【014】💸者プ壱😳
While for the best I do regret quitting Wal-Mart. Maybe I should've silently dealt with the homophobia, the sophomoric drama of my coworkers. Unemployed, at home with my parents is kind of a nightmare. All my mother thinks about is restoring her sewing company, her dog and prattling on about her petty bullshit marriage and all her partner does is monitor and criticize my every move: Your "Vegan food smells horrible, your clothing looks gay, she better not be paying your bills, if she dies from her heart condition it's because all this homo shit over some homophobe or a date killing you will be the cause...not me." Sometimes, I honestly want to drive off the viaduct. Go out in silence...wouldn't solve anything and everyone else would win. I won't give those fuckers the satisfaction.
Now, I started writing this weeks ago and idk...just couldn't compel myself to finish it. Since then, I have got a job at Burks Outlet and speedway. I can expect 28-30 hours from Burks and about 15-20 hours with speedway. I'll be doing about 4-5 hours of Instacart, lyft or Grub Hub so I should get about 47 hours. Speedway is paid out weekly and using a calculator I can expect about 172 a week and that's 688 a month. Burks is paid every other week and I should get 530 which in a month is 1060. With instacart I can bank 15 per hour and I hope to do at least 5 a week which equates to 75 a week and in a month that's 300.
Total net from all three is 2048 and my monthly expenses are 1320 leaving me 748 to put in savings (likely I will put 448 in savings and the rest in my money market account). By March that's 4862 which isn't a lot but with credit cards my move to NYC will be very doable. Oh yeah, I have 2 boyfriends now and they're waiting for me in NYC. Well, one is in Queens and the other in Manhattan, but the later and I will move in together in March and Eric will join us later. Of course, these are not ideal jobs, but I have WFH prospects with Nationwide and Robert Half. I will continue looking for remote jobs that I can take with me to NYC because I rather have a soft landing and tbh working from home helps me with my #autism and #depression.
This has been a rather surreal time. The entire two years (God was it really that long) with Matt and Tyler was not enjoyable. Tbh it wasn't like they were intentionally trying to trigger me but trigger me they did. It was always a battle of wills, I felt robbed of creativity and zapped of all energy. Oddly enough the moment I left them I released a full-length album and several LPs/EPs and singles. I shelled out 50 pages for my novels and finally got back on track fitness wise. I don't think this is a coincidence. While they are lovely people, they have no drive and sadly Tyler will always be the toxic narcistic Leo and Matt, as I like to call him...doormatty, will always justify Tyler because he is toxically codependent. It's Not like that with Johnanthan (@witchtomes) and Eric. It feels easy and all three of us are busy working...adulting and not being a mooch is a novel concept innit lol.
I have even begun gaming, playing my flute/cello and painting again. It feels like finding myself again.
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