Declawed kitten.

"You're dripping like a saturated sunrise. You're spilling like an overflowing sink. You're ripped at every edge, but you're a masterpiece, and now you're tearing through the pages and the ink." Mila Evans Private; HE RP 18; Ravenclaw Muggleborn

[windmila-blog]

[lawrences-yuan-deactivated20210]

Chang Manor Guest House

[windmila-blog]

lawrences-yuan:

“I m-m-miss him,” Lawrence whispered into his pillow, tempted to throw another one at Mila but knowing it would only instigate her. He startled as he heard something fall onto the table and his eyes widened in a mix of panic and excitement when he recognized the sources of the noise. Shit, she’s been holding out on him since he went straight edge. “T-Tris doesn’t like me ge-getting high.”

But Tris was gone, wasn’t he? He didn’t want him gone. He wanted him there. Was Tris really gone forever? Lawrence couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t - he just goddamn wanted Tris, or to at least stop thinking about him and wanting him so much it felt like it was killing him. 

“W-what all did you bring?”

Mila froze, blinking as she tried to fight the lurch in her chest. With every heartbeat, it shouted Me too, me too, me too, me too. But they weren’t thinking of the same person. “Fuck ‘im,” she said - in reference to both Tris and Kai, who she was not here to talk or think about.

In fact, she was here to do the opposite.

“Listen, it’s just you’n me, yeah? Let’s get fucked up and think about nothing. Lit’rally nothing.” Looking out over her assortment, she gave a shrug. “My so-called Mum has been giving me money like it’s gonna fix ev’rything, and I’m not an idiot, so I’m takin’ it all and using it for this lovely spread. I’ve scored... let’s see... We’ve got some good, reliable green. Some bennies, ‘eavenly blue, angel dust, and of course, the Big C. I also scored some Pixie Dust from this guy at a par’y. What should we start with, hmm?”

[windmila-blog]

not-the-sharpe-est-tool:

“The only heart condition I have is having one,” he repeated the words, weighing each on his tongue, eyes widening slightly like he’d just partook in a revelation, and smiling when he finished. He could see saying that while looking off into mid-distance. There would be a music cue or an explosion just after, depending on genre. Good stuff. He could see that on a poster too. It could be placed in a drama set in a hospital and that would make it a pun. “Do you mind?” He grabbed the quill she was holding even as he was asking and wrote the line down on the napkin under her signature before tucking it away. “It’s pixie dust. I think there’s a bit of powder billywig sting in there,” he looked to Roderic for confirmation and got a nod which he passed on to Mila as he looked back at her, “So if you start levitating, shout and we’ll hold you down.”

She watched as Noah seemed to drift away, lost in some other world she wasn’t in just yet. She was about to snap her fingers when he reached for the quill, snatching it right out of her grasp, and she watched, confused, as he wrote what she had just said down. “The fuck’re you wri’in that for?”

Mila liked to think she had a pretty wide knowledge of drugs. But magical drugs? The fuck was pixie dust? “You mean that shit from Pe’er Pan that makes you fly? I can already do that with a broom. And what the ‘ell is billywig sting?” It was funny, how even as she asked the questions, she held a hand out, itching for a taste already. “Not that it matters. Just figured if I’m going to be levita’ing I might as well know what else to expect.”

[userspree-deactivated20250328]

[written-in-pen]

You’re too busy being scared to realize you’re already in love.

E. Grin, excerpt from Poisoned Ink (via written-in-pen)

[nobodyyouknow202020202020]

Visit Original Link

[windmila-blog]

You’re gone, and I gotta stay high all the time To keep you off my mind. High all the time, to keep you off my mind. Spend my days locked in a haze, trying to forget you babe. I fall back down… Gotta stay high all my life to forget I’m missing you.

[coral]

She looks sad. She looks angry. She looks different from everyone else I know—she cannot put on that happy face others wear when they know they are being watched. She doesn’t put on a face for me, which makes me trust her somehow.

Matthew Quick, Silver Linings Playbook

[bcusofthg]

[windmila-blog]

I stayed a night out in Paris where they don’t know my name / And I got into some trouble with that drink in my veins / I got a problem with parties ‘cause it’s loud in my brain / And I can never say sorry ‘cause I won’t take the blame / I know I always go missing and you’re lying awake / But if you ask why I’m distant oh I’m running away

You know that everywhere I go I got a million different people tryina’ kick it / But I’m still alone in my mind 

[lawrences-yuan-deactivated20210]

Chang Manor Guest House

[windmila-blog]

lawrences-yuan:

“G-go away,” Lawrence grumbled, assuming it was Thea who walked in the door to drag him to his healers’ appointment he was skipping to cry. For the second time this week. “I’m not fuckin’ goin’ to the hospital.”

@windmila

“Shut the fuck up,” Mila spat, arms crossed. She felt tense. She felt twitchy and anxious but she missed Lawrence. She missed everyone all the time and it hurt because she knew she shouldn’t be here. Her presence was only asking for some new horrible, awful thing to happen. She was tempting fate being here.

But damn it, was she fucking lonely.

“You’re not going to the ‘ospital but you’re not gonna sit ‘ere and stu’‘er and cry like a sack of shit either.” Mila plopped down next to him, still feeling so on edge. She hated every second of this and regretted being here almost as much as she wanted to just crawl into Lawrence’s arms and cry with him. “Perk the fuck up. I brought par’y favors,” she mumbled again, digging out an assortment of drugs and tossing it down on the nearest surface. 

[windmila-blog]

not-the-sharpe-est-tool:

He had been feeling like there was a second shadow hanging onto his back ever since the gala. He could forget it was there for short periods, but no matter what he did he couldn’t get completely out of his head and escape it until that packed club with bass pounding in his ears until he felt it in his chest and alcohol in his bloodstream and Roderic, friend of his that flew for the Arrows and was on and off again with Alyssa, standing lookout  and the bouncers and bartenders paid to be looking elsewhere and make sure any narcs they knew of were too while he  stood at the most secluded corner of the bar and smoothed the sparkling turquoise androxi pollen he’d dumped out of the vial he’d been wearing around his neck under his shirt into a sleek line with the edge of a credit card, chopped the card along the line to hammer out any chunks and made the line straight again. 

His head was bent when the girl joined them , a sign Roderic had failed at his job and was neither a good lookout nor good at casting disillusionment charms. Noah could have been mad. He was for a second. She could have been anyone, undercover auror, reporter. She looked vaguely familiar but that didn’t mean anything. But angry wasn’t Noah Sharpe. It was too late now. They could just see how it played out.  “Oversight,” he beamed. He sniffed a few times, not the most charming gesture but practical, and pinched the bridge of his nose, then he hit Roderic in the chest. “Why wasn’t she invited to this party? She is exactly who you’re supposed to invite. Here, sign this.” He moved his glass to the side, picked up the cocktail napkin it had been sitting on, and held  it up toward Mila between his fore and middle fingers, looking at her very seriously. “It’s a non disclosure agreement and it certifies you are over eighteen and you do not suffer from any heart conditions. It’s legally binding  even if you give me a false name” He tried to arrange his expression into an intimidating one but his cheeks and forehead were already starting to numb.

Mila looked between the napkin and the stranger, rolling her eyes already as she accio’ed a quill and signed it without care, real name and all. “I’m nineteen and the only ‘eart condition I ‘ave is having one,” she grumbled, and looked over at what was left of the line on the counter. 

“What is it?” she asked, curious but ready to partake no matter what the answer was. “Is it strong?”

[frnnk]

Sorry // Halsey

[sad-plath]

I open my mouth and dust spills out instead of feelings.

Gabriel Gadfly (via sad-plath)

[elizabethgilies]

[lifeinpoetry]

the addictions / that were killing me fastest were the ones I loved best

Kaveh Akbar, from “Unburnable the Cold is Flooding Our Lives,” Portrait of the Alcoholic (via lifeinpoetry)

[queenhelenas]

[redrosepoet]

I have a habit of Self destruction.    Somedays, I won’t eat,  I won’t sleep, I’ll drink myself into darkness.    But by far, Without a doubt, The thing that destroyed me the most, Was always You.

soft blue eyes // redrosepoet (via redrosepoet)

[malnourishedraccoon]

[windmila-blog]

I run away when things are good / And never really understood / The way you laid your eyes on me / In ways that no one ever could / And so it seems I broke your heart / My ignorance has struck again / I failed to see it from the start / And tore you open ‘til the end

And I’m sorry to my unknown lover / Sorry that I can’t believe that anybody ever really starts to fall in love with me / Sorry to my unknown lover / Sorry I could be so blind / Didn’t meant to leave you and all of the things that we had behind / And someone will love you / Someone will love you / Someone will love you / But someone isn’t me