problematic gilf corner

he's a war criminal he's a child abuser he's a capitalist he's violated the geneva conventions he's a murderer and worst of all he's british. what's not to love? (if you need me, find me on my main @idridian)

[watari-apologist]

i feel the need to clarify in this moment that when i say i'm a 'watari apologist', what i mean is that i not only believe everything watari did was morally correct and justified, but also that i find him very attractive. and personally, i think he should have committed more and worse crimes

[watari-apologist]

i'm only kind of joking, and only about one (1) of those three things

[watari-apologist]

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS DOUJINSHI?

Title: The Prodigy Circle: TeionYakedo Artist: Secco Release Date: 2005-11-3 Size: 44p

I've been looking for it on various doujinshi websites for several months and haven't been able to find it (it's quite old and therefore rare) - so if YOU own this doujinshi and are willing to part with it, I will buy it from you!

Please note that you'll need to be able to prove (via pictures) that you actually have it before any money changes hands.

The doujinshi does NOT need to be in mint condition! Small traces of usage are no problem as long as there is no major damage that would impact the ability to read it (missing or torn pages, pages made illegible by stains, etc).

I will pay for

the doujinshi itself

the shipping costs

any customs fees if you're sending from outside the EU

your next order of coffee or other beverage of choice as thanks for helping me find it

Message me here or on Discord under the name idridian (which is also the handle of my main Tumblr)! Cheers!

[watari-apologist]

update :)

[lunalit-river]

I translated this page of L File No. 15. It's one of the many passages of Watari's Journal. I couldn't find English translations for the passages of Watari's Journal, so I translated them from Mandarin translation to English. I compared the Mandarin translation with the Japanese original text using Google Translate to ensure accuracy and made some adjustments for flow and maintaining the original meaning.

July 7th, 2006. L. Was this the outcome of giving you the opportunity to learn? Was it arrogant of me to think that I had given you everything you needed? A genius without parents or relatives, without food or education, a genius who may have had a miserable past. Was I wrong? L wrote his name in the Death Note. Was this all for victory? Was this all for justice? To fight something supernatural like the Death Note, it is true that we must arm ourselves with something that is also beyond human understanding. It is highly possible that Light Yagami will write L's name in the Death Note. In theory, L must write his name in the Death Note first to prevent Light from doing so. But don't human emotions have a tendency to refuse to accept the truth and instead hope to twist logic and theory? L. Don't you ever place your emotions prior to your goals? L. I never meant for things to end this way. Your talent has surpassed mine, and now you are consuming yourself. But I… Today I learned F's death. Am I about to lose you, too? I have never felt so powerless as I do now. L. I am confused. When I established Wammy's House, I might not have anticipated this. I learned a lot from being with you, L, just as parents learn a lot from their children. L. Just one sentence is enough. Please tell me you want to live. L. L…

[vega-ly-art]

[gh0stbeeee]

I feel like people don't realize how much of a princess L is lmao

Like sure, Light takes care of himself and can be extremely prissy, but.

L literally hates doing anything "inane." Bro hates walking so much he uses a car to get everywhere, that he doesn't even drive. Ohba literally made one of those joke 4 panels where Watari pushed L around in a baby carriage.

He is so spoiled, so rich, all he does is get sweets catered to him to eat ungodly amounts of sugar while he solves true crime all day while he kicks his feet and giggles

He has the capabilities to do things, but he doesn't want to. And he'll get someone to do it for him. He literally wants to be waited on, and that is something so funny that is extremely underutilized in the fandom. Like, if bro wanted a jar opened, he could do it, sure. But he would 100% just get Light to do it somehow for the convenience.

Also, he needs his super comfy cushioned throne chair to lounge in. He barely sits anywhere else. And all he does half the time is sit, he must hate standing and being on his feet.

Light has probably had to carry him when they were chained. L is lazy and light enough for it.

Bro is a princess fr.

[iced-sympathy]

L is more babygirl than Light CMV

[sashaisnotokay]

It’s hard for me to agree with the part of the fandom making Watari “sweet grandpa” who cooks and cleans.

I know that “One day with L” has portrayed him exactly so, but for me it seems as “realistic” as L not sleeping for days and still being able to solve the hardest cases possible.

I think Quillsh Wammy is a really busy man, who takes care of finances (including taxes, following L’s and his current financial state, investing, donating, and who knows, maybe they have some business?), orphanages (even if he is not involved in directing, he is probably involved in financial side), and maybe scientific world.

I just think he doesn’t have time to be a housekeeper. Why do you think they don’t have a cook and a cleaner? These workers don’t have to know what is going on in the house, they are just working for a busy old man 🤵🏼 and his weird adopted son. 🦹🏻

[lawlightautismtruther]

I genuinely feel like L’s monster speech is more or less just self-loathing rather than an objective observation of himself. I feel like once a piece of media leaves the artist’s mind, however a viewer interprets it, especially when the text itself suggests it more than anything, should be considered entirely valid. This is one of those situations.

The whole “L is a cold, stoic monster” thing just never really felt true, even though Obha insists on it. I’m not sure what his motivation for this might be, probably to make death note seem edgier than it is, colder and more morally gray, but tbh it loses depth under that lens.

I always interpreted L as so hypersensitive and lonely that he doesn’t know how to actually process it or communicate it appropriately, probably because of what I believe (and many others) is a case of autistic alexithymia. I think it made his death matter and it struck so much harder. It had more thematic implications on his and light’s relationship (lawlight aside Lmfao, even just the surface level friendship)

I think after years of having people run it into the ground that you will never be normal, that you are dysfunctional in your relationships, and that you’re a selfish liar would ultimately fuck up your perception of yourself. I think that’s L’s problem. He was always just a tool to other people— wealth for Watari and a mentor for the kids. He never got the chance to prove himself capable of human emotion so at this point he just believes what people have to say about him. I think his death is actually a rebuttal to this idea. That’s why the monster speech is post-death. It’s supposed to show you how L viewed himself vs how he really was. How his sensitivity and desperation for friendship and love killed him. I can talk about why I think L not convicting Light was a choice if you guys want, but yeah, that’s my take on the matter. Obha aside.

[sashaisnotokay]

Here I am with another controversy.

Wammy’s house.

Another Note, from where we get the most of information about the idea behind Wammy’s house, was “written” by Mello. By Near’s words, Mello is a person, who “lets emotions get the best of him”. So, to get the idea of what Wammy’s house really was like, we need to put away everything - Mello’s speculations, opinions and emotions - except pure facts.

And this way, we get very little: children in Wammy’s house were raised as L’s successors; A took his own life; B became a criminal.

I know that most part of fandom considers the concept of Wammy’s house to be wrong and hurtful. I want to show you another side of it.

To understand the concept of Wammy’s house better, we need to take a closer look at Quillsh Wammy.

I don’t believe in Wammy being an evil mastermind, I believe he was a person with a kind heart (Wammy’s house wasn’t the only orphanage he has founded) and his own way of thinking.

He was certainly a career-oriented person - he has achieved very much, and has continued to be very active, posing as Watari, not being just a butler for L, but participating in L’s detective work.

This kind of people find their happiness in fulfilling their potential, and value education and career very much.

I am convinced that this was one of two main reasons for creating the successor’s program: to give brilliant young minds the best possible education and the possibility to build a career as a world’s best detective.

I also see Wammy as a person with pretty much conservative views, and having a strong old-school moral compass; that leads me to believe he viewed L’s work as a good deed, and genuinely wanted it to be continued - that’s the second reason for founding Wammy’s house.

But people like Quillsh Wammy have also a weakness - they are not emotional. Strong willpower, that makes them great achievers, makes them also feel that many things can be achieved with just patience and determination.

That’s one of the reasons why we have A. I don’t know if that was the fault of the successor’s program being too harsh. Although I have some thoughts about A’s personality, and I would like to share them in another post.

But the good thing about Watari as an inventor was that when things didn’t work, he didn’t throw them away. He tried to understand what’s wrong, eliminate it, and make it work.

The evidence of this progress is:

First - we have no tragic stories anymore (Matt and Mello don’t count, the tragedy of their story was their involvement in Kira case, not the successor’s program);

Second, and the most important - Near successfully taking over L’s name.

[sixrealmsbeneaththesea]

finally i can stop sitting on this egg. i just... the last few... several... many months have been. H E H. long and meandering. but always full of some sorta growth. and that is good.

a commission, the last great one@! commission project, rather, that gave me the opportunity to do things; for my most esteemed patron, @idridian, whom had blessed me with much reading food. to give me a feeling of rawness, evisceration, otherworldliness even (because believe me i'm mostly dead inside irl lolol, so i needed me all of the above, that inspiration ensued).

mmmm. the thing what i fondly call watarimon, a.k.a. old wammy... and a wee 'godling.' from their fic "Never Were, Never Will Be". links will be provided.

a combination of concept, fanart, mood piece. i came, i read, i learned. i will grow. thank you. now i sleep

[idridian]

"art thou lost, little creature?" (aka the aforementioned link to the fic. mind the tags, please and thank you! it has all the archive warnings on it for good reason)

that being said: thank you SO much for these, i absolutely adore them <3

[watari-apologist]

do you think there would have been watari/L shippers within the death note universe?

personally, i think pre-kira, there was a small fandom surrounding the top detectives like L, deneuve, and coil, and most of the people in the community would ship them amongst each other. but there would be a dedicated subsection of the fandom made up of mostly people whose favorite detective was L who were absolutely obsessed with watari/L. i feel like most of the fics would either be really soft fluff portraying them with a sort of king/knight dynamic, or shameless smut of a bdsm dom and his hyperobedient sub.

post-kira, the detective fandom tag on ao3 would get flooded by kira/L fans who are unfamiliar with the fandom's history, inside jokes, etc, thus causing the older fans (especially ones who like deneuve or coil more than L) and the watari/L fans to develop a superiority complex over the new fans since they're, like, veterans or something. i don't know

(teeeeechnically death note takes place at a point in time slightly before modern fandom, the way we know it, but let's pretend haha)

while that kind of fandom would definitely see a lot of new people joining (as is the case with most fandoms when A Big Thing Happens, in this case the lind l. tailor broadcast), the impetus of kira/L would probably still come from the og fans themselves. prior to the broadcast there'd be theorising on if/when L would get involved, i imagine, and a select few fans would already be writing kira/L fic. mostly a crackship thing at that point, you know.

(also there is DEFINITELY already kira rpf, which exists separately from the detectives fandom at the time, so kira/L is crossover created by the fans who are in both communities)

fic of L, deneuve and coil setting their differences aside voluntarily or being forced to team up in various couple or threesome constellations to solve the kira case - and have a lot of very plot relevant gay sex on the side - springs up almost immediately too. sometimes kira kills one of them to heighten the drama. L taking the case, getting killed and then deneuve and coil banding together to avenge him is a fan favourite.

the watari/L crowd are on the ball as well: you've got the obvious where one of them gets killed by kira and the other tearfully avenges them. you've got watari getting kidnapped to blackmail L (which was probably already pretty popular in watari/L fics tbh; it's just good angst). and of course that one writer who has every watari/L shipper scream praise and obscenities at them in the comment section because 50k words into a fic, they drop the reveal that watari was kira all along and L is completely at his mercy now and things get REALLY dark REALLY fast.

and then tailor gets killed live on television and L directly challenges kira. the few fans lucky(?) enough to live in the kanto region who actually saw the broadcast in person come in screaming and crying, first liveblogging what's happening and then posting recordings uploaded to youtube, and the fandom LOSES ITS MIND. it's the middle of the night for some of them, but it does not matter. everyone is blowing up the message boards (or discord channels, or wherever the fandom is congregating), the first few fic writers are already hard at work, fanart is being created, the 'lore' people are drawing extremely funny conclusions about L's personality based on this daring move of his. it's a wild night/day for everyone.

and then... well. the excitement is so intense that others from outside the fandom bubble take notice. probably also a healthy dose of people going "haha what if anyone shipped kira and L together and wrote fic what a hilarious and unlikely idea" and then being shocked when searching the pairing on ao3 - or whatever the in-uniserve equivalent would be - brings up actual results. screenshots get passed around, there's the first inklings of disdain from the uninitiated (isn't it weird to write fic about real people? isn't it kind of fucked up to write fic about real life crimes and murders, especially?), maybe a small news article reporting on the fandom as a curiosity. you know how it goes.

but all the attention doesn't just attract the ones who find it weird or creepy. more than a few people look at the idea of shipping kira/L - or making fan content of kira and/or L in general - and go "i hope this doesn't awaken anything in me" and then (spoiler alert) it definitely awakens something in them. here is where the big influx of new people happens - and while yes, some og fans would definitely be disgruntled by the upset, it's probably just a lot of excitement for the most part, a lot of art and fic and what have you being created because there are suddenly so many more people.

this would of course lead to ship wars (it always does lol) - the kira/L crowd, mostly newcomers, might not even know about deneuve and coil and watari because their only point of reference is the broadcast. cue the og fans creating big 'lore' summary posts with all the important info and fandom history. some of the new fans don't care and will never read them, but i like to think that it wouldn't be a stand-offish 'old vs new' mentality. fandom isn't about animosity, it's about showing the thing you like to other people.

the detectives fandom is pretty old; it has been around at least since L started solving cases, and there was probably a select few people who shipped coil and deneuve and other top detectives even before that. (hilariously, that means there were probably newbies who came into the detectives rpf fandom when L showed up and had to be lectured by those fandom olds back in the 90s or whenever haha)

of course there will always be bad eggs. people who look down on the newbies and go "i liked x before it was cool." you always have people like that, but they're not usually the majority. most fans would just be excited that there's suddenly so much happening in their previously so tiny community.

one thing that might ruffle a few feathers is the way L is portrayed visually. before, it was likely a tma jonathan sims situation where obviously nobody had any idea what L looked like, so there was sort of an agreed upon 'fanon' look for him that artists who drew him and writers who described him in text would reference. after the lind l. tailor broadcast, a lot of the new fans probably start drawing L as looking like tailor just because it's a convenient visual reference (and because tailor is admittedly kind of good looking. which of course brings with it the moral handwringing of whether it isn't kind of fucked up to draw fanart of a guy who got killed live on tv, and who was also a criminal on death row)

(also, consider the tiny subset of the fandom who ship L/tailor and make up AUs where he wasn't actually a criminal at all but L's childhood friend who has helped him solve cases all along and sacrificed himself for the greater good and L is mourning him fiercely. anyway)

then again, back when the fandom was tiny they probably also had their fair share of debate about what L and watari look like (and deneuve and coil, if they were anonymous detectives. otherwise they would get portrayed the way they look irl, obviously). tiny fandom wars were waged over their ages, their backstories, what the exact power dynamic is between them.

top L defenders go to bat for the master/servant dynamic while top watari fans shoot back that L could just as well order watari to top him, or even headcanon that watari is the one in control actually and L is just his mouthpiece. "watari didn't work for L; L worked for watari," as the german death note audio drama would put it (reset the clock, i've mentioned it again). watari gets drawn in the trenchcoat+hat+mask combo A LOT and it's generally agreed upon by watari/L shippers that L finds this outfit extremely hot and has ordered watari to keep it on during sex at least once.

also kira gets drawn as an eldritch horror creature with tentacles sometimes for obvious reasons. the doujinshi are wild.

og fandom in-jokes for your consideration:

personally apologising to L (primarily when posting smut) - the fandom likes to joke that L probably keeps tabs on what's being said about him online, mostly to squash attempts to locate/identify him and other nefarious plots, and is therefore probably at least tangentially aware that there's fanfic/art and stuff being made of him. opinions vary on 1) whether he reads any of it and 2) if he is actually secretly One Of Them

variation of that last point: "i'm not L." which is exactly what L would say if he were one of them, of course. there's one fan in particular who has been jokingly suspected of being L for years because of their really specific headcanons for him

watari's height - nobody has any hope of figuring out what L looks like, but there exist at least a few photos of watari and the fandom has been desperately trying to figure out how tall he is based on the height of the people he's been photographed standing near. general consensus is somewhere in the 5'10 area, but there's one person who stubbornly insists he's 6 feet (it's me. i'm that person)

there's an infamous watari/L crackfic where orgasming is the only way L can solve cases, and all that that entails. it's considered an integral part of their fandom's history and is one of the first things the new post-tailor broadcast fans are subjected to when they join

[watari-apologist]

oh while i'm here, allow me to inflict on you my favourite panel from what might be the most unhinged doujinshi i've ever read, "mission bathroom: watari type service simulator." look it up at your own risk because it is, to quote one of my ao3 commenters, "pretty gross" and this particular image is like... the least questionable thing in it.

take a wild guess what that fluid is, i'll wait

[liquidpaperfoundation1]

Oh God why did you remind me of this doujinshi

[watari-apologist]

listen, watari/L shippers can't be picky. it's this or die <3

[wttcsms]

"he can do no wrong" well actually i think he did a lot of wrong things, and that's specifically what attracted me to him in the first place

[watari-apologist]

love and capitalism on planet earth <3

[watari-apologist]

by the way, you should go follow my side-sideblog @fuckwatari for... uh. exclusively hornyposting about the old man, i suppose.

[watari-apologist]

top 10 attractive traits of watari, GO

ON IT, BOSS

10. extremely rich

the man is Absolutely Fucking Loaded. like if we take "L: wammy's house" as canon, we are talking multi-millions or -billions kind of rich. he owns real estate. if you're going to fuck him for no other reason, fuck him for the fact that he will shower you with expensive gifts

9. impeccable fashion sense

every outfit we ever see him wear in canon is FIRE. the trenchcoat + hat + mask combo? mysterious. alluring. if he had only ever worn this in canon, the death note fandom would have been shipping him with L from DAY ONE and never stopped. his suit? simple yet effective. he knows it's a classic for a reason. whatever the fuck that attack helicopter outfit during the higuchi chase was? literally So Cool. my man CANNOT MISS

8. good manners

he's a gentleman through and through. will keep your secrets, discreet as all hell. unfailingly polite even if he's torturing you for information

7. tall

according to "how to read 13", watari is 5'9" (175cm for people like me who don't know the imperial system) which makes him slightly shorter than L, but i categorically disagree with that. like, this book also tried to tell me that he weights 51kg/112lbs compared to L's 50kg/110lbs estimation and i REFUSE to believe that watari, a well-built elderly man, weighs only slightly more than a 24yo twink with an eating disorder. like come the fuck on. those numbers are all made up. watari has the vibes of a man who is 6ft, and tall men exist only to be climbed like a tree

6. loyal

he will die for you without question or complaint, and otherwise protect you with his life. anyone who tries to harm you will end up mysteriously disappearing within a week tops, never to be heard from again. no amount of money or persuasion would ever convince him to betray you. it's like marriage, but more romantic

5. the voice

i don't know how to explain this one to you. if you don't already get it, i fear you never will. but an endlessly calm, soft-spoken british accented voice can be Everything - and it is. to me. ALSO since we are on the topic of voices, this is my chance to mention lutz mackensy, who plays watari in the German Death Note Audio Drama (reset the clock, i mentioned it again). he obviously doesn't have a british accent, but he DOES have the sassiest and most INEXPLICABLY HORNY watari performance to ever exist. the heavy breathing and Forceful Dom Voice "Komm schon" during misa's torture scene have been living rent free in my brain since the moment i first heard them and i will Never Recover

4. really good cook

sweets, pastries, cakes, chocolates - you name it, the man can make it. according to "L - the prologue to death note: spiraling trap" (or whatever we're calling it these days), he makes ALL of L's sweets and is in fact so famous for his sweets making skills that he has a whole mysterious alias associated with it (phantom patissier my beloved). feeding L sweets to gain his affection is LITERALLY a game mechanic in communicator mode and watari has been doing it for like a decade before your fbi agent showed up on the premises. seduction via food is his modus operandi

3. really good cock

some people say that sex with an older man is gross, but those people are cowards. don't let them fool you. watari has decades of experience under his belt (literally) and will gladly show off his skills. he knows where the prostate is. he knows where the g-spot is. he KNOWS where the clitoris is. additionally, he owns two hands and one mouth and a wide variety of expensive sex toys if the dick isn't quite the right thing for your pleasure. you are not walking away from that encounter without At Least three orgasms (unless you're into that, in which case he will edge you within an inch of your life and then just fuckin leave lol)

2. handsome

i mean...

i could elaborate, but i don't feel the need to. as brian david gilbert once said: "i don't know what to tell you. if you're not attracted to this, you're wrong"

and finally, the NUMBER ONE ATTRACTIVE QUALITY that watari possesses:

1. problematic

he owns orphanages all over the globe and at LEAST one of them is a front for a super-detective training agency that traumatises children. he works for L, a guy who has zero qualms about violating human rights, and is in fact not only complicit in kidnapping, but is seen actively participating in ACTUAL TORTURE when ordered (watari_pulling_on_gloves.gif my beloved). he shoots a sniper rifle at an occupied, moving vehicle in the middle of tokyo without a SECOND'S hesitation. something is Deeply Wrong with this man. i couldn't fix him if i tried, but honestly? whatever is wrong with him is way more fun and interesting anyway, so i might as well hang around to watch the ensuing train wreck <3

[watari-apologist]

i've got you, i've got you

[watari-apologist]

tumblr has informed me that watari_pulling_on_gloves.gif has been used in a post - specifically, a post that i'm reasonably sure is a joke about anally fingering Transformers

oh, the joy of knowing that people are seeing watari pulling on surgical gloves and thinking "yeah, that's definitely a prelude to sexy shenanigans"... that's what i call a Success lol

[war-criminal-watari]

wtf @watari-apologist went absolutely wild and translated The Ghost of You into German. I am in absolute awe. Holy fuck.

Everyone please check it out it's too cool to not be shared with the world.

The Ghost of You (6350 words) by YdrittE Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Death Note (Anime & Manga) Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Roger Ruvie/Watari | Quillsh Wammy, Matt | Mail Jeevas/Mello | Mihael Keehl, Matt | Mail Jeevas & Near | Nate River Characters: Watari | Quillsh Wammy, Roger Ruvie, Mello | Mihael Keehl, Near | Nate River, Matt | Mail Jeevas, Linda (Death Note), Original Characters Additional Tags: Dead L (Death Note), Wammy's House (Death Note), Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, POV Multiple, Matt | Mail Jeevas Has ADHD, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Suicide Attempt, Depression, Translation Summary: Als mit drei Worten Ls Tod von einem Verdacht zur Realität wird, nimmt Roger Ruvie an, dass Quillsh Wammy ebenfalls Kira zum Opfer gefallen ist. Die Neuigkeit treibt Mello dazu, Wammys House zu verlassen mit der Absicht, Ls einziger Nachfolger zu werden. In einer kalten Winternacht findet ihn derjenige, der ihn vor fast einem Jahrzehnt in das Waisenhaus brachte. Quillsh Wammy ist nach England zurückgekehrt - und bringt mit sich die Geister, die ihm auf den Fersen folgen.

[watari-apologist]

this just in: i like to be extra ^^