Saint cannot bear the silence that hangs in the air, but does not choose to break it, because if he did then the words would have to be goodbye. A man of might and metal Saint-14 could easily hold all the patience in the world but here and now he would refuse to stand for it. The Warlock always had an explanation for everything but in this moment he cannot offer anything?
It was quite unlike Saint-14 to give up, on anyone, anything. But he is beyond a breaking point where Osiris was concerned. Opening his mouth to bid the other farewell is when finally, something was said.
“Mm, so you would rather distance yourself than come to terms with this?” The way his tone carries does not exactly express anger, leaning towards a bitterness instead. Saint simply cared too much about the man before him, but that did not ease the pain, if anything it only made it worse. Because at the end of it all the most important question was one not yet asked: was it remorse or guilt that Osiris felt?
“Perhaps I should go, then it can be like I had never come back, as you have said there are things more important to focus on.”
OSIRIS FEELS DESPERATION well in his heart as soon as saint says he’ll leave. that’s not what he meant. he doesn’t know how to SAY what he means. he means he mourned. he means he’s RELIEVED. he means he doesn’t know how to tackle the albatross around his neck that’s the shape of saint’s death.
he never ALLOWED himself to do that when he was gone, because then that would be accepting that gap from their separation WAS from death. but now he must deal with it, or forever lose him. ( again... NOT AGAIN. )
osiris reaches out, hand clasping saint’s wrist tightly. ❝ don’t go. i’m--- ❞ the word never came to him easily, because in a way it’s admitting he’s wrong, he grimaces. ❝ i’m sorry. i didn’t mean that... ❞
❝ you were gone, i didn’t know what to do with myself. i didn’t let myself accept it. dammit, i spent years looking for you, i went mad looking for you, for the time just before you died. i failed. don’t you understand, saint? i failed, and if not for the young wolf... i’m... i’m afraid... of losing you again. i don't want to hurt like that again. ❞