Summary: When Howzer gets unexpected help to escape his execution, he ends up falling to your feet, exhausted and injured. And while heās all but happy at the beginning to be stuck for an unknown amount of time... the two of you slowly fall in love with each other.
A redraw of my favorite scene from The Outpost. As usual, I am blown away by every episode of The bad Batch. To see Crosshair not only be vulnerable but to turn a new leaf was captivating.
What you can see here are among the most popular posts of the last month for the convin (Connor/Gavin Detroit Become Human) tag for the last month. And presumably popular in lollipop, cityscape, rick day, eva long, dostoyevsky, and all the other random, unrelated tags added to these posts.
You can see two identical posts made by separate bots that feature a bit.ly (so, disguised, you don't know whether the address is safe/where you're going) link to a website that contains an image of a pretty young women (but who knows what else).
Each post is liked by about a dozen other bots, and only bots. (I reported them all, so can confirm their profiles were obviously those of bots/porn bots.) Some of them even use the same image in the pfp. Some are developed blogs full of porn images, some are clearly newer and don't even have a pfp yet. They are all gaining legitimacy from each other by the likes which act as links to their Tumblrs, and adding legitimacy to the post they have liked, which links to their ultimate goal: the site where they make money in undoubtedly dodgy ways.
They are doing this to legitimise their websites for search engines like Google, but if you don't care about that, it has the same effect in your Tumblr tags.
If we don't stop them, ALL your favourite hashtags are going to be full of meaningless posts like this, and probably porn you don't want to see (very different from porn you DO want to see).
This is why we report and block, lads. Not just because they are annoying and irrelevant to us, but because if we don't stop them they will take over this hellsite, and they very clearly do not understand the nature of the hell in which we live.
Shame and anger come up in you. Shocked at yourself, angry at having become weak, you have to face a decision.
____________
What Happened Before:
Enemy Mine
Part 2 - No Way Out
Part 3 - Turning Tables
Part 4 - Beneath The Surface
Part 5 - Priorities
Part 6 - Choices
Tech tossed Wrecker the rock he had left in the engine room.
"Stop dragging those stupid rocks into my ship".
Wrecker picked up the stone and said, "I like stones, I often prefer them to people."
Crosshair grumbled half seriously, "Got the same IQ as a rock anyway"
"Stop acting like an asshole" Echo grumbled calmly.
Crosshair gave him a disparaging look and said, " At least I still have one"
Echo rolled his eyes, sighed wearily and said quietly, "Congratulations" he was unwilling to be provoked by the Sniper yet again.
"Okay I just noticed that we start acting like idiots as soon as we are left alone by Hunter for a longer period of time," Tech muttered.
Echo nodded in agreement and said, "About time we picked up our chief."
Tech said with relief, "Indeed. The hyperdrive is working again too"
Wrecker jumped up and ran up the ramp, nearly knocking Tech down in the process.
"Then what are we waiting for?!" he rumbled.
The two of you had cleaned yourselves up and were getting dressed. Again and again, your eyes fell on the data stick in the corner of the ruin, where Hunter had thrown it. Your glances did not escape him, of course.
Of course, he was faster than you and grabbed the stick before you were even remotely dressed. Furious and avoiding his gaze, you dressed completely. Part of you was disgusted with yourself for allowing primitive lust to make you drop all your shells and principles. You felt dirty. Even though the experience had been very sensual, intense and pleasant, you felt ashamed of it.
You were sure he had played with you to get what he wanted. He had won. Now you really had a problem.
Out of the corner of your eye you saw him coming closer. Surprised, you finally looked up as he stood very close to you. You were more than confused, to say the least, when he wrapped one arm around you and pulled you close. The free hand of the other arm rested on your cheek.
You looked at him wordlessly. Why did he do that? He had what he wanted. He could stop playing games with you. But as you looked into his eyes, one thing became clear. Hunter wasn't playing games.
He could not help himself. Since the moment your scent, your smell had reached his nose and flooded his senses, an unstoppable process had begun. Even if he wanted to, he could not defend himself against it. But he didn't want to anyway. The attraction he felt emanating from you was deep, strong, and perhaps a bit primitive, primal.
He saw the confusion in your gaze, already thinking that you probably wouldn't understand what was going on inside him, why he was behaving that way. To you, he suspected, Hunter was still the antagonist, and he felt your shame for giving yourself to him.
"My offer still stands. You can switch sides. You could come with me."
When you didn't answer, he swallowed and said, "Or I could drop you off at a neutral spaceport, from there you can go... wherever you want."
Your hand automatically reached for the pocket on his armor where he had put the stick. But Hunter intercepted your hand before you could actually reach the pocket.
"Don't," he said gently.
His grip was not rough, but strong and determined. He won't let you take the stick away from him again. You resisted his grip, whereupon he gently but firmly pushed you against one of the still standing walls of the ruin.
"Stop it."
His voice was still calm and gentle.
You still tried to reach for it and he twisted your wrist in his grip, not too hard or abrupt, slowly, applying pressure. You knew if you forced him to he could really hurt you in that grip, maybe even break the joint.
Still calm, he said, "Come on. I don't want to hurt you. Don't make me get rough."
Without thinking, the words, "Maybe I'll like it," crossed your lips.
You were surprised yourself. Where did this statement suddenly come from? Your heart raced as he looked at you urgently, his eyes darkening again.
"Are you sure about that?"
He couldn't be horny again.... Or could he?
You answered truthfully, "I don't know. It could be. I've never tried it, but the thought is kind of.... appealing."
"You want to try it?"
His hands grabbed both of your wrists and pinned them to the wall above your head with one of his strong hands. His mouth descended rapidly on your neck, nibbling and sucking at the sensitive skin, licking over your wild pulse. You felt as if you were dissolving willlessly in his grip, under his touch. Your pulse raced towards him.
"Hunter come in please."
Hunter paused in his movement and sighed when he heard Tech's voice. Hunter let go of you and activated his comm.
"This is Hunter. Where are you?"
"On approach to your comm's ping position. We will be landing in a few minutes"
"Roger that. I have the package and am ready for pickup. You guys sure took your time"
After a brief pause he heard Tech say, "We had technical difficulties. They are fixed now though"
"Roger that. I'll be waiting for you guys here. If you see an old ruin, you're in the right place."
Turning to you, he said, "It looks like we'll have to change our plan. Besides, you should make a decision now.
You tugged at your clothes, which had become a bit disheveled.
"Whether I want to come with you or be dropped off at a neutral port?"
Hunter nodded.
With a sigh, you said, "I can't go back. My boss is a little, shall we say shady. I don't think I'll get off that easy if I show up empty-handed."
You could see he was sympathetic to your situation and also felt compassion as he said, "I'm sorry about that. But you know I had no choice but to take the stick."
"Maybe," you said evasively.
"So, what's your decision?"
"What if I come with you? What happens then? As far as I know, you clones are not allowed to form personal bonds. Where do you want me to go then? Do you want to hide me from the rest of the world?"
You can see from his face that he has already thought about this.
"I know people you could stay with for the time being. They could help you find work and build a new life. I could come visit you there."
He sounded hopeful and a small smile twitched around the corners of his mouth.
You shrugged and said, "Sounds better than being on my own."
"You won't regret it," he promised.
When you heard the sound of a shuttle landing he said, " That' s my brothers".
You muttered, "I can't wait to hear how they take the news of another passenger."
Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort, mention of previous sex, canon typical violence, death (no major character)
A/N: FINALLY!!!! The last part of Exigengy!!! Itās my favourite story I wrote by now and truthfully I'm very sad that it ends.
If you want to read from the start here are part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4
The biggest 'Thank you' to the lovely @paintedprisms for donating her OC's Nexus Squad. I couldnāt have done it without you. And another for my beloved Howzer. ā¤ļø You are a true inspiration.
Summary: If he thought the last seven days have been an emotional rollercoaster, Howzer hast to admit that this day puts the whole thing on another level. Does he have to leave more than just Ryloth behind when he finds himself hijacking a spaceship?
Darkness fills the ravines and valleys carved deep into Ryloth's surfaceā¦
ā¦ and the headlights of a YT-2400 freighter, parked on a plateau, only dimly illuminate the rugged dark red rock faces with their otherwise blinding white light.
At a fair distance a shadow lies on a ledge. His breath is even and his body holds perfectly still, not even moving for a fraction of an inch, while he lies on his front, bracing himself against the ledge with his forearms. He keeps his bodyās center of gravity low, while heās watching through the scope of his 773-firepuncher sniper rifle as a band of Ryll bootleggers busily haul metal crates aboard. The display shows the outlines and heat signatures of six armed Twi'leks guarding the process and another four who carry the crates. No bad odds at all, even if thereās probably a pilot on the ship he canāt spot yet. The fairly large number of boxes on several speeders leads him to assume that loading will take some time. Goodā¦ gives him enough time to carry out his actual instructionsā¦ Adjusting his position, lithe and silent like a deadly panther, he now oversees the entrance of the gorge. Much to his dismay, he canāt perceive any person or movement. Minutes passā¦
āCome onā¦ where are you?ā
āGive me one single reason why I should leave?ā
āI love you.ā
Maker! Your heart still races like a galloping fathier when you just think back to that moment. The tension after his confession was crackling in the air between you, the endless silence almost unbearable. But youā¦ you just could notā¦
You still remember his golden gaze as it rested on you. Imbued with hope and fear alike. He held his breath, as if he was afraid to scare you off if he would move or make a single sound. And yet it wasnāt him who scared you. It was your very own insecurity that had you freeze. Unable to breathe - let alone to speak.
He gave you as much time as he couldā¦ and when he ran out of timeā¦ he gave you a silent nod. The shaky breath that left him rang in your ears. You swore you saw tears in his eyes. And yet, before they could fall, he turned away from you, grabbed his packed bag and vanished out of your sight without another word. The sound your door made as it closed behind him mingled with your ragged exhale. Hot tears ran down your cheeks even before your knees hit the ground.
That was some time agoā¦
and you still kneel on the cold stone floor in the middle of your dwelling with your face buried in your palms in a desperate attempt to hide your grief. Your sobs echo in the room that is much too empty without him. You'll probably never be able to light the lanterns again or sit at your table without thinking about himā¦ Howzerā¦, about the evenings you shared, the sweet smile and his honeyed gaze you've met across the table during your conversations more than once. You will never be able to slip under the warm covers of your bed again without longing for his arms, remembering how he held you night after night.
Itās over now.
Youāve been on your own here for so long. So why does it hurt so excruciatingly that heās gone? Because you are a weak and spineless silly! You told yourself time and again heās not going to stay. He was a fleeting distraction from your usual solitude. Youā¦ You should have heeded your own warnings and not embarked on something that was bound to end before it even started. Yet you didnāt; and now all you can do is to forget him. But shit! How are you supposed to forget those golden brown eyes, the black hair and a smile that should be declared illegal, when you couldnāt resist their attraction right from the start?
Still sobbing you raise; your legs are almost too weak to carry you. As if in a trance, you walk over to the bed, on which the crumpled, stained sheets are evidence of your lovemaking. With every wobbly step you get closer you can smell the scent of the previous night better. And vague as a mirage you see him lying there, smiling in his sleep and his arms wrapped tightly around you, to hold you close and protect you from the outside. But when you reach out your hand to touch himā¦ itās not his warm skin that you feel beneath your fingertips but the cold sheets. Youād love to feel him again. To hide your face in his neck and breathe him in.
Absent-mindedly you grab the pillow and bring it up to your chest. You cradle it as if you would hold him, cursing yourself that you missed the moment to tell him how you feel. You press your tear-stained face in the pillow, inhaling his intoxicating warm scent, and mouth those three words you should have said in return when he was still standing in front of you. Now itās too late, and their meaning threatens to eat you alive.
āAaahhhhh,ā you scream into the void that he left, your voice muffled by your pillow. āI miss you, sweety.ā
You wonder if heās going to miss you, too. For a while? For a lifetime? Not at all? Captain Howzer is a man who has been used to acting unceremoniously his whole life, itās what the training on Kamino and a cruel war has made of him. Itās the reason why he stuck to the plan and left, even though he has to hurt himself by doing so. He had no choiceā¦
Force! The words of your conversation from the other day sink in your consciousness. āYou always have a choice. Only the consequences differ, and you have to decide whether you want to bear them.ā
He already changed and became someone different. He took the consequences - and with his plea he gave you the chance to follow suit. Like he did for his brothers. You let out another stifling cry. Heā¦ treatedā¦ youā¦ likeā¦ hisā¦ brothers!!!! He treated you like the ones who mean the most to him.
Now that you think about itā¦ What are the consequences? You can either stay here and dream about a dream you were too afraid to live - or you can try your best to make it come true. You can either think back to a handsome stranger who fell at your feet - or you can make him the love of your life. You can stay at home and be contented that you stayed true to yourself - or you can the fuck bring up your nerves and bite the bullet. And then be proud of yourself. Yes! Thatās what you should do. And in case it really doesnāt work out with the two of you - thereās nothing wrong with coming back. Sure, you donāt know whatās awaiting you, and the chance for you to get injured or even die when you are on the run with him is a constant threat. But just because you stay doesnāt mean you are safe. The very next time you visit Lessu, you could be imprisoned or get killed.
What is it you need to start a new life? The answer is that simple. Nothing more than the credits you have and what you wear... And the courage to begin.
And without wasting another second you run over to your dresser, hastily throwing your chain code, spare credits and the keycard of your apartment in Lessu in your purse. In your hurry you almost miss. You dress some clothes that you think might be useful, no matter your destination, and put on your boots. Itās only at your door that you stop and look back. The lanterns are out, in your kitchenette the dirty dishes from last evening pile up, the sheets in your bed are disheveled. If somebody would come to look for you, they might think youāll be back soon. Perfect. And if you maybe will come back one dayā¦ youāll find everything you need from a shelter.
Nowā¦ be brave!
Your heartās beating quickly and your breathing is even faster as you start running down the gorges towards the direction of the given coordinates. Panic rises inside you and constricts your chest. What if you are too late? You canāt be. You just canāt take it to lose him again, now that you know heās all that you want. The scattered gravel hurts even through the soles of your boots, and more than once you scratch along the rugged rock face. But for all you are worth, you keep running, forcing yourself till complete exhaustion. Almost funny that it all started out like this one week ago. That it was him running towards you till he found himself lying in your arms. The memory of that dayā¦ it gives you wings.
Howzer purses his lips and picks his way down into the canyon. The ground is uneven and perilous, just as the upcoming escape, thankfully giving him a reason to concentrate on. Otherwise he would probably just think about you all the time. But in his actual situation, he better not make a mistake or it will be his last. He can't allow himself to mourn the love he left behind. Aaaandā¦ He does it again. It beats him how it all could have happened like it did. He could have sworn that no woman would ever be able to mess him up like that and capture his every thought. He is - was - a trooper, designed for war, not emotional skirmish. Kriff!!!
The few times he had a random hookup over the years, he'd asked himself if there could ever be more to him than stolen time. And he was sure that it was out of the question. He didn't want anything that was against the rules, regulations and routine, keeping him from his destiny.
So what was it that changed his mind about relationships? You! The insight comes so suddenly that he has no chance to suppress it. The inescapability of choosing between being on the run and helping those brothers who can withstand the influence of the inhibitor chips like him, or hiding in a dwelling cave on Ryloth but with you by his side, has almost torn him since the first night, when he fell asleep in your arms. He tried to fight against his own convictions - and lost. It is only at this moment that he realizes that there can be no satisfactory solution. No. You should have come with him. Together you could have forged plans and make it work. Over time you would have ā¦It doesnāt matter what could have been. As it is now you are just a āwhat if?ā - a missed opportunity and a bittersweet memory. You doubted thereās a chance for the two of you - he was ready to fight all odds. It wasnāt up to him to tell you what to do.
He used to love Rylothā¦ The Twiālek, the red mountainside and the irreconcilable barrier between night and day. Now he doesnāt have an eye for the surrounding beauty, walking through it for the last time. He is so engrossed in his grief that he almost fails to hear the approaching footsteps from behind. But they are getting louder and louder finding their way into his perception. Whoever comes closer runs like hell and doesn't bother to be quiet. So itās not someone trying to sneak up on him and kill him.
Howzer closes his eyes, unable to resist the fervent wish that when he opens them again, he will see you. He doesn't have to wait that longā¦
āHowzer!ā
There it isā¦ your voice, calling for him. Ever so slowly he turns around and lets his gaze fall on the most beautiful sight. His heart leaps. You are there, agitated and out of breath. Almost as quiet as the last time he saw you - but this time for a different reason. Itās a long time in which you just look at each other, neither of you daring to close the final gap between you. The backpack heās carrying hits the ground and your eyes follow it. But if he loses your attention right now, he fears to never get this moment back. His fingers move to your chin, gently urging you to look at him as he breaks the silence. It takes him five seconds to realize that his hands are actually trembling. Kriffinā hell! He was so scared that heād lose you forever.
āI thought you wouldnāt come.ā
His breath hitches as you reach out your hand and skim his cheek with the tips of your fingers. The touch is so soft and gentle, waking him from a nightmare and calming his fear.
āI wasnāt sure if Iād come,ā you whisper. Your eyes adding a āsorryā that your mouth doesnāt speak.
He still hears it and heād say that you donāt have to be sorry because all that matters is that you are here with him now, beside him as before and turning the darkness in his thoughts into light. But his voice fails.
āIām scared of the future,ā you confess and look up at him with those vulnerable eyes.
Your tongue snakes out to wet your perfect lips, which are now shiny and so inviting. He wants this moment to last forever. Or at least to imprint it in his memory. He wantsā¦
āYou donāt have to,ā he responds, leaning closer till his lips are just inches from yours and he can feel your breath on him.
āYouā¦ only can say that because you are strong and resilientā¦ Fearless. So different from me.ā
If you only knew. And besides, he might argue that you are strong and fearless too. How would you have survived in the canyons for so long otherwise? Wasnāt it you who led him to Dryshaa to find an escape? Wasnāt it you who negotiated for his safety without a second thought? And wasnāt it also you who finally decided out of free will to follow him? Yet he feels this is not what you need to hear right now.
āI promise that I wonāt let anything happen to you. Iāll protect you. Weāre going to leave this planet behind andā¦ā
He trails off. His whole body urges him to take advantage of the situation and feel you close. He wants to lose himself in you like he did last night. But his prudence keeps him in check. Untilā¦
āI love you,ā you finally say the words and your voice is soft, yet as steady as can be.
Even before the last syllable has faded, he seizes you and pulls you flush against him, tighter than he ever did. A surge of sweet, hot desire takes hold of him and makes his heart slamming against his ribcage. Howzer isnāt sure where this is all going, but if he doesnāt contain himself right now, youād be probably missing your flight when you go as far as he wants to. Cupping your face tenderly, Howzer tilts it back to look at you as if heās about to drown in your eyes.
āI know,ā he chuckles softly. āI love you, too.ā
He mumbles the last words against your lips, finally surrenders to the temptation. Your lips touch his and he still can taste his own arousal on you. He laces his fingers in your hair and feels the strands between his rough fingers, thumbs caressing your cheekbones, as he brushes the tip of his tongue against your lips, enticing you to open your mouth for him. And you do with a contented sigh. He meets your tongue with his own, gentlyā¦ softlyā¦ tentatively until they mingle in a slow, erotic dance as a promise of more to come. So much more. A feeling of happiness rushes through him like never before in his life. Did you really think you could break away from each other and this love so easily? You are clearly meant for each otherā¦ the Force told you so.
The sound of falling stones brings you back to Ryloth.
Hastily Howzer tears away from you, getting exasperated with himself for being unobservant. His nerves are on edge. Frantically, he searches the rock formation for pursuers. But there is no one to be seen anywhere. His guts convulse. If something were to happen to you nowā¦
On instinct alone, Howzer pushes you backwards, forcing you to stand behind him while he's shielding you with his body just as a dark silhouette jumps off the nearest rock and lands in front of his feet. He launches a jab at the shadow just as he draws the blaster with his left hand but then an arm jolts up and blocks his hit. Adrenaline rushes through him, blurring his vision, and he uses the momentum to spin his arm around the assailant's one, aiming another punch at his shoulder to knock him off balance. But whoever this is, already anticipated the attack and jerks back his shoulder. Although Howzer hits him this time it's not nearly as forceful as he intended to. So he winds back for a split second and then explodes forward with a sharp spin and a snap of his arm, his clenched fist colliding into a firm chest. The shadow bends in half with a grunt and Howzer takes the safety catch of his blaster off with a soft click.
Maybe it's because his every thought is about you and the sheer panic that anything could happen to you lets him react slower than usual, or maybe it's the Force alone that makes sure the blaster is flung out of his grip with a kick even before he can shoot at the other man.
āHowzer! Stop it! Itās meā¦ ā
Itās the voice that brings him back to his senses and as the red veil slowly vanishes from his vision, he stares at a familiar face.
āFelyx?ā
āYes,ā the clone responds, his voice still strained from his pain.
Howzer watches him dumbfounded to say the least. And as if time stands still for the moment, both men stare at each other, still processing what just happened. He thought he'd never see that face again with the tiny tattooed letters forming the word āluckā along the temple, partially hidden by a black curl. The last time he saw it was when its owner put on his helmet with a smirk, ready to turn every stone on Ryloth to find Clone Force 99. Only one hour later it was still covered by a black visor, and Felyx was aiming a blaster at him, rooted to the spot, while some of his brothers followed their captainās speech and laid down their arms. The memory of how his brother turned against him still hurts, more than a blastershot wound ever could. The realization hits him suddenly, like a gush of water being thrown in his face, cold as ice. Instead of taking you safely to your means of escape from this planet he once loved like he promised, he led you straight into the enemy's arms. Instead of starting a new life together with you, heās going to dieā¦
Making sure that you are still safe behind him, Howzer plants himself in front of his former brother and throws him a threatening glare.
āIf you lay just one finger on her, I'm going to kill you.ā
Felyx eyes widen in shock and he glances around in search of the blaster, Howzer does the same. Itās out of both menās reach for the moment and none of them dares to launch forward and seize it.
āYou wonāt need to.ā
Ever so slowly raising his arms in surrender, Felyx straightens himself. And then he locks eyes with his captain. For years of battle, they didnāt need words to communicateā¦ to understand what the other wanted to say. And like he did so many times, Howzer searches for an answer in brown eyes identical to his. And for once he isnāt sure about what he sees.
āDo I have permission to speak?ā
āPositive.ā
Felyx takes a deep breath before he begins to speak, itās obvious that he needs to get this off his mind, and the next words hurt him.
āI am not the enemy, Howzer.ā He sighs. āLast week when you came to face the squad and held your remarkable speechā¦ The Force knows how much I wanted to follow you. But there were already so many who followed suit. Nyx the bloody diākut dropped his blaster so fast itās a miracle that he remembered to switch on the safety. And still it wasnāt the whole squad. Crosshair was standing in the back, aiming at youā¦ There was no chance to get out of this situation alive. Youā¦ you have no idea how much it hurt to arrest you. All I could do was to hope there would be some time left till you would be executedā¦ā
You stand next to Howzer, your arm tightly wrapped around his waist, while you both listen to Felyx. Itās almost unbelievable how your point of view has changed in the last few days. Just a little more than one week ago you were riven by grief about the fate of your friend. You blamed the Empire and its clones for all the cruelty. Then you met Howzer and learned that what he did was not something he could control, denied of a free will and controlled by an infernal chip that he somehow defeated at last. You cried with him about the fate of his brothers he left behind and you tried to comfort him when he thought he has to fight an intractable task. Now you face one of those brothers he thought lostā¦ and realize that there is hope. As long as someone is brave enough to stand up and fight for freedom.
Felyx tells how he dared to speak with Ajax that evening and both found themselves on the same side. He tells how they spent night and day to come up with the plan for the rescue. Due to their functions they were able to steal the sonic detonators and manage the firework at the execution ceremony. It was them who followed Howzer on their speederbikes into the canyons, and when they found him safe they went for the others to check on them. They came back to the imperial facilities every day, hoping to leave Rampart unaware of what's going on for as long as possible. Proxi then came up with the idea to hijack a bootlegger's spaceship and they made sure that everyone was in on the plan. When Ajax came to your dwelling with the intent to take Howzer with him, he found it empty and hoped that the captain somehow had the same idea for an escape. If notā¦ they would have come back again tonight with the ship. Thanks to the Force thereās no need.
When he finishes ā¦ all of you stay silent for a while. You still can see the changing expressions on Howzerās face as the emotions rush through him. They are mirroring the ones on his brotherās face. None of them cries, yet Force knows they need to. Maybe another dayā¦ when everything that happened settled down and the waves calmed.
It is then that he moves towards Felyx and wraps one hand around the cloneās neck. Both of them close their eyes as their foreheads touch and youād swear their souls touch too. You canāt hold back the quiver as both whisper something in that beautiful language you donāt understand.
āFelyx, Come in please!ā A voice crackles through the commlink at his forearm. āWhere are you? They'll be done here soon.ā
They loosen from the embrace, both smiling bewitchingly. While Howzer turns towards you and pulls you in for a hug and you can feel how fast his heart is beating against his ribcage, Felyx answers the call.
āGot him! Weāll be there in a minute.ā
With a tilt of his head he implies you to follow him and then itās the first time he addresses you.
āSorry adāika. I forgot my manners. Iām Felyx. And whatās your name, you charming creature?ā
Howzer, ever so quietly, snarls at him as a silent warning. Isā¦ he jealous? That shouldnāt turn you on as much as it does. Yet you still walk a little closer beside him and you can feel him relax as your body brushes his while you move. Felyx snickers as he notices it.
āNo wonder I could come so close till you noticed me. Got a lovely distraction captain. Huh?ā
The scowl on Howzerās face isnāt as threatening as it should be. It only spurs Felyx on to tell you how vigilant his captain used to be once and that you have to be someone special if you managed to lead him astray and distract him the way you do. That alone would be enough to ignite you with a sinful heatā¦ the cheeky smile on the captainās lips beside you almost makes you combust.
One wouldnāt have thought that you are running out of time in your plan to embark a spaceshipā¦ not when you are watching the clones hugging each other and touching their foreheads at their reunion. And every single one of them does the same to you as they introduce themselves one by one.
Lieutenant Nyx, medic of the Nexus squad and Howzerās second-in-command. Proxi, ARC trooper and the one for the dirty jobs. Ajax, BARC and also the one in charge when it comes to making the squad laugh. And Vixus, self-confident pilot and sniper. The one you already met, Felyx, is an ARF and was therefore entrusted with the task to scout the surroundings and look out for Howzerā¦ and you.
Standing among them you still wonder how on Ryloth it turned out like this and that you are obviously a part of a clone squad now. You feel so small and vulnerable next to them. More than once you silently ask yourself if it was the right decision to come. Sureā¦ you came because you love himā¦ because he begged you to. Butā¦ truth to be toldā¦ he never had a relationship before. Can he really appraise what it means to have one? It might be new and exciting to him right nowā¦ what if youā¦ what if heā¦ finds out that you are just not meant for the life he can provide? Will it be too late and you caused fatal damage because you are a hindrance? Will you bring him or one of the others in danger because you just donāt know what to do?
You are so absorbed in your thoughts, that you donāt follow the conversation they have. You think itās about the fact that Howzer got injured at the escape. Nyx's voice, suddenly a little louder than before, brings you back on track.
"And now get rid of that shirt! I have to check on your injury. Itās my duty," Nyx states as he finally looses his grip on his captain's shoulders.
Howzer sighs but knows better than to question his medic when it comes to health issues. He casually pulls his shirt over his head to stand bare-chested in the middle of the wilderness. That's when he remembers that he hasnāt showered before he left your home and a few remains of your lovemaking still decorate his chest. Before heās able to wipe off the flimsy white flakes, Nyx already crouches down in front of him and his hands examine the scar expertlyā¦ and then whistles. Kriffing di'kut.
"Now thatās what I call a thorough care!"
A suggestive smirk on his face, Nyx looks up at Howzer first and then turns towards you, smile even getting brighter, while the other four still try to get their heads around the just said. Even in the darkness, Howzer can see the heat burning on your cheeks and boots his brother inconspicuously as a silent warning. But the medic is too smooth to let himself get put off.
"You did an excellent job, girl! I couldnāt have treated the blastershot wound better. If heās lucky the scar will be barely visible in a few days. Our captain is in top condition." He tells you and nods approvingly. "But no wonder with your special aftercare," he adds with a snicker.
"THANKā¦ you very much for your evaluation," Howzer growls and lifts his foot to hook it under Nyx' ass. With a quick move he throws him off balance and to everybody's delight the clone tumbles and falls prone at your feet.
Howzer smiles as he watches you chuckle, your embarrassment fading, and uses the opportune moment to clean his chest. "And now, apologize to the lady!"
"My apologies, ma'am," Nyx obediently says with a smile, still not moving.
You see a hint of adoration in his gaze as you eventually stretch out your hand to help him up.
"Hmmmā¦ itās getting a habit that I have a clone lying at my feet," you chuckle and then turn your gaze to Howzer and your eyes tell him that heās been the first and only one who you want to have lying at your feet. His soft expression tells you that he knows.
Once Nyx has dusted his armor off he comes standing beside you and gives you scrutiny. Under his gaze you feel yourself getting insecure, and your hand searches for Howzerās. Heās quick to take it, sensing your awkwardness. His free one is drawing circles on the small of your back.
āWhat did you say is your profession, adāika?ā Nyx asks.
Heās the second one after Felyx who addresses you like that. It soundsā¦ nice, and you wonder what it means. Maybe you should ask later.
āI was working in an architectural office.ā
āWhat a shame! Youād make an excellent medic if youād ask me,ā he states and gives you an encouraging smile. For a moment you wonder if heās just trying to be nice and wants to distract you from your flustered state, but just as you are about to object he adds: āAs soon as we made it out of hereā¦ I might need an assistant when we remove the chips.ā
You look at him incredulously, then at Howzer, then back at him. Heās still smiling at you.
āIā¦ Iām not sure if Iād be of any use,ā you stammer.
Howzer sighs and kisses the crown of your head. Only for you to hear he whispers: āDonāt talk yourself down, meshāla. Iāve seen you surpassing yourself every day.ā
The way he says it gives you butterflies in your belly. If you are honest to yourself, all that you did during the last week was because of him. He gave you a meaning and - you donāt know how he did it - strength to do whatever you needed toā¦ for him and for you. Thinking back to your conversation about the Force, you smileā¦ Maybeā¦ noā¦ most likelyā¦ everything you did led you to this point. An act of providence so to speak.
āDonāt you worry, adāika. Iām going to teach you everything I know.ā
āIf you have the time, can we go through the plan on how to proceed?ā Proxi bring everyone back to the scene.
Once again you feel somewhat redundant while you listen to them. When you left your home, you did it believing you were paying for a āseatā with the last credits you have. Now you face the fact that you all are obviously going to hijack a spaceship. And not only a spaceship, but one from the notorious Ryll bootlegger Dryshaa. You huff quietly to yourself. So this is what their plans usually look like when they can work together and itās not every man for himself. Itās quiteā¦ appealing. Oh shit! How can you even think so considering the situation you are in right now and what you are about to do. Neverā¦ never in your life you saw yourself hijacking a vehicle or being on the run. You normally are the reasonable, careful type of woman. Now thatās the exact opposite of solitude and contemplation. Probably thatās just the way it goes when you are with a clone. And suddenly Howzerās question about whether you are happy takes on a whole new meaning. You thought you wereā¦ now you are not sure anymore. All of this is just so unbelievably exciting, thrilling even. Arousing. Ohhhā¦ No matter if you have been happy beforeā¦ you are definitely now.
āNow if we are going to do this, I might need a little help from you, brothers,ā Howzer responds, rousing you from your thoughts. āAs you can see, I lack my usual armor.ā
A flash of warmth you canāt hide even in the dark spreads over your cheeks as you watch him, bare-chested and only wearing black pants. Heās such a sight. You realized as soon as you saw him. When Nyx inquires if his blacks got ripped from the shot, it heightens the awareness of the smooth fabric hugging your shape under your clothes right now.
"We have a gift for you," Proxi says and pats a small crate that was standing next to them in the shadows all the time.
As he takes off the lid his eyes fall on a neat pile of white plastoid with teal markings, stored safely according to the reg manuals.
In the dark Howzer stands transfixed and watches silently for almost a minute. He thought he'd never see his armor again. The shell that protected him during years of war and made his appearance. The colors that showed him as part of his squadā¦ and made him who he is. The one thing that truly belonged to him his whole life.
He draws closer to the crate, his features softened by a fond gaze. Howzer's heart pounds faster as he reaches out a hand and his fingers touch the badly scratched surface of his helmet. The teal paint on its crown is damaged and partly scraped off. Two deep scratches testify to an almost lethal encounter with a droideka. Slowly, he drags his fingers over the curve as if heās playing an instrument, his gaze fixed on the black visorā¦ his reflection staring back at him.
āPut it on and letās get started!ā Proxi tells him and Howzer wouldnāt have thought it possible that gearing up could ever feel as good as it does now.
Once he dropped his pants in favor of a new pair of blacks and therefore sparking you with a wildfire inside your body second to none, he starts to buckle on his armor, deftly and in the exact sequence he was trained to. And you watch in awe as he changes from Howzer, the injured man in your bed who craved your warmth, to dignified clone Captain Howzer of the Nexus squad. Both of them are equally beautiful.
"May I help you?" you shyly ask him.
You can almost feel him watching you as he closes the clasps of his cuirass with a soft click. And then a cheeky smile graces his lips as he studies you. Reaching down in the crate he grabs at his utility belt and hands it over to you with the gentlest movement. He catches your chin with the tips of his fingers oh so gently before he cradles your cheek, his thumb carefully brushing your bottom lip. A silent sigh falls from your lips as your heart is kicking up in your chest at the sudden display of affection. He leans overā¦
āYou were the first one to undress meā¦ you shall be the first to put my armor back on.ā
āOhhā¦,ā you only whisper, at a stunning loss for words. The simple wish to help him, suddenly traded to something else and more sensual.
He gently nudges the belt in your hand to remind you of your task. And then you slide your hands around his waist to put it on. Your fingers touch the cold plastoid and youāre snuggling your body tight to his as you snap the clasp shut. Purposefully, you let your breath fan over his neck as you slowly loose the embrace and take the cuisses to strap them on him. Itās not only him who stops breathing as you sink down on your knees and you run your palms up and down his strong thighs. You want to feel him. Feel his muscles move under your touch. Howzer stands completely still and looks down on you while you press your mouth softly against the fabric of his blacks before shielding them with the thigh plates.
He still remains quiet as you slide the rerebraces up his arms, your hands gently squeezing his upper arms while you watch him intently. Stars! It turns you on so much as you hear him sigh. His display of devotion when it is you who's giving him all. Right nowā¦ you feel the power you have over himā¦ just like you had when he begged you to ride him.
You think about the last night, about how tenderly he caressed every inch of you, as you slide the gloves on his handsā¦ those same hands he used to coax the pleasure out of you. Now heās the dutiful, deadly trooper again when you close the magnetic clasps of his vambraces.
Your eyes never leave his as you eventually stand on tiptoes to slide the collar over his headā¦ and the teal pauldron that classifies his rank of a dignified captain is back on its rightful place on top of his right shoulder.
Slowly you take a step backwards to look at him and your hands slide down on his chest. He catches them with his own before you can draw them from him and holds you in place.
You watch him and your breath catches at the sight. With his armor he looks even bigger, more broad-shouldered, more imposing.
And you feel so small yet safe in front of him. None of you says a wordā¦
His eyes crinkle with the warm smile he gives you. And in that moment you realizeā¦ It's still him.
This is, despite the armor and the armed and ready for battle brothers at his side, still Howzer. Your Howzer. The man who surrendered to his feelings for you and begged you to come with him. The one who promised you a new life.
"This isn't going to change anything, mesh'la," he eventually says, sensing your distress.
"Do you think you can pilot this hunk of junk?" Howzer asks and Vixus raises his eyebrow in response, so high it almost touches his hairline.
"Give me one ship I canāt pilot."
"Good. I just wanted to be sure."
Your heart is pounding in your chest as you listen to them developing a battle plan. Their experience from years of practice and expertise still canāt prevent you from feeling more nervous than youāve ever been. Whatever solution they will come up with, you wonāt like it.
"Okay but considerā¦ We canāt go near the ship fully armed without them realizing that we are up to something."
"How about a head-on attack?" Ajax suggests.
"No." Howzerās voice sounds harsh.
"Why? We would easily overrun them."
"Because itās not just us around! And I will not risk anything that could harm her. Besidesā¦ if they secure the ship with its cargo and take off before we reach it, our only means of escape disappear into thin air."
"So, what do you suggest, Cap?"
"One of us, Proxi, who already asked for a transport, should walk over there and distract them till the rest of us are close enough to take over."
That would mean one weapon less during their assault. You all too well remember the moment when Howzer fought the gang members so easily, barehanded and outnumbered. Your cheeks flush from heat as you try to picture what it would look like if the whole squad would assail them. Theyād be like a natural force come to life! But that was yesterday and Howzerās attack came without warning. Now the smugglers might be prepared or maybe even expect an offense.
You only have one chanceā¦ And Howzer, Nyx, Proxiā¦ they all need to take it! You think back to the past days; to all the things heās done for you, how he attended and protected you. You did the same for himā¦ You canāt stop now. This is the least you can do for him, dealing with a few moments of discomfort and peril, when heās going to risk his life for you and his brothers.
"I'll do it," your voice disrupts their conversation.
They are immediately dead silent and Howzer turns his attention towards you. The way heās looking at you tells you that heās pondering his next words carefully.
"Absolutely not."
You give him a stern look and Howzer pinches between his eyes.
āSweety,ā the familiar pet name slips out of your mouth without a second thought and you only realize what youāve said when you hear restraint chuckles. Well, to Howzerās credit, he only blushes slightly. āYou know itās the best option we have. They already know me and Dryshaa expects me to come. I could tell Iām there to hand him the outstanding sum. You didnāt have concerns about following my plan yesterday.ā
If you would be able to use the Force for mind reading, you would have heard him screaming and telling you that this was yesterdayā¦ before he and youā¦ and you and him gotā¦ close. Today he has a lot more to lose. Proxi is the one to side with you.
āShe has a point, Cap,ā he calmly adds for consideration. Howzer snaps his head towards him, giving Proxi a glare. Any other man might have flinched, Proxi only shrugs with an unperturbed grin. Years of serving alongside one another and the confidence that naturally comes with the rank of an ARC, entitle him to do so.
āI said, no,ā he says, his voice laced with frustration and something you canāt put your finger on yet. Whatever it is, it canāt make you change your mind.
āI am doing it,ā you repeat yourself a little more forcefully this time, leaving him no chance to argue.
āFine.ā
"Why is the ānoā you give her not the same as the one I got?" Ajax tosses in, audibly bewildered.
"Because he's not in love with you," Vixus deadpans.
Although Vixus is right and the captain tends to just not be able to refuse you anything, like the last days have shown, Howzer still starts several attempts to dissuade you from your plan, trying to convince you to remain on the sidelines. Needless to say that it still doesnāt change your mind. No matter how anxious you are about your task, the urge to prove that you are a valuable member for the group is stronger. And shamefully the wish to impress him. He asked you to come with himā¦ he shouldnāt regret his decision.
So it happens that you stand opposite a group of six geared up clone troopers a few minutes later, their appearance enough to impress you and put you at ease alike. And all you can think is that the sight is sexy as hell. Howzer is the only one who doesnāt wear his helmet yet.
You feel your knees go weak the moment he comes towards you, dwarfing you with his imposing shape.
āYou donāt have to do this,ā he whispers as he lovingly caresses your cheek with a gloved hand, his eyes gazing down on you. He tries to express how much he disagrees with putting you in danger and how much you mean to him all at once. Thereās only to hope you understand.
āI knowā¦ I still want to do it. Itās for us,ā you reassure him with a smile and place your soft hand gently on his cheek. He almost melts into your touch and his eyes flutter.
āBe careful.ā
There are so many more things he wants to say right now. Give you advice or orders on how to act once you make contact, yet every word seems too much or wrong. The least he wants right now is to unsettle you. Insteadā¦
Howzer bends down to kiss youā¦ gently like a soft whisperā¦ and his lips tremble against yours as you sigh into the kiss.
āDonāt worry, sweety. Iāll be fine.ā
And with that you take his helmet from his grip and slide it over his head till it locks into place. Your lovely face now filtered through the visor of his helmet, is still the most beautiful thing heās seen. You smile as he lets his forehead rest against yours for a momentā¦ then you turn away to walk over to the spaceship. He exhales a shaky breath.
āYou better not lose sight of her Vix, or weāll need another pilot,ā Hozwerās gruff voice sounds through the vocoder in his helmet.
āAffirmative! Iāll keep an eye on her, Cap,ā the clone chimes before he separates from the group to find an elevated position with an unobstructed view of you. As soon as your shape appears in his crosshair he reports:
āGot her.ā
You compel your feet to move towards the plateau where the men have almost finished their work, hardly remembering how to move. The path you follow is narrow and twists alongside the edge of a precipice. Some loose stones and gravel tumble into the darkness below when your steps get precariously close to the abyss. Carefully you slide your hand along the scarp as a feeble attempt to fake safety. To dissipate the fear inside you, you start to hum your favorite song to yourself. It isnāt working. Did it ever have?
Breatheā¦ stepā¦ breatheā¦ step. The closer you come to the freighter, the more you wonder why on Ryloth you volunteered to play the bait. Nervously you chew on your bottom lip that still tastes like his last kiss. And you immediately know why you do this. Itās for him. For the love that found you and the life you may have if your plan succeeds. Noā¦ āifā canāt be an option. Whatever will happen to you, Howzer and his brothers will certainly be executed.
It felt like hours, but after about five minutes, you make it to the edge of the plateau, relieved that you are still alive and not lying wrecked at the bottom of the gorge. Your joy is short-lived. The moment you enter the cone of light from the freighter, four blasters point towards you and someone is shouting commands. The four Twiālek who were occupied with loading the ship, increase their efforts to bring the few remaining crates on board. Silently thanking yourself for your stubbornness, youāre glad that itās you who came to test the waters. Proxi would have been dead by now. To defuse the situation, you raise your hands, showing them you are unarmed. They still are on alert.
āIs that how you treat a guest? Put the blasters down!ā
The unpleasant voice makes you shiver, and soon enough you see the despicable, gaunt figure of Dryshaa walking down the ramp from the YT-2400. Okayā¦ Be brave, you tell yourself for the second time this day, trying to straighten your posture and give yourself a confident appearance. It will be over soon. The awareness of six clones luring in the shadows, ready to jump in at any given moment, let you feel protected as if you would wear one of their armors as well and gives you the courage to approach him.
āLook who found me,ā he drawls. His eyes roaming your body from head to toes. āWhereās your expendable toy boy?ā
It takes every ounce of self control to not smack him, and somehow youāre even smart enough to swallow an unfriendly remark. The cocky asshole gets what he deserves soon enough. So you refrain from doing what you badly want to do, and flash him a winning smile.
āHeās waiting till I have paid off the debts.ā
āNot very courteous of the coward to send the lady ahead.ā He leans closer to you, leering. Like yesterday you can feel his breath on your face, and like yesterday it almost makes you feel sick.
āMaybe not courteous,ā you friendly answer him, ābut cautious.ā
āIād rather call it - foolish,ā he hisses, and an uneasy feeling begins to boil in your belly.
āNow that I have you here already, I donāt need him to join us at all.ā
He gives his men a sign to get ready for departure with a wave of his hand before he meets your eyes with a devilish gaze.
āYou know I donāt trust you, honey. You and that worthless clone caused quite the ruckus and - depreciation - yesterday.ā
Your eyes widen with fear at his coldheartedness and you desperately hope Howzer will soon be there to save you. But heās nowhere to be seen yet and you donāt dare to have a closer look around, afraid you might betray their positions. All you can do is suffer in silence as the scumbag wraps an arm around your waist and tugs you at his side.
āIāve already eliminated the other clones, I will make short work of him too,ā he laughs and gifts you with a flash of pointed pearly white teeth.
Thank the lucky stars you know itās not true, you would have doubled over from panic otherwise. Maybe itās what he expects of youā¦ and to avoid that you are looking suspicious, you gasp audibly, giving your best fake dismay.
āPleaseā¦ donāt hurt him.ā
āOhā¦ it wonāt be me. I have abetters to do the dirty work. We are going to have so much fun in the meantime.ā
And with that he starts walking you up the gangway, licks his lips and snakes his hand under your tunicā¦ itās the last thing he does.
You scream as a plasma jet whooshes close past you and leaves a burning hole in the Devaronianās head. Heās thrown away from you by the force of the impact and lands facedown on the ground, moving no more. It takes you a fraction of a second before your brain kicks into overdrive and you jump off the ramp to hide under it.
Itās like everything is happening in slow motion as you peek out and see six men in shining white armor, adorned with teal marks, jump out of their cover, firing with precision at everybody whoās moving. Red lightnings cut the air and agonizing screams fill your hearing. You watch in frozen horror as the bootleggers try in vain to fire back at your beloved Howzer who comes charging towards the ship. Your heart skips a beat with every blaster shot that is aimed at him, it leaps with every miss.
You watch in awe as the clones come closer, like a force of natureā¦ a raging storm, taking down men after men. By the time they are in proximity to the ship, no oneās shooting back at them anymore. Therefore the engines of the ship are ignited. The ground is shaking beneath you and you still wonder what you are supposed to do next as somebody, you think itās Vixus, grabs your clothes and yanks you upwards, dragging you with him along the closing gangway.
āStay down!ā His voice, so familiar and yet so different from Howzerās, orders you, and he shoves you behind a crate as the world starts spinning.
The pilot obviously lifted the spaceship off the ground and initiated a one-eighty to get out of the ravine. From your position you have a front row seat to watch as Dryshaaās body slides off the ramp and five clone troopers vanish from your sight as the hatch closes. How many more times can you bear to see him disappear? According to Vixus' order you stay down in your hideout, panic and despair running circles in your mind. Are there other people here on the ship besides the pilot? Will Vix be able to terminate them? What if not? You donāt dare to imagine what will happen to you in that case. And Howzer and his brothersā¦ left behind, it will be only a matter of time till the Empire will be informed about their whereabouts and come to execute them.
Silently, you send up a prayerā¦ donātā¦. donāt let this be the last time you see him. Donāt let his kiss be the last.
The next second youāre whipsawed, your body violently hitting the wall behind you as the ship accelerates vertically and surrenders to gravity. Thatās it. Youāre going to die when the ship bursts on a rock. What a day! Only this morning you found yourself in loving arms, thinking about if you should start a new lifeā¦ now your life is going to end in an explosion. You close your eyes and cling to the crate in your reach so hard that your knuckles become white, waiting for the inevitable end to come.
Nothing happens. Except the surroundings suddenly getting loud as the stabilizers power up and the tumbling vehicle levels on the horizontal plane. You feel sick. Then itās silent again, only the low hum of the running engines reverberates through the hull.
āIām sorry!ā Vixus shouts from the cockpit. āAre you okay adāika?ā
You donāt answer immediately, cause youāre really having a hard time not to throw up. The gentle rocking with which the ship sinks towards the ground only makes it worse.
āHey! Are you still here with me?ā
āHmmmā¦ā
"Gods!" he sighs, āThe captain would have killed me if anything had happened to you.ā You can hear the sincere relief as he speaks.
Only moments later the landing gear touches the ground and the hatch opens. Youāre still trying to sort your limbs and rise as Howzer is already sprinting up the gangway, the others in his wake. Even behind his visor you can perceive his frown, the anxiety is practically radiating from him. In the few days you shared, you still learned how to read himā¦ and right nowā¦ heās agitated to say the least. And despite your still shaky appearance you try to downplay what just happened and lift the mood.
āI thought you didn't plan on a head-on attack.ā
He tears off his helmet, and the unwanted piece of armor drops to the ground with a loud thump. Maker, heās so incredibly beautiful as he keeps walking towards you, his eyes darkened and cheeks flushed! Your heart beats faster by his sight alone. You reach out your hand to himā¦ to embrace him as soon as heās in reachā¦ But then he doesnāt stop walking, instead dragging you with him and pushing you against the next surface which happens to be the wall you just crashed into, pinning you there with his broad body.
āHow-...ā
Youāre cut off as his strong hands cup your jaw possessively. You gasp and he groans as he seals his mouth with yours in the most desperate kiss you ever got. His tongue tangles with yours, creating a warm melting sensation deep within your belly. Your hands start to rove all over him, looking for the gaps in his armor and the soft parts of his body not covered by plastoid, and when you find them you feel his muscles tense beneath your fingers. His hands also never stop moving. While one is now entangled in your hair, the other explores your chest and gently sneaks under the fabric of your tunic and his blacks beneath. He lets out another quiet moan as his palm touches your hot and sweaty skin.
This is a completely different kind of despair. Last night was about making love and defying time. It was a pleading for a future and getting lost in the moments given. Thisā¦ is the scaring awareness that he almost lost you twice in one day. And despite all odds, he still can feel you close and the Force didnāt tear you apart. When heās finally detaching from you, you're both panting.
āThat was before I saw that bloody shabuir's hands on you again.ā
āWhen youāre doneā¦ Iām ready for take off,ā comes Vixus' impatient voice from the cockpit.
Flustered, you close your eyes and chuckle quietly, trying to hide your heated face in his neck from the others. Yet they are decent enough to mind their own business and head for the jump seats to buckle up. Though you canāt be totally sure as they are still wearing their buckets. Howzer grabs your hand, but instead of going with you to the cockpit, he hauls you towards a door behind which you assume the sleeping quarters. Just before he reaches it, he turns around.
āNyx! Youāre in charge now. Set course for Ord Mantell. Thatās where we are going to find Sergeant Hunter and his squad. Ajax! You and Felyx make a supply check and find out whatās in the crates they brought on board. I want to know if thereās anything useful for us. Canāt all be full of Ryll. Proxi, you check the maps of Ord Mantell and figure out where we will find Clone Force 99. ā
Nyx nods in response, but canāt hold back a suggestive comment about treating bruises thoroughly, before he joins Vixus in the cockpit and takes a seat on the copilot's chair.
āAnd what are you going to do, Cap?ā Felyx asks as he removes his helmet and takes a seat.
Howzer just smiles, arms sliding under your back and legs, he picks you up and carries you through the door into a dark quarter. Only as the door slides shut behind the two of you, he gently nibbles at your earlobe and whispers: āIām going to take care of you during the quiet hours in space, meshālaā¦ and I will make love to you under the blue glow of hyperspace.ā
You have no idea how much time has passed since you got on board the YT-2400 and left Ryloth behind. All you know is that your legs are still weak and you are pleasantly tired out as the hatch opens and you walk down the gangway, your feet touching the ground of Ord Mantell for the first time. The bulbous rooftops reflect the sun shining down on them. Your small hand is held by a bigger one, gently and protectively. Your heart is beating fast from excitement. When you turn your head, your gaze falls on Captain Howzer. The clone who fell at your feet and carried you off to the galaxy. His black hair is neatly done and his golden brown eyes watch you lovingly.
āI love you, sweety,ā you whisper and he smiles
Youāve traded the view from your ledge to a much more beautiful one.
Finally the conclusion...oh my heart so many emotions ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø...thank you @rain-on-kamino for this wonderful story, it was truly amazing and one of my favorites now. āŗļøāŗļøāŗļø
Warning: Straight up filth, smutty smut, porn with feelings - honestly... so many feelings: angst and comfort, fluff. Mutual pining and idiots in love. Cunninglingus, creampie, PiV sex (wrap it before you tap it) from on top and below. And all over again.
A/N: I think they both derserved it after they held back for so long. And obviously... I'm obsessed... very selfindugent. Dividers by @galacticgraffiti and @moonstrider9904
Here you find part 1 / part 2 / part 3
Summary: Whatās there to do when all that is left are a few hours and paths will separate soon? Share a night of passion and hope the scars that will remain wonāt be to deep. Or...
Shadows dance on the walls and dim candle light floods the room. The warm golden shimmer washes over Howzer's face, accentuating his natural tan complexion. You watch him as he lights one by one of the lanterns, creating an atmosphere to... remember.Ā
You watch him...Ā
and you realize you were lost from the start. From the day he fell at your feet everything you did or avoided inevitably led to this moment. Maybe Howzer was right and it was the Force that brought you together. You couldnāt have stayed away from the clone whoās now turned towards you, slowly closing the distance, and the Force knows you've tried. Your eyes study every inch of him as if youāve never seen him before. Nervous, for some reason.
His movements are smooth, no trace of his debilitated condition left. The injury healed. He radiates strength and confidence. At nights when he lay next to you, you imagined him more than a thousand times like this. The visions donāt even come close to reality. You search for the right word to describe him. Imposing might be one.
Beautifulā¦ another.
Shit.
You love this place. You love the silence and the peacefulness. The lights and the Rylothā sky. And even more so when you were able to share it with him those last days. Now youāre feeling unsure of your own place. Your chest aches with an unfamiliar feeling, one you still try to deny, or at least stow away in the back of your heart. And yet it settles down right in the softest part of you, makes your mind spinning and questioning your motives.
You wonder if he thinks the same.Ā
Carefully, Howzer walks towards you and, his gaze never leaving yours, finds himself inextricably drawn to you. He takes in your naked frame, the skin on your belly stained with the remains ofĀ his release, and something at this sight makes his chest fill with pride and wanting more.
When heās finally so close that your bodies almost touch, he places two fingers under your chin, making you look at him. Heās not forcing you. The movement is slow and his touch gentle. Still regretting his hot-tempered behavior from earlier, now all he wants is to treat you the way you deserve, nothing but tender, like he would break you if heād handle you just a little too rough. Truth be told, he isnāt even sure if it is only for your benefit or his redemption as well. Nevertheless itās hard to hold backā¦Ā you are looking up at him with such wide eager eyes, and you look so soft. He craves to shed the last layer thatās keeping the two of you apart. To feel your skin on his, and not only on the small patch like before.
āOne of us is still wearing too much,ā he says, smiling at you.Ā
Howzer then clasps your wrists, intending you to grab his waist. When both your hands dip beneath the hem of his shirt and your thumbs gently caress his bare skin, the pleasant tingle makes him chuckle. He wouldnāt have guessed heād be ticklish, and yet itās one of the most delectable sensations he ever had. What else did he miss for so long? You give him a knowing smile and slip your hands entirely beneath his shirt, letting your fingers dance across the solid plane of his chest on their way upwards before grabbing his shirt and peeling it over his head.
He shivers when you pull down his pants and briefs, kneeling down to help him out of themā¦and sighs quietly as you come up again, nestling against him. Finally. He can feel all of your body on his. No clothes, no underwear, no blankets separating you. Only warm skin to skin. Howzer holds you close and admires the sweet smile on your face as you bring your finger up to his lips, slowly and playfully brushing the edges. He leans into your touch and relishes the tenderness you give him when your fingers travel further and draw along his chin and jawline, down the column of his neck and his sternum. He could go on like this forever, yet somewhere in the back of his mind he remembers his promise to give you something to hold on to.Ā
Howzer catches your hands in his, holding them in place. Face pressing into your neck, he inhales your scentā¦ the scent that engulfed him for nights and let him keenly wish to make you feel like heās never made anyone feel before while his self control almost made him burst. And finallyā¦ heās going to give inā¦ never wanting to let your body go, now that he is allowed to hold you like he ever wanted to.Ā
āLet me take care of you, meshāla,ā he whispers, his voice so low, itās nothing more than a breath against your skin. A promise of devotion.Ā
You whimper at the feel of his lips, and the sweet sound makes him smile. The next moment he's crowding you backwards, ever so slowly pushing you towards the bed. And you let him guide you... Kriff, only the idea makes his heart beat faster under your palms. As he reaches the bed, he gently places you down, pushing you into the softness of the covers with his chest. His forearms resting on both sides of your head, he hovers over you and you arch against him. Youāre so cute when you chew on your bottom lip and your cheeks glow with heat.
When heās lowering his head to give you the sweetest kiss he knows how to, Howzer feels like he is flying out to the unknown regions, with all the wonders of the galaxy to be discovered by himā¦ and him alone. The sight ofĀ your rising and falling cleavage, so easily enticingā¦ inviting. Never before has he touched anyone as gently as he touches your body now, tracing his fingertips over the swell, and then slowly drawing tightenging circles around your delicate bud.Ā
āSo beautiful. I canāt stop watching you,ā he confesses under his breath as he lovingly caresses your skin, watching the goosebumps spread and your buds perk up.Ā
Your breathing hitches at his words, but you keep lying still for him, letting him take you in for an endless moment. And yet, he sacrifices his view for a taste of youā¦ His lips brush your skin, and his tongue draws moist patterns on your mound, gently flicking over your hard nub. A long moan leaves his throat at the pleasant tingle. Your hips roll up into his as his needy sounds reverberate on your body and grind against his bare erection, causing him to gasp and then, unable to help himself, latching on your nipple and sucking on the sensitive flesh. The sinful āplopā as he finally pulls away to lick and suck the tender skin beneath the curve of your breast has him groaning again, the sound imprinted in his memory.
āYouāre so good at this,ā you murmur, your voice husky.
If your hands weren't roaming his back and feeling him moving, you might have thought you were floating in a state of weightlessness in one of your dreams. His touch is so cautious, his kisses so subtleā¦ his mouthās driving you out of your mind with each light stroke of his tongue. But Howzer is as real as he can be when he blows a cool whiff over your wet nipple and chuckles as a desperate sigh leaves you. With each gentle brush of his fingertips over your sensitive skin, he lights up every fiber in your body, playing you like an instrument thatās singing him praise.
Maker above, what theā¦is heā¦ any coherent thought leaves your mind as his fingers travel down on your body,Ā feather a light touch along your flank and scrape over your hip bone. Howzerās darkened golden eyes watch you intently again, and the sweetest smirk youāve ever seen tugs at his lipsā¦ as heās trailing his mouth against your skin and traveling to the apex of your thighs. Your hands fisting into the sheets, almost tearing them, as his lips brush a line down your slope. The teasing of his hot breath on your velvety pussy lips is making you gasp in pleasure, your head thrashing from side to side.Ā
āH-Howzer! Youā¦ Please stop teasing me.ā
Howzer lowers his mouth to your coreā¦
āRelax, meshāla,ā he soothes you, mouthing the words against your glistening folds. Cautiously squeezing, he runs his hands up and down the outside of your thighs. āLet me be good for you,ā he breathes, gently closing his lips around your clitā¦
āHowzerā¦ā you whine, your eyelids fluttering shut with the infinite pleasure that invades your senses.
It doesnāt take long and you are writhing beneath him, strangled moans ripped from you as you let him go down you. And stars, heās so incredibly gentle as he laps up your leaking arousal or nibbles on your lips. His hair tingles on your thighs. Ever so slowly heās caressing your swollen bundle of nerves with his tongue, increasing your sensitivity with each tight circle he licks. Your body rocking against him, you're getting closer and closer to your peak, sweaty and shaking.Ā
Howzerās head is spinning. Your scent and tasteā¦ he just truly kriffing loves it, the wild composition that ignites the burning desire inside him once again. He had wanted you for so long, and now that he has youā¦ spread out on the bed he shared with you, legs open, letting him taste youā¦ heāll spend the night worshiping you with his tongue and his body, losing himself in your softness without any real sense of time.
Heās desperateā¦buries his mouth between your thighs at his own pleasure, rutting his rock-hard erection against the mattress and craving for friction. But no. It has to be you! It will be your touch thatās making himĀ cum againā¦ he just has to wait a little longer. He swirls gentle circles around your clit to coax the pleasure from you and then hardens his tongue, pressing it into your warm, dripping pussy. Youā¦ you taste perfectly. Groaning against you, he feels your legs quiver around his head. And as he curves his tongue inside you, the tip of it stroking your walls, you finally cum, pouring in his mouth and heās greedily drinking every drop of arousal you are willing to give.
Thereāsā¦ something about this. The idea of making you lose your mind, of bringing you pleasure with every part of his body thatās only bred for war, and in return you shower him in tenderness, and give him the experience of how it feels to make ā¦ it kindles a selfish desire that burns in his chest.Ā
He rises up to his knees and runs a hand through his messy hair, trying to make it slightly more presentable. Itās the cutest and likewise hottest thing youāve ever seen, yet you secretly decide to mess it up like this will be your favorite thing to do with his hair.Ā
āWasā¦ that good?ā he asks quietly.
While you slowly calm your breathing you bite down on your lip, grinning and shaking your head. Is he serious? Or just teasing you? The cadence in his voice tells you he maybe isnāt sure himself, the smirk, though... But what you do know is that you need more.
āOh sweety,ā you purr, āyouāre so good, you make me want more.āĀ
Your hands reach up into his dark locks, pulling him fervently down on you to seal your lips with his in a hungry kiss. Howzer gasps into your mouth, surprised by your sudden onslaught.Ā
āWhat more do you want, meshāla? Rejorhaa'ir ni,ā he rasps, nipping at your bottom lip.
There it is againā¦ the foreign language. The dulcet sound of it is making you shiver. And even though you donāt know their meaning, every word he says feels like a revelation of the clone so close to you. The faint tremor in his voice when he speaks reinforces his intention. And sets you on fireā¦
āYou. I want you, Howzer.āĀ
āIām yours.āĀ
The confessionās tumbling from his lips without control. But itās the undeniable truth. His life has changed so much during the last two weeksā¦ He almost lost it. Not that it would have mattered. Heās a clone. His only purpose was to serve and die for the Republic. His life has never been his own. And now that it isā¦ he craves to share it. He knows itās a silly wish. One that maybe will never come true. But for this one night he could pretend.
Around him, the room's floating in and out of focus... one moment it's dimly lit by the lanterns, and the next the room is gone, and it's just the two of you in the empty expanse of the galaxy. And nothing else matters... as he's lowering his broad body down on you, covering yours.Ā
Both of you are breathing heavily and your soft sighs drive him wild. Howzer can't even think anymore, just devotes himself to the indescribable sensation. He wants to savor the moment, every soft curve, every shiver, every longing sound you make. Yet you grind your hips against him so urgently and stare up at him, pure lust and passion shimmering in your eyes, that he can hardly contain his arousal.Ā
All of a sudden, Howzer becomes aware that from the second he fell at your feet, you both longed for this moment to come, as he molds himself to you, feeling your warm breath fanning over his cheeks. He wants to be inside you and feel you move with him. And from the sound that falls from your lips, sexy and desperate, he is completely certain you feel the same way he does. Ever so gently he parts your thighs with his... As the head of his cock finally breaches your tight entrance, sliding slowly through any resistance, and he eases himself into you with a single thrust, you cry out his name.Ā
You are unbelievably tight and warm and he feels an affiliation he's never felt before. He wouldn't have guessed that it would be so sensual, so gentle... and at the same time so passionate... so incredible.
Arms windinging around his shoulders, you're tightly holding onto his frame. Heās barely moving, even stopped breathing, while your hands rove his body, your fingers raking against the hard plains of his back. Oh kriff, he feels dizzy and hot with it. He begins to tense, his whole body is clenching involuntarily. Almost reluctant to feel this good... not wanting for the thrilling sensation to be over too soon... he fights to relax his muscles and calm down, he realizes he canāt, heās too far gone.
āSweetyā¦ just relax,ā you whisper at the shell of his ear, caressing his cheek lightly and brush a gentle kiss upon his pulse. The sweet sound of your voice, your lingering touch is able to put him at ease. Something heās not capable of himself. What else will he need you for?
Eventually, his shoulders sag and he relaxes into your embrace. You wrap your arms even tighter around him just as he lifts your leg and shifts it around his waist. Your hand slides further up and takes a handful of the soft and thick strands of his hair, tugging gently. Howzer takes a deep breath at the intimacy, and pulls his hips back, almost completely leaving youā¦ and then sheathes himself inside you again. And again. Softly, your bodies meet in concert, your hips never ceasing their sensual dance, as you hold on to him. As he promised youā¦
Howzerās eyes are dilated with lust when he hooks your calf over his shoulder. His hand finds yours, taking it with himā¦ He props his right arm next to your head, and interlace his fingers with yours. Stars, heās so close, you nearly sob at the overwhelming sensation of completing one another like this. Your gazes are locked, glistening with equal affection, as he keeps fucking you so gentle and tender. It goes on for what feels like forever, hips rolling in an unhurried pace, he rocks into your soaking wet pussy, easing his throbbing cock in and out of you in a smooth, steady rhythm, and grinds achingly deep against that heavenly spot inside you so perfectly at the apex of each thrust. Enthralled in the looks and feels of him you surrender to his devotion that is sending sparks down your spine.Ā
āMeshāla, I want to feel you cum for me,ā he mouths hotly into the sensitive spot below your ear, his voice dripping with sin.
Of all the sensations heās giving youā¦ his deep and sultry voice is whatās finally pushing you over the edge.
You throw back your head, your eyes squeezing shut, and make a long, anguished whine to cry out your release. Stars, itās...mind-blowing. And Howzer keeps rocking into you, his lips placing hot open mouthed kisses along your neck, as your walls start deliciously clenching and you come undone so slowly and helplessly around him, drenching his cock with your juices. Your moans are broken and weak.
You're clutching hard at his shoulders, your fingernails rake down his back, leaving red scratches on his skin. And he lets you... Howzer only tightens his grip on you, nestling his hips snug to yours to gently push you down into the mattress, while your hands claw at him, equally roaming and groping, looking for purchase in sweet torment.
As waves of searing heat shudder your core, the pleasure rushing through you over and over again, you lean up, latching your mouth onto the tan skin on his collarbone... gingerly biting and sucking it in time with his languid thrusts until you leave dark lovebites, proof of your passion.Ā
āAh, kriffā¦ where?ā Howzer suddenly curses, dragging his teeth down the column of your neck as he moans hot air across your skin. At your garbled ā..ānsideā¦ saāsafeee,'Ā unintelligible words and syllables of the beautiful language tumble from his lips and a low strangled groan of satisfaction rumbles through his chest. The intensity of your peak's pulling him along with you over the edge.
But still he doesn't stop movingā¦ He keeps going and slowly rides you through the waves of your bliss ... grinding his cock into you and holding it deep...Ā while he pours white hot pleasure deep inside you... Only when his body is drained out of his molten desire, his hips slow down to a complete halt with an obscenely wet sound.
Eventually, Howzer breaks away and lowers your leg. His face buried in your neck, he slumps down on top of you in exhaustion, and your glistening bodies are glued together with the fine sheen of sweat. He pants. His chest heaves with the force of his shallow breathsā¦ You want to hold him, want to feel him... you almost cry. Your beautiful clone captain utterly wrecked, melting against you to recuperate.
For a long moment, you are both locked in each otherās embrace, listening to your heartbeats calm down.Ā His arms hold you, gentle and strong, without enforcement, but all the more tenderness.
Later, when he regained some of his strength and the will to move, Howzer is lying propped up on his elbow next to you. You lie on your side, and your breath is fanning his face. None of you say a word. But you tenderly trace your finger over his cheek, and map the outlines of his scar, eyes following the movement attentively. He shivers unter your touch. You bite on your lip and smile as soon as you notice. It is endearing to see you in such awe and stars, why are you soā¦ lovely?
You treat him with such tenderness and watch him from your pillow like you did on that first day when you gave him the feeling that he's someone special. At least for you. His heart seizes in his chest... He's looking back at you with the same kind of affection and craving your beautiful eyes are shining with.Ā
Every glance and touch from you causes a new surge of excitation inside him. And even it's not long since he was laying trembling and exhausted on top of you... he wants youā¦ can feel himself getting hard again, his cock already swollen and needing more.
Howzer leans in and drops his head to brush his messy hair along the column of your neck. Catching your silent gasp he wonders what other intoxicating little reactions he could get out of you. This is so new, something he has never done beforeā¦ There are still so many things to learn. And so he parts his lips, dragging his tongue slowly along your collarbone, hot and wet, tasting your salty sweat, just as his fingers barely dance across the skin of your belly and lower. Your mixed juices leak out of you, dripping down your folds and soaking the sheets. Soft like a feather, the tips of his fingers swipe through the warm liquid, tracing small, mindless patterns along the insides of your thighs.Ā
In response, you bestow him a moan for his tenderness. The sound of it needy and erotic. His drenched hand finds your breast, the palm cupping the curve. Kriff, heād love to paint all of you with your combined molten pleasure. Heād die to be painted by you. As his fingers are kneading the flesh softly, yours digging into the plain muscles of his shoulders in return. Your hips chase after his, when he grinds them leisurely against you. Thatās making him moan for you. Soā¦ responsive.
āSay you want me again, meshāla,āĀ Howzer pleads you quietly.
āWeāve justā¦,ā you begin, but trail off as he repeats his movement. Without doubt, youāre just as desperate as him. He doesnāt complain.
āYou and me. We only have today. Iām going to make the most of this moment for us.ā
His own words cut through him, leaving another scar on his soul. If he didn't long for you so much, he'd be mad at himself. And maybe you were right... one night of softly whispered words and gentle touches that don't withstand the morning isn't enough at all. If all goes according to plan, he'll be on a spaceship light years away in a matter of hours, and he'll be tormented by the thought of how your skin felt. Of how your desire tasted. But there is no turning back. You got under his skin.
āSweetyā¦ā your voice is low, ardent and husky as you breathe the name that you gave him with your first words to him and has become so familiar.Ā
āI want youā¦ again,ā you whisper, pulling his face back up to kiss him again.
His mind short circuits. Biting and sucking on your lower lip, he grasps your waist and with a sweeping motion pulls you towards and on top of him as he swirls you around and lays down on his back. Surprised by his sudden attack you squeak, and your hands helplessly search for purchase on his shoulders.
āRide me,ā he begs, his voice so thick and heated that it makes your body clench. āI want you to take all that you need.ā
His plea leaves you breathless. Strong hands wrapped around your waist, heās shifting you closer to his crotch. With a low groan, you feel his hardness grind against your sex. You are still so incredibly wet, your mixed releases dripping out of you and down on his stomach. Stars, itās so hot, your walls aching to feel his stretch againā¦
You reach down and adjust his cock right up against your wetness.Ā
Howzer grabs your thighs tightly to guide you and takes a long, shuddery breath under you that turns into a desperate groan as you straighten your back and lower yourself down on his cock, letting the hard length of it breach you open slowly, until you sit down completely, your bottom comes to rest flush against his pelvis.
Your heart is pounding equally from arousal and thrill when you look down, and your gaze travels over the man spread out beneath you. His body is glistening from sweat, bringing out the exquisite shape of his muscles even more. He's so tall and lithe... so beautiful. Still pulsing and ready for you after he already gave you wings and made you fly.
Take all that you need, he said? Stars, it's him! You need all of him ... you need to be the one that's making him feel special and loved and satisfiedā¦ even if you're never going to say it out loud. You need himā¦ and not just now.
Seizing his hands, you trace them up along the gentle curves of your flanks eventually cupping both of your mounds in his palms. He growls as you gently force him to squeeze your soft flesh, and you hear yourself gasp as he gingerly plucks your buds with his fingers.
He feels truly spectacular, filling and stretching the slick walls of your pussy perfectly. You shiver and clench around him, whimpering over his heavy panting, as you roll your hips slightly and Howzer grinds his hips up into yours.
"Shit... you....I.. I won't last when you keep doing this," he stammers, far more desperate and breathy than you ever heard him before.
āJust... close your eyes,ā you whisper back, dropping your hands to squeeze his taut pecs as you grind against him and circle your hips, letting the two of you indulge the sensation of each other without any other reason than giving him all he deserves,Ā āand feel me.ā
And stars, you feel him. Feel how his length is pressing up deliciously tight against that spot inside you as you slowly ride him. And you lean back a little, just so he is really pushing up against it, making you see sparks and igniting a searing heat deep in your foundation.
"No. I want to see you."
Howzer shakes his head vigorously, digging his teeth into his lower lip. And then... he's just watching you. Roaming his hands over your exposed body, as you rise and sink down on him.Ā
Heās completely enthralled by the sheer eroticism, how you feel against him, how your body moves so bare and soft above him. He is rocking his hips up in time with your slow, sensual circles. Both of his hands clamp down hard around your bum, to support your endless passionate ride. And while you exhale moan after moan with each of your undulations, something inside him wants to make you his and make sure you'll never forget how he surrendered to you, defenseless and at your mercy.
āPlease,ā he eventually rasps. His voice is somehow soft and rough at the same time, as he quietly pleads you: āPlease let me cum.ā
His eyelids flutter closed as you lean your weight back slightly and begin to alternately clench and relax your lower muscles around his throbbing length and speed up to race him to his approaching rapture.
A sinful heat starts seething deep inside him as he thrusts up into you, the sensations all growing so intense. You feel so... amazing. He can hardly focus on his rhythm anymore, feels the increasing pressure winding up his spine, sparking white pleasure as it gradually spreads its tongues of flames into his limbs.Ā
āKriff! I... I'm...ā he suddenly gasps, and then heās going tense and cumming deep inside you with a desperate cry of your name. His thumbs dig into your buttocks as he's shuddering beneath you, throbbing and pumping his seed into your welcoming wet heat in frantic, helpless jolts.
"M-mesh'la," he pants, his voice breaking with the unspoken plea to follow him into his sensual bliss.
Even through his blurred vision he sees as wild bliss rushes through you, shoving you headlong over the precipice into a blinding abyss.Ā The desperate sound of his name is torn from your throat as you come undone around his cock and he'll almost cum again just by the unleashed urgency in your voice. Your agonizing pleasure joins with the burning rapture that flows through his veins.
And when you fall onto his chest, Howzer wraps both his arms around your back, whispering breathless praises at the shell of your ear as your pussy convulses around him. He keeps holding you tightly until the trembles eventually stop and the roar of your orgasms subside. He keeps holding you until your bodies relax and he can't tell where he ends and you begin. Perhaps the line has already started to vanish...
There's something about you, he can't fully comprehend yet. Here and now it's just you and him and there's nowhere else in the galaxy he'd rather be at this moment.
And he doesn't know why but while you are lying here beside him, your gazes locked and your limbs entwined, he feels his intention to leave is fading. Cham Syndulla said they are coming back to Ryloth one dayā¦ What happens when the day comes? Will he be executed by then or will he still be here, ready to be picked up? Wouldnāt every day spent with you mean he'll never leave?Ā
And youā¦?
You didn't ask him to stay, and he knows you won't. He isnāt sure if he even wants you to. 'Cause then he probably would do what you desperately try to spare him by remaining silent: failing his brothers - and his own convictions. Howzerās not sure if he can.
After all this time, all these years of a pointless war, his and his brother's time has finally come to decide. There they are, still strong and resilient. Some more, some less. But all of them with the desire to find their place where they belong in this new founded Empire ruled galaxy. It's a new start, and for once in their lives they have a choice. At least those who fought the influence of the chipsā¦ and it is their purpose to help those brothers who donāt have a free will yet.
A million brothers to find and help. A million reasons to leave Ryloth behind. One of them is still his fear to attract the attention of the Empire. And not only to him but also to you. It is an instinctive reaction for him to be protective. Truthfully, the danger isnāt less just because he leaves and leaves you behind, but maybe you are lucky to hide long enough until time casts the veil of oblivion over the events of the last weeks.
A million reasons to leave Ryloth behindā¦
And even all of these are reasonable reasons, the one that really matters is love.
Maker, he wants you! With every fiber of his being. Is it truly love or just attraction? Looking at you, his heart beats faster and he knows the answer...
But what about you? Itās pretty much likely that you want him too. Howeverā¦ What is it you want? Distractionā¦ companyā¦ or is it more? He's too scaredā¦ no, he ain't going to ask ... at least with words.Ā
Howzer lovingly brushes over your cheek and lets his calloused fingers caress your soft skin. His fingertips skim your lips to coax them open for him. Your lips part. Not a single word comes out. His mind didn't expect any...
Deliberately, his fingers drop from your face to your sternum, then he rests his palm above your heart.
There is one way to find out. It doesn't take a wordā¦
Howzer bends his head and his lips find your mouth. Soft and tender. His eyes close as you lean into his caress and he aches for you as he tastes your sweet eagerness. Your heartbeat tells him everything you wantā¦
When he flexes his abdominal muscles to sit up, you gasp into the kiss, but heās situating himself on his knees, pulling you in his lap without effort and swallowing your noise. You lean back a little to watch him with soft perplexity, yet he implores you to stay with a confident smile. One hand resting on his chest, your other is wrapped around his neck. Slowly, he guides you and lifts you just enough to hold you right above his yet again eager hardness.Ā
āAgain?ā you ask, equally impressed by his remarkable stamina yet somehow afraid of another round of mind-blowing sex. Youāre not sure if you can handle it.Ā
But heās looking so softly at you and your foggy mind canāt find a reason why it could possibly be so bad to let him take away all your desperation and fears and fill you with color and joy and devotion. Let him continue to take all of you, over and over again and offer you all of him in return.
The tip of his cock brushes against your swollen, sensitive spot, and immediately ignites a new blazing fire of lust in your core. Your head falls to the side and your jaw goes slack as he sheathes himself inside you.
āTold you before,ā Howzer whispers back, tensing his thighs as heās achingly slow thrusting up into you , āweāre going to make a memory.ā
The candles have long since burned down and the light in the lanterns has gone out. In the dark you rest on top of him while he lies on his back and tenderly caresses your spine. The situation is so intimate. No matter how often youāve fallen asleep next to each other, the closeness still ignites a cozy fire inside you. The caress of his quiet breath on your skin sends warm tingles into your limbs and causes your belly to feel light and fuzzy.
āI donāt want this to end yet,ā he quietly says into the lingering calm in the room, thus speaking out your thoughts.
āNeither do I.ā Your lips form the words without any sound. You donāt want to say them out loud, hoping that he doesnāt hear you. And yet he does. He twines his fingers into your hair and places a kiss on the crown of your head. His chest briefly heaves when he huffs.
Tilting your head back, you glance at him. His eyes watch you and he smiles back. The most enticing smile you have ever seen. Howzer is a man you can easily fall in love with. No, if you're honest with yourself, you've already fallen in love, long since. You know as soon as you look into those sincere golden eyes.Ā
How could this have happened? How could you have risked exposing yourself to that dangerous feeling in the first place? Attraction, yes. Curiosity, probably. Butā¦ love? Eight days ago, when you found him and took him in, you were a woman who, alone for so long, had tried to resist the lure of a hookup. You werenāt aware of a far greater danger. Only yesterday you were afraid of being afflicted with the forgone pleasures of an affair. Now he will leave soon, to a galaxy that you are a complete stranger to. Then you will be alone again. You knew from the start. But the memories that will torment you are not those of a shared night of passion, but those of what the two of you will be denied in the future. How could you have let it come to that?
Becauseā¦ It's him. Howzer. In the shadows of your room you see him as clear as day. Every of his features is sharpened yet soft just the same. His prominent cheekbones and the angular jaw with the scar to prove his fate. His adorable frown, whenever heās concerned or bemused. His mouthā¦ soft curved lips, set and silent. His black hair, silver-streaked. His eyesā¦ golden and brownā¦ infinitely deep and penetrating and utterly open. And right nowā¦ tired.Ā
āYou need to sleep.ā Your fingertip skirts the dark shadow beneath his eye.
āNo I donāt. I can sleep when Iām on the ship.ā
āButā¦āĀ
Howzer seals your mouth with a kiss. A ābutā he doesn't want to hear. If there's no tomorrow and all the two of you have is here and now, he wonāt waste even a single second for something as dispensable as sleep.Ā
āYou're all I need,ā he mumbles against your lips.
His muscles flex under you as he takes a hold onto your waist and rolls himself on top of you, his naked body pressed tightly to yours. Your surprised squeak elicits a chuckle from himĀ that turns into a contented sigh as he eases himself into you.Ā
Just once moreā¦
One last time he wants to be inside you, filling your senses with his presence and never letting you forget for even a second that heās just as bare as you are and vulnerableā¦ just for you. Howzer drops his head to your shoulder, devoting himself to make love to you. His mouth slightly open, heās tasting the salty flavor of your combined sweat, the passion you shared. It's a taste he'll never want to be without, and neither will you as it seems. Your tongue is gently licking along his neck. Arms twining around his back and tightly holding onto his frame, so close that nothing could ever become between you, you pull him to rest against you while your hips grind up against him to meet his steady and deep thrusts. And with each gentle rocking of his hips, he silently implores you to understandā¦
It doesnāt have to be one or the other. Who says itās only go or stay?
Your combined quiets sighs ring out in the room as both of you get lost in the warmth and the feel of each other.
It's about time.
Your heart feels empty as you slide into Howzer's shirt to put it back on. With a cheeky grin he gave it back to you and asked you to wear it. You wonder why he likes it so much to see his clothes on you. Maybe itās the same reason why the hidden lovebites on his collarbone turn you on so much, the desire of claiming someone who seems out of reach. It doesnāt need his shirt. Youāve already been his when he first smiled at you.
But now Howzer stands next to your bed while he stows his remaining belongings in a backpack, remarkably calm. You'd like to know what's on his mind, yet his frown and sad eyes give you an idea.Ā
Hot tears well up in your eyes as heās finally finished, carelessly tossing the backpack onto your mattress and turning to face you. Now the time has come... You can hardly bear it when he approaches you to say goodbye. To part with you forever.
With a lump in your throat you let him wipe away the wet trails on your cheeks as he stands in front of you, gently reaching for your hands. Heās taking a deep breath. And thenā¦ he asks you, as if he's already had ages to think about it. As if he had asked you a thousand timesā¦
āCome with me.āĀ
Your mouth falls open as a surge of emotions rushes through you and you almost swoon. If he didnāt hold you, you would probably fall. This isnāt at all what you expected.
āI canāt.ā The regret is ringing out in every letter.Ā
Wherever his way might lead him, it will be so different from his previous life. Uncertain and even more dangerous than before. Heās made for a life like this, you try to convince yourself, strong and resilient. And yet the look in his eyes makes you wonder if heās afraid of what is to come or if he feelsā¦ lonely. Stars, you wish he would have someone to share his life, to give him loving arms to rest in and the reassurance of always being there for him when times are tough. Someone braver than you.
āWhy?ā he asks with a shake of his head. And something in his eyes tells you that whatever answer youāre going to give, he wonāt accept it as an excuse.
Yeah.. why? Because you surely would be a hindrance for him. Not experienced in the slightest and without any skill you need for a life like this. 'Cause you're stuck in habits? Or for the simple reason that youāve hardly been anywhere but Ryloth since you were a child?
āIām ā¦ at homeā¦ here.ā
āIs that a statement or just a question?ā He raises an eyebrow and your convictions melt at his smirk.Ā
Maker, you donāt know anymore. Home. Your home was Lessu with its stifling heat and its duracrete charm. Where you had a small apartment in the mountainside and a breathtaking view of the surrounding plains and rock formations. Where there was always hustle and bustle and people around. Where your friends have been and your work has provided you with a living. Almost all of itās gone.
Your dwelling right here in the canyon, well itās more like a makeshift. No. That would be a derogatory term. It feels like aā¦ holiday home. A place where you can go to settle your thoughts and wind down. Where you can enjoy a moment of rest and ask the Force for advice. Sometimes - it gives you an answer...
āEvery holiday has to come to an end.ā
If you werenāt so afraidā¦
Your hands are shaking. Howzer eases the tremble with a squeeze of his own, his thumbs caressing the back of your hands. You.. you have to answer. Say something. But your lips only move without a sound leaving them.Ā
Maker, heās already so close, but heās still getting closer, leaning forward. The movement vanishingly small - the gesture significant. His face is tilted downwards and heās justā¦ watching you. He neither smiles nor frowns. No words, no insistence. He just patiently endures the endless moment of silence.
When you finally speak, your voice is hoarse and your lips tremble. You always thought it would be him to decide. Now itās all up to youā¦ Youāre so scared.Ā
āGive me one single reason why I should leave?ā
I'm going to post two snippets for Exigency (5/5) introducing Nyx a clone OC from my dear Purity who donated a squad for this chapter (and maybe a sequal series š) ... I hope you enjoy as much as I do.
Darkness fills the ravines and valleys carved deep into Ryloth's surfaceā¦
ā¦ and the headlights of a YT-2400 freighter, parked on a plateau, only dimly illuminate the rugged dark red rock faces with their otherwise blinding white light.Ā
At a fair distance a shadow lies on a ledge. His breath is even and his body holds perfectly still, not even moving for a fraction of an inch, while he lies on his front, bracing himself against the ledge with his forearms. He feels the earth beneath him and keeps his bodyās center of gravity low, while heās watching through the scope of his 773-firepuncher sniper rifle as a band of Ryll smugglers busily haul metal crates aboard. The display shows the outlines and heat signatures of four armed Twi'leks guarding the process and another four who carry the crates. No bad odds at all, even if thereās probably a pilot on the ship he canāt spot yet. The fairly large number of boxes on a speeder leads him to assume that loading will take some time. Goodā¦ gives him enough time to carry out his actual instructionsā¦ Adjusting his position, lithe and silent like a deadly panther, he now oversees the entrance of the gorge. Much to his dismay, he canāt perceive any person or movement. Minutes passā¦
āCome onā¦ where are you?ā
...
"And now get rid of that shirt! I have to check on your injury. Itās my duty," Nyx states as he finally looses his grip on his captain's shoulders.
Howzer sighs but knows better than to question his medic when it comes to health issues. He casually pulls his shirt over his head to stand bare-chested in the middle of the wilderness. That's when he remembers that he hasnāt showered before he left and a few remains of your lovemaking still decorate his chest. Before heās able to wipe off the flimsy white flakes, Nyx already crouches down in front of him and his hands examine the scar expertlyā¦ and then whistles. Kriffing di'kut.
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