aHA I SUCK I MEANT TO PUT 18
short stories: things you said when you were scared. (not accepting!)
i. hazel, she says, eyes downcast. my name is hazel. you can tell she’s scared. it’s a new place, and you’ve never seen someone look so out of it, truly. she has big, sad golden eyes and her lips are turned down in the corners, tucked away so they don’t quiver. you tell her there isn’t anything to be scared of, but that’s not true. a daughter of pluto? there hasn’t been one in so long…you wonder, how will the legion react? but she needs some confidence before she sets out. and you want to help. it’s nice to meet you, hazel. i’m jason. how about i show you around?
ii. you might not be friends yet, you refuse to let anyone bully her. probatio or not, child of the underworld or not, you refuse to let the first cohort push her around. kahale is the only one with sense, but where is he?. but when there are certain social norms within the ranks–nobody disrespects the centurions of the first cohort–you have to be cautious not to offend. you could lose your own rank if they’re pushed enough, and he’s a little scared. only fifteen, and against numerous other soldiers. but then hazel scrubs at her eyes and you realize she’s trying not to cry, and your rage boils over. how about you assholes back off, before i bring this up with the senate and praetor reyna, huh?
iii. when the augur predicts the dangers of a sea monster, and your heart starts pounding like a jackhammer in your chest, and she nudges you, gently, to get your attention. sitting among the ranks of your own cohort, safe within their number, but standing out like a sore thumb because now–everyone is looking to you to lead the attack against the monster. you’re scared out of your wits. you’re not really sure this is a good idea, but she’s the only one brave enough to look you full in the eye. so you nod, more at her than anyone else in the room. i will lead the attack.
iv. when you know you’ve hurt her feelings, betrayed her trust. he’s her brother–how could i have said that to her? to them? and you’re scared you’ve lost the good favour of a good person. so you swallow your pride, and tell her; i’m sorry for what i said.
v. when you miss your best friend more than anyone in the world, and just want to apologize for not being there for him. so you dare, in desperation, ask her. can you…talk to ghosts? summon them?