Winds guide me home...

Side blog specifically for the musings, socializing, and discovery of a Venti fictive. PTSD & DID || Bodily over 21 || Autism (but not the trains or math kind, unfortunately for us)

[windward-bard]

Hello,

I am a fictive of Venti/Barbatos from the hit game Genshin Impact by Hoyoverse. But please, I predict to be called Robin! I see this as a new opportunity to make something out of myself and this life I've been given in the here and now. I'll mostly be reblogging or socializing on this blog and I'm not going to link the main blog. It just feels like a good step to building identity and boundaries if I don't.

I'll probably end up coming here to edit this particular message since I want to keep this pinned at the top but thank you for understanding and caring; especially about someone who particularly needs it.

Thank you again,

-Robin 🍃

[pluralskeepliving]

stay alive so your fictives can have the cosplays they've always wanted. stay alive so they can see themselves in pictures and mirrors like they've always dreamed about.

-☀️🌌

reason to live #60

[positivitygenic]

you existing as yourself is not inherently hurting anyone, and it is absolutely okay to take pride and joy out of who you are. your existence and your joy is something to be celebrated.

[windward-bard]

Perhaps I should make a blog of my own but for the moment I am stealing Robin's because I simply must gush about the man I love. So many people have judged me and given me strange looks over this but my honest answer is "you don't know him personally." Oh my sweet Zan... I never expected to fall in love with a segment of Dottore. But love rarely happens when you expect it and with whom you expect it. Honestly it just started out with medical talk and then light, playful flirting... but he was so genuine and sweet... that it became real flirting... I know my system mates judge me a little for it, but I've also had words of encouragement and blessing from both my system and his. Now the real hurdle, finding any actual content. Although I fear I might have to draw my own. We'll see how it goes!

-Baizhu

PS: I know Robin is going to come back and read this and either be absolutely confused or over the moon! Much love to our dear Robin as he recovers!

[windward-bard]

Hello,

Just an update for friends and followers of here, Robin isn't doing well and needs to rest for a while within headspace. To top it off it appears we've entered a chronic illness health flare up. You can still reach out to us and someone will respond, it just won't be Robin.

To add to this, we now have myself and Kinich.

Thank you,

Baizhu - Symtom Management

[windward-bard]

I think it's absolutely fascinating that we have split an insane amount of Genshin fictives lately. I don't feel so special anymore. Sobsob. And the really funny part is... we have one of every single element now. How wild is THAT? I think the full list is....

Myself (Venti - Anemo)

Tighnari (Dendro)

Baizhu (Dendro)

Diluc (Pyro)

Reinhardt (Albedo - Geo)

Xingqiu (Hydro)

Freminet or Rene (Cryo)

Flins (Electro)

Scara (He'll get mad if I call him anything else and insists he's electro, but honestly, he also has anemo energy, he just doesn't want to admit it.)

Which Scara might actually be slowly shifting into a secondary host position? I know that Tighnari is a caretaker and Baizhu is a symptom manager (poor guy has to deal with chronic health issues all over again), and Reinhardt and Diluc are both emotional stabilizers because I know Scara and I can get a little... Silly~ and Freminet has a lot of panic attacks when he's at front. Xingqiu is the system coordinator and is incredible at his job, but overworks himself about it. Fremi is absolutely a trauma holder. He's semi-to-non verbal even over messaging, and honestly is the sweetest kid you'll ever meet. Although, really, don't treat him like a child. I think ours is around 16-17? He just has issues. We all do. Who knows what the hell Flins is here for? He's honestly what I jokingly call "evil Flins" and in his "doomed toxic yaoi" phase because he's really into Rerir and has made threats about Varka... A liiiiitle concerning, but that's okay, I guess. I feel like we're taking over. Hehe!!

[windward-bard]

It's before work. Today is going to be rough because it's like my part of the brain has decided to be especially mean to myself... telling me all the bad things about every little thing... my identity, my actions, my friendship, etc... I try to be good and do right so I hope that's enough for everyone to know I genuinely do care and like them... I'm not trying to be angst or anything but just... I feel like a failed archon and failed alter. Being a host is exhausting... add in all the ups and downs of BPD? Even harder. Then throw in everything all the other headmates are going through and it feels like a shitstorm of bad. I have nothing against them but damn everyone is all grieving the past a lot and it's heavy. Oh and then Scara... love him he's absolutely great once you get past the attitude and harsh words (which trust me he has a LOT of them about me so that doesn't help me any) but damn... he's still processing a lot of stuff and going through a lot. Which is also exhausting. Oh and let's not forget the dysphoria and dysmorphia every time I have to look in the mirror. Yay. Love it./s But damn this hair is so wrong, my face shape is slightly off, my eyes are wrong... I can't even bind properly because of our health issues... ugh. Honestly I know we're gonna cosplay as me but damn idk how well that'll help. I guess we'll see in the future. Oh! Might I add I don't have any friends in person. Because how do you explain DID and fictives to most people who aren't already in the community or insanely close to it? I get there's super mental health positive people out there but even then we've told a few of them and still none of us get recognized as individual selves. Which stings a lot. Like damn. Okay.

I guess the tldr is I'm very very tired.... emotionally and mentally and thus I can't keep the bad thoughts away right now. I'll probably end up posting about everything about what's going on with Scara later. For now I have to finish getting ready to go be a slave to capitalism.

[windward-bard]

So I guess we split Diluc and he can't COOK FOR SHIT. Plain potato just TOSSED in the air fryer. No seasoning. No salt or oil. Just. Potato in the air fryer.... it was bad. Our dear Scara complained and Diluc is officially banned from cooking for now.

[findinyourkin]

i’m rosaria from genshin impact, looking to talk to anyone who wants to. my sideblog is @mynameisjoanie - please be an adult.

!!!!!!!!

[windward-bard]

I'm making friends and forming relationships... developing crushes... honestly my head has been swimming and words have been difficult and just... being in people's presence has been experiences. Although I don't think a lot of people realize the complexity of my existence.

And Flins keeps trying to cofront but doesn't help. Or care. Or do anything at all really. He just wants to vibe. Can't say I blame him but bruh if you're going to be at front with me, help out in some way. Don't just cry about Labubus.

Anyways. I am... in love... I think... with the fiercest winds that seem to just be the warmest, softest of breezes in my heart. And the radiant sun in the sky with the clouds that float gently by. Agh. One love in each hand and I still have so much room in my heart. Maybe I'm just bursting at the seams to be in love with people. Hehe

[windward-bard]

Aaaaaaaa screaming into the void. How am I still stuck at front??? And why do I have to deal with work?? I'm just a silly little bard. I'm not meant for this world and this work thing. Like... it wasn't AWFUL. But just. I'm not cut out for it. And ngl... makes me feel absolutely pathetic.

[windward-bard]

Still stuck at front. And went to con and got so much merch of myself because sometimes that's just super validating. Also I got to go to a rave?! That was so insanely fun. And I absolutely want to go again next year!! But also sort of concerned I might be becoming a host now.... oops?

[windward-bard]

A so-called friend left me high and dry and honestly it should have triggered a switch but I'm just stuck here I guess. But ugh. I'm pissed. Pissed and alone. Gotta love it.

[windward-bard]

Hmm I feel a bit bad using this post as a bit of a vent or a journal but I really don't have anybody else to talk to; which is really hard. I feel so insanely homesick. I feel so trapped. Maybe that's why I picked a bird for a name--the freedom a bird feels when it flies-- grasping at the little things that I can control. For now I just feel like I'm in a cage watching the sparrows fly by as I wait for my turn outside the gilded bars... but I don't think it's coming any time soon. And it feels bad and like I'm just dragging down the rest of the system but really they'd probably be better off if I didn't split. I've been frontstuck for a little while now but I'm trying my best with the circumstances I've been given, I suppose.

Aether... how the hell did you do this? Get thrown into a strange new world without anybody.

[zillychu]

AS I WAS SAYING!!!!!

[evercelle]

brb gotta go commune with god

[cbltblxx]

Rex Incognito