my commemorative photo”
“I am too high to reanimate the dead.”
“Well, you’d better figure it out, ‘cause once that bird’s here I’m not going to care. I’m just going to charge in and kill the bird, and they’re going to be like, ‘Why are you in our house, killing this bird?’ and I’m going to be like, ‘Bye!’”
“We’re violent because we care.”
“I wanna see some action man, you’re like a dead log’s dead body!”
“What are arms but really smart legs?”
“I can’t breathe fire, but soon I’ll be shitting it.”
“Success through failure: our party’s motto.”
“When you say ‘containment’ do you mean ‘murderize’?”
“What are the odds of us eating food today?”
“I’ll do the planning, you’ll do the fighting, and he’ll bring the humorous pig.”
“There’s bread nailed to his door, and cheese scattered across his bed.… We’re being haunted by a chef.”
“You said you were ready for the skeleton war.”
“How are you letting a panther beat you at poker?”
“They might be zombies, but they’re making soup so who cares?”
“Don’t eat strange bread, it might make you trip balls and die”
“Do fish people have the concept of nudity?”
“I don’t know what this is, but it’s unnatural, and if it wasn’t already dead, I would probably kill it.”
“For someone who cares so much about morals, you’re sort of… despicable.”
“We’ve been assholes all night, why break the streak?”
“Can I take a rain-check on Valhalla? I’ve got a date at six”
“No, we are not turning the castle into a commune.”
“I had everything planned! Except for soap. I never accounted for soap.”
“Sure, I could knock but I don’t want to, because I’m a criminal.”
“Heterosexuality *is* a cult. Let’s move on.”
“I feel like we’re two sides of the same stupid coin.”
“I’m not drunk, I’m just charismatic.”
“No, passing out from being drowned does NOT count as a short rest.”
“We could attach his upper half to the car! Like a centaur! A cencar!”
“I’ll let it slide on the technicality that your crossbow fires exploding cabbages.”
“That was the scariest rock I’ve ever hidden behind.”
“Why is this backpack bleeding?”
“Is the frozen pigeon still on fire?”
“The line between incompetence and treachery is blurrier than you’d think, huh?”
“How stealthy is a Molotov?”
janainaart
snowghoul
origamiaround
yousharknotpass
annaxmalina
jacobvanloon
dailybridgerton
germansingergirl
