Very soon, possibly by the end of this or the next month, I will be deactivating this blog and leaving forever. The reason is nothing too terrible... It was simply time to leave.
A person in real life, whom I simply cannot risk finding this blog very nearly did, and anyone in my University knowing this is me, can hurt my future very public facing career. So it has to go. I have years worth of writing here that I will always love... But I have to go. I have years of friendships, relationships, internet beefs and opinions on here, but everything comes to an end. And I was feeling that it is time that this did too. To those who valued and cherished my words and opinions, I am utmost grateful to you and I won't forget what that means to me or what you meant to me for as long as I was around on Tumblr. But the future calls.
Which is why I wanted to let you all know before leaving. If there's an opinion, an ask or anything I've said and done before you want to save in a reblog to your page, please do so before the end of this month which is when I will likely leave. And fret not this will not be the last time you'll be seeing me! None of you will know it... But some day you will see me on your screens. In an interview, or a movie, or even an ad for my own films. You will know my name differently and put it to a different face. And there is a different way you will remember me from that point. So cherish this knowing, some day you'll see the real me even if you won't know it but understand that right now my calling is in the Indie Film Space.
It is time for me to shed this old skin behind... And cross into the real world. Forever. Maybe some day in the future, I'll see some of you in real life too on the other side and won't know it. But this is growth, evolution, it is beautiful and I look forward to it.
Goodbye Tumblr!
@winterfrostlovetriangle I'll miss you, since I met you here. But you know how to reach out to me anyway. @youlackconviction, I hope you'll carry the OG Loki mantel for me and keep finding people to rescue into the server when they show up. I direct all my anons about OG Loki to you from this point.
I will miss you, too @lotus-eyedindiangoddess. I don't know why I feel like crying. The end of an age is bittersweet, but we all have to grow and change. I am proud you are listening to that call. 🫂❤️
Let us all start with a hearty "Fuck ICE" and a good chuckle because LMFAO... Jesse walked into that moment with a level of "FUCK THE AUTHORITIES" that played out so beautifully that it's worth doing a playback for.
Because where McKay is instantly worried the moment she sees them. Robby wants them gone, but he knows he has to play the game. He hates it but he has to. And Victoria's a little nervous just to be there when we see her but Jesse Van Horn does not give a single fuck about these men.
He makes his way through them. Not around. And not politely. Just slides between where these fucks are standing like some protective wall and tells them, the big one SPECIFICALLY, "I need those removed so I can check her vital signs".
Because Jesse has eyes on him from the moment he walked over because Jesse can spot a fucking problem.
And sure, they look equally shook that this man is talking to them like that, but here's the thing: It's not a question because he's not asking.
It's an order and while those chucklefucks can look at each other all day with their thumbs up their asses, he and Robby kind of close ranks for a moment. Jesse takes a seat, but Robby moves from the sidelines where he was watching them and I love that. Because Robby is standing guard, watching these men, but once Jesse is there, he uses that to close ranks a little with himself, Jesse, Victoria and Cassie all kind of forming an inner circle around her.
But even once he is seated, Jesse's eyes are back on them. Can't tell the look from the moment but you see, he's watching them again.
It's actually a really beautiful back and forth because the moment Jesse looks away to do his job and check her vitals, Robby is watching those pricks again.
But when Jesse gives her vitals (heart rate 110, pulse ox 98 so they're good), he gives Robby this look. Seriously watch his face because it does a lot in a little before he again forces these pricks to back up in the way he moves past them, but there's concern, but there's anger too. And he needs Robby to know that.
It also puts him on the big guy's radar because he watches to make sure Jesse is gone before refocusing.
And then we next see him, he's finishing up. He's leaving, but that mountain of fuckface storms over after Robby told him off and gets pissy. And Jesse could walk away, but the moment he clocks that man, he immediately stops and CIRCLES AROUND THIS MAN, READY TO BE A BARRIER!
He goes from being on that man's LEFT to being on his RIGHT so fast because Jesse is ready in a way no one else is because he's a 6ft white guy. Like it's too brief to gif (at 36:42 he pivots, then at 36:44 you can see him on the other side).
And that little one isn't doing shit to help or stop anything since I think he's their "not all ICE" attempt, LOL. But Jesse is cautiously between that man and his patient asking to just be allowed to get her a sling with Cassie. And when she cries out in pain because that man grabs her injured arm intentionally, Jesse is between them purposefully (hand over the man's grip on her while his other forearm is against his chest) in a heartbeat telling this man to stop because that fuck is hurting her.
And we don't see it, but Jesse yelling out in pain is the next thing we hear along with things falling. And we next see Jesse on the ground, hogtied, so we know Jesse was assaulted. Victoria probably got it on film since we see her with her phone out (along with others later), but I think it's safe to say Jesse didn't get to the ground on his own accord.
And aside from telling those pricks to get their hands off him, Jesse says in the most choked out way (because a man is actively kneeling on his back) "Robby, I didn't do shit". And Robby knows. Robby says he knows. And honestly, outside of protecting his patient, Jesse didn't do anything.
Note how Robby, I mean, he's talking to Jesse, but he is not looking at him even then. He refuses to look anywhere but at this man that has harmed one of his employee.
And again, credit to Robby, he's on it. He gives him the 'shut the fuck up' spiel, which Jesse nods to. It's so brief, y'all, but he nods. They make eye contact because Robby (OF ALL PEOPLE!) is searching for that eye contact to know Jesse is listening, and Jesse nods. Because he knows to shut up. Robby says so like he says he's gonna call the hospital lawyer about it.
Then goes back to staring straight ahead like this is just another nuisance in a long line of them (and it is), muttering something I can't make out. Just like how Dana is immediately at his side once they start moving him looking all kinds of harried and ready to cry a little that is her nurse and she can't protect him. She can't control the situation.
All this to say that was never just that ONE moment at the end with Jesse stepping up. He was on the defense from the jump, my little punk rock prince. And I love that for him.
But more than that, I love the shock on McKay's face because it hints at how wrong the moment is? Like she's been arrested. Probably not the biggest cop fan, but even still, last season she was in this exact position. But something about this moment is enough to shock her to her bones (maybe Jesse isn't that guy, maybe... like the sound implies, he was assaulted for trying to help, maybe it's just the shock of seeing it happen to someone else), but it's that look on her face that tells you... everything about the moment, really.
Also, shout out to Ned because we all joke about Jesse being the most expressive motherfucker in the Pitt and he tends to say he's just the numbers guy (he reads the numbers in a way that conveys the situation) but... much like with him coming between Frank and Robby during the sepsis patient, he's conveying a whole lot in a matter of literal seconds once again.
They should let him speak more provided Jesse doesn't get fired (praying that he is part of a nurses union and they come through for him, if Robby doesn't personally pick him up from jail after his shift at this rate because Robby may).
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