Applying to college at 21 I feel insane,,
I have so many (unfinished) Style fics with Stan not knowing what to do with his life the first few years after high school. I always knew I wanted to be a creative but between my previous jobs and adhd, everything I wanted felt so far away.
When I think about Stan and his inevitable “fuck it, what’s the worst that can happen” moment, when he decides to try school again, it makes me think that maybe I can do that too.
The best part about having a favorite character you project yourself onto is it inspires you to do stuff you never thought you could. When I think about Kyle’s anger issues I feel seen. It makes calming down easier because I can imagine him in that scenario and it shifts my perspective. I’m just a person going through the motions like everyone else. But I’m not just my bad days.
Anyway I know I haven’t shared much in a while. Sometimes I like to just reblog things and comment in the background when I’m burnt out or too scared to post. I appreciate seeing all my moots posts though, and reading your guys’ fics, they motivate me more than y’all know ^^
Hopefully I don’t sound melancholic btw, I’ve actually been feeling really good lately. I have my ups and downs like we all do, but I always come back and try again. Sometimes it just takes awhile for me to get back on my feet :)
So yeah, I’m thinking about going back to school,, I finally decided I wanna stay where I live and go to a community college nearby. It’s always crazy to me how much my goals change throughout the years, but I’ve been getting used to the fact that when I hear no, it’s not that I give up, I just switch lanes. Try a different approach. The world isn’t shutting me out, I just haven’t found what’s right for me yet.
Still, I don’t know if this move will be worth it or if I’ll even gain anything more than some headaches, but I wanna try. My motto is that what I fail to do will someday make a good story anyway. I think a Stan community college fic would be fun to write hehe.