Wisejobssio

[sorrow-already-spoiled]

Really Got Lazy With The Titles This Year

Warring States Period: Naruto-verse

Uchiha Sio and Senju Faye 

So sorry to those of you who aren’t currently re-watching/reading Naruto - the hyperfixation is real, and I feel insane

Also, don’t mind the absolute crack pairing, or the fact that I’ve now killed Wrios two days in a row (it’s not personal I swear)

__________________________________________

"We must strike back, harder."

"This cannot stand!"

"Freeze their blood in their veins!"

"Revenge!"

"Revenge."

"Revenge."

The war council table around Sio is a cacophony of noise. He should be listening, but all he feels is numb. His brother Jarund is dead and all his clan is doing is yelling about revenge. Is there no time at all for mourning? 

He certainly should be paying attention. He’s the clan heir now. If -- no, when -- his father dies, it will be up to him to lead his family. This is war, and it’s all he’s known, but he’s getting very tired of burying his siblings. The meeting wraps up, and he pries his fingers free from the ice he’d accidentally produced on the arms of his chair. 

He walks to the edge of their compound before jumping into the trees. He runs, in any direction, just to be away from here for a few hours. 

__________________________________________

He finds himself skipping stones. He’s not very good at it, but the small splashes each rock makes is soothing. He watches the ripples and the concentric evidence of change. He has no idea how much he’s let his guard down until he’s interrupted. 

“You suck at this.”

Sio gives a startled curse, and flings the rock in his hands like a shuriken in the direction of the voice. A hand reaches out from the dense canopy of leaves and snatches it out of the air, followed by a figure. It’s a girl, probably about his age, not that you could tell from her height. She’s tiny, with a shock of white hair, wearing a simple red yukata. She laughs, tossing the rock back towards him. 

“Little jumpy, are we?” 

Sio lets the rock bounce off his chest, raking a hand through his hair. He gives her a sheepish smile. 

“Maybe a little. I didn’t think anyone else was out here.”

“Come out here for a little peace and quiet?” She comes to stand next to him on the riverbank. “It’s a beautiful spot. I like to run away here too. What’s your name?”

“Sio. What about you?” 

No family name, as is shinobi custom. 

“Faye.” 

The peaceful moment is disturbed by the body floating down the river. Faye inhales sharply beside him, stepping out onto the water with ease. She’s a shinobi too, then. She flips the body belly up to see the family crest - Senju family, not one of his allies. She lets the body float away. 

“War is a terrible thing, isn’t it? For everyone.” She crosses the river before turning to look at him. She crouches to pick up a rock, skipping it across the surface perfectly to land at his feet. “Maybe I’ll see you again sometime.” 

With that, she’s gone, disappearing into the woods. 

__________________________________________

He does see her again, a few months later. And again a few months after that. It becomes a small constant spark of light in his otherwise dreary life. They meet by the river. They skip rocks, and eventually they start sparring together. Faye is impressively strong, and Sio finds himself taking more hits than he planned. They leave their chakra and jutsus out of it, neither wanting to give up the bit of anonymity that keeps their friendship functioning. Faye doesn’t know that he’s the Uchiha clan heir. Sio doesn’t know who she is either, and he doesn’t want to find out. If she turns out to be the enemy, he already knows he cannot bring himself to hate this girl with a bright smile and vibrant rage and warm heart. 

They talk of what it would be like to have peace, to have the fighting stop and to not be afraid of losing their family. Sio lost a little sister last week to a group of Senju child-killers. He’s so tired of digging graves for his family. He’s joined the ranks of active warriors now, and still can’t protect them. 

“What if there was a place where all shinobi clans could live in peace?” 

They’re flat on their backs staring up at the clouds, both exhausted after a few hours of sparring. Sio snorts. 

“It’s a nice thought, but it would never happen. Too much bad blood on all sides already. Too many people on revenge quests.”

He includes himself in that demographic. She rolls over to look at him. 

“Exactly. This is hard on everyone, and no one is innocent. All the more reason for the clan heads to see reason and broker a peace.” 

Sio can’t see his father forgiving and forgetting anytime soon, but he can’t bring himself to crush the hope in Faye’s eyes. 

“What kind of place?” 

“A village maybe? Somewhere pretty, with lots of room and natural shelter.”

“Maybe right here.” Sio sits up and pushes his chin towards the forest below the cliff face where they sit. “It’s pretty protected from the wind, and the river is right there.”

She smiles at him, and it feels like the sun itself. It’s infectious, and Sio can’t help but join her in this dream for a happier future. 

__________________________________________

Wrios falls into step with him as they head to the battlefield. They’re just 15, but it's old enough. Sio is already an accomplished warrior, as is his brother. Wrios’ sharingan spins, active since he held Taun-Yam in his arms as the life faded from her little body. The forest goes cold, shards of ice swirling and ripping into flesh. 

“The demon of the Uchiha,” they whisper, “Wisejobssio Uchiha.”

It’s the last thing they say at all. Sio doesn’t regret it. He refuses to regret the things he does to protect the family he has left. Deep in his heart though, he holds onto the fragile dream of a safe haven. He holds onto Faye’s smile, and hopes that one day he can know her for real. 

__________________________________________

Wrios follows him. He tells their father about the girl he saw Sio with, that he knows she’s a shinobi. He has such absolute faith in Sio that he proudly declares it a successful covert gathering of intel. The Uchiha elders believe it too, and decide to take her hostage. Sio can do nothing to stop it, and nods numbly, but he’s breaking. 

__________________________________________

They meet at the river again, but Faye does not cross as usual. 

“I can’t stay today.” Sio calls out to her. “I’ve got more important things to do. You know how it is.”

She smiles, but it’s tense. 

“Same goes for me.”

They throw their stones, catching them deftly.

RUN says the stone in his hands, not so different from his own message of TRAP, GO. They both jump backwards in time to avoid the other ninja flooding in. 

“SENJU SCUM!” his father Jarund roars, and Sio’s heart freezes in his chest. Senju? In front of him stand Dusan and Malakai Senju, facing off against his own father and brother. The gods must truly hate him. His eyes start burning, three black dots swirling into a newly red backdrop, as something in him breaks. 

“DIE, UCHIHA!” Malakai is the first to move. 

Sio throws a kunai just in time to deflect the blade heading straight for Wrios, and Faye does the same for a shuriken heading towards Malakai. 

“Enough!” Sio shouts. “We need to retreat. Faye is stronger than I am, this is not a fight we can win.” 

It doesn’t hurt him as much to admit that as it should, especially when Wrios gives him such a shocked look. He keeps his eyes on Faye. “The next time we meet will be on the battlefield.”

She nods at him. 

“I won’t hold back.”

Shinobi don’t show their emotions after all. If everything Sio touches for the next week turns to ice, that’s his business. 

__________________________________________

The following years are bad. Resources are dwindling, and spirits are low. Sio and Faye have both become their clan heads, watching their fathers die in combat.  Faye gets some monikers of her own: master healer, god of shinobi, master of chakra infused strikes. They’ve crossed each other too many times on too many battlegrounds. Sio’s never been able to force himself to go for a killing blow, and the fact that he’s alive allows him to believe that the sentiment is mutual. 

“It’s still an option, Sio.” Faye whispers as they struggle against each other. “We’re the heads of our clan. It’s still possible.”

“It’s not.” Sio snarls back, icy cold chakra flaring against the raw energy of Faye’s. “The Uchiha elders will never let it happen. Not while our children are still hunted and killed.”

Anger crosses Faye’s eyes.

“The Uchiha kill children too.” 

“I know.”

They’re just 19. 

__________________________________________

It comes to an ugly head when Sio turns just in time to see Malakai drive his sword through Wrios’s heart. It’s a fatal wound, and they all know it. Sio can’t do anything but cradle his brother’s body as he dies. No one attempts to attack him, and he isn't sure if that’s due to Faye holding her brother back, or the spinning pips in his sharingan, or the icy blasts of wind forcing everyone away. 

When Wrios has gone stiff in his arms the wind finally stops, heavy drifts of snow cover the area. Sio wishes he could be angry, but he’s just so tired. 

Faye kneels beside him, weapons on the ground behind her. Her voice is flat. 

“It’s impossible then. That dream of ours is truly gone.” 

Sio looks down at his brother, and can’t bring himself to fight anymore. He shakes his head. He can see it in his mind. A peaceful town, where shinobi of many clans live together. There’s laughing and joy. Children grow up without the shadow of war. He wants it more than anything. He wanted it for Wrios. 

“No.” He takes a shaking breath. “This ends. No more dead siblings.” 

[thats-how-i-role]

Happy Finale Day Everyone!!

[valhallan]

Spoilers out of context - IWD 07/30/2023

[sorrow-already-spoiled]

Ferns: Hanahaki AU

Ferns. Sio was coughing up ferns. He couldn’t explain it, but he was woken up in the night frequently by the need to pull the fluid and blood soaked leaves from his throat before they choked him to death. 

Sio woke up slowly. It was today. He glanced over at the clock on his nightstand. It read 8:32 AM. Rowen would be here in an hour to drive him to the hospital. His stomach grumbled, but he wasn’t allowed to eat as part of the surgery preparation. Just a few more hours and he would be able to breath without feeling like he was going to suffocate. His lungs would be free of the roots and ferns that had been plaguing his life for over a year now. 

He remembered when he first met Thruun, by happenstance while traveling in Norway. They had spent the rest of their trip together, and had been shocked to realize they actually both lived in the same city. They had maintained a casual relationship that could only really be described as “something with benefits”. Sio isn’t entirely sure what it was that made him fall in love, but he knew enough about Thruun to know that it wouldn’t be received well, let alone reciprocated. So he shoved his feelings down. He answered the 2:00 AM phone calls and took what he could get, even if it left him feeling hollow inside. He started coughing up ferns not long after. 

For a long time, Sio refused to tell anyone about it, and when it was just the occasional leaf, it wasn’t so bad. He knew what Hanahaki Disease was of course, his mother was an herbalist after all. When he coughed up an entire frond while at lunch with Rowen he couldn’t exactly keep it a secret from her anymore. 

He so desperately didn’t want surgery, but when the condition worsened, and he could barely breathe anymore, and the ferns were coming up soaked with blood he had to start considering it as an option. Scans of his lungs showed that the roots were leaving scars that would do permanent, irreversible damage if not dealt with quickly. Sio thought of his moms, of his dad, of his siblings, and the new little one on the way that he would never meet if he died. He couldn’t leave them yet. He booked a surgery date. 

He had been dreading today. The surgery would remove the threat of the disease, yes. But it would also remove any trace of the love he felt for Thruun, now and forever. He would simply feel nothing about the other man at all. It sounded so lonely. 

The sound of his phone ringing disturbed his thoughts. The called ID read “Thruun, Lord of the Wilds,” (an inside joke between the two of them, with Sio’s contact name in Thruun’s phone being “Sio, King of Nothing.”). God, he couldn’t do this today. He answered the call anyway. 

“Hey.” 

“Hello little bird. How are you this morning?” 

“Fine. How are you?”

“Just fine? Maybe I can fix that, unless you’ve got other plans this afternoon?”

“Sorry Thruun, I actually am busy today. And I probably will be for the next little bit. I’ve just got a lot of stuff going on right now, I’m sorry.” The line went silent for a few moments that seemed to stretch out forever. 

“No need to apologize for a busy schedule. No worries at all. I won’t keep you then.”

“Ok, I’m sorry. Goodbye, I’m sorry.” Sio hung up before Thruun could even say anything in response. 

Rowen showed up right on time. It was painfully easy to check in to the hospital, to change into the faded green surgery gown, to meet the surgeon. The man, Doctor Dreali North, smiled at him gently. 

“Don’t worry Mr. Elkhardt. When you wake up, they won’t be able to hurt you any more. You won’t feel a thing throughout the surgery, it’s just like taking a little nap.”

True to his word, the next thing Sio knew, his vision was going dark and he was drifting through nothingness. He woke to a sensation of warmth in both his hands, and opened his eyes to see one being held by Rowen, the other by Enjo. They stopped their quiet conversation when they noticed he was awake. 

“Sio! Welcome back!”

“How do you feel?” Sio looked down at his chest and inhaled deeply. 

“It hurts less. I thought it would ache, or feel hollow, but there’s just…. Nothing.” He glanced out the window. It was just starting to turn from Autumn to Winter, and a few stray snowflakes were drifting past the window on a breeze. “It feels like nothing.” He didn’t see the worried glance that Enjo and Rowen shared. 

There was a quiet knock at the door and Dr. North entered the room with a small sterile trolly. 

“How do you feel? Any pain? The painkillers should still be working fairly well, but I always like to check in and see how my patients are doing.” Sio shook his head.

“I feel fine, no pain. It’s all good.”

“That’s great, I’m glad to hear it Mr. Elkhardt.” Dreali glanced over at the screen monitoring Sio’s vitals, taking a few notes. “Now, this surgery is relatively unobtrusive so you should be good to go home in a few hours so long as you’ll have some support, which it looks like you do. There is just one other matter to decide upon before I sign your release paperwork.” He stepped back towards the trolly, removing the lid of a tray on it. There, roots and all, were a collection of beautiful, but dying, ferns. “What would you like to do with these?”

Sio’s heart ached just looking at them. He swore for a moment that they curled towards him as if longing to return home. He couldn’t bear to look at them for any longer so he squeezed his eyes shut tightly. 

“Just throw them out, I don’t care.” After a moment’s pause he heard the tray lid be replaced.

“Very well, I’ll make sure that’s what gets done if that’s your choice. I’m glad the surgery went well, and for what it’s worth, I’m sorry Mr. Elkhardt. I know none of this could have been easy.” 

Sio just stared out the window again. 

The weeks following the surgery were a little painful as the scar healed, but otherwise uneventful. He received a great deal of calls and messages from Thruun, but honestly, he just couldn’t be bothered to answer half the time. There was a void where there had once been feelings so intense they had choked him. It was a shock to Sio when, after two months of nothing, he began to feel the ache in his heart. And a few days later, he coughed up a green leaf. 

He immediately contacted Dr. North, who was shocked to see that his condition had returned. 

“I’ve never seen this before in a patient who chose to throw away the plant. It’s very odd. Sometimes, if the plant we remove is cared for enough, it will reroot itself, even from a distance, but I’m certain that I threw your ferns out. I’d like to run some more tests if that’s alright with you?”

“Whatever it takes.” Sio was exhausted.

Thruun was having him over for dinner. Just dinner, he had explained, though Sio doubted it was really just dinner. Thruun’s apartment was overgrown as usual, with plants overflowing from every corner of the room, vines crawling across the support beams in the ceiling, collections of pots on every shelf. Sio watched from the couch as Thruun added some finishing touches to the meal, some fancy ethnic dish he couldn’t hope to pronounce. He had been here a hundred times, but there were always new things to look at. The small terracotta pot in the window ledge caught his attention though. 

It was full of ferns. Familiar ones that were stretching towards Sio as if in longing. He immediately began to cough violently, his mouth filling full of green. Thruun crossed the room and knelt in front of him. His thumb pressed against Sio’s chin.

“Open up.” Sio didn’t really have a choice if he wanted to breathe in enough air to not pass out. Thruun’s fingers slid into Sio’s mouth and drew out the frond, seemingly uncaring that it was covered in blood. “You know, I had to find out for myself about your condition.” He stood, and brought the frond over to the kitchen sink, rinsing it off carefully. “You never removed me as a contact for FindMyPhone, and it pinged when you got to the hospital. The nurse at the front desk was very helpful. She told me why you were there. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I was so shocked then.” He cut the end off the frond and placed it in a vial of water to propagate it, adding it to a rack of other plants in the same state that hung on the wall. Sio began to protest, babbling a string of nonsense, but Thruun shushed him. “I couldn’t understand why you didn’t tell me about it, but then I realized it must have been me. I was the one you were in love with. Am I wrong about that?”

Sio’s face immediately grew warm. This was not how he had pictured the evening going. It wasn’t like he could lie about it. He was a terrible liar, and Thruun always seemed to have a sixth sense for it anyways. 

“You’re not wrong. But I didn’t want to bother you with it, you were very clear about your expectations from the start and it’s my fault for catching feelings in the first place, trust me it was a whole experience really and it was kind of a mess, but I didn’t want to–” Sio was cut off by Thruun rolling his eyes and kissing him firmly. Sio’s eyes flew open wide in shock, as Thruun’s fingers found their way to his jaw again. He pulled away slowly.

“I was furious at myself because I was too late, and I had no idea how you really felt about me. I found the ferns in a back alley, and I just couldn’t let them die. I wanted to hold on to the little piece of your affection there was left.” 

“Why would you care about that? I don’t understand.” Thruun raised an eyebrow. 

“You’re a little slow on the uptake today, aren’t you. This is me, trying to tell you that I care about you a great deal, little bird.” It wasn’t quite ‘I love you’, but Sio couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face anyways. 

“Really?”

“Really.” The smile turned into an outright grin, and Sio felt the ache in his chest fade completely. 

Hours later, when the pair were curled up on the couch, Sio would come to a realization half way through an episode of Yuri on Ice.

“Wait, if I had just told you how I felt in the first place I wouldn’t have had to have surgery at all?! I ate nothing but soup for two whole weeks!”

[flycatchxr]

AU Week 2022

Wednesday: Wisejobssio - Genshin Impact

"My weapon doesn't distinguish from friend or foe."

[wisejobssio]

Newest drawing of ya boi

Please don’t mind the awful background and cropping… 😔

[valhallan]

// I let this sit in my unfinished wips too long and now I don’t know if I like it enough to make a full ref for ;-; //

But anyway, here is lvl one Enjo, he’s ready to see the world and make Auril happy. :D

Edit: might repost later bc fsr the quality evaporated immediately

[ameriel]

[thats-how-i-role]

Sio: What does “submissive and breedable” mean?

Julien: it means ugly and bitchy.

Sio: You look submissive and breedable.

[astriiformes]

WHAT

[greed-the-dorkalicious]

Hi, Wizards of the Coast? I’d like to pitch my new wizard subclass, Vore Mage,

[astriiformes]

hey alex do accept constructive criticism on your reblogs

[greed-the-dorkalicious]

Yeah, why? Do you not like the name? I’m a little iffy on it myself, how about “Vorelock” instead?

[astriiformes]

CEASE THIS

[sol1loqu1st]

vorecerer,

[astriiformes]

C E A S E

[emi--rose]

@anonymousalchemist

[ruinati0n]

[dorites-deactivated20241117]

one day i will be Strong and punch the sun 

[a-nice-frog]

uhh yeah…pretty sure that’s not possible so uhh…

[dorites-deactivated20241117]

i will punch it

[a-nice-frog]

look buddy. if you try and punch the sun ur hand is just gonna get burned up… not really sure what you’re expecting here…

[dorites-deactivated20241117]

im gonna punch it real hard

[ameriel]

not gonna finish this but uhhhhhhh i dont hate it either. some random inn