love like a whalefall

Fiver | 18+ casettedevil on ao3 carpathiascall on bluesky

[winter-lantern]

18/07/2026

I have never been filled with more energy to go outside and exist in public, but the air quality has decided to fight against me & my undiagnosed lung problems. It's pissing me off, but the god damn New Yorkers complaining about it are pissing me off way more. Oh I'm sooooo sorry your summer has been ~ruined~ by my country burning to the ground. Bricks to the head to the lot.

I may honestly just take the risk and head out tomorrow anyway, if to only walk down to my local library for a few hours. I'm frankly going stir crazy, and I want to get back into the flow of writing again - something I cannot feasibly do in my current home environment. And now that I've got my new backpack & have sorted out (most) of the technical issues with my laptop, it will just be a matter of actually getting out.

As for current wip progress, unfortunately for me (but mostly my readers) the bulk of my original hyperfixation on SpamTenna has now passed, with my attention now going instead to other Deltarune lore - specifically the Weird Route and the Holidays but especially Dess and Noelle. I still intend to finish what I started with SFAU, but it is going to stay indefinitely on hiatus for the time being.

It's really not been healthy for me as a writer to be so seized up with guilt over my failure to complete SFAU while allowing for my other ideas for Deltarune and other fandom fic to stagnate. Hell, I have other SpamTenna ideas I am still interested in writing that have been stunlocked by this same guilt, and it frankly needs to stop. Ultimately writing is my passion and something I do for fun, not something I do to measure up to other peoples' expectations and demands. I know people will be disappointed by SFAU's indefinitely delayed conclusion, but I have to do what is right for me.

[winter-lantern]

[radioxra]

WHAT HAVE I BECOME? - DELTARUNE ANIMATION FLASH WARNING + SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 5 WEIRD ROUTE for my photosensitive friends, here is a non-flashing version. song: magenta placenta - gezebelle gaburgably

[cashlessfailure]

Made some artwork for the spamtenna fic “so frayed and unsightly” (really hope the link works)

It was one of the first spamtenna fic that I really enjoyed around chapter three’s release

[nikoco11]

no, i haven't heard back from them. have you?

[winter-lantern]

05/07/26

Switching to Linux on my main PC may have been the worst mistake I have ever made tech wise.

I really, really wanted to like Linux. I love the UI design, I love how responsive it is, and I especially love not having to pay for an antivirus anymore. But my god, I have never suffered more with getting anything to just work on a PC than I have with the three distros of Linux I have chewed through in an attempt to find one that 'fits' (ubuntu, pop! and now bazzite).

Don't get me wrong, it's an excellent OS for those who know and understand how it works, and similarly good for those who primarily just browse the internet and/or work in word docs or programming. God help you if you do literally anything else, though. Photo and video editing on any Distro is wack, and if you play video games with a mouse & keyboard with programmable macro keys you're basically fucked six ways from Sunday.

It's really on me for not doing more intensive research about that beforehand, but I at least know now so I won't ever make that mistake again. I can only hope my reinstallation of Windows 11 goes smoothly, otherwise I'll have to haul my PC in to my local computer store to have them do it for me.

In other, better news, and relating to the word docs bit; I was able to successfully install Mint on the 2014 model Macbook I was passed down by my aunt, which has now increased its longevity by at least ten years. So I can at least resume my bi-daily habit of leaving the house to write in a coffee shop or library. I just gotta remember to open it up at least once a week to run updates whenever I am going through a period of re-surging agoraphobia, as Linux tends to get quite fussy if you don't do that regularly. It's all running great so far though, so I'm confident with its viability going forward.

Which is all a good sign, as I have been feeling the pull to write again since I returned from my trip. I have some bits and pieces written down (by hand) in a notebook I took with me to the West coast for both sfau and a yet to be fully drafted wip, and I have been revisiting some old projects of mine from other fandoms with the intent to revitalize them. Playing Deltarune Chapter 5 also re-lit the fire that was that specific hyperfixation, so I'll be happy to get back to writing those fics.

[winter-lantern]

Gonna do my best to maintain an actual blog as a way of chronicling my writing process, and to get my thoughts out in general about my day to day life.